I'm not 27 anymore. And it's all overnight.

[TwinsandTrifle]

I wouldn't have really thought about this before, but I've looked more and more on the fashion threads on here and I've got up this morning, looked in my wardrobe, and sort of recoiled. I don't know where to start, so I'll be as direct as possible.

Three years ago (before DTwins and lockdown) I was 36. Looked 26/27. Genuinely. And dressed like my peers who were all around that age. I also worked in the fashion industry and was pretty used to traipsing round in comfies and being put in outfits.

Roll forward a mere 3 years, just turned 39. But I now definitely think I look much more my age. Lockdown and twin pregnancy have definitely shown. So now I have a wardrobe for 26 and I'm 39. I'm stood here looking at it and it's all a bit cringe.

Where do I start. I think I get stuck because of what I look like, compared with the style I like. For example, I love Kate Middleton. Classic, elegant, but it works because she's quite tall and stringy, and pencil shaped. Imagine JLo in KMs clothes. She'd look ridiculous. I'm a JLo. Same skin tone, hair colour, small waist, big behind, fake boobs. I've always been a size 6, and after DTwins I'm an 8, so whilst I appreciate this is still small, my age 26 wardrobe doesn't only look too young, it now looks a bit too tight as well. Brilliant. Tops I probably need a 10. I don't know where this has crept up from.

I went through a phase of trying to dress a little older and more classically, and got some Fairfax long boots and a pretty gilet, and honestly, I looked stupid. My body shape is quite "sexy" so I can dress easily for the rare occasions we go out in the evening, but day to day, it's like I've woken up this morning and realised, I've got nothing to wear. And I don't know where to start, or what's right for my appearance and shape. I'm suddenly 13yrs out of date.

Where do I even begin?

Not sure I can help here, but exactly the same issues although add a few more years on.
Pre baby worked in a smart office so have a wardrobe of expensive (dry clean-not ideal with toddler snot) dresses and half a wardrobe of going out nightclub dresses all of which have not seen the light of day for 2.5 years.
Have realised at 40+ I cannot dress like a 20 year old and post baby body shaped has changed, bigger breasts and hips., therefore I am rapidly using Depop to get rid off all my pre baby dresses and investing in more expensive classic pieces
Cashmere jumpers, Spanx leather leggings, blazers and good boots that I can actually run after a toddler in.
I think as you get older having a classic wardrobe and using accessories to add colour is the key.
If you find a solution let me know and I will be watching with interest!

I could have written this. I went straight from mat leave to lockdown and feel like my clothes are hideously dated. Nothing looks right.

I really need to update my wardrobe but no idea with what.

I have jeans, leggings and plenty of plain t shirts. I guess i could do with some good / contemporary knitwear / leisurewear to mix and match.

I live in trainers and flip flops (although wore heels on friday for the first time in forever) and have lots of heel styles (stilletto and block) and bought some boots last winter. I definitely need a new fitted / wool coat (mine are either way too small or 12 years old!!) and my leather jacket is way too small too.

I like the idea of some floaty boho dresses for autumn with leggings. I have big boobs too and so many styles just dont look right or don't fit the same on top and bottom.

I definitely want to feel less mumsy!!!

Following this. Just had second child and feel completely lost fashion wise. I’m 36. Currently living in leggings and easy to BF tops but really lost what to wear to anything more formal than soft play or the park! I think autumn is possibly easier - jeans and Chelsea boots with a nice sweater?? But my sizing is all over the place and containing these boobs is a whole job on its own 😂

Welcome all! I'm so glad I'm not the only one, and also sorry you're all as stuck me.

@Suzy39 yes I did exactly the same, young looking, young wardrobe, pregnancy, then at 6 weeks post birth, lockdown. I'm unrecognisable to the woman 3 years ago. I need to sort out my hair which was shoulder length, coloured and styled every 6 weeks, and is now one colour and almost waist length and I need to get my eyebrows bladed again, eyebrows totally change my face and mine are thin and mishapen unless I bugger about drawing them in every day.

I don't know exactly what happened this morning, but I opened my wardrobe and it's full of awesome Cavalli dresses that I will wear once again if ever, and then stuff that's just suddenly awful. Hollister. Hollister I tell you
I'm thirty-fucking-nine.

I'm also doing a huge clear out on eBay. More so because I need to get this stuff out the house before I slip back into squeezing back into it.

What to buy? If I'm the wrong shape for what I like the look of, how do I find inspiration for new outfits?

Anyone???

Hollister I tell you I'm thirty-fucking-nine.
Love this OP. I feel you. I always had a fairly classic wardrobe but nothing fits and I feel terrible. Although only 3 months post birth. Always 8/10 went into a shop the other day and picked up a shirt. Tried on the 12, too small. So was the 14. I left close to tears and I know it’s all boob.. My hair is a mess. I have hormonal acne. I look terrible and it’s not all weight related my body is a different shape. I’m EBF and I look frumpy. How I feel about my body is part of the reason I don’t think I can face having more children. I don’t mind working to get back into shape, but to go through it all again seems like self inflicted torture.

