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Style and beauty

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Original poster

Best way of hair removal for a 9 year old?

86 replies

KidsAreMean · 04/09/2021 15:15

Bit reluctant to let her loose with my razor, I massacre my own legs enough as it is! Plus she doesn't like that my hair grows back spiky and she knows that's because I shave. If I use the epilator, half grows back under the skin, so reluctant to suggest that also because of the pain (and that it takes hours). Is waxing different to epilating? I've never tried.

Boy in her class has been making fun of her for having hairy legs. She hasn't asked yet to get rid, and shrugged him off, but was a bit bothered when she told me. I think I should prepare myself so I have everything if she decides she wants to. She doesn't have any signs of puberty yet. I have to shave every other day to keep my hair under control, 9 seems very early to have to start worrying about this.

OP posts:

GintyMcGinty · 04/09/2021 21:06

@agedmother

Of course she's perfect how she is. She shouldn't have to change herself in response to other people's misogynism. Don't do anything that reinforces the idea that her natural self is in some way repellent or unacceptable.

1000% agree

teachermummyme · 04/09/2021 21:11

I agree that it would be sad if she wanted to change her appearance because of this.

That said, even if she doesn't ask to start removing her leg hair now, it will probably happen in the next few years. When I wanted to shave my legs around age 11/12 my mum got me something called Silky Mits, which are essentially like very gentle sandpaper for legs! You rub in a circular motion and it rubs away the hair. It's a gentle introduction to hair removal, I think. I'm not sure if they make them anymore but with a Google search I saw lots of mentions of hair removal mitts so I'm sure you'll find something similar.

Cloudmtb · 04/09/2021 21:17

I’m so sorry your daughter experienced this. Others have better advice / experience in hair removal but I just wanted to add that it’s the boy that needs to change not your wonderful daughter. I hope the school take it seriously.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 04/09/2021 21:31

I got my DD hair removal cream and it was a complete disaster. I hadn't banked on the strength of new hair! I shaved her legs for her but she wanted to look after her leg hair herself so I bought her a lady shave - she really likes it. No ingrown hairs. I'll let her get them lasered when she's older (she's very very dark!)) there's no point now as I'm told at this young age it's more likely to come back.

Original poster

KidsAreMean · 04/09/2021 21:43

Actually I'm now debating whether I should
Stand up in the parents evening and say something (what I'd planned)
Or
Speak to the teacher beforehand and ask her to raise it.

OP posts:

excelledyourself · 04/09/2021 21:45

Is she very dark? I'm a little shocked that a 9 year old boy even notices the body hair of someone else to the point where he is repeatedly commenting on it.

Dragonpox · 04/09/2021 21:46

My mum banned me from removing hair and chastised me when she found I'd sneaked my dad's razor to use (after I'd been bullied for weeks at school). It did nothing to help my feminist stance and just made my life miserable. I won't do that to dd.

My DD will likely have hair like mine, which is wiry and thick and hair removal cream doesn't touch it, it only weakens it so shaving is easier - and I've even tried the ones for men and thicker hair.

I think I'll be going ladyshave and then Lumea with her. It's more about appearance rather than smoothness so the ladyshave should be fine and the least dangerous/painful/tricky method.

Summergarden · 04/09/2021 21:57

Oh gosh, I have a 9 year old DD too and it seems way too young for them to think about. She hasn’t mentioned it but if she did I’d discourage shaving until she starts high school.

I’d definitely speak to the teacher. These boys need speaking to, it’s not ok for them to make these types of personal comments either to your DD or to the other girl they called fat. It should be those boys that make the change rather than the girls they are upsetting.

Motherofalittledragon · 04/09/2021 22:31

She should tell the bullying little sod to bugger off. She shouldn't have to change who she is for anyone.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 04/09/2021 22:40

@excelledyourself my DD is very very dark... she had very visible hair at 9 but only asked to do something about it when she was 10.

@Dragonpox I totally agree with you - I'd never ban my DD from removing her hair, regardless of how old she is.

thinkfast · 04/09/2021 23:16

This boy's behaviour needs to be reported to the school ASAP. Why wait until parents evening? Why is he commenting on your daughter's legs?? A teacher needs to explain to him how totally inappropriate this is!

daysofmuffins · 04/09/2021 23:20

OP do NOT use Lumea or other similar IPL device. I got very ill when I used an IPL device and was left with all sorts of nasty side effects, some permanent, I can only imagine what using it on a kid might do. Kids are hypersensitive vs adults. I appreciate that I may have had a freak reaction but if you search online there are plenty of others who have also been made very ill from such devices, so please do not even start to consider using on a child.

daysofmuffins · 04/09/2021 23:22

@agedmother completely agree with this.

daysofmuffins · 04/09/2021 23:24

@Dragonpox @lanbro please see my comment about lumea and other IPL devices above, I do not believe this is in any way suitable for a child.

Biscusting · 04/09/2021 23:26

Oh what if the boy should comment she is fat? Or her hair colour isn’t nice?

newnameswhothis · 05/09/2021 00:08

@cheeseismydownfall

I think forcing a 9 year old girl who is being teased into taking a feminist stance on (not removing) leg hair would be utterly awful parenting (and I say that as a feminist).

Of course it is disgusting that women and girls are shamed for their body hair. And yes, absolutely, it should be addressed with the school, and yes, absolutely, there should be an age-appropriate conversation about how the DD shouldn't feel she has to change anything about herself to please anyone other than herself.

But if the DD still wants to remove her leg hair, then denying her the bodily autonomy do make this decision because as a parent you disagree would be unbelievably cruel.

This with bells on

I was an 11 year old who use to stay with my Aunty who left and unguarded razor around the bath.

Every fortnight when I slept over everything from moustache down would be whipped off with a second hand dull razor and there was defiantly no shaving foam. If my mum would have listened to me there would have been much more hygienic, better performing ways to do this.

OtherPlans · 05/09/2021 00:58

@dayaofmuffins may I ask what kinds of issues you've had? I was poised to get one but have a family history with various risk factors.

Time40 · 05/09/2021 01:35

Boy in her class has been making fun of her for having hairy legs. She hasn't asked yet to get rid, and shrugged him off, but was a bit bothered when she told me

She's NINE YEARS OLD and there are three pages of advice about hair removal! That's absolutely bloody bonkers! No young child should have to be bothered with this rubbish. Tell your DD to continue to "shrug him off" - or even, just to ignore him - or to tell him to shut up because he's being rude - and raise it with the school.

Original poster

KidsAreMean · 05/09/2021 06:40

Is she very dark? I'm a little shocked that a 9 year old boy even notices the body hair of someone else to the point where he is repeatedly commenting on it.
Yes, that was my first reaction too! Can't believe a) people are commenting and b) it was a boy rather than a girl. I don't even think he has older sisters which would kind of explain at least thinking about it. She has recently moved up sports groups to the 9-16 year olds and I was expecting to have to deal with it at some point over the next couple of years, but not expecting it from a boy at school.

DD is generally pale with light brown coloured hair. At the moment she is tanned and her hair goes blonde in the sun. I just had a sneaky look and they are barely visible unlike mine (pale skin, dark brown hair). However, she does have lots of hairs.

Of course she shouldn't have to do anything about them, but if it bothers her then she can. And I want to know how best to help her.

OP posts:

StarshipsAreMeantToFly · 05/09/2021 06:46

Speak to the teacher ASAP. They need to try and put a stop to it.

StarshipsAreMeantToFly · 05/09/2021 06:47

Oh and if she does use the hair removal cream test a small area first.
My skin was REALLY sensitive to it when I was younger.

peppapigfangirl · 05/09/2021 06:53

9 is surely far too early for this. Can't you teach her to be confident in her body and to ignore horrible boys (who will turn into men) who have a view on her body and how it should or shouldn't look rather than teaching her to remove her body hair in reaction to them? It's a really important lesson to learn.

Original poster

KidsAreMean · 05/09/2021 07:28

Slightly at a tangent, I've seen the new epilators are wet/dry ones. Mine must be at least 10 years old and overheats by the time I've done half a leg! Does it make a difference epilating in water?

OP posts:

OverTheRubicon · 05/09/2021 07:37

At 9, you'll also have a big influence, and seeing you shaving the moment you have visible hair sends its own message about female body hair being unacceptable.

Have you ever considered letting your legs be hairy a bit longer between shaves to let her know that you don't think it's so bad either, or talked about this?

Of course agree that the boy needs to be talked to, and that if she wants, then let her do it with some supervision - and you also shouldn't have to go hairy long term just to prove a point.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/09/2021 07:59

I know everyone with their advice on hair removal is trying to help, and was in fact the question, but it isn't this all so very very wrong?

Child being bullied at school due to element of appearance. Solution - change appearance.

That's wrong on every level isn't it? (Not saying it's not what I would do if it were my child, but it's completely the wrong thing to do. What message does it send?

Interestingly- it was exactly the same dynamic in both my dds primary school - girls being bullied by boys for hairy legs/weight.

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