Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Hair dilemma - Hairdressers advice needed

37 replies

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 20:06

Hello,

I really hope someone can help me. I have a DD who is 12. She has ASD and LD and very, very thick, wavy hair. It is beautiful and many would kill for it, but she HATES it. She cannot manage it herself so we have to have it long enough to be able to tie it back everyday.

She gets upset every time she has it brushed, she gets upset every time she has it washed.

I have very short hair and I would love for her to as well (as would she) but we are either told by hair dressers that it is too thick and won't sit right, or they have just refused as her hair is so beautiful.

Honestly if she could have a pixie cut I think she would be a happier person.

Can anyone help me with what I could do? Can she have it short? It would need to be really short. She hasn't got the dexterity to keep it out of her face unless it is really short or long and tied back. Also it get knotty which makes the brushing even more distressing.

I just don;t understand the logic of it not sitting right if it were short as if she were a boy surely she would have short hair. I could really do with some help with knowing what to do.

Thanks so much - this has been something I have wanted to sort it out for her for years and I just don't know where to turn.

OP posts:

LouiseTrees · 09/11/2020 20:20

Could she have it shoulder length but with a headband ( full circle hairband, stretchy) to keep it off her face?

LouiseTrees · 09/11/2020 20:23

Hairband being like this thing but obviously put the bulk of her shoulder length hair behind her shoulders rather than the model has it here pushed forward.

Hair dilemma - Hairdressers advice needed

CodenameVillanelle · 09/11/2020 20:24

They probably mean it won't look 'pretty' enough of course it will sit right with the right cut but it will probably be a traditionally boy's cut. Would she mind that?

PinkBuffalo · 09/11/2020 20:29

I have thick hair and very short hair it is fine!
Just for info, I am also autistic. Having my hair short makes it so much easier for me.
I struggle to brush my hair When longer cos of knots etc, but where it is short I have no issues. Also washing my hair is so easy in the shower every morning. Also do not have to hairdryer or anything I just give it a quick rub with towel and brush and done.
I hated lockdown when it got longer and it started getting knotty again it feels horrible

Original poster

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 20:29

@LouiseTrees

Could she have it shoulder length but with a headband ( full circle hairband, stretchy) to keep it off her face?

Unfortunately it would get really knotted and there would then be a meltdown when it was to be brushed again. Thanks though.

OP posts:

Original poster

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 20:30

@CodenameVillanelle

They probably mean it won't look 'pretty' enough

of course it will sit right with the right cut but it will probably be a traditionally boy's cut. Would she mind that?

I don't think she would mind at all to be honest. I have very short hair (about an inch) and she would love it like mine.

OP posts:

CodenameVillanelle · 09/11/2020 20:32

Do you live somewhere with trendy barbers or LGB friendly businesses? Somewhere she could have a decent cut without people thinking she's weird for wanting a masculine cut as a girl? Or just call ahead at the hairdresser and tell them not to argue with you about what you want!!

Original poster

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 20:32

@PinkBuffalo

I have thick hair and very short hair it is fine! Just for info, I am also autistic. Having my hair short makes it so much easier for me. I struggle to brush my hair When longer cos of knots etc, but where it is short I have no issues. Also washing my hair is so easy in the shower every morning. Also do not have to hairdryer or anything I just give it a quick rub with towel and brush and done. I hated lockdown when it got longer and it started getting knotty again it feels horrible

Hello! Thank you so much for your message. What is your hair like (your short haircut I mean).

I think it would really make her life happier with short hair.

I need to find an example and then find someone prepared to do it.

OP posts:

JazzTheDog · 09/11/2020 20:32

I have very thick hair and it's at its most manageable as a chin length inverted bob with an undercut.

It lighter, not as easily tangled and the longer front parts can still be tied back in a half pony.

Original poster

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 20:33

@CodenameVillanelle

I live in East London so I would really hope I could find someone. That is an excellent idea about finding at LGB friendly business and I have a friend I could ask.

