Oh FFS. I think the only alternatives are a facelift or a balaclava

[CharlottesComplicatedWeb]

I know ageing is inevitable. I know I’m old (born 62) and yes, I probably ought to do something worthwhile to take my mind off it but...

I’ve recently tried to lose weight and get fitter. Have lost 20lbs and feel good. Clothes fit better and can run further. All good. Today, we met up in a socially distanced way, to walk around a country park. It was dry but very windy. We took photos and shared them on our phones. Thinking I feel so much better than pre-Covid catastrophe, I was bloody shocked at how old and utterly knackered I look. My jawline as gone. My face looks tired. I had way too much mascara on so that I’d look awake (not sleeping well as have a painful protruding spinal disc at L5 and T12 together with a dh who snores and a cat who wakes me at 5am to go out 🙄). Even so, I wasn’t prepared for what I look like.

I know I ought not to care. My nan looked older than me at 45 but hey, life was tough then. Is it stress of modern life? Too many diets?

Is it acceptable to wear a hajib if I am not of the Muslim Faith. Either that or I need to invest in a good surgeon.

Anyone have any idea of good creams that work on tired ladies pushing 60? Ought I just to go makeup free and suck it up? God knows.

Well done on your weight loss and improved fitness. That should make you feel good.

I am sure you look a lot better than you think and are being a harsh critic of your face.

I am a few years younger than you ( same decade vintage !) and sometimes there are days when you look in the mirror or at a photo and despair.

I hardly wear make up now, as you say sometimes it can look worse. I don't have a complicated beauty and skincare routine and sometimes wonder whether I should. Sadly I can't recommend any particular cream therefore. Drinking water, getting some quality sleep, bit of exercise etc., the usual things should help skin condition.

Try to see the positives in being healthy and happy ( hopefully?) and cut yourself a break as you are probably looking fine for your age and more normal, less false, than some.

I hear you op. A bit younger than you but my face is sliding south after losing some weight. I did C25 and I'm convinced it's the running.
I've started Tretinoin and it does make a bit of a difference.
My worst is my eye hollows, the weight has gone from my cheek bones. I've actually made an appointment for tear trough filler.

It's the lack of sleep. I'm 34 and I've got two non sleeping children and I look terrible. Like I've aged 20 years in 2.
I know back problems (and snoring husbands) are far from an easy fix - but I bet if you focus on somehow getting more rest it'll do you more good than Botox.

I am 56 and used to look younger than my years, facially at least.
I was on a Zoom call last week and Christ I have aged all of a sudden. Turkey neck, jowls, eyes sunk in. It has happened really quickly. I'm certainly looking my age and then some!

We lose fat from our face as we age unfortunately. Think this can be exacerbated by weight loss/ lots of exercise

I’m 44 and do lots of running. Used to have a full face, especially the cheek area and this has really suffered in the last 6 months or so.

I tried microcurrent, Retin-A, I wear sun cream but had to do something more.

Just had a bit of filler at the top of my cheeks/ under eye and I definitely look less haggard and tired. Understand it’s not for everyone and can look awful if overdone.

I’m sure you look fine, sometimes photos can catch up at very unfortunate angles!

Agree, less makeup works better as you get older.

Op I'm 52 and in the same boat, incl the painful back which prevented me from sleeping through the night for over two years (better now, touch wood). I look the same for a while, then suddenly overnight I seem to have aged by 5-10 years. It's a bracing experience. Not for the faint hearted.

I use adapalene and tazarotene (not at the same time) which freshen the skin but will do nothing for sagging. I followed the thread here about the mini facelift or jawlift or whatever it was called, I'm thinking about doing that to remove the elderly skin hammock under my chin.

I find a glowy finish (like sheer foundation with some sheen) helps a bit, matte skin makes me look very tired and old. Other than that I use mascara and some sheer colour on lips and cheeks. Really missing wearing lipstick.

Are you actually running OP?

I am in my fifties and everyone I know who is a runner at my age has "runners face." I think you should be really proud of losing weight and improving your health and fitness.

OP; i would try cheek fillers rather than tear trough fillers if you want to go down that road.i had cheek fillers about 18 months ago,and it helped the eye bags too,which seemed to disappear,
I am older than you [by a lot] and it knocked at least 10 years off me
I only decided to have them as i had lost fat in my face and cheek area,and more at one side than the other,
If you find a good aesthetician,you wont look as if you have had anything done ,just better
I had mine done by a dentist,they know where all the nerves etc are in the face,
I wouldn't go to a beauty salon

I'm mid 50s and lost some weight a few years back. The bottom half of my face looks hideous. It really does.

