How do I ask for this at the hairdresser?

[spacecadet]

I came to the conclusion that my thick, unruly hair could never be short again and set about growing it about 6 months ago. It's now way past my shoulders but because it has no shape it just hangs like a heavy curtain. The problem is the last 8 times I've been to the hairdresser I've hated what they have done - usually they've cut off the ends and insisted on trimming the layers that have been a problem since they were cut in, essentially making the problem worse every time. Added to this I've had a nightmare with my fringe. Trying to grow it out, I got so fed up with feeling so ugly that I took the scissors to it myself. This latest time I sort of razored it using just the blade and I've realised this is what I need all through my hair - to thin it- but I don't know how to ask for this. So my question is, what do I ask for at the hairdressers to get them to only take the weight out and not trim the layers that I want to grow because they are already too short? And how do I get them to fix my fringe but following the line that I've cut in? I absolutely do not want any more hair added to the fringe. Essentially, where do I go to get a haircut that doesn't tick the usual boxes of taking an inch off all over, cutting the fringe in exactly the same way and a curly blowdry that seem to be unavoidable any time I go to the hairdresser?? Would appreciate any suggestions/advice!

I’ve just had a haircut after two years! It was half way down my back and now just a tad below my shoulders. It’s thick and frizzy and I said to the stylist I would like a cut that looks good straightened and natural. If you glance at it it looks all the same length but the front bits are actually a little bit longer (deliberate) and he thinned the underside of my hair. I also have a longish curtain fringe. The heaviness is gone but without having layers put in.

Just say it like you’ve said it above - seems pretty clear to me. If the hairdresser isn’t giving you what yo’re asking for perhaps you need to find a better hairdresser.

I'd search for a recommendation from local curlies- Facebook groups can be good for this - or even ask local people with wavy /curly hair where they get their hair cut.

It sounds like you want someone who is good at razor cuts / slicing / slide cuts, so you could also ask about that locally. If you haven't gone down the curly rabbit hole yet, Instagram, pinterest etc are full of tips on caring for curly hair.

Good luck!

What kind of thinning did you get Coffee4queen?

That's really helpful Queenofthenight. I've never heard of sliding as a hairdressing term before!

I do need to find a different hairdresser and I'm prepared to pay a lot for the result I want - I just don't know how to get beyond all the bluster to find a really good cutter.

I had a similar problem when I wanted to get my mid length hair cut into a pixie cut. No bugger would do it! They just talked me out of it even though I wasn't actually talked out of it at all. It happened about four times at different places.

Eventually I booked in a city centre (not ridiculously expensive or anything, just busy) on a Saturday. I dressed up and pretended I had a job (was a SAHM at the time) and no kids. I'm not saying it was a good solution but it worked.

My dc have curly hair and they go to a curly hair hairdresser. Makes such a difference.

I think the answer here is to go to the best hairdresser you can afford. If you talk to a good hairdresser they will look at your hair and will understand what you are saying.

Channel cut

Mdh2020 - That's what I want but I don't know how to find a really good hairdresser. I'm based in the North and am wondering if I need to make a special trip to London to get a better result. I don't like reaching that conclusion but given I've been to a lot of the big salons in my area and not had a better experience, I now want to try something else. It's got to the point where how I feel about my hair is now affecting my daily life - stopping me going for a promotion at work, from socialising, from going on dates- everything. I really need something to change here.

Go to hairdresser and have a consultation with them before you let them anywhere near you with a pair of scissors.

The thing is with long, thick hair is that with no layers, you will have a triangle hair do. Layers will give your hair shape, but it sounds like the layers make your hair too bouncy?

It sounds like you need longer layers (only the last inch or so is layered) rather than short layers.

My hair is naturally curly. I keep it chin length, with long layers. This is the only style that works straightened and curled for me now.

Channel cut is also new to me Strawberrypuff

Also point cutting

Sound like you are looking g for a blunt cut with channel cutting to thin the ends.