OP posts:

CodenameVillanelle · 09/11/2020 20:36

Excellent!
It would be good to find a barber who knows how to cut flattering short hair for female faces

NameChange84 · 09/11/2020 20:37

Who cuts your hair? Will they not do it?

PinkBuffalo · 09/11/2020 20:40

I guess you would say it is quite a boyish cut. My hairdresser very good though and does it the same every time he has cut my hair for a long time!
Short all over but not a pixie cut if you see what I mean. Not that short.
Mine is very wavy so he tends to almost thin it out with the scissors as he cuts it.
Having it short just makes life so much easier for me. I could not manage my hair by my own if I had it long so it helps me look after myself too

throwaway10000 · 09/11/2020 20:41

Just go to a different hair dresser

The salon you went to is pretty unprofessional. They have refused to cut her hair shorter as “it’s too beautiful”. What a stupid response! It’s their job to deliver what you ask for at the end of the day. It’s your hair, they shouldn’t be forcing their opinion like this.

I mean you could butcher it yourself and ask them to tidy it up but you shouldn’t have to! A hair cut is such a basic salon service, any salon should be able to do what you want.

throwaway10000 · 09/11/2020 20:42

It’s your daughter’s hair even*

throwaway10000 · 09/11/2020 20:43

I don’t think you need to specifically go to a LGBT salon. Many hair dressers are part of said community, across all salons!

CommanderBurnham · 09/11/2020 20:52

Find a hairdresser that understands.

Original poster

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 20:54

My hairdresser does do her hair, but when I ask she just says that it would stick out and would not sit right. I know! I just don't know what to say when they say that to me.

It would do her confidence a lot of good to be able to manage it herself.

Lots to think about here - so thank you all.

OP posts:

cheesesandwhich · 09/11/2020 20:59

I'm a hairdresser and of course she could have a pixie cut! It would be personal to her face shape and hair texture but ultimately if she'd love it and it would make both your lives easier then go for it!
I'd recommend going to Not Another Salon in brick lane if you can get there. They have a great non judgement policy. Not sure on prices but there websites good.

houmousexpert · 09/11/2020 21:05

Sorry if this has already been suggested, but how about a bob with a fringe? That would stay neat and keep the hair out of her eyes (assuming she doesn't mind her hair touching her forehead 🤔)

Cheesypea · 09/11/2020 21:12

My hair is like this too. I also have a bob
however I've had very short hair as well. You need a different hairdresser. Alot of old fashioned barbers wont do womens hair. Take her somewhere young and trendy when you can.

throwaway10000 · 09/11/2020 21:16

she just says that it would stick out and would not sit right.

To be frank, she’s only saying that because she probably doesn’t have the skill to cut it correctly

Original poster

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 21:18

@cheesesandwhich

I'm a hairdresser and of course she could have a pixie cut! It would be personal to her face shape and hair texture but ultimately if she'd love it and it would make both your lives easier then go for it! I'd recommend going to Not Another Salon in brick lane if you can get there. They have a great non judgement policy. Not sure on prices but there websites good.

Thank you, I have emailed them.

OP posts:

Original poster

PrinceRogersNelson · 09/11/2020 21:21

Thank you so much everyone. I have emailed a couple of inclusive places and will see how it goes.

I think her having ASD adds another layer of problems. It might take a while to get it right as I am not sure how long she will sit for!

A bob might work, but her hair ends up in her mouth when she eats if its not tied back so the length wold have to be right.

I think I need to find an open minded person who understands what we want and see what they think would work for her both for her hair, her disability and her well being.

OP posts:

BaseDrops · 09/11/2020 21:45

I’m autistic with thick hair and need to have it all long enough so it can be tied back or proper short. Short bob with thick hair is likely to go wide and need frequent time consuming trims. Fringes need cutting ALL THE TIME so I’d avoid.

Find another hairdresser and try Pinterest for crops.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread