I'm not 27 anymore. And it's all overnight.

[TwinsandTrifle]

I wouldn't have really thought about this before, but I've looked more and more on the fashion threads on here and I've got up this morning, looked in my wardrobe, and sort of recoiled. I don't know where to start, so I'll be as direct as possible.

Three years ago (before DTwins and lockdown) I was 36. Looked 26/27. Genuinely. And dressed like my peers who were all around that age. I also worked in the fashion industry and was pretty used to traipsing round in comfies and being put in outfits.

Roll forward a mere 3 years, just turned 39. But I now definitely think I look much more my age. Lockdown and twin pregnancy have definitely shown. So now I have a wardrobe for 26 and I'm 39. I'm stood here looking at it and it's all a bit cringe.

Where do I start. I think I get stuck because of what I look like, compared with the style I like. For example, I love Kate Middleton. Classic, elegant, but it works because she's quite tall and stringy, and pencil shaped. Imagine JLo in KMs clothes. She'd look ridiculous. I'm a JLo. Same skin tone, hair colour, small waist, big behind, fake boobs. I've always been a size 6, and after DTwins I'm an 8, so whilst I appreciate this is still small, my age 26 wardrobe doesn't only look too young, it now looks a bit too tight as well. Brilliant. Tops I probably need a 10. I don't know where this has crept up from.

I went through a phase of trying to dress a little older and more classically, and got some Fairfax long boots and a pretty gilet, and honestly, I looked stupid. My body shape is quite "sexy" so I can dress easily for the rare occasions we go out in the evening, but day to day, it's like I've woken up this morning and realised, I've got nothing to wear. And I don't know where to start, or what's right for my appearance and shape. I'm suddenly 13yrs out of date.

Where do I even begin?

@AnaViaSalamanca @FreeButtonBee @MargosKaftan thank you especially for great input xx

Lol, same boat here. My phone gave me a ‘memory’ of me looking fresh and young. I assumed it was from uni. It was bloody 2018!

I’ve signed up to stitch fix to see if they can save me. I’m sceptical tho. Will keep you updated!

I think you should order a load of jeans from ASOS/Zara to try on and return the ones you don’t like. ASOS do an hourglass fit, so search by ‘hourglass jeans’ and look at the slim mom jeans. Zara do a skinny flare that might suit you. You need shorter tops for high-waisted jeans, but aim for ones where the hem of the top meets your jeans, not flashing stomach. And Other Stories do loads of soft v-neck cardigans that might work. Wear with your veja trainers, or get some flat ankle boots. Zara even do cheap cashmere now. Look for some soft cuddly jumpers in colours that suit you.

Hi OP, just a couple more suggestions...

Have you thought about getting a style analysis? Not body shape (which is basic and outdated) but more detailed. I had one done by House of Colour and while I definitely don't stick to it, I'm glad I did because I can see why certain trends and items don't suit me. The system they use is loosely based on the Kibbe system (which again is a bit outdated). The preppy style you like would probably be a mix of Classic and Gamine (boyish) styles, which explains why it doesn't suit your very feminine sounding body. Although it is about your face too! Which brings me on to the suggestion...
www.truth-is-beauty.com/store/p82/Style_ID_Calculator.html
I haven't tried this myself, but this lady's blog is absolutely amazing if you are interested in style analysis. The video explaining how it works is interesting and it's only $14.99 for the tool which is a lot less than an in-person analysis, so might be a fun thing to do. For what it's worth, it sounds to me like you probably have quite a bit of Romantic personality - which isn't frills and flounces, but a mature, somewhat sexy, womanly style. So the preppy clothes will be all wrong for you, but if you know what ought to suit you, you can take that and apply it to the things you like - maybe a wrap shirt rather than a gaping button down one?

The other thing you could do, at your leisure, is to choose a shop that sells lots of brands (I did it this season with net-a-porter) and create a pinterest board, then just pin anything that takes your fancy when browsing the new in items. Hopefully themes/trends will emerge and you can get a sense of what you are drawn to. I am going through the same but opposite to you - lockdown and casual work clothes followed by a second pregnancy - I'm terrified I won't have anything I want to wear when I finally get back to "normal" sometime next year! So I did this to reassure myself that I still like the same sort of clothes and that they are out there. FWIW, I'm a Romantic Classic, so I do suit button down shirts, trench coats and blazers, but they need to have an elegant, feminine element to them, like a shirt would be silk for instance. It has really helped me to understand what suits me in this way (even if it doesn't always suit my lifestyle) and when I buy clothes that are trendy but not "me", I always realise sooner or later. Oh well!

From what you've written, it sounds like you would feel better/more yourself if you lost those few pounds, then I would make sure that you always, always emphasise your waist. Jumpsuits are indeed fab, I have a khaki denim boiler suit (with a belt) that I love and always gets compliments! So don't rule anything out.

Hope this rambling essay helps a tiny bit.

The (thicker waisted) wanderer returns. I've just ordered 3 pairs of high waist skinny jeans from River Island and a tracksuit that my 1.5yo girl twin probably wouldn't look out of place in, but it looked super comfy, and I need to accept most of my days are housebound, for now at least. £250 for that though! High street jeans and a trackie!

@BlairWaldorfLovesShopping thank you for such an insightful post

And apologies to the pp who have suggested Zara. I don't know why, but I have an irrational hatred for both Zara and H&M Have never found anything in either and find the stores far too big to bother wading through the very plain clothing.

ASOS.... associate this with teenagers, is it any good?

Depends on your budget. If you can afford more expensive stuff then avoid ASOS like the plague. Apart from the jeans, which I do rate.

I am crying at Toteme - £300 for a cotton polyamide mix ribbed top! Fuck me. And it’s all a bit drab and grown up. (I’m 37). I need something nicer than ASOS but in the remotely affordable bracket. At the moment I’m mainly shopping in & Other Stories, Zara and Oliver Bonas. OB is a little bit too Boden, though - you have to pick and choose carefully. Any further recommendations? I can afford maybe a little bit more than & Other Stories but not loads more.

Any recommendations for inspiration that aren’t aimed at late 40s?

Hi Op. Wanted to add that I completely get what you are saying about H&M and Zara and I used to be the same. I now with 2 young children, find that they are great for finding cheaper versions of things you do like from Reiss or other more expensive brands. Worth a look.

Think we’ve all been there!

I’m 30, had twins a few months ago and honestly this pregnancy has ruined my looks.

I need new clothes too but I don’t want to buy my current size, but don’t know how to lose weight either.

I follow "the ba_sics" on Instagram. She is petite and probably a lot younger than me ! (42!) But I like how she dresses and a lot of what she wears I wouldn't feel like I'm to old for ( apart from the occasional crop top which tbh I've never worn even as a teenager and in my 20s) maybe take a look at her account. I love wearing comfy clothes who wants to be tottering about in heels and fussy dresses when your messing with a double buggy! But it's choosing nice shapes,

@TooExtraImmatureCheddar

Depends on your budget. If you can afford more expensive stuff then avoid ASOS like the plague. Apart from the jeans, which I do rate.

I am crying at Toteme - £300 for a cotton polyamide mix ribbed top! Fuck me. And it’s all a bit drab and grown up. (I’m 37). I need something nicer than ASOS but in the remotely affordable bracket. At the moment I’m mainly shopping in & Other Stories, Zara and Oliver Bonas. OB is a little bit too Boden, though - you have to pick and choose carefully. Any further recommendations? I can afford maybe a little bit more than & Other Stories but not loads more.

Any recommendations for inspiration that aren’t aimed at late 40s?

Yeah, on reflection, I'm getting my Toteme tops at a very reduced price in Asia (overstock I suppose). I wouldn't pay more than 20 quid for them!

It is depressing to spend £250 and feel like you’ve got nothing. “I could get 3 party dresses for that!” But you’ll wear those jeans 4 times a week. So it is a different mindset.

@FreeButtonBee yes very true, if I wear them a lot, then they will prove a good purchase.

I don't know what to wear with them though. High waisted pretty much means tuck in the top right? Maybe the Holland Cooper long sleeve tops with the three gold buttons on the sleeves?

Also, what can I move onto as boots that are as comfy (and warm?) as Uggs? Without looking like Uggs. Today's mantra is chanting "Thou shalt not wear Uggs any more. Thou art not on Towie nor 25"

I think untucked tops, even with highwaisted, looks more modern now.

If it was ever boot weather where I lived, I'd wear Chelsea boots.

Blundstone boots? I’ve just got a pair and plan to wear them to death this winter

This happened to me too and I made many a mistake trying to find my new look - tried to turn myself into something I'm not and then really lost myself.
So just go cautiously.
What I do now is wear "young" clothes with classics to dilute their effect.
So today I have trainers, black faux leather leggings (young) with a draped stretchy cowl long sleeve top and tailored blazer (classic). You can wear blazers with big boobs just never double breasted and size down so the blazer falls tightly at the sides so the boobs aren't covered but just skimmed.
If I wore a more youthful top (cowl vest for example or off the shoulder), I would wear with tailored high waist trousers.
So don't completely move away from your previous style - you won't recognise yourself - I, for example, would never wear a floaty floral midi dress that everyone seems to be wearing - just not my style. But, a solid colour midi tube dress with trainers, cross body bag and blazer - yes. I'm 49 so a lot further down the road than you but I wouldn't be seen dead in Hobbs

@Imatwinmum

I’m 30, had twins a few months ago and honestly this pregnancy has ruined my looks.

I need new clothes too but I don’t want to buy my current size, but don’t know how to lose weight either.

Just wanted to say give yourself some time it was only after my first daughter was about one that I really lost the weight and stopped looking like I'd woken up in a hedge. You are really in the thick of it especially with twins! The weight will start to come off and you will feel more yourself soon.