What about one of those John Lewis in-store personal styling appointments?

@PurBal ah, now, shirts can fuck off. I was really unwell just before Christmas and went down to 7st 10. I looked gaunt. And the one shirt I have (32E boobs) is a size 14 and the buttons still gaped. So don't feel bad because of shirts. Bastard things.

But this is a great example, I think shirts look lovely on other people. That white shirt tucked into high waisted jeans skinny jeans, tan belt. Love it. Looks stupid on me.

I also don't suit black. So I find myself with a lot of grey instead, which isn't the prettiest.

I've been looking in Hobbs a lot, and like their stuff. But my mum wears it and that does jar with me, knowing I can wear this in another 25 years, so is it aging me to wear it now? Kate Middleton wears Hobbs though so I guess not. But then imagine JLo in Hobbs. Doesn't work does it.

Love this thread. All I seem to wear is skinny jeans and tees or jumpers. I have a couple of Boden dresses but they're stuff isn't grabbing me any more. White stuff are the same. I like mint velvet though. I'm 40.

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno I've seen a few people mention Mint Velvet. I always associated it with being more "nice outfit" clothes than day to day. Would you mind sharing what kind of things you've found there?

Course. Mainly t shirts so far but the jeans look nice and the shirts although I've been put off them due to boobs as well as I'm a double f. I also like the shoes but have only bought t shirts so far.

Mint Velvet has some ok bits but it comes up very big and will likely drown you.

I'm almost 39, have three children and I'm a bit fatter than I used to be, but am a size ten with a thickish middle.

In Winter, I tend to wear short, lightweight dresses mainly from Zara, H&M, Warehouse (sob!), with M&S 60 denier black tights and my soft lace up DMs or other leather boots.

I also like jeans, either straight leg with a slight crop, or decent fit Mom jeans, which I roll up a little and wear with trainers, of which I have about ten pairs. I tuck tops in, sometimes only at the front and tend to prefer round necks or V as they're more flattering. My hair is also now pretty much waist length and it's often scooped up in a bun!

I have a camel coat from Hobbs, a teddy coat from Zara and Mint Velvet coat with hood for when it rains. I love my All Saints leather biker for milder days and evenings.

Some lovely suggestions on here!
I am hoping the Autumn cooler weather hits soon as longer mini dresses with opaque tights and flat boots are a lifesaver for me as not too frumpy but I feel ‘dressed up’.
Also I brought a faux fur whistles coat in the sale last winter so hoping to get some wear out if that!
And some Grenson Nanettes again brought in the middle of summer as reduced!!

There must be a middle ground between KM & J Lo they are quite different, and I wouldn’t stick to just one shop. I have bits from mint velvet, french connection, biba, ted baker etc I don’t stick to one look or shop.

Perhaps some department stores if there are any left open near you so you can try on things from different places, fraser’s probably but John Lewis can do a few too. I like Norwich for that as they have both, (I’m in north of Scotland but my mum is in Norwich) just try things on and play around. Even buy cheaper primark stuff to see what suits you before you take the plunge with more expensive clothes, sounds like a minefield though. Hope you find your new style soon,

Also if anyone has had any luck with styling above knee boots 40+ let me know as I have an LK Bennett black suede pair in the cupboard for the last 3 years never worn!
Fine line between trendy and street worker!!

I’m similar OP; in age and body shape/size anyway. Although I’m very blonde and fair-skinned. My youngest is 3. I’m a scientist and as you’d expect it’s male-dominated so I often ‘hid’ my body shape as on the rare occasions I didn’t (mostly in summer), it led to unwanted attention (and it’s hard enough to be taken seriously on an intellectual level as it is).

I say hid as although I’m not channeling Scarlet Johanssen on a daily basis, I’m no longer hiding in jeans & converse. I went through exactly the same wardrobe crisis when DS2 was a baby. Felt like all my outfits were for teenagers and and couldn’t get boobs into anything (they have deflated back to 32E now).

I wanted to smarten myself up too but I’d just look like a frump in Kate M attire and I like something a little edgier, so I spent some time creating Pinterest boards of styles I liked and celebrities whose look appeals to me (mine are Sienna Miller, Nicole Ritchie & Brigitte Bardot). Think about your environment too; for me, pre-baby I lived in the city but since then we’ve moved (to a ski resort), so Ugg-type boots are useless in winter now, for e.g. (and who wears Uggs in summer - except the models in their marketing campaign!). Bye Uggs!

Maybe go back to basics and read up on the topic; The Curated Closet is a good book for that.

