what would make you say "You are not going out in that"?

[MeiganMcSeinna6]

to your children

i would say

too much makeup

@MuchTooTired 😂 this is adorable, I can’t wait!

Went to a wedding this month. Oh dear, some, lots of the outfits were skimped. Some at least 3 sizes too small with every bump on display while the owner pulls the dress down. It was disrespectful.
These ‘ladies’ were not youngsters in their teens. I’m guessing in their 40 or 30’s It did make me feel old. It was a time when someone close to then should have asked your question.
I’m wondering what they were thinking or seeing when looking in the mirror. It was comical and sad too.

Neither of my two are into silly trends at the moment but if they started wearing clothes that make underwear look generous I'd put my foot down about them wearing that out.

In reality though it's most likely to be weather related i.e. not wearing a hoody in 30 degree heat, actually wearing a coat in the winter (why are kids so contrary?!)

Honestly, that phrase is a constant in our house. I also complain very loudly in shops that clothing is more expense the less material it is made from.

Mine are younger but …
I saw a girl today (approx 13/14) in a very very short, very tight, very ‘minimal’ dress walking in front of me. If she was my daughter, I’d have told her the dress didn’t suit her. It was too tight to be a beach dress and was like a dress worn by the contestants on Love Island but the girl was so young, it was inappropriate.

This week, I said that to DD2 because she had worn the same the day before and it was covered in stains that I'm not sure how she thought she should go out like that.

I used to repeatedly tell DS2 he can't go out unless he puts trousers on the fit him and by fit, I mean he can jump up and down and no one sees his underwear/have them fall down (we had a bit where he would pull his siblings' old clothes out to wear even when they didn't fit him. Now I store any hand-me-down clothes out of his reach.)

So yeah, my main 'you have to get change' involve them being dirty and if I can see their underwear. I have made a child add additional layer for underwear lines & similar mostly because I know that previous comments on that by others caused upset though it's been a learning process on clothes to figure out what will and won't be an issue.

Makeup I'm not bothered by, but the only makeup my kids own was either given to them as gifts by others or bought with their own pocket money which may be part of why they're so careful with it and only use it with friends rather than to go out.

I did this once, and got a huge tirade about victim shaming, and how wearing a short skirt doesn't make men rape women etc.

The outfit in question was a baby-doll outfit, with massive S&M platform heels. She was 14 and looked about 12. I just thought the idea of her heading out alone wearing it was terrifying.

However, her response was heartbreaking - that we'd ruined all her confidence, and that it was a very popular style etc. She did look beautiful in a Bratz doll kind of way.

I pick my battles very carefully these days.

"My DD has an amazing figure so I let her wear what she wants..."

What a disgusting sentiment.

DD 5 rarely wears pants if she can avoid it. I occasionally have to put my foot down.

@Dnaltocs

Went to a wedding this month. Oh dear, some, lots of the outfits were skimped. Some at least 3 sizes too small with every bump on display while the owner pulls the dress down. It was disrespectful. These ‘ladies’ were not youngsters in their teens. I’m guessing in their 40 or 30’s It did make me feel old. It was a time when someone close to then should have asked your question. I’m wondering what they were thinking or seeing when looking in the mirror. It was comical and sad too.

How judgemental. Very unpleasant tone. I hope they felt great in their bump revealing outfits. Kindness doesn’t hurt.

I saw a teen yesterday in a flesh toned bra top and hot pants, she looked amazing but literally everything was on display. She had a boy with her but did look self conscious. It really was an indoor outfit and I did wonder if her mum knew she was in town literally in her undies.

You can look nice in very short shorts but bum cheeks hanging out doesn’t look great especially if their tugging it down all the time. You’ve got to own it.

Not necessary here. DD doesn't like to attract attention or stand out in a crowd, so she always wears baggy trousers/jeans, a little crop top and an oversized man's shirt.

She hates dressing up and wearing girly clothes as she just feels like she is wearing fancy dress.

Inappropriate for the weather. Inappropriate for an occasion with a dress code. Unsuitable/unsafe for activity (eg heels for a hike). Expensive, delicate clothes for an activity where clothes are likely to be stained or damaged..

@SparkyBlue

Eight year old DD hates brushing her hair. It's the current battle so that's the only thing. I don't want her head looking like a birds nest

@SparkyBlue

Does she have fine hair? I have found this brush a complete game changer for fine hair (none of the other fine hair or detanglers worked, but this one is brilliant. When it arrived in the Tesco delivery I thought it was going to be crap because it doesn't feel very strong, but it's amazing. I now have a couple of 'spares' in case they stop making it.

@AlmostSummer21 thanks I will try that but no not fine hair at all but an amazing head of thick wavy curls. Hard to describe but the type of hair people spend a fortune on blowdrys to get .

As a teen I liked unusual chunky jewellery. My parents just used to laugh. It didn't deter me, but was fairly mortifying

I drew the line at my then 5/6 year old youngest son taking his entire collection of character weapons to one of the Hobbit films....costume was enough Other than that, my three haven't been too bad apart from the odd time DS has insisted that something still fits him (like skin tight school trousers which are clearly too small but he liked them) and I've said he's needed a bigger size.

Underboob/buttcheeks on show

Dirty clothes

I tried to annoy my mum with my make up but she just commented "Oh I like the way you did your eyes". Bummer!

Should have said I was 14 at the time!

When brushing long hair, always start at the very bottom and work your way up gradually.

@Hungry675tf

Crop tops in young DC. Not that mine own them, but I really don't like sexualised clothing on children and consider crop tops in this bracket.

Anything noticeably dirty.

This. My 6yo wants a sporty crop top to wear out but I've said no. I told her it's because she needs to be more protected from the sun but really it's because I don't like her looking so sexualised so young.

@Droidian

Only if it were dirty. Too much makeup/no jeans with grandparents - good God, are we in the 1950's!

With makeup, if it's cakey and unflattering you'd probably want someone to tell you. Also, age might be a problem with younger teens wearing it

And you need to dress for the occasion.

Fortunately with my DD1 who dresses like Katherine Hepburn in a NY Winter, I have to remind her that we live in a tropical environment and she might just die…. She looks amazing, but not practical. (Also has ASD, and no idea whatsoever what she wants to project or which audience she wishes to appeal to. Convincing her to check the weather report is that Bridge too Far.)

Just dirt or holes in things which don't have deliberate holes by any stretch of the imagination (jogging trousers or t shirts - or when dc3 was under 8 holes and frayed edges from chewing sleeves and necklines!). Applies more to under 10s than teens!

My teens prefer sportswear and jeans, not revealing clothing anyway, and DD wears very little make-up and that infrequently.I don't think I'd say "you're not going out in that" about revealing clothing but might point out how revealing it was if I thought they hadn't twigged quite how much was exposed from the back/ sitting down or whatever!