Feeling frumpy with no idea what to wear age 46

[Lotsachocolateplease]

Just as the title says, I’m 46 and am a bit lost with what to wear. Some of my clothes I’ve had for 15+ years!! Today for a family garden party I wore a red and white knee length skirt with a white top. The skirt is 12 yrs old. There were women in their 20’s with lovely dresses on and women in their 60’s and 80’s in jumpsuits. I felt frumpy and a bit lost! So what do you ladies of a similar age wear to
A- a family occasion
B- out to dinner
C- day to day when not working.
Please help!!!

Could you swap the knee length skirt(s?) for midi length? That would look a bit more modern. Also, did you get any style inspiration from anyone whose outfit you particularly liked - anyone whose dress or jumpsuit looked like something you would enjoy wearing yourself? It sounds as if you just need a wardrobe refresh.

Firstly I don't like being addressed as 'you ladies'.

Secondly, it doesn't matter what I would wear on any of those occasions - middle aged women are allowed to retain their individual tastes and preferences.

What are the reasons for the clothes you have? (And I'm assuming they're not all 12 years old?) Frugality? Martyr tendencies? Controlling partner? Never bothered with clothes?

What's your lifestyle? Dress size? Budget? Do you rely on a defunct High St or are you a(n otherwise) proficient online shopper? Which shops are you most likely to use? Are you prepared to step out of your comfort zone?

FWIW I'm closer to 60 than 40, and a keen and experimental dresser. I like jumpsuits on other people but never wear them myself - because I cannot tolerate the possibility that even one person's first reaction, on seeing me, might be to wonder how I manage to go to the loo ...

I'm 46. I would wear jeans to all those events, I would not wear a dress and I would never wear a jumpsuit, they look good on others but totally not my thing. One of the perks of being 46 is that I don't give a toss what I 'should' wear.

Do you know anyone / of anyone with a similar shape you on that you can get some inspiration from?
If not then Instagram is a good place to start, hashtag fashion over 40 etc

@Edmontine

You're also being a bit mean in your tone

Have you got a friend you admire style wise? It doesn't matter if they're the same as you but if they've got a good eye they might go shopping ( online is fun too!) with you and help you work out what style / shape / colours flatter you. Also bear in mind your personality, big loud prints are fab but if you're shy they're not going to work.

I think you need to go shopping (maybe with a friend) for a bit of inspiration. Try on some new stuff.
I like shopping alone but always end up sending photos from the changing rooms for advice!

You need a declutter a and shopping trip op!!

This happened to me when I met my husband 6 years ago and I stopped shopping. LIt wasn't a conscious decision either but constantly frustrated by looking dull and frumpy. This year I had a huge over haul sold all my old stuff on vinted and bought new- it was an investment but I feel so good now. It stated in December with two outfits from Asda!

I reckon clothes have around a 5 year life span before the either don't fit due to body shape changes /wear out / or become out of fashion as shapes waistbands and hemlines constantly evolve.

In the summer I wear midi skirts with tops, dresses and culottes. I don't have a specific outfit in mind for each event you specifiy as most of my clothes (I have a small capsule tho wardrobe thanks to minimal mom on you tube) I would wear to all of the above occasions dependant the location, on the weather and what I feel like. I'm intrigued as to the family occasion as a 60th birthday would be different to a Christening.

Yesterday I wore floral culottes and a white vest top top to a bbq. I recently bought a 'nice dress' for slightly more special occasions (posh meal out) but it would have been far too hot to have worn it yesterday.

My favourite outfit at the moment is a ruffle split wrap skirt in a kind of animal print with a fitted black lettuce edged t shirt. I'm size 16 5'6 and 41. I shop in my rubbish town at Tesco Matalan Asda new look primark m and s and next- hm and to maxx if I go to the city. I get Inspo from Facebook groups and Instagram

For summer days when I'm at home I wear denim next boy shorts or some high waisted paper ones.

Oh and love my denim jacket and palmiera sandals and birkies. I add a skinny belt to skirt out fits.

Go and buy a couple of whole outfits (avoid the sale rail) a pair of shoes, belt and coat and you will be half way there! (Budget allowing of course but you don't have to spend a lot)

Odd chippy responses there from some.

I follow a few style people on Instagram then copy them basically! At the moment floral dresses with converse feel easy and good to wear, I shop at Nobidys child, cos, warehouse and independents like kemi Telford
You might be more classic so maybe have a look through Instagram for people you think look good.
There’s a Parisian style thread on here with some excellent posters that I get lost in. They are fab!

Oh meant to say I’m in my 40s too

@Edmontine what on earth??

@Edmontine

Firstly I don't like being addressed as 'you ladies'.

Secondly, it doesn't matter what I would wear on any of those occasions - middle aged women are allowed to retain their individual tastes and preferences.

What are the reasons for the clothes you have? (And I'm assuming they're not all 12 years old?) Frugality? Martyr tendencies? Controlling partner? Never bothered with clothes?

What's your lifestyle? Dress size? Budget? Do you rely on a defunct High St or are you a(n otherwise) proficient online shopper? Which shops are you most likely to use? Are you prepared to step out of your comfort zone?

FWIW I'm closer to 60 than 40, and a keen and experimental dresser. I like jumpsuits on other people but never wear them myself - because I cannot tolerate the possibility that even one person's first reaction, on seeing me, might be to wonder how I manage to go to the loo ...

Bizarre.

