Feeling frumpy with no idea what to wear age 46

[Lotsachocolateplease]

Just as the title says, I’m 46 and am a bit lost with what to wear. Some of my clothes I’ve had for 15+ years!! Today for a family garden party I wore a red and white knee length skirt with a white top. The skirt is 12 yrs old. There were women in their 20’s with lovely dresses on and women in their 60’s and 80’s in jumpsuits. I felt frumpy and a bit lost! So what do you ladies of a similar age wear to
A- a family occasion
B- out to dinner
C- day to day when not working.
Please help!!!

Start by trying on as many clothes as possible, try on things you definitely wouldn't wear!! Slowly you will begin to learn what you like and what suits you. You need to try on lots of things I'm lots of shops over a few weeks!

Day to day I've been wearing denim shorts, slim cropped jeans or chinos with stripy linen shirt, floral blouse, plain t shirt. The bottoms are all m&s, tops are mango or h&m.

For a bbq I'd wear a checked dress - TU have some good ones.

Shoes for all of the above would be white plimsolls, birkenstocks or saltwater.

For something fancier, I'd wear a Boden amelie dress in navy because it's pretty classic and can be made to look smarter or more casual pretty easily.

Lots of great advice here for you OP.
Invest some time and effort into yourself and have fun with your style refresher. Be brave and experiment!

Hi OP I’m the same age as you and I like wearing pieces that are versatile so definitely lots of dresses (I like maxi or midi dresses) and I’ve also recently bought some cargo trousers which have been a nice change from my jeans. Have a look on Pinterest for some inspiration on styles you like, and I also look at SheerLuxe website which also has some interesting articles. Like others have said it sounds like you need a good wardrobe sort out and a few new pieces to refresh your style. Don’t forget jewellery too. Have fun! I always think summer is the best time to enjoy fashion.

Also wardrobe icons website is good for inspiration

I am 46 too. I never wear jeans, always dressed\tunic

I tend to stay away from through street shops

During lockdown i bought a good few bits from here versofashions.com

Follow them on instgram

@Edmontine
What a charmer you are!!

I would advise avoiding prints/florals by and large, and stick to plains. You will look more elegant/cool. Something happens in late 40's and 50's and the items you wore and looked good in, suddenly look 'frumpy' and 'mumsy'. I realise these are very subjective terms, but hopefully you will know what I mean. In my early 40's I could wear Fat Face/Seasalt etc. and look nice - now I look awful. Its like I need to wear younger clothes to look halfway decent.

Obviously, I know we can wear whatever the hell we like, but I know where you are coming from. Have a look at Fashion and Style Edit on YT. While she isn't exactly my style, she does have some useful ideas.

Give the supermarkets, Next, H&M etc a miss for the moment and check out other places. I know what you mean about shopping online! I like to feel the fabric and the texture etc, and it sounds like you need to try stuff on!
Could you go to a big shopping centre or a town with better shops? Have a look at John Lewis, there are nice ranges, I like Kiin.
Try out Reiss, Jigsaw, Hobbs, the White Company, Massimo Dutti, Toast.
Those shops are great at putting looks together and give you ideas. I've bought a lot from Toast and Jigsaw because the assistants are so helpful with advice. Plus - enjoy the experience!

I really like a jumpsuit in summer. Depending on how you accessorise, it can be a step up or down in terms of smartness from a dress, and slightly warmer as well (obviously not a concern right this minute). I have several, that work for various levels of smartness from flopping around the house through family visiting to going out for dinner.

I find the main thing that has made me put clothes aside as feeling dated this year has been skirt length- knee length or above, unless it’s a very plain tshirt style dress, feels wrong now.

I agree with a pp that certain shops sell mainly frumpy / mumsy stuff because its their shopper demographic - you're unlikely to see a twenty-something getting their clothes from Sainsburys! Am sure there are one or two un-frumpy styles, but not many. So give the supermarkets a miss, places like Joules / Boden / Fat Face / White Stuff / Jack Wills for anyone over 20 too - all aimed at mostly 40 somethings and you can spot their stuff a mile off. I think certain styles are always quite ageing too - tunics and leggings, knee length shorts, linen anything!

Do you have a good friend / relative / (god forbid) a savvy teenager that would give you good advice? Or even one of the personal shopper style services where they might take you out of your comfort zone?

But the answer your questions :
A- a family occasion - would probably wear a shirt dress / midi skirt (maybe pleated) & top / maybe wide leg trousers + top, denim jacket, probably wedges or Veja trainers
B- out to dinner - same as above, but a bit more "going out" style - so for me, maybe a bit more black / more tailored, blazer or leather biker jacket, heels (always heels :-)!) I do like a jumpsuit but you have to be careful as they're not all flattering.
C- day to day when not working - tailored joggers probably (Hush, Oasis, Warehouse) and top (Tshirt / blouse / slightly oversized jumper if needed), jeans, trainers.

