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How do you get over ageing?

125 replies

Frappuccino2020 · 20/11/2020 21:05

I turned 24 this year. I know I’m still young but the difference between my face now and at 23/pre-COVID is shocking. I have been incredibly stressed, my cheeks have shrunk and my previously heart shaped face looks flat now My tear troughs/nasolabial folds are more pronounced. My hair started to fall out due to stress lol 🤦🏼‍♀️

Can’t help but feel a bit shit and awful. How do I get out of this funk and get over it??

OP posts:
SweetCruciferous · 21/11/2020 16:22

@Frappuccino2020 are you looking for practical or philosophical advice?

FrancoBranco · 21/11/2020 16:38

You are only 24 so this is not an ageing matter (unless you smoke 60 a day, sleep inside a tanning bed and shoot up heroin on the reg? If so you should probably stop doing that)

Stress has a huge effect on your body. There are no magic creams or skincare ingredients that can help with this. You need to find a way to reduce the stress in your life. When I went through similar at 32 (hair loss, looking haggard and tired, feeling anxious all the time) I thought I had aged overnight, but I LTB fixed the issues causing me problems and then blossomed. You can become healthy again, you have time on your side.

legopolicelady · 21/11/2020 16:42

You've reached the end of your peak attractiveness. Maybe look in to fillers? Can you afford any work right now?

Othering · 21/11/2020 17:33

@legopolicelady

You've reached the end of your peak attractiveness. Maybe look in to fillers? Can you afford any work right now?
Don't talk such utter horseshit.
creamymash · 21/11/2020 18:13

@legopolicelady lol, if she does filler now she will look like priscilla presley by the time she is 27!

legopolicelady · 21/11/2020 18:29

It's not horses crap. Women are moat attractive late teens to early 20's. Even I noticed that my looks started to decline rapidly from 26 years old and I'm 28 now not as healthy looking as I was at 23 or 24. Just a (sad) fact of life that we all have to accept. That's just how it goes. Nature.

BillyGroatsChuff · 21/11/2020 18:34

At your age a good skincare routine, lots of water and peels/microneedling

No need for Botox / fillers yet

nancybotwinbloom · 21/11/2020 18:43

My looks have gone since I hit 40. But I'm 40.

I look good for my age I think. Well my DH is happy with how I look. I'm ok with it.

I still feel 20 in my head.

Botox isn't all I think it's been made out to be if I'm honest. It changes my face and I don't look like me.

I think you just get used to it.

I think it's genes, drinking water and what will be will be.

Gah81 · 21/11/2020 20:31

Depends how one defines "attractive" lego.

And - aside from the attractiveness that can come with greater self-knowledge and awareness as one gets older - on a purely shallow level, learning what suits/how to groom/sense of style can definitely more than make up for any decline in "youthful bloom". I was pretty when I was younger, turned heads etc but have come into my own/turn many, many more heads now am in my mid 30s. I know countless women who have had a similar experience.

DailyCandy · 21/11/2020 20:40

You don't need filler. You need a shrink. Perhaps iron if your hair is falling out. Time to grow up.

legopolicelady · 21/11/2020 20:49

Wells what I mean is that men are attracted to younger women because they are more likely to carry a successful pregnancy. Of course not all young women are attractive, but on average, this is what men like.

LittleEsme · 21/11/2020 20:59

Highly unlikely OP will be back so some of you can congratulate yourselves for being such bastards to her.

Gah81 · 21/11/2020 21:08

Still not quite convinced. For pure biological pregnancy-having reasons, not sure men distinguish between a pretty 28 year old and a pretty 24 year old. Both are still considered young for planting-my-seed purposes.

But I am sorry you seem to feel less attractive now than a few years ago. Hopefully things will improve for you - 28 is so young to already feel like you will only get less attractive from hereon in :(

Grandfather · 21/11/2020 21:08

Hi im a 55 year old male Ive seen my Children grow
I see my Grandchildren growing
They are disabled no speech
But such wonderful personalities
I remember when i was physicaly beatiful
just like them
Youth has its own beauty
Wisdom is beautiful too

HazeyJaneII · 21/11/2020 21:15

I'm sorry you feel down about it.
I came on to check out advice, as I feel so down about the way I feel and look since my mum died in June, and I hit 51...I've never cared much about having crap skin, or being overweight, having grey hair etc...my confidence and alternative look sort of swept me away in a feeling of 'fuck you, I'm awesome, thankyou very much... '. Now I just feel, bloated, and old and so very fucking tired.
I just hope at 24, you start feeling more confidence in your looks, because at your age I felt like I could punch the world in its face, now I look like the world has punched me in the face.

SweetCruciferous · 21/11/2020 21:27

You have a wonderful opportunity at 24 to really age well. 14 years ago you were 10 – I bet it doesn’t seem that long ago. In another 14 years you’ll be close to 40. What you do in the meantime will make a difference. It’s possible to look less well if you’re stressed and worried, then bounce back with a bit of tlc. The body can be pretty miraculous.

Find a good SPF 50 you’re happy to wear every day (doesn’t cause breakouts, can be worn with your make up, etc.), including one for round your eyes (e.g. LRP).

If you smoke, stop now. Twin studies show that even smoking for a couple of years during youth make a huge difference to how you look for the rest of your life. It’s a certainty that you are making yourself look older than you would have, whether you can see the damage yet or not.

Don’t assume any damage caused by unhealthy lifestyle (diet, smoking, tanning) now can be repaired – there is no certainty in cosmetic procedures and not everyone responds well to anti ageing products.

