Once you've worn a dress for a funeral is it ruined?

[PackedintheUK]

I wore this Whistles dress for DH's funeral. I got a lot of compliments, which was a bit weird in the circumstances, but it's a good dress on me.

I bought it for work really, but happened to have it unworn when I needed a dark dress so that's what I wore. I haven't worn it for any occasion since.

I'm in need of a smart ish outfit for a nice dinner and concert this weekend. I also need comfy shoes. I was thinking of this with navy suede knee high boots, but especially with the funeral connection, it feels a bit dismal. What could I do to brighten it up (that I can get hold of by Saturday)?!

I had a black trouser suit that I wore with a grey sparkly camisole top for my late dp's funeral, it had good memories as I had worn it for going out one New Year's Eve & the night we got engaged.

I’m sorry for your loss💐.

It’s a beautiful dress, quietly sexy because it shows off your waist and suggests rather than displays any cleavage. I agree with you that a necklace wouldn’t sit well with that neckline. Would chandelier earrings suit you, or a big jewelled hairband? I’ve seen some in Zara.

I was going to suggest wearing a very fitted polo neck sweater underneath but this might be too daytime-y?

For the evening you could try a brightly coloured cropped round neck cardigan; or a round neck cardigan from eg Uniqlo - as it’s slightly longer than a cropped one I would roll up the hem slightly and tie it in a knot at the front, so you would still have waist definition.

I’m sorry for your loss.

I have one beautiful dress that I bought for an uncle’s funeral that I wear all the time. Another I bought for if my mother’s funeral was sunny – it wasn’t and I wear that dress still. The cold-weather dress I wore has never been worn since. Can’t bear to give it away, can’t put it in storage, can’t wear it. It lives in my wardrobe permanently and even though it’s my most beautiful dress, flattering (and also from Whistles), I just can’t. But it’s OK if you can!

It’s a gorgeous dress and if you look and feel good in it wear it to celebrate your husband and the time you had together. I’m very sorry for your loss.

For me, clothes are evocative. I just can't separate knowing I wore something for an incredibly sad and/or traumatic occasion.

In my late teens, I wore a brand new Joseph coat to my mother's funeral. I made a similar mistake of wearing a new(ish) expensive coat when I got a termination. I never wore it again.

However, I did learn a lesson from this. When my father died a decade later, I shopped accordingly and went to H&M as I knew I would never wear the dress again.

OP, it is a lovely dress, but for me, it would be too tainted to wear, so I do understand how you feel.

Sorry about your loss

Gorgeous dress, wear it and think of your DH. I’m sure he’d love the fact you’re wearing it again

I am so sorry for your loss. I have a funeral dress, that is actually a lovely dress but I could never wear it anywhere else now due to the tragic associations (as well as granparent funerals I have also worn it to my father, FIL and son's funeral).

It is a lovely dress, but personally, I would have to relegate it to funerals, but hopefully you will not have to attend as many as me.

If you do want to wear it again it is best to do it soon, to remove the funeral association and accessorise to the max.

Ok. So I'm going to stick with the boots because I'm past being uncomfortable for the sake of appearances and I've ordered this jacket www.lakelandleather.co.uk/easedale-leather-biker-jacket-in-aqua

I'm not sure it will arrive in time but I've been considering something similar for a while.

I also love this and have been looking for an excuse to but it, but in reality not sure how much wear I'd get from it. The leather one's more useful?

www.monsoon.co.uk/embroidered-velvet-jacket-teal-24046379.html

Nice jacket. And I love what a pp said, that it's a nice tribute to your DH. I like the idea of the dress being a regular part of your wardrobe.

I like the leather one. And that is a serious bargain.

It's a beautiful dress. Depends how you now feel in it. If you can think of it as a dress that reminds you of your love for DH, fine, rather than a dress you had to wear to his funeral, then that's OK. I like the dress I bought for my dad's funeral. Not worn it again since but might.

I recently bought an outfit for my grandmother's funeral.

I will definitely wear it again, maybe not just yet.

@dudsville

If you would like to keep and wear the dress I have an odd suggestion. Put on the dress and nip out to get a coffee, get petrol, pop into your corner shop for a few bits. The dress needs more associations.

That's a great idea.

I bought a Boden dress for best friends husbands funeral. Wore it to work which felt wierd at time but had a bright scarf that was special as someone gave it to me. It no longer feels wierd when I wear the dress. I felt the need to make a sort of tragicomic joke about looking like I was going to a funeral not work but that was my way of dealing with it. I didn't actually tell anyone it was the funeral dress. Its wierd that we feel it can be disrespectful but its just practical, as I had to buy a dress I might as well get some use of it.

@PackedintheUK

Ok. So I'm going to stick with the boots because I'm past being uncomfortable for the sake of appearances and I've ordered this jacket www.lakelandleather.co.uk/easedale-leather-biker-jacket-in-aqua

I'm not sure it will arrive in time but I've been considering something similar for a while.

It’s beautiful and will really brighten up navy.

Op may I say I love your style! The dress and jacket are gorgeous. I wore one of my favourite dresses to my df's funeral. I wore it again but it had more than one association already. The dress I bought specially for the separate memorial service I just couldn't enjoy wearing and I gave it away. Totally personal and totally depends I think

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your DH.

I think it might feel good to wear the dress, it is really beautiful and might lessen the association if you can wear it to other things...

That jacket is gorgeous 😍

I haven't worn the dress I wore for my Mam's funeral again. I try to but then I feel sad. I keep thinking I'll donate it but I might just put it aside for when my Dad dies. God that sounds grim.

I think if it was plain like your lovely dress I'd be able to add some statement jewellery and a belt so I could move past that.

If I had something I know my DH would have thought I looked lovely in I'd especially want to wear it again.

So sorry for your loss.

It's a lovely dress. I assume your DH would have liked you in it? Wear it in his memory.

I love the monsoon jacket and am now googling if there is a monsoon near me

So sorry for your loss
If you can wear the dress and think of your husband with a smile and warm feelings then I would wear it as often as you like , it's lovely

However , if putting the dress on makes you feel emotional , sad or not great then I would get rid of it

I don't see any clothing as being 'ruined' by being worn for a funeral. I have a lovely black coat from Hobbs (or was it Principles - yes it was!).

I use it for weddings/christenings and funerals. I love it - a bit military but single breasted.

I was going to suggest a bright pink belt, but now I've seen the wonderful leather jacket, I think that would be a great choice as it is definitely a bit more informal. Maybe a beautiful scarf with blues and greens in it to finish it off?

I still wear the dress I wore to my mum's funeral, but I had worn it quite a lot before then too - it's a very plain black wrap dress that can be worn in lots of different combinations.