Child with extremely dry, wiry hair

[FluffyPinkSocks]

Have posted before in the past. Dd10 has extremely dry, wiry, frizzy, flat, BIG hair….if that makes sense? She has always had what I would call ‘volume’. It’s really dry. I’m currently using Aveda conditioner on it, head and shoulders shampoo as it’s so difficult to rinse out shampoo. What can I use on it? She has taken to calling herself Hagrid….that’s what it is like! Please advise me on what to do! She is so self conscious about it 😩 think there are sensory issues going on too as she’s hates her dried or brushed.

Sorter hair is healthier so you could even consider getting her haircut - shoulder length maybe?

@gunnersgold

It's no doubt curly , get some curl cream in it when it's wet and diffuse it ! My hair was like that as a child and my mother had no clue how to care for it . I look shocking in every photo ! 🙈

I was thinking exactly the same!

OP, ignore all of the other nonsense on this thread about products, silk pillowcases and other clap trap you can waste your money on.

Buy some hair gel or mousse. Wet her hair. Slather a load of gel or mousse through it while it's wet so its sloppy. Scrunch it up and leave it to dry. Done.

If you want, invest in a hair dryer with a diffuser instead of drying it naturally.

Get used to wetting it every morning. I wet mine and scrunch it up again with a bit more gel every morning.

The other alternative is tying it back. I recommend doing it while it's wet. I pull mine back into a ponytail after washing if I CBA styling my hair. When I was younger my mum would do it in pig tail braids while it was wet.

No personal experience but just to say my friend had hair just like this when we were children, and then when she started looking after it herself (instead of her mum doing it) she worked out she just had really curly hair, started using some sort of serum after washing it, never brushing it dry etc, and her hair was transformed into this glorious Merrida-like mane.

My hair is curly and I would never put H&S on it. She needs curly hair shampoo, conditioner, curling cream and NO brushing when dry. Dry naturally over the course of the day or use very light heat with a diffuser for just a few minutes. Don't rub with towels. Just scrunch up after applying the curling cream with a cotton t-shirt. Sleep with silk pillows and put her hair in a pineapple to sleep. Then you end up with something like this

I forgot to say I only wash it every 5 days. Any more often, and the frizz comes out

I reckon she is curly

@Skullycup45 No need to be so rude, I find a silk pillowcase useful, not "claptrap". If stops static and doesn't sap natural oil out of the hair. Different things work for different people. I don't have curly hair, mine is wavy type 2b so closer to straight than curly. OP has not said her DD's hair is curly so may appreciate advice from a range of people with different hair types. Different things work for different people, if I tied mine back after washing as you suggested it would still be wet underneath 24 hours later and cause me scalp issues. But that works for you and I wouldn't feel the need to say you were talking nonsense for stating that.

Frizzy hair that's not curly needs weight OP, if it's wavy then don't cut it too short and layers should be long although avoiding them altogether may be better.

CeeceeBloomingdale

@Skullycup45No need to be so rude, I find a silk pillowcase useful, not "claptrap". If stops static and doesn't sap natural oil out of the hair. Different things work for different people. I don't have curly hair, mine is wavy type 2b so closer to straight than curly. OP has not said her DD's hair is curly so may appreciate advice from a range of people with different hair types. Different things work for different people, if I tied mine back after washing as you suggested it would still be wet underneath 24 hours later and cause me scalp issues. But that works for you and I wouldn't feel the need to say you were talking nonsense for stating that.

Frizzy hair that's not curly needs weight OP, if it's wavy then don't cut it too short and layers should be long although avoiding them altogether may be better.

I agree that you're being rude also. OP came on looking for advice and she is getting great advice.

Stop the H&Sh unless she’s got dandruff.
Frizz Ease conditioner, hair oil on wet hair, wide tooth comb and leave it to dry naturally.

Don't shampoo, wash with conditioner. Never brush and only comb through with fingers when wet with conditioner . Dry naturally without brushing or combing. Warm pure coconut oil in your hands till it's liquid and rub into dry hair.

I use oilatum shower gel. It has to be the shower gel. And only a little. Seems to do the trick

@Skullycup45 .. exactly! Childrens curls are different to adjust trying to resurrect their curls .
Just get some moisture in it and diffuse rather than blow dry .
Don't overthink it but don't dry brush it !!🙈🙈

I'm another who uses Cantu. I use their shampoo and conditioner, plus their curl custard. They're often on 3 for 2 at Superdrug. Between washes, I use imbue spray. I only brush when soaking wet. I usually scrunch through then leave to dry naturally.

When mine was longer, I used to tie it up in the top of my head with a scrunchie for bed.

My DS6 has hair like this and has quite bad cradle cap/dandruff. We were using a medicated shampoo but found it made his hair so dry and awful. We have found using olive oil once a fortnight/week on his scalp helps keep his curls moisturised and also helps the flaky scalp.