We’re all different, but I loathe River Island. I know what you mean about Zara, but I do like their denim and they have jumpers with the same wool blends as the posher shops but for a third of the price. I agree with you entirely on H&M - have never found anything in there worth wading through the polyester crap for.

@MaryLennoxsScowl where do you shop? For casual stuff...

Zara, And Other Stories, Monki (watch out for acrylic there), Urban Outfitters (occasionally), Weekday, Cos (when I can afford it), Toast (only in sales), Whistles, Mango. My work is very casual but stylish (arts), and like everyone else there I wear jeans (barrel, wide-leg, straight, skinny, flared), trainers (currently Veja but eyeing up Converse high-tops), knitwear (aim for min 30% wool or they fall apart), blazers, t-shirts, boilersuits, knitted jumper dresses, silky shirts, biker boots or flat chunky Chelsea boots. Not sure how much of that you’d like though! I’ve got my eye on some tweed miniskirts (haven’t seen one in real life yet that I like but have seen in magazines) to be worn with T-shirt and chunky cardigan. I’m 38.

A meeting at my work in winter looks like a Scandi noir film with the big chunky knitwear and 90s hair.

Firstly I'd have a quick look at some fashion blogs, finding a few whose style you like. Buy a few magazines to flick through, see what you like and what you don't.

It can seem an incredible effort to update yourself but it isn't too bad once you get going.

Give away everything that no longer fits or you will no longer wear. If it ever fits again you'd want new clothes anyway.

Think of what you need clothes for - work, home, going out. Get a mix and match capsule wardrobe together of a few items of clothing and a couple of new pairs of shoes. A couple of items of costume jewellery- accessories can make all the difference. Have a good haircut (this could be combined with going through magazines). Then build it gradually from there, when you buy something else think about what else you have that will go with it.

Generally I keep my clothes down to one double wardrobe, four drawers and about 12 pairs of shoes and boots. Every six months I put the unseasonal stuff in the loft and have a good look at everything to see if I'm going to keep wearing it or if it should go, at the same time.

@AnaViaSalamanca @MaryLennoxsScowl

I love both of your descriptions of what you wear. Could you give us some ideas with links to stuff you've bought recently?

I totally agree with everything that is being said. In my 30's and lockdown + children + weight gain has ruined my style. Have no idea what to wear and hate everything in my wardrobe, but don't want to buy anything until I lose weight. The eternal struggle!

Okay, here are some things I don’t own but have been eyeing up:
Dress: www.whistles.com/product/collar-midi-knit-dress-33580.html#cgid=Dresses_Clothing_WW&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=collar-midi-knit-dress-33580&pos=16
Cardigan: www.whistles.com/product/ribbed-pocket-cardigan-33617.html#cgid=Knitwear_Clothing_WW&is=false&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=ribbed-pocket-cardigan-33617&pos=9
Jumper: www.whistles.com/product/stripe-ribbed-crew-neck-jumper-33615.html#cgid=Knitwear_Clothing_WW&is=false&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=stripe-ribbed-crew-neck-jumper-33615&pos=14
Blazer: www.zara.com/uk/en/check-linen-blend-blazer-p02761058.html?v1=108971494&v2=1882227&page=2
Trousers: www.zara.com/uk/en/darted-trousers---limited-edition-p09102023.html?v1=139867134&v2=1882848
Jeans: www.zara.com/uk/en/z1975-high-rise-slim-flare-jeans-p06164170.html?v1=139867704&v2=1882892
More jeans: www.zara.com/uk/en/wide-leg-jeans-p06688224.html?v1=108927538&v2=1882892
Jumpsuit: www.toa.st/collections/womens-jumpsuits/products/garment-dyed-linen-jumpsuit-bottle-green
www.toa.st/collections/womens-knitwear/products/graphic-yoke-wool-sweater-cinnamon-navy
www.toa.st/collections/womens-knitwear/products/fisherman-rib-donegal-wool-sweater-forest
www.stories.com/en_gbp/clothing/knitwear/cardigans/product.gold-button-cardigan-pink.1002673002.html
www.stories.com/en_gbp/clothing/knitwear/sweaters/product.oversized-bat-wing-knit-jumper-black.0947904002.html

Entirely artificial so breaking my advice to look for wool, but very Nordic: www.zara.com/uk/en/jacquard-knit-sweater-with-pompoms-p05802124.html?v1=118768187&v2=1882810
Cashmere: www.zara.com/uk/en/cashmere-and-wool-sweater-p06771117.html?v1=139742993&v2=1882810
Contains some wool: www.zara.com/uk/en/alpaca-wool-sweater-p09598129.html?v1=111505170

Less wool: www.zara.com/uk/en/purl-knit-cardigan-p09598143.html?v1=139644495

Well I've added Vince and Raey to my "maybe secondhand or if I can get a sale price" wishlist.

Love a lot of your choices @MaryLennoxsScowl, I just bought that Whistles striped jumper and like it a lot.