Someone’s had a shandy

I'm late 40s ish and I don't do skirts or dresses. Generally day-to-day I live in jeans. For tops I have a dozen or so gathered from various retailers including Sea Salt, Next, White Stuff and M&S hunting out the non-floral fabric prints. If a family occasion or posh dinner is too formal for jeans I will substitute a pair of chino type trousers in green or red or a pair of beige linen trousers in day time or black velvet trousers in the evening.

@Edmontine chill out. You sound like a teacher asking why a child hasn't don't their homework.

@Edmontine you realise the style and beauty section is for asking about style and beauty?

OP, I feel you, and if your whole wardrobe feels out of date it can be really hard to know where to start. I think someone above who said about midi length skirts has it - the basics of what you wear doesn't need to change, just the cut of things will have changed in the last decade. You say you wore a top, but depending on what kind of top it was it's hard to picture too!

I think the best way to do it is not to go too far from what you already wear, just updated versions of them. If you're not a flowery dress person then you don't need to become one!

I'm 37 and having a jeans crisis so avoiding those at the moment. I'm living in midi skirts and dresses, trainers or Birkenstocks. Waistline is different to ten years ago - tops are baggier, tucked in, waistline sits high.

The best place I look for ideas is the news app on my phone - there are a few style bits thrown in and there's always some little list article about the things we're supposed to be buying/wearing. Read enough of those and you'll have a good idea of the kinds of shapes and silhouettes that are in fashion! And should be able to find something you like.

A- a family occasion
B- out to dinner
C- day to day when not working.

A- like a bbq? Probably a midi dress (bright plain / floral / animal pattern) with Stan smiths / flat sandals / espadrille wedges. Denim jacket if dress strappy for a cover up.

B - same! Although would probably wear a leather biker jacket or long blazer instead of denim jacket. Or else jeans and a nice top with heeled sandals / espadrille wedges, also biker or blazer.

C - Stan smith trainers/flat sandals, jeans/ denim shorts, tops, blazer or khaki jacket; or, sportswear - leggings/cropped leggings, Nike trainers, long vest and t shirt and hoody.

Hooded mac over and packaway padded jacket under the other jacket if the weather requires.

I don't wear a lot of skirts and tops because I'm a bit chubby round the middle. I would wear a jumpsuit, but probably mostly abroad as I don't like having to take half my clothes off and freezing to death when I need the loo. And I only have one I like at the moment.

There are loads of nice floaty dresses around at the moment. Maybe have a look online at Zara, H&M etc and order a couple. They are super comfortable and easy to wear.

I wax wear them to A, B and possibly C although I spend a lot of time in exercise leggings and T shirts when not working.

I think the beauty of dressing as you get older is you can just wear what suits you, what you like but be try to be flexible in your styling of it. We were going out to dinner last night and I'd bought an H & M oversized cream linen blazer to wear with straight leg cropped jeans, cream satin cami and cream and tan lace up leg mid heel shoes - put it all on and was just too hot and just didn't feel 'right'. I quickly changed to a high low patterned maxi with a black vest and little floaty black jacket. They were two totally different outfits, it can just sometimes depend how you feel on the day.

You need to find your style. It won’t take long and it’s fun to do so make a Pinterest board up and just start pinning. Search ‘style 2021’ or similar and make up a board with loads of outfits and photos that you like. Once you have loads of pics, go back through it for themes: are you choosing loads of bright colours? Feminine floral looks? Street wear? Try to build on this.

For shopping, start with a new pair of jeans maybe two. Modern cut no skinnies etc. I would wear jeans to A,B and C and if you have a good pair you can always make them rise to the ocassion.

At the moment I'm mostly wearing maxi dresses because it's so hot.

I usually wear boyfriend/mum jeans and a linen shirt with accessories. I avoid patterns, even though I love them. And throw over a slouchy jumper if it's cooler.
Palmaira sandals or Birkenstock's or Vejas take me most places, or a smart pair of boots in the winter.

My fashion conscious teens seem to approve, and are quick to let me know if I shouldn't buy something.

However this might not suit you. I never wear jumpsuits (I do wear wide leg trousers) but they might just be your thing?

I wear midi dresses to pretty much everything.
Sometimes midi skirts.
I know what suits, what drape and fabric flatters, and I go for plain colours so I can accessorise up or down.
If you go with plain colour basics that are comfortable to wear, you feel put together for anything other than the most glamorous/ formal occasion.

What about getting a Style analysis thing OP? There's loads around - Emily at Style me happy is lovely, but there's others too.

At the moment I tend to wear a midi skirt, saltwaters and a v or scoop neck t-shirt. Or a jumpsuit- I've got a nice Popsy one. Or a summer dress, Sainsbury's do a couple of lovely cotton ones each year. I rarely wear jeans because I just don't like them.

It depends what you're doing though - I spend my days haring around after small children so I'm rarely dressed 'up' às it were.

Oh gosh! Thank you so much for your replies - so much fab advice.
I think I am stuck in a rut and my wardrobe dues need an overhaul. I guess not having much disposable income over the past 10 years has stopped me buying new things. I tend to buy a new top to go with a skirt I already have.
However I love the skirt @Rina66 suggested so I’m going to have a look on that website.
Yesterday at the family ‘do’ the weather was too hot for jeans. But I do need to update my jeans as I confess to owing a few pairs of the skinnies!!
My go to shops are next, primark, and supermarkets. I tend not to really shop online for clothes as I’m worried it won’t fit and then I’ve got the hassle of sending stuff back.

I’m going to refresh my wardrobe!! I’m going to spend a bit of money on myself instead of the teens and I’m going to step out of my comfort zone a bit. Thank you mumsnet!