I nearly cried reading about the brushing and shampooing.

Your DD's hair is dry (frizz) and if curly (very probably) Does. Not. Need. Brushing. Ever. As this will cause frizz.

Lots of conditioner. Maybe try a deep conditioner to start with (leave on for half an hour under clingfilm). Make sure the conditioner is silicon free - this just means it will be water soluable so will wash of with water and not build up. Silicon shampoos coat the hair....which then needs a strong/harsh shampoo to clean - which dries the hair.

When you condition really squish the conditioner in. Cup the hair from the bottom and squish and pulse it so you get squelchy noises. This forces/encourages the conditioner to get into the rougher cuticle of curly hair.

Only comb (wide tooth comb) when wet or damp. Never when dry.

And yes - try a basic mousse or gel - comb or rake through when damp. Leave to dry. The product helps keep the hair defined/stops frizz and kind of seals moisture in a bit. Once it dries it will be crispy....this is GOOD. Just gently scrunch out the hair (cup in hands and gently push to the scalp) and the crispiness goes.

You don't need to use expensive products. But they do need to be curly friendly - so nothing silicon and nothing with harsh sulphates or alcohols. You do not need to remember this - but just find the list of ingredients on line, cut and paste into www.curlsbot.com/ and it will tell you if OK to use.

Cheap works - especially when you are starting out. See if it improves things - and then you can maybe amend/change if you need to.

And for both conditoner and gel use more than you think you need. Curly hair sucks it up. You need it to be squishy

Cheap conditioner:www.boots.com/alberto-balsam-coconut-and-lychee-conditioner-350ml-10301683

Cheap gel - readily available:
www.boots.com/wella-shockwaves-ultra-strong-power-hold-gel-200ml-10085144?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc--PLAs_HeroCompare--Toiletries_Men-_-UK_Smart_Shopping_Toiletries_Men&gclid=Cj0KCQiAieWOBhCYARIsANcOw0wghDvdEChvmYBrrLGoOmIxaba-nC4Uz0rYmSZiZbZ-ud342CV0CkUaAoUsEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

If you feel you do still need to use the H&S for her scalp (though you may find less drying routine solves and scalp issues) then coat the length of her hair in conditioner before using the shampoo on her scalp.

PIneapple hair overnight (high pony tail) so it doesn't get ruffled on her pillow. And yes, silk or satin pillow case also helps prevent ruffles.

Good luck.

I’ll say again the Frizz Ease conditioner. If I use anything else I can see the difference.

Oh and a lot of Aveda conditioners contain silicons - so coat her hair with the silicons which can build up on the hair. This alone can make it look dry. But in addition in means no "conditioning" element can penetrate the hair. So it gets dry. And you need harsh shampoos to remove the build up. Which makes it dry.

You conditioner choice is 100% your first point of call.

[[curlsbot.com]

Why would anyone say that silk pillowcases are claptrap? . That's weird ,not those who recommend them I USE ONE ALL THE TIME and I really notice the difference in the look and condition of my hair when i don't.

One of the problems is the hard water almost everywhere now, that and the H & S harsh types of shampoos which remove all the natural sebum from our hair. The lavender essential oil is incredible not only for hair and scalp it removes red marks from skin too,

Iam talking from personal experience (like the other posters I hope ).

Thanks to everyone who replied, I’ve cut shampoo out, it’s unreal the difference it makes! This past week I’ve just rinsed with conditioner and then put some leave on conditioner on. No tears, no hassle. Will definitely look into the curly hair method, she had a real kink in her hair when she was a toddler but it fell away the more she had it cut. Thanks again everyone!

Would love to see some before and after photos. Curly hair is glorious

That is really interesting about wiry hair and hormones.

I straighten the hell out of mine using some defrizz serum and a clamping brush while blowdrying. I figure it is so thick and wiry it can take it. I only wash it once a week.

I did try making it curly but I looked like I had been dragged through a bush. If my hair was cut short then it would be naturally curly but the weight of the length means its wavy. My main concern is to control the frizz.

I'm not disputing the curly girl method but it can look quite greasy with all the products.

How old is she Fufffy ? Mine went frizzy when I reached puberty. Mum didn't know how to deal it then. My eldest DD's was the same but I grew it so she could just keep it up in a pony tail (which she still does but straightens and heavily conditions too).

Some people like the curly look others don't!

Oddly at the menopause and at each pregnancy my hair went much straighter and is now lovely esp. with the silk pillowslip!!!!. Still with the volume.

I reckon that the genes have a lot to do with it as well as the hormones because 2 of my 3 children have that type of curly\frizzy hair and one doesn't! (oh they all have the same parents btw!).