How can I make myself more attractive?

[MoneyFor]

I've recently split up with my ex. He is not a particularly nice person and he has told me twice now that I'm ugly and he's glad he doesn't have to see my ugly face ever again. Obviously he will as we have a child together. I don't want him back (he has a new girlfriend already anyway who I imagine is gorgeous). I also know he is being mean but he does also have a point. I'm not the most attractive person. I need to lose a stone at least in weight too.

I need help and hope you lovely people can offer me some tips. I'm rubbish at make up etc. So some basics would be really useful. I'm 34 soon and don't want to be on my own forever.

No NO NO!
Stop listening to him. He is going you HIS OPINION to justify the end of the relationship.
I bet you are just beautiful - not that it is any of his business.
Don't feel intimidated by his new girlfriend and imagine that she is more beautiful than you. Feel sorry for her, and wish her well - she is now with an opinionated tosser!

When YOU want to do something, do it for yourself!

Take care of yourself. Best wishes xx

Learn some mindfulness. Nothing is more beautiful than inner peace.
Eat well. Clean food. Raw, simple, not much in the way of spices or extras. Drink water or herbal teas (in reason. Dodge liquorice, or anything sweetened).
Exercise - walking, preferably, daily.
After that, good (discreet) perfume, decent haircut, clothes you enjoy wearing.
You'll be beautiful by January. Your own inner beauty will reassert itself, after being oppressed and suppressed by that man. You'll be fine.

[quote gunnersgold]@JSL52 thank you , I have sorted it now and going to meet in the new year when new stock is out .. 🤩🤩[/quote]
Excellent

I was scared of OLD too - especially from reading on here! It sounded awful, but I haven't found it so actually. But here's the distilled Wisdom of MN on OLD that I think is worth knowing:

• only ever swipe people you actively want to have sex with, not men you imagine might fancy you
• listen to your gut and unmatch whenever you are bored, nonplussed, annoyed etc
• put normal pictures up that look like you
• tell the absolute truth and be glad that truth will filter out a lot of frogs
• say exactly what you are looking for and hold to it firmly
• don't message first - a lot of men just collect matches - if they are actually interested they will message you
• and most important: don't text loads - meet in person for a short drink/coffee date as soon as possible and find out if you like each other that way

Thank you for the old tips. I'll remember them when the time is right. It all seems so scary.

@gunnersgold I'm 5'8 and a bottom heavy hourglass. I'm not quite pear shaped though. I'm currently a 14 bottom and 12 top.

The thing to do is not to start a big massive restrictive diet on the 1st January , you have a reasonably small amount to lose . Eat healthier . More fruit and veg , smaller portions of fried foods , less biscuits or cake etc . Get out of the house daily for exercise , a walk with your child , or if working , get out at lunchtime , just small things . If you don't already , take more care of your skin , drink more water.
Best of all , tell yourself daily in the mirror you are beautiful and better off without him.
Another one that sounds weird but works , smile , it makes you feel better . Look upon it as exercising your face !

Be kind to yourself @MoneyFor

My tip for looker better is to start with a really well fitting bra. Book a fitting with https://www.rigbyandpeller.com/en-gb/appointment-booker-in-person and get the right foundation.

Look after yourself and have a wonderful time. All the very best.

@MoneyFor perfect , having height makes everything look better ! 🤩🤩

You are slim and tall.

Some people kick on their way out don’t they. Emotionally unintelligent.

Have a good Christmas, Op, sleep as much as you want and drink more water, you’ll see how much better you feel. If it were me, I’d slather my hair in oil for a few hours and then wash and dry and leave it down, and do a face exfoliation or mini peel than loads of moisturiser. Always makes the best of skin and hair, for not much $.

If you can afford it book in for some salon treatments a facial, massage and body wrap as well as mani/pedi. Invest some time and money in yourself and self care. If you are not confident explain to the beauty therapist what you are trying to achieve and be guided by them.

If this is not possible a trip to Superdrug and buy new products, bath care etc and start looking after yourself.

Best wishes

@gunnersgold

If you live in the south I will help you in the new year , I work in a high street store so can do some personal styling ( for free obvs ) I'll guarantee you aren't ugly though , he is ugly and nasty!

Heartwarming.

Can you keep us updated, I’m excited for you! Love a bit of a makeover to lift spirits!

If you’re a jewellery girl, you could get some pick me up earrings!

I'd love to see an update too. I'm still fuming for you. Your post actually triggered me to have a dream about the ex boyfriend I mentioned on this thread

When my ex and I split, he said horrible things to me to try to dent my confidence so I wouldn’t get another boyfriend. He was a lying shit because I was awesome. Your ex is also a lying shit. You are awesome.

We will
Update ! 😊

In my late teens/early 20s I had a boyfriend who told me how ugly, fat, and stupid I was - no-one would ever want me if I left him. When I look back at photos from then I was so slim and pretty. No idea why I listened to him instead of my lovely friends. I bet you are beautiful, OP.

My top tip is wear good lipstick. I always wear red, it’s my “signature”, and it just brightens my face even if I have no other makeup on. I know that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. My friend always has lovely eye makeup and nude lips which looks great on her. Maybe you are an eye person?

(Oh, and of course I met someone fabulous! Because I am fabulous! I had quite a few years of horrible self-doubt, but my DP makes those worthwhile.)

Update please