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Why can’t I pull of the cool looks I want?

62 replies

RockstarMartini · 29/05/2021 07:46

Like most people I’ve got into a bit of a rut with comfort dressing so I’m making a conscious effort to smarten up a bit. I just can’t pull it off though, everything looks wrong on me.

I have put on some weight over lockdown but I’ve seen people my size or bigger who look fab, I just look frumpy and uncomfortable.

I know the looks that I like but they just don’t seem to work on my size and shape for some reason and I just feel awkward and ridiculous.

I don’t really know what I’m asking but any advice would be very welcome!

OP posts:
Happyhome21 · 29/05/2021 21:56

I did a house of colour style day
It really helped me feel good in my clothes again
It ultimately saved me money too
My consultant also ordered a load of clothes on line and I choose my favourite ones
I think the on line shop was reasonable
Now I buy only a few clothes but try to only keep those I love

Happyhome21 · 29/05/2021 21:57

You pay for a colour and style day
Then a few for the on line shop

WineGetsMeThroughIt · 29/05/2021 22:16

I have to say that long dresses can look amazing on a shorter person and really make them look much taller. In all honesty, it does help to be slim so the dress hangs smoothly, but it's not the be all and end all.

Choose a dress that goes down to the floor (this shouldn't be hard for shorter people - hem it if you need to), wear some shoes that give you a boost - either heels, or wedges or a platform shoe (very on trend at the moment) and make sure the fabric is light and flower. A scoop or V-neck will help to streamline things, and a nice belt to highlight the waist or a little under the boobs.

I'm 5'4 and wear floor length dresses all the time and I look very tall in photos

BetterThanKleenex · 29/05/2021 22:19

It's not that you look bad, you just don't look like other people. You and the perky boobed women you see wearing the clothes you like can all be beautiful!

Confidence definitely helps though- even if it's faked for a while. Try out some small changes and get comfortable with that- then take the plunge wearing something completely new to a place you won't see anyone you know. If it doesn't work then tone it down and work your way up to it.

And as PP said- get a good bra. Even if you only have one excellent one it'll boost you so much!

Ostara212 · 29/05/2021 22:21

@SpeckledyHen

We all have a style personality and perhaps you are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole ?

I personally am ‘natural ingenue’ and would look very wrong and feel uncomfortable wearing dramatic , romantic or classic clothes for example.

What style is natural ingenue?

OP I am having the same issue. The only thing I have found is that darker colours are better now I weigh more, and a bit more minimalist style. I tend to be quite open minded about what to wear for socialising but all ideas seem to clash with my large bum.

Apart from that I'm still looking but I am hoping to lose the weight too!

Standrewsschool · 29/05/2021 22:34

What about a fit and flare or skater dress?

skater

Or a wrap dress
wrap dress

What body shape are you? The biggest lesson I’ve learnt is to dress for my shape. It may mean I have to forego certain looks,, but they look wrong on me anyway.

body shapes

Susannahmoody · 30/05/2021 02:05

Hmm, I hate to say it but yes, losing weight would make a huge difference. Otherwise it's a lot of smoke and mirrors, all the time.

Ostara212 · 30/05/2021 02:12

@Susannahmoody

Hmm, I hate to say it but yes, losing weight would make a huge difference. Otherwise it's a lot of smoke and mirrors, all the time.
I'd literally have to set my arse on fire to get an outfit to distract from it.
CeeceeBloomingdale · 30/05/2021 02:51

I'm 5'2" and currently a small 14 (have recently lost over a stone, still a few pounds to go), big boobs, apple shaped. Whether I'm heavier or not I can wear maxi dresses or midi dresses, just not a length in between.

Some of the advice on this thread is the opposite to what I would wear. If you were previously gamine (which is something I associate with waif like proportions) you probably don't have a defined waist. Do not wear belts and it highlights this, also being short, it cuts you in two and makes you look shorter. Definitely no wrap dresses for the same reason. Sack dresses (without an added belt!) actually make me look more shapely.

I don't have slender ankles as beings short means my legs are also short. I don't wear lengths that end at the ankle. Even trousers or jeans turned up exposing the ankle make me look heavier.

My big boobs should not be highlighted with plunge necks, frills or ruffles. High necks are ok on me, particularly slash or boat necks. Slight scoops and v necks which aren't too deep are more flattering on me than deep cuts.

I favour an edgier look but achieve this mainly through accessories. Earrings, necklaces, bags, shoes and boots for example can make a huge style statement and focus is away from my lumpy bits. This is also true of hair. I focus more on making my skin look good than make up. Invest in a great perfume, if you feel good you will walk taller.

Know what suits you but don't be a slave to it. I sometimes wear a colour that isn't necessarily in my palette and it can look good if the cut and drape is right. I buy a lot in H&M which is mainly thought of as a tall and thin shop whereas I am the opposite. They do great clothes that can work on most people though and more substantial than primark. I think it's important to remember that if you're wearing something loose on the top it's better paired with something tight on the bottom half or vv.

Don't let fabric swamp you. When you are short too much volume adds pounds so choose a quite narrow a line dress over a full skirted one for example. Layers such as a structured jacket can create curves.

It's important to learn your new style. Remember when Kim Kardasian was pregnant and didn't have a clue how to dress without a defined waist? You need to move your mind set to your current shape, not how you used to be.

Baycitystroller · 30/05/2021 06:11

I previously said look at Instagram for inspiration. Someone said ‘Mamalovesleopard’. That’s a good shout. She’s not tall, size 16. Looks great! Lots of fabulous looks on her Instagram.

RockstarMartini · 30/05/2021 11:32

There's some excellent advice on here, I didnt expect so many responses or to find other people in the same boat.

I'm aware I'm overweight and that's not helping but as I said in my first post I've seen people in all different shapes and sizes who do imo pull off the 'cool' looks so it's not just about weight. I'm also aware its very much a confidence thing, mine's pretty low atm hence wanting to find a look that will make me feel better about myself - I think losing weight will be much easier when my head is in the right place.

The Gamine thing is a bit misleading as I've never been boyish and waif like even at my slimmest. I think it was more my style personality, it's definitely not my shape! I do have a waist so I think I need to dress around that a bit more, the advice about having something fitted is very useful.

I'm off for a browse round the shops now so I'll keep all of the above in mind and will report back if I find anything good - wish me luck!

OP posts:
Landedmydreamjob · 30/05/2021 14:06

@Susannahmoody

Hmm, I hate to say it but yes, losing weight would make a huge difference. Otherwise it's a lot of smoke and mirrors, all the time.
I can’t lose weight. Unless you can somehow make me not disabled?
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