Cutting long hair short after separation from DH

[SwaylorTwift]

My hair is very long and it's been that way for over twenty years. I wear it in braid pinned up most of the time or down curled for special occasions. I dye it (though starting to lighten it to mix with grey)

Anyway, had a horrible time with DH. Split as found out about his affair. Things may resolve
I'm too hurt and angry at the moment.

And I have an overwhelming urge to cut my hair very short. Just feeling it around my face makes me irritated and I almost want to grab scissors and hack it off.

DH loves my long hair, but I did too.

But now I am longing for pixie style crop.

So should I follow my instinct or resist?

Depends just how long it is. Mine would take years to grow back to the length it is now, though a pixie cut wouldn't suit me and perhaps it might suit you.

I don't know what to advise, but would agree with caution and go up in stages (waist, to mid back, for example, if that applies), and possibly a colour change.

Don’t make any decisions until you feel less angry. In the meantime can you style it differently?

Don’t do it. Depending on length have several inches cut off and a good salon colour. Take it in stages.

Do it.
Hair grows back. It's okay to make "mistakes" with it and experiment.
Unlike tattoos!

Go for the big haircut. Fresh start and all that.

It'll grow back if you change your mind

Good grief woman ! Step away from the scissors.....

It's the creep of a husband you need to cut off and not your hair, at least.. not until you have come to your senses.

If you still want to do this then consider your bone structure and work out if a short style will suit you because once it is gone..... and will take years to grow back. Years and years.

When I was growing out the box dye I wanted to shave my head and I am so glad I didn't but the temptation was so strong at the time.

Change your style up so you have choices. But do not cut it short, not now while your feelings are all over the place

Experiment with some new make up instead - and if in six months time you still feel like having short hair, then go for it.

What if you have it all cut off, then decide you hate it? Haven't you got enough on your plate at the moment??

I grew my hair out, dyed it bright pink, and got a tattoo when I finally divored my abusive prick of an ex. A few years later, hair is still bright pink, still long, and I bloody love my tattoo.

Speak to a stylist, get advice of what would suit you, and go for it!

It's a bit of a cliché, isn't it.

I know others are saying do it in stages but long hair can be donated to wig-makers. Google it - there are various charities who can benefit eg cancer.

l would try a wig, as not permanent. Ebay and Amazon do them quite cheap.
I have long hair and it is my comfort blanket, so l couldnt get it all cut off, it is quite a risk because how will you feel if you dont like it ?

I cut my hair from hip-length to pixie in one go when I left a really bad job. Must be something to do with making the break! I loved it, and never regretted doing it. I then grew it out (which admittedly took a year) and then a couple of years later cut it all off again (which I also loved and didn’t regret), but eventually got fed up of regular haircuts and grew it out again. Which also took a year. I really don’t suit a bob, but I do suit both long and short hair. If you think you look good with your hair up, you’ll suit a crop. Pick a style you like and don’t do the halfway bob thing - that would have put me right off and made me regret it!

It’s a myth that short hair is always harder to style. I had a pixie cut for years and after a couple of cuts we had found the style that worked for my hair type and I could be ready in minutes with a blast of a hairdryer and some putty. Now, thanks to covid I have a bob again and I often think about lopping it all off again but I think I might try a shag cut first for fun.
Mine was originally in response to a bereavement. Sometimes emotional choices are the best choices.

Cut it!
I've had short hair most of my life, for convenience and to keep the curly frizz at bay. A combination of lockdown, a migrating hairdresser and a divorce means I now have lovely long hair. It really does feel like a new me for a new start.

Worst come to the worst, if you hate it you can always get Brazilian knot hair extensions.

I did it, married 20 years to a man who controlled every aspect of my life, apart from going to work, which actually kept me sane,and long hair which he hated. I refused to have it cut,saying I needed it to keep my ( nursing ) hat on at work. Had the whole lot cut off, spikey on top,shaved round the edges. It was my "fuck you,I'm in charge now" moment. I didn't regret it,have had lots of styles since,long,mid,short

Cut my then long(ish - about mid-back) hair in to a bob after a break-up following infidelity about 15 years ago. Haven’t really gone back since, no regrets. But I’d had both long & short hair before. I’d say go for it, hair grows back and it’s a low-risk way to reclaim your body for yourself.

It’s a common desire in women who have recently separated I believe; changing one’s scent is another thing. Why not go for it, it will grow again.

Sorry to hear about your break up .

I also agree stages are better. That way you get used to it gradually and can also give feedback on the style each time as there are actually loads of different pixie cuts.

Do it. It's only hair.
Make the first cut shoulder length, long enough to tie back if you want to.
Then play around with colour ( get the hairdresser's input).
Just go progressively shorter until you get to pixie length if you still want that.

Do it! When ex and I split I went from bra strap length layers to a short do (based on Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors, which shows you how long ago it was!).

I would've said be bold and embrace change, but you say you love your long hair too OP, so I'd say take a stylist's advice on cut and colour and have a revamp, but don't go drastic straight off.

Hair grows back but it takes a long time. Why not go for a sexy layered long hair look?

The urge to cut hair after something traumatic like a bereavement or divorce is fascinating psychologically, as historically Native Americans would only cut their hair after a relative died. It was seen as a fresh start for the family left behind and signified growth and healing.

Not really relevant here I know but still fascinating that's it's a common reaction in people, a new identity from a painful past.

@OnlyClothes

Instinct.

However, a pixie cut is very short and needs maintenance. How about a shoulder length Bob for now, just till you get used to shorter hair?

I have short hair needs no maintenance, a bob far more! Go for it OP

Go for it, having your hair cropped feels very liberated and you can always wear a hat while it's growing back if you don't like it.