Definitely do some reading, Pinterest-ing and self-reflection

Honestly I'd go somewhere and get personal styling. I'm a few years younger than you but had similar challenges, and find that recommendations on here tend to lean very heavily towards Hobbs, Hush, Mint Velvet, Boden and other places that do some lovely stuff, but frankly are not a logical next step for someone with a JLo size 8 physique who is only just loving on from Hollister.

Surely you'd know someone in your job who does styling? If not, I hear there are a few good ones at Westfield, otherwise I found Fenwick's slightly surprisingly good and much better than my previous experience at Selfridges.

If your body shape might change again, I'd spend a good amount of time scouring Instagram or even TikTok for styles, then hit Zara / &Other Stories and maybe Sezane online with some extras from Arket or Uniqlo.
If you have more money, then Westfield - places like Maje or Sandro or even Whistles (on the right day) are good quality and have pieces that will flatter you and look a bit younger without being crop tops etc.

….before taking any radical action on the warden front!

*wardrobe!

To be fair, if you see JLO when she's not at a premier, she's either in her gym kit or jeans and a t-shirt with her hair scrapped back and no make up on.

But I get it. I find my 40s a difficult time to buy clothes for. It's been made worse by WFH now as well, I don't NEED to look smart anymore although I think my shape (also hourglass) definitely suits a bit of structure more. I have fallen into the default of jeans and a jumper or t-shirt TBH.

I was made to try on some dresses the other week belonging to a really cool 27 year old, and was gobsmacked about how good I looked. I'm 50, all boob and belly (which I'm working on, just as soon as I finish the bar of chocolate sitting next to me). The reason I looked good? Bravissimo dresses, cut for boobs, which go in at the waist, and mean you don't need to buy a size 20 for the boobs which looks horrific on a size 14 waist. Complete revelation.

Can't help anyone with style, but totally recommend Bravissimo for dresses

shirts look great if they fit perfectly and I have a "hack"
I'm also a weird shape and what I do is buy the next biggest size that fits everything and take it to an seamstress to get it sized down.
When choosing the shirt, focus on button positioning as this can be hard to move.

I didn't even realise bravissimo did dresses, I'll have a Google at that.

I do know a couple of stylists, but the best way I can describe it, is they'd make me look "trendy" and insist I looked great because it was fashionista worthy. Cropped wide leg trousers were suggested a while back. I can't tell you how bad the pair I tried looked.

Yes I think a good place to start would be to look on Pinterest. I'm just concerned that I'll gravitate to the look I like, which is quite elegant and classic. And my body shape isn't. I just stand out like a sore thumb. Like I'm in the wrong clothes.

If it helps. Today is a great example of my wardrobe. Skinny dark green rag and bone jeans. These are ok. God only knows how old they are, but they look alright, if a little tight. The only jumper I've got to go with them is this dark grey Michael Kors animal print thin knit long length thing. It's an XS, so where it used to look over sized, now it looks like I've bought a bit too big jumper that doesn't fit. And the animal print, used to look funky, with my nice hair and heels. Now with my long ponytail, as I put my trainers on with this ensemble to go to the supermarket, I look like a Latino Kat Slater

I'm 41 and been having a style crisis for years due to working from home for ages.

My advice would be look back at what you wore when you were younger and wear improved versions. This could be as simple as improving on details. Wear your most flattering neckline, wear what is best for your waist- often this is tucking a top in or a belt. Make sure trousers end at your most flattering point, often this is just above the ankle bone. Work out what you want to accentuate.

I really like this site for what styles to wear for your body shape - theconceptwardrobe.com/build-a-wardrobe/hourglass-body-shape.

Contrast works well- I have a round face so more angular lines around my neck work best. This accentuates my face more.

My body is quite angular with broad shoulders and I don't want to overdo it so I look very carefully for tops that are cut properly over the shoulders, not dropped shoulders (which are everywhere in fashion as they are cheaper to manufacture).

Other tips - pick about 3 neutral colours and 5 colours to accessorise.
I love the psychology of colour in clothing.

Draw out your week - what outfits do you actually need i.e. casual weekend, smart weekend, out out, evening chill, gym, work or work from home.

The MidLifeChic style blog has a series on style workshopping, where it suggests picking a few words from a list they provide that summarise your style. I'd already got as far as four words and I picked a few and thought what was the connection between them..then turned out I'd picked close to the same as the blogger.. So I've been looking at Parisian Chic for inspo. It's very simple and minimal, although some of the more modern stuff is a bit cutesy (Sezanne)

I've got as far as culling my wardrobe and not yet bought much but am quite excited.

How about the Reformation/Rouje style dresses? I am KM-shaped, but I guess they'd work on petite but curvy shapes too?

I'm 36 and for work I wear a lot of these midi-length fitted floral dresses (mine are from Oysho). Otherwise, I wear midi-skirts with Toteme vests. Massimo Dutti is good for the slinky midi-skirts in reasonably modern prints (tasteful tie-dye for eg).

Outside of work I do still dress like a gym-going-teenager, tbh.