Has anyone drastically changed their style?

[PJsEveryday]

Just that really. I work in an office and always wear trousers and a blouse. I'm a size 12/14 and a bit of a stomach and err on the side of safe and very boring. However I love dresses and skirts. I bought a few in the black Friday sales and while I think they suit me, I'm not sure and DH is of no use because he is always complimentary. 🙄

My issue is that my new clothes represent a major shift in my dress sense and I'm very self conscious. I bought knee high boots, such a change from my comfy loafers. I'm 47, middle aged with a bit of a tummy. Also, I'm not very pretty. I am haunted by my school days when I got teased so much when I started wearing doc martins and being asked if I was trying to be trendy that fron then on really, I've worn boring non descript clothes for fear of standing out and being talked about .

So, has anyone braved a very different style and it has worked (for context, I bought a few shirt styles dresses from Hobbs and I think it looks good, but I'm plain and I don't know of I feel conscious that I am trying to look pretty (impossible) and in actual fact look ridiculous 🙁

I know that feeling from when I was younger. If you're self conscious change gradually by pairing the dresses with thick tights, some are practically like leggings then you're not even really showing any more of yourself, once the dresses have been seen a few times lower the denier on warmer days, wear with bare legs in summer you'll feel like the dresses are old news by then.
Remember if anyone says anything to take the compliments at face value, adults very very rarely make fun of each other clothes it will be a genuine compliment because you're not in school anymore. Since your school days you have managed to attract a man that wanted to keep hold of you and marry you so I'm pretty sure you are prettier than you let yourself believe.

You are very kind. 😊 Funnily enough, when I look back at old photos, um nowhere near as ugly as I thought I was sadly perimenopause and depression have made me these past few years and I'm jowly and a biy lumpy🙁 I have never braved a bare leg 🦵 but I do love maxi dresses, so that is my aim for next summer.

I doubt you're plain for a second. Wear whatever you like. Stuff what anyone else thinks.
If you feel plain or frumpy then get a funky new hair cut/colour and change your Make up.

I bet you'd look great in your dress abc the Dr Martin's

Im in the process of overhauling my style. It feels really scary but exciting. I realise now that I havent been taking myself seriously in lots of areas of life and that was reflected in how I presented, and how others have responded to me

You sound lovely and like you’ve bought some nice new things. Although it seems like it’s a big change for you, it doesn’t seem (from an outsiders perspective) that you’re massively changing your style. I don’t mean this badly at all but both of the types of outfits you’ve described (your ‘old’ style and your ‘new’ outfits) sound like the outfits a lot of women in my office wear - neither are so distinctive that they are likely to really stand out. I mean it’s not like you previously wore only goth clothes and now you’re buying up Kim Kardashian’s wardrobe So the change honestly won’t be as noticeable to others

I’d say just enjoy your new clothes and brace yourself and go for it. Either you’ll get no comments or you’ll get compliments (and be prepared to accept compliments - don’t put yourself down and brush them off!). I can’t imagine anyone in a working environment would think badly about you or your clothes, or be mean like those school children were to you when you were younger.

Peri’ and meno’ can be revolutionary. You ranging out a bit with your style could well be a symptom of the revolt. I had body image issues stemming from similar reasons to yours but in my 40s I started to challenge them. Embrace the feeling of dresses and boots, OP, and just see where it takes you. Some of us get to bloom when we are young, and some of us save the flowers for later.

I'm in the process of this OP and I really like it. I'm embracing my witchy side and I've dyed my hair really dark, wearing lots of black and strong dark lipstick colours. I braved wearing fishnet tights and chunky boots to work recently and got a lot of compliments. I feel more like myself and its breaking free from my married life when my exH expected me to conform. If it makes you happy the do it.

some of us get to bloom when we are young and some of us save the flowers for later

I really like this

I know exactly where you are coming from OP, I had the same sort of teasing when I was younger (including from my family) so ended up just wearing safe boring clothes and trying not to stand out. And I'm peri menopausal like you and suddenly feel like a sack of spuds. It's really hard to try something new because I don't have the confidence to carry it off. ☹️ But I have ordered a dress to try to encourage myself to try a different style.

@GoldfishParade

Im in the process of overhauling my style. It feels really scary but exciting. I realise now that I havent been taking myself seriously in lots of areas of life and that was reflected in how I presented, and how others have responded to me

Ah, this! I have felt like this my whole life. and I think a big reason fr the change is so that I come across better. It's great to hear that you've embraced your new change.

@Sasuma You are right! The change won't be as drastic from the perspective of other people, it just feels huge to me. I need to get over that! :)

@Ponks@Mermaidwaves good luck with your new style - here;s to us peri new fashionistas

]@Craftycorvid some of us get to bloom when we are young, and some of us save the flowers for later. This is such a lovely way of looking at things.

