How can I make myself more attractive?

[MoneyFor]

I've recently split up with my ex. He is not a particularly nice person and he has told me twice now that I'm ugly and he's glad he doesn't have to see my ugly face ever again. Obviously he will as we have a child together. I don't want him back (he has a new girlfriend already anyway who I imagine is gorgeous). I also know he is being mean but he does also have a point. I'm not the most attractive person. I need to lose a stone at least in weight too.

I need help and hope you lovely people can offer me some tips. I'm rubbish at make up etc. So some basics would be really useful. I'm 34 soon and don't want to be on my own forever.

@gunnersgold you’re amazing 🤩
So kind …and generous with your time 👏

OP you’re gorgeous.. never let anyone tell you otherwise .
I suggest your biggest takeaway from this thread should be always remember “Team Girl “ - having good friends in your corner will so enrich your life and help you with whatever life throws at you ..

The rest of the tips are great too … exercise for you to get your mojo … then all the other fun stuff cosmetics etc 😀

Good luck and knock em dead

@gunnersgold I've sent you a pm

Beauty isn't skin deep x x x

The PP who said happiness is beautiful is absolutely correct - nothing is as attractive and makes you want to get know someone better than someone who is happy in their own skin.
I can guarantee that's true of you OP, shoulders back, chin up and smile - you have plenty to be happy about and one of the things is that you've got rid of a dipshit for a partner.

If you have lots of money to throw at the problem and aren't averse; Botox is a quick way to make yourself more rested.
Next step, plenty of water, fresh air and exercise.
Get your brows/ lashes done, start a regular skincare routine ( it will make you feel better even if the effect isn't immediate)
Go through your wardrobe and prioritise the clothes that make you feel and look good. If you can afford it, buy things to fill the gaps in your wardrobe .

And live well. Good luck!

The relief of being free of such an unpleasant man will light your face up. Enjoy this next chapter in your life, and stop allowing him to get to you.

@gunnersgold

I'm actually not sure how to pm on the app. Can anyone advise. ?

Lovely offer. Don't think you can PM on the app

Ohhhhhh! So exciting!!! The Ex has gone and now you will find you have time to put into yourself, discovering new things, looking fab and feeling amazing!!! It’s got to be the best part about a break up and you have it all to come!

A few tips.
1, join a gym, you will love it, people don’t stare and everyone is really nice at a gym!
2, don’t tie your hair back in a ponytail with a hair band- this kinks the hair and damages it! Instead get a claw clip to pin it back out your face when you need it out your eyes.
3, fake tan, very subtle, not heavy! This will give you a glow where people will notice something is different but can’t quite put there finger on what!
4, hair cut, plus cut nails short and keep clean
5, whiten teeth.
6, skincare routine
7,Smile!!!

Good luck with it all- you will love it, makes you feel all special again.

@JSL52 thank you , I have sorted it now and going to meet in the new year when new stock is out .. 🤩🤩

He found you attractive enough to get with in the first place, he’s just trying to hurt you now its over. He is not a reliable teller of truth.

All that said though, if doing some exercise and getting some new clothes helps you feel ready for a fresh start, go for it! I think clean, shiny hair, blusher and some clear lip gloss always lift me. Good luck :)

gunnersgold
What a lovely, thoughtful and kind offer! I’d enlist your services if only I lived nearer!

Being happier will make you a million times more attractive. Do that.

What a cock he is! He hasn't said these things because he really thinks them. He's said them because he is a nasty bastard and is saying the worst, most hurtful thing he can think of because he wants to make you feel bad. It's not true.

He is the ugly one through and through. I think it was Roald Dahl who said that being a nice person shines out of your face and always makes you look lovely.

I had a long-term partner who was endlessly critical of my appearance and I felt much better once I'd been shot of him for a while. I hope the same thing happens for you and that you can heal from his horrible (and untrue) words with time and space.