I have a lot of clothes but probably half of them were bought preloved either from eBay / Depop or from local charity shops. I like quite minimalistic but trendy looks like Raey and The Row but I recreate them from preloved sources and the High Street. I don’t engage with every trend… I love longer length skirts / dresses but don’t like the huge sleeves or collars and like a more fitted waist. My most recent charity shop buy was a men’s grey cashmere sweater by Autograph £6 and wide legged jeans by Massimo Dutti £5 (which I’ve lobbed the bottoms off.) For new purchases I go to Cos, Arket and M&S, Monki, H&M. Kin. I’m really trying to limit my purchases and wean myself off the cheaper end of the high street because I know there’s a terrible environmental cost and quite frankly I want to wear nicer clothes.

For help with finding your own style I would look at a book called The Curated Closet which goes through some exercises with you rather than steering you to the same standard classic buys. Pinterest is good although a lot of looks are American… nothing wrong with that of course but it’s a bit different in the U.K.
Today I wore a black silk jumpsuit from Cos with white Birkenstock’s. It was the lightest, already ironed option I had on a hot day.
Attached are 3 of my recent purchases… cheap cropped white jeans ( may have a short shelf life) and a slightly oversized black linen shirt ( probably a few years wear if it washes well) and a slightly indulgent bag in the sales. I would wear in the day with black studded Birkenstock’s ( about 4 years old). For dinner I might switch the top for a black wrap shirt from Cos bought in the sale and add snake print block heeled sandals from Jigsaw. When it gets a bit cooler I will wear the jeans with the grey or black cashmere sweater or oversized sweatshirt and classic trainers. I’ve not tried these jeans with boots yet but I have various options.

You just need to get in the shops and look at styles. I’m 45 and currently wearing midi dresses, floral maxi dresses, straight leg jeans and floral wrap tops, lots of broderie.
All looks good and on trend.
Get prepared to spend some cash and hit the high street, it will soon become apparent what’s stylish and what suits you

@BradleyCooperwillbemine ‘ I would advise avoiding prints/florals by and large, and stick to plains. You will look more elegant/cool. Something happens in late 40's and 50's and the items you wore and looked good in, suddenly look 'frumpy' and 'mumsy'.

@Africa2go ‘I agree with a pp that certain shops sell mainly frumpy / mumsy stuff because its their shopper demographic - you're unlikely to see a twenty-something getting their clothes from Sainsbury’s ‘

Thank you to everyone who has posted, @BradleyCooperwillbemine you have hit the nail on the head and that’s exactly how my wardrobe feels right now!

I am going shopping Saturday!!! I will update you with what I buy.

Getting my colours done helped me. Pinterest is very good for capsule wardrobe ideas.

Joining in. I’m 47 and my wardrobe also looks frumpy/mumsy. I’m going to ditch the florals (big and small) first off!. I’m not planning on buying anything on trend as I don’t actually have anywhere to go atm (wfh, no social life…) but I’d like to refresh a few bits so that if I do have somewhere to go, I have options.

I'm your age and wearing silk shirts dresses to the office, cotton or linen dresses at home doing nothing, silk top and girlfriend jeans out to dinner, and gym wear about the house every morning before I work out. With white trainers, sandals or flip flops.

Old clothes always look out of date, even expensive ones IME. An aunt left me a fabulous Jean Muir dress but there is something about it that just looks old fashioned. I can't bear to get rid of it so it sits in the cupboard pointlessly.

These are my new purchases! Had a lovely time and feel I’ve updated a bit! My old knee length denim dress has been replaced, I’ll still wear my old one at home but this is more modern I feel! Couldn’t resist the jumpsuit even though I have the bladder of an ant and so will probably regret that!!!
The skirt is from new look, felt very trendy being in there - and I could try stuff on!!

[quote Tatapie]@Edmontine

You're also being a bit mean in your tone [/quote]
Yes and quite judgemental. I thought most people had some clothes that are over ten years' old.

Love your new purchases, the skirt is fab

Old clothes always look out of date, even expensive ones

I don't agree with this. If this was true, there wouldn't be such a boom in vintage. If you buy good quality, stylish items rather than fashion/trend led, you can wear some clothes for years. Yes, you need to be careful how you wear them and choose things appropriately. There may be a few years when fashion is so opposite that the item stays in your wardrobe, but we all know trends are cyclical and it's time will come again.

For example, I have a beautiful beige leather blazer from Gucci that I got for a bargain 200 euros (should have been 2000!) almost 2 decades ago. It's been carefully stashed away for many years but as blazers came back 'in', it came out of my wardrobe. Lots of compliments!

You do need storage space and a decent eye for what is stylish/edgy enough that it won't date.