You are all very lovely - I wonder what it is about being Peri that makes us feel the desire to change as that seems to be the common theme here. My new clothes should be here b the end of the week and I'm looking forward to trying them on. Hopefully I'll have the courage to wear something new on Monday.

Do it OP. I spent my younger years dressing as boringly as possible to not generate comments, but I'd still get them. I'd wear baggy shapeless clothes to not get comments about my weight but I'd get comments like why are you hiding your nice figure or are those new black jeans.

When i started wearing normal high-end high street clothes the comments stopped.

You might get the odd, oh so you've got legs comment, but a withering stare will put a stop to them.

@MikeUniformMike - love the withering stare idea- sounds ideal. I also font need much practise

OP I hear you!
My advice would be to wear your new dresses at the weekend, even to the supermarket or for a coffee etc the first time so you have a chance to get used to the 'new you' and you won't feel so self conscious when you do wear them into work.
As others have said, the change will feel dramatic to you but won't seem so to your colleagues.
You deserve to feel good and to dress in nice, flattering clothes that make you happy and your family deserve to have a happier more confident you too!

I have got rid of my many many black clothes, they probably made up about 90% of my wardrobe and I have switched to colours that are more complementary to my skin tone. In addition I got rid of other clothes that I no longer wear or don't suit me. This has forced me to dress differently with a paired back wardrobe. I have also cut my hair. I have been working from home since March so I don't think that many people will remember my old style, but I do feel so much more confident having made these changes. Don't worry about what you think people might think...but rather, if you are comfortable in what you are wearing then you'll come across confident and that's what people will notice 💐

I do like the idea of wearing my new clothes outside before I wear them to work, that would work. The consensus is to be brave- I'll do my very best

Yeah, I've kinda gone through a metatmorphisis style wise if you like!

I used to be fairly unadventurous in my wardrobe : pants and blouse type, in standard colours but then realised that :

Skirts and heel really suit me
Had my 'colours' done so started wearing more colours (I'm a bright winter)
Lost weight so gained more confidence to wear clothes I prefer.

I'll wear nice jeans, heels and a half tucked in shirt to the office (pre covid!) for example.

I get my shirts sewn up between the middle few buttons to avoid boob poppage : I just used to avoid shirts because I was always scared of them popping open. Now instead I get them sewn up and they suit me so that's a bonus.

Another vote for being confident.

I am past giving a shit about being judged on what I wear. I dress to impress, look good and like clothing. I'm almost 40, I'm going to wear clothes I bloody suit and like!

from then on really, I've worn boring non descript clothes for fear of standing out and being talked about

Sorry to hear that OP. I say go for it!

Also happy for you that you have a complimentary husband who doesn’t criticise. Hang on tight!

I’ve changed my style (if you could call it that!!) numerous times. My legs are not thin at all but I wear pretty knee length dresses because they make the rest of me look good & I feel younger & more feminine in them. I give less of a F what others think & I just say HEY I LIKE THESE CLOTHES SO I IS GONNA WEAR THEM! Join the ‘couldn’t give a f club OP! You’ll love it here!

@Separatedandabitsad I deffo want to join the 'couldn't give a F*' club. I've wanted to join for years I'm going to give my makeup an overhaul and take a good look at my hair. Its gone all wirey and frizzy (thanks perimenopause )

It’s the best club ever! My life has improved a lot since I joined!

Hair & make up go a long way to giving a boost - great idea!

Could be worth trying a session with a personal shopper? Someone to help push you a little further out of your comfort zone but at the same time give you confidence that you look great in your new clothes.

Higher end department stores often have them or there are independent stylists not tied to any store.

Could be worth treating yourself and try it!

I remember the first time I wore something I loved that was outside my normal style, a black and white polka dot dress for a Christmas work do, I felt like a million dollars and started my love affair of girly dressing. My style changed completely after that and I've never looked back. Wear what makes you happy, also a big yes to make up and hair overhaul, you'll feel fantastic. Forget those school bullies, I bet they look like a sack of shit now and they obviously haven't got a nice personality either.

Well, I've bought better hair products, some personal grooming goodies (bugger off new moustache) and now just waiting on new clothes but hobbs emailed to say there is a delay in sending orders out so I've got to few more days. Its going to a long wait

Change your perfume as well. That can really boost your self confidence.

I have a perfume which i only ever used to wear on big nights out getting pissed. My 'out out' perfume. Reminds me of when DH and i got to know each other too

I have 6 year old DD and have got a bit too old for being pissed and out on the town now, but i recently i dug this perfume out and the smell of it made me smile and instantly put a spring in my step :) I bought a new bottle and i wear it daily now. I'd been a bit stuck in a rut clothes wise too for a few years (post baby i think) and although it sounds silly finding and wearing that perfume again has jolted me out of my rut and i'm out of my deadly dull rut.
Good luck OP :)

Sorry there was a lot of 'rut'ting in that last sentence