Can you go to Pintrest and save some pics of what you want ?
Take that to the hairdresser , rather than assume you have to travel to London
Get some local recommendations
People you may work with or know personally
I've even stopped a lady in the street and asked her who cut her hair it was so nice ..
Unfortunately it was her sister .. who was on mat leave 😩

Thanks for all the great advice. Knowing the actual terms to use when I talk to the hairdresser is going to be a big help 😊. The more I watch videos about razoring (sometimes referred to as sliding I think?), the more I'm convinced that's what going to tame my barnet. Just need to find somewhere that knows what I'm talking about 😂😂

@spacecadet he sectioned about half my hair and tied the top half so was only working with the bottom under side half. He took small ribbons of hair held them at angle and razored downwards if that makes sense.

Well, the cut happened at a fancy place where the hairdresser even had his name across the door and...it's terrible!

The fringe is ruined. Even after I explained I wanted no extra hair in the fringe and to maintain the same shape he started drying it in a middle parting to the side and snipping in 70s flicks which completely altered the shape. This is not the first time this has happened to me.

The haircut itself is a mullety mess. The 'length' was left only at the back while the sides were layered to a very unflattering below chin length. The alarm bells really started ringing when he sort of slid the scissors down both sides of the back bit to create a sort of point. In short, this haircut has undone six months of patiently trying to grow my hair long and has made me feel so awful that I'm turning down every social invitation I've been offered. It's going to take 3 months at least to grow any length back into the front and because of the fringe flicks I'm almost back to square one. I can't do this anymore! I just can't have my haircut ruin my life every time but I can't see a way to stop this happening 😭

Oh no OP. We have recently moved and I had my haircut locally, recommended to me, after having the same hairdresser for years where we lived before, bloody disaster. My hair now needs cutting again, but dreading trying another salon. If I could return to my old hairdresser I would (over a 6hr round trip) so sorry that you have had a bad haircut, it makes you feel so bad I know.

Thanks Roselilly36. I sometimes wonder if a sort of Uber app for hair might be the answer where you could get bona fide reviews and limit your search to say thick hair only or fringe specialist 🙂 Surprised no one has tried it yet!

Sorry your hair hasn't worked out as you had hoped.

I was once advised by a hairdresser to always try to find a hairdresser with similar hair to yourself particularly if you have tricky hair.
They will be the only ones who would know how best to deal with it.

It sounds like you want panelling. I think that's what it's called. They cut shorter panels in layers under the top layer.

I have really thick hair and had this done but although it looked really good, I didn't like the feel of it - I couldn't get used to the feel of it feeling so much thinner with so much weight out of it.

My hairdresser told me that pannelling hits it's peak 'best' look if you have a panel cut and then when you are ready for your next haircut you have your usual cut. This was true.

I had it done at Vidal Sassoon who are expert at cutting - it's their 'thing'.

@spacecadet
Go to a bloody nice salon and get the head hairdresser to give you a half hour consultant. You won't be sorry. Yes, it may cost more, but totally worth it

I have had my hair up in a bun for over a year because of a bad haircut! It’s even growing wrong, and I’m half afraid to get it cut again, so I understand what you are going through!

Any chance you would post a photo? You can delete out your face, or could you post a photo of hair similar to yours right now just so we could get an idea?

I think an inverted bob is the best cut for my thick unruly hair, but your thick unruly hair could be totally different?

I've tried uploading a photo but it won't let me - am I doing something wrong? Interesting about panelling as that's another term I've never heard of. I think the problem with relying on a verbal description is that it's so open to interpretation. For example, keep the length to me does not mean keeping the back bits long and going as short as you like everywhere else. But how do you get that across to the hairdresser who's already started cutting into your hair??

Are you near Leeds? There is a hairdresser called The Curl Clinic she treats and cuts and knows what she is doing

I think you are right, you might need to bring a photo of what you want and hand it to them.

Regarding uploading a photo here, just write one word in your post, put some text in, anything even just a full stop, then there is a paper clip symbol, if you click that and select a photo from your own photo library, that should work.