Lovely offer from @gunnersgold. My personal tip is to treat yourself to a really good lipstick- lipstick and mascara make me feel polished even if I don't have time to do proper makeup (most of the time 😆). Good skincare also makes a huge difference,

I've felt like this after a break-up.
The most important thing is to try to feel happier, and you will look lovelier!
If you can afford it, a massage and a pedicure cheers life up. Neat hair, but never get a drastic hair cut when you're upset or in flux. Have you seen 'Fleabag'?! Be careful!
To feel better you need to be happy in your self, and with yourself. Walks are nice, and I like yoga, and find Yoga With Adriene on the internet to be gentle, encouraging and cheerful. You can do that in your living room without witnesses!
Follow Miranda Hart's Instagram or FB page. Let yourself be happier, with pretty feet. Sending joy and encouragement your way!

@gunnersgold that’s such a great thing to offer and really heartening to see 🌟

As for your ex @MoneyFor, his comments have no value. They are not his opinion of you just the best he can come up with to hurt you, and when he breaks up with the next person he’ll no doubt say it to her too.

My top tips are to first eat well and sleep well - probably the most reliable beauty tips of all time! Yes, as an aid to weight loss but more as an aid to state of mind. I’m no beauty myself and I’m in my mid-fifties but I know that everything slides if I don’t fulfill those two rules because my motivation diminishes. I don’t know what your budget is but perhaps get a good but not drastic hair cut (and possibly colour) and treat yourself to some decent cosmetics. I have also found Trinny Woodall’s videos on FB and YouTube about clothes quite helpful in getting me to think about how I can shake up my wardrobe a bit. I don’t have much in common with the multimillionaire size 8 Trinny with her massive wardrobe but she does have good ideas and not all she wears is designer (lots of Zara).

But whatever you do, do it for you, not with him in mind - he deserves no place in your head.

Buy some clothes you love. It doesn't have to be expensive - Vinted is great.

My besetting sin is wearing black. Sacking it off recently for jewel colours has done wonders for my happy.

And listen to the poster above who says you have something the new gf doesn't - be shot of the arsehole. Wise wise words.

What a jerk! OP, you could have been Nicole Kidman on her best day and he'd probably have said the same thing. He was trying to hurt you.

If you do go for a makeover, do it for you and yourself only. You do not exist to be decorative and to perform beauty for pieces of shit like him.

Exercise has given me a lot of personal happiness and I echo the pp about walking and healthy diet!

You might be surprised how attractive you are. When my relationship ended (after ~20 years) I didn't imagine anybody would fancy me. For various reasons I had honestly just closed that door in my mind completely. I couldn't imagine it. And I had no idea how dating worked anyway, as it's all so different now.

I'm an ordinary looking 40ish woman - a little pudgy, crap teeth, don't do makeup - but when I eventually turned my eyes to look, there were plenty of guys interested in going out with me. I can arrange a date with a nice looking, solvent, age-appropriate, interesting man any day of the week. And so can you, if you want to. (You don't have to want to.)

What a complete turd he is.
Get outdoors - it helps you feel good inside, and gives you a natural healthy glow

Oh and if you need a bit of help achieving a healthy glow at this time of year, try Tan Luxe tanning drops. A couple of drops in your moisturiser at night = a bit more glowy by morning!

Congratulations for getting away from that fucker!!

[quote gunnersgold]@JSL52 thank you , I have sorted it now and going to meet in the new year when new stock is out .. 🤩🤩[/quote]
This is so lovely of you! Enjoy OP!

Thank you so much lovely people. You've all lightened my day. I'm particularly looking forward to new clothes in the new year thanks to @gunnersgold

I'm quite outdoorsy as it is and have a friend who I usually go out with but I wonder whether it might be worth joining a group too. And fake tan might be a good idea. I guess the next stage would be OLD but this scares the crap out of me

I use isle of paradise tanning drops in light and just add a bit to moisturiser which is great on my pale skin .
What size / height/ shape are you so I can have a think about styles that would work for you.

Nope. The next stage = a bit of time to yourself. Don't forget to be all bright and breezy when you do handover. Like... can't stop, things to do, places to be, must dash... see ya.

Honestly. Firstly some good rest, love and accept yourself, and smile.

Then get princessing!