Moderate your drinking. Regularly drinking alcohol is one of the worst things you can do for your skin, and it can 100% affect your appearance as early as your mid 20s. I know people late 20s who look seriously rough and haggard as a result of drinking, and the damage is irreparable (not just ‘spider veins’ or red skin – gaunt face, bags under eyes, slack skin, etc.). If you do enjoy drinking have days off in between for your body to recover.

Drink lots of water – it sounds wishy washy but really makes a difference.

Exercise – regular cardio will make a huge difference to how you look and is probably one of the best things you can do for your skin. It literally strengthens your cell DNA. It will also help you handle stress.

Nutrition – again, sounds wishy washy but your diet will make a huge difference to how you age. Sugar destroys collagen while vegetables & good nutrition will keep you looking young.

Look after your teeth – in your 40s your gums recede and if you’ve not been looking after them they will start to fall out.

All that said, as you get older you do have to come to terms with ageing, and it’s something you just learn to accept. You have to learn to enjoy life and appreciate what’s really important – the people you share it with and the impact you make with your words and actions. It’s possible to age well, however your appearance will not be the be all and end all. You are much more than just the skin on your cheeks and a smile is the most attractive thing you can wear. Find enough meaning and purpose in life and connection with others that you glow from the inside and your looks become trivial.

Right now it sounds like you need a bit of looking after – so be kind to yourself and don’t worry about not looking your best while you’re under stress. Having a laugh with friends or looking after someone else will make you feel much better than having perfectly contoured cheeks or flawless skin does.

Othering · 21/11/2020 21:29

@LittleEsme

Highly unlikely OP will be back so some of you can congratulate yourselves for being such bastards to her.
No one has been a bastard. People have quite rightly pointed out that ageing skin at 24 just simply doesn't happen. Lacklustre or stressed yes but ageing no.
Othering · 21/11/2020 21:33

@HazeyJaneII

I'm sorry you feel down about it. I came on to check out advice, as I feel so down about the way I feel and look since my mum died in June, and I hit 51...I've never cared much about having crap skin, or being overweight, having grey hair etc...my confidence and alternative look sort of swept me away in a feeling of 'fuck you, I'm awesome, thankyou very much... '. Now I just feel, bloated, and old and so very fucking tired. I just hope at 24, you start feeling more confidence in your looks, because at your age I felt like I could punch the world in its face, now I look like the world has punched me in the face.
I'm so sorry about your mum. Bereavement is a bloody awful place to be. Getting through each day is enough of a task in itself. 50+ isnt an easy place in terms of ageing either. It's when the serious ageing really starts to kick in and everything changes.
LunaTheCat · 21/11/2020 21:50

Actually, at 56 I have never felt better. I have more confidence in myself and my dress sense is better - I know what suits me and take more risks. I have a lot of fun. For what it is worth

  • I have worn factor 30 plus sunscreen every day, summer and winter (I am using cheap Neutrogenia currently) since my mid 20’s - it works !
  • My BMI is 28 - being too thin is bad for your face!
  • I exercise most days for my mental health
  • I buy fewer clothes but good quality and natural fibres
  • I love clothes and stalk things I want in sales and e bay
-I don’t try to be too matchy - pink hair and coral lipstick yesterday.
  • red lipstick is always good.
  • I people watch all the time.
  • I make sure I take my antidepressants!
  • I have been tempted by Botox and fillers but in the end decided money is best not spent doing that. I want to feel good and beautiful as I age and I don’t want to send a message to myself that I need expensive stuff to do that. I want to embrace ageing and feel good about myself.
  • I learn new things as much as possible, keep up with news, keep my brain going
  • I am not lucky enough to have children but I keep in contact with people of many ages and love listening and learning from them. I also have many older friends - they teach me to age well
  • you cannot stop ageing but you can embrace it and keep growing!
Ballstothis148 · 21/11/2020 22:26

HazeyJaneII same here... three years ago I lost several people in my family, just awful. I recovered mentally (ish!) but now I look in the mirror and... the stress completely changed my face, I aged years in one go. My face is a constant reminder of what happened, it sounds vain but it’s more like being followed around by what happened. And on happy occasions, when I see photos of it afterwards i look noticeably older and it brings me down again (just self confidence wise). I feel stuck

QueenPaws · 21/11/2020 22:42

Mine changed massively due to pain (physical pain) and I had lines from basically grimacing, not natural ageing. Went and had Botox

Things that can help
Cleansing and moisturising and hydrating in a routine. Hyaluronic acid
SPF
Retinol (dermatica or skin and me)
Finding some peace in the stress so mediation, yoga, walking, long baths, whatever helps
Water and nutrition
Facials/massages, anything that is relaxing to you

firesong · 21/11/2020 22:44

It won't be ageing at 24 OP. Probably stress. Been a tough year. Try to get out for exercise, sleep, drink plenty of water. All the usuals!

I'm 40 and have notice ageing since around 30, more noticeable after 35. I still think I look pretty good over all though! Try not to panic.

Hopespring · 21/11/2020 23:08

Hi OP. Make sure you eat enough and drink lots of water. Your skin and confidence will improve as you feel better. I had to Google malar bags to see what they are. There are some very beautiful celebs with them

GreenClock · 21/11/2020 23:16

Look after yourself OP. It’s been a tough eight months. You’ll be fine.

StillWeRise · 21/11/2020 23:20

@AnyFucker

Consider the alternative
this x100

plus, its what my DF used to say, which makes it even more true Sad

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