Let’s talk about stylish people in their 40s!

[Nanny2many]

So my big 40 is looming and I feel in limbo. Not only am I dressing like I teenager, but a teenager from the 2000s. I feel dated and paradoxically middle aged frumpy and mutton dressed as lamb at the same time.

What changes can I make to feel more chic,grown up, put together? And then incorporating some fun and individuality?

Right now you need to dress like a teenager from the 90s to be on trend.
What are you currently wearing that feels very 2000s?

Find a few people on instragram to follow whose style you like.
There is a good facebook group 'Does my bum look 40, confidence bible' which is great for inspiration and advice.
Where do you buy your clothes at the moment?

There is a book called The Curated Closet which will help sort through what your style leanings are and ways in which you can build a cohesive wardrobe. It is not American despite the name ( only relevant as American style is often a bit different ). I think you need to methodically work your way through what you have and then come up with a strategy going forward. You could collect images on a Pinterest board of clothes that you like and then review what you think ties those looks together.... what are you responding to ( that may be an exercise in the book). I know someone who found it helpful to see a stylist. Sometimes an independent eye can be useful. She went to John Lewis which is free although did purchase quite a few items. My downfall is buying clothes for a life I want to lead but don’t actually have.... although a lot of my purchases are second hand so maybe not so bad. The stylist will want to know about how you live. If you want to keep track of what you have I recommend an app called Style Book although I have been very lazy about keeping it up to date.

Now I am in my early 40s I've really lost my way. I still don't feel "grown-up" and the clothes people wear on all the popular style blogs just look to 'old' for me. I mean, THEY look great, but they look like proper grown-ups. I can't explain it. If I try the clothes I feel like I am dressing like someone 30 years older than me.

Same here @CornishGem1975

I'm in my 40s but am still most comfortable in outfits I'd have worn 15 years ago.

Today: skinnies, tartan shirt, converse.

That's fine because I'm at home, but on my office work days I have no clue. And everything I have feels a bit shabby and worn, slightly shrunken etc.

God I've depressed myself now

It's hard isn't it @SoMuchForSummerLove. I have some weddings and events coming up and I just have no idea what to wear.

Have you seen this? I think I've definitely reached my statement jewellery years. Perhaps it's time to develop your signature look!

@chouxfleur Lol 🤣🤣

I’m 48, I’m not ready for statement necklace but I’m close to perfecting my signature look

Love that clip! I had a statement necklace when I was mid 30's though, then it was a power statement!

I used to wear a lot of statement necklaces ..... the kind you get in Cos. I also had a sharp bobbed hair do so it kind of suited the look... I think it was probably the time Mary Portas was all over our screens and I used to love the way she dressed. They sit rather forlornly in a drawer now but one day they’ll be the height of fashion and my DD ( presently aged 9) will hopefully make use of them.

i think i've always dressed like i'm in my 40's. It's finally age appropriate.

When I first joined MN (more than a decade ago) I spent a lot of time trying to dissuade people from statement necklaces. What is the statement you're intending to make? It didn't make me popular.

Thank you @chouxfleur that is hilarious. OP, I totally relate. Where are Trinny and Susannah when you need them. Or Gok Wan?

The biggest change I made in my 40s was spending more on fewer items that last longer. This really helps make you think about how things fit into your wardrobe - I try to avoid buying anything that doesn't work with at least three outfits.

I think understanding your colouring and body shape, and what suits them is a good starting point. Some people go the whole hog and pay for a stylist's analysis, but there's enough information out there on the internet for you to understand the basics.

I'm older than you and thought I was pretty settled in my 'look', but it's only through researching the above info that I've discovered I look amazing in dark green and awful in anything pale. And a v neck or open buttoned top is 100 times more flattering on me than a round neckline.

Following for ideas! 😀

It’s all internalised misogyny

“Mutton dresses as lamb”?! Even that phrase is outdated

Have fun trying stuff on, look at people whose clothes you like. Learn to find the courage to wear what you like and gives you joy, without preconceived ideas about what other people might think

Set yourself free

Finding new styles is fun, just start trying stuff

FWIW I am 50 and dress like a teenager some days (loose jeans or ripped denim shorts, chunky trainers, tops that are mega baggy), or like a granny (?! Flowery dresses, knitted cardigans), and like an auntie other days (dress, denim jacket, white trainers)

I am having fun with the teenager stuff as I like the baggy style

I’m having more fun with clothes at 47 than I’ve had for years.

Just wear what makes you happy OP. Don’t give your age another thought.

Just wear whatever the fuck you want!!

does my bum look 40 might as well be does my bum look 80 now. sorry.

and yes, fuck it all, fuck misogyny and do what the hell you wan,t fashion bloggers of any sort are a part of it. sadly.

Time to drag this out again?

24 things women over 30 should wear

Thank you Lunanorth

@LunaNorth I LOOOOVE that!