I must be one of the few people who has embraced wearing a mask - it's taken years off me

Well, and why not a face lift? Hyaluronic acid and keeping well hydrated are keeping things in check for me now, but I'm planning to have one in the next five years, when things really start to sag. I'm looking forward to it.
Blow all the "ooh, vanity" and "learn to love your jowls" moralizing - I have a lot of years left of feeling vital and girlish, and I want to look in the mirror and, honestly, smirk.

OP I’m about your age so I sympathise. Face exercises really work - on so many levels. In the same way the only natural way to get rid of bingo wings is exercise. They don’t just lift your face to lessen jowls and create muscle that plump flat cheeks, they also help to thicken thin fragile skin. And they are free (or very little initial outlay), and you don’t need any equipment. I’ve posted before with links to what I use. Honestly I saw a huge difference after a month doing just the one very simple exercise. (I now do many others). They are not a chore as when you see the results you want to keep doing them. And they are not really the same as Microcurrent, as they build muscle rather than just tone it. What have you got to lose?

I'm also 58 and got to the point 4 years ago when I hated having my photo taken or seeing my reflection. I had a lower face and neck lift and the results were remarkable. I'm planning a brow lift once we get through covid. I also use a glycolic serum (from super drug) a few nights per week.

Big sunglasses and lippy!

Oh and camera raised, chin up, open mouth smile. Used to assist a photographer.

@ohee links please!

I’m 49, not too bad at the mo but the last few years I’ve noticed the lower half of my face starting to drop a bit. I eat loads of veg, fruit, seeds etc and haven’t sunbathed for decades, wear spf 50 face in summer, The Ordinary retinol overnight in winter, hyalouronic acid daily before moisturiser has really plumped out fine lines too.

So many replies! Thanks ladies 👏👏👏

As far as the photography went, they were just snaps. Not posed at all, quite random so, side views, chins down, big smiles showing crows feet. One of them at some distance so, even though I feel much slimmer, I had my old walking trousers on (which even 3 months ago, I wouldn’t have gotten the zip done up) yet, I still looked “large lady”. Makes me wonder what I looked liked before 😐 If I have a photo taken where there’s time to “adjust” myself, I look ok. I suppose what I’m saying is, these photos are now “out there”. I don’t do Facebook etc. Photos, for me, are for family viewing. Now, I’m “on display” and wish I weren’t.

Is it plain vanity? Don’t know. I’ve never been a raving beauty. I’m plain but scrub up well and with makeup, can look good. It’s just shit isn’t it, when it all sags?

I’m doing C25K. However, I have cut down on wine, eat more fish, weigh foods so that I get a respectable portion size. My portion size was definitely too much, without even really realising it. I’ve never gotten beyond week 3 on C25k but... I don’t particularly want to. It’s not about the distance, it’s about doing something easily do-able 5 times a week. And as an exercise programme I’ve never done anything which has allowed me to slim down my thighs and backside so much, so quickly. I also cycle a lot but, that’s going to lessen in winter.

@Benjispruce2... now I know why I see people in big sunnies and scarves. Yes, I can do that. But yesterday, there was so much cloud, I’d have felt a bit daft. It was practically dark by 2pm 🙄

@Ohee... links would be lovely. I bought one of those Rio 60 Second Face Lift things which I thought was working well. Clearly not 😂

@DefinitelyPossiblyMaybe... that sounds amazing. And brave. DH says he’ll divorce me if I even consider going under the knife. He thinks vanity and self absorption are weaknesses. I think... I don’t want to spend the next 25 years plus (if I’m lucky) feeling like this. I’m with you 😉

Losing 20lbs is quite a bit, I suppose. It was bound to have an effect. And I felt so tired all the time caring the extra weight so, I’m glad I’ve done that. I know, what with the pandemic and people losing their jobs/homes/sanity that this is trivial. And I’m not going to lose sleep over it too much (as I mentioned, sleep isn’t good and yes, I’m sure it’d help it it were better) and yet... it IS important. We judge so much now. Judge others, ourselves. My stepdaughter made a comment about an ageing actress a couple of weeks ago saying “God look at her, she’s so old now, I’d never even have guessed it was her” and I had to say that the woman was nearly 70. That back in the day she was exquisitely pretty. Naturally beautiful. Yet, she was discarded to the ugly bench.

@dementedma... agree. The suddenness is appalling. I’ve never smoked. Sun bathing brings me out in hives. I’ve decent bone structure and have looked after my skin using not expensive but decent skincare. I’m out in all weathers and have always piled on the spf, even in winter because I’ve always reacted badly to sunshine. Yet, here I am, all of a sudden with overnight ageing. Pretty crap.

Thanks all, for taking the time. It seems there are no wonder creams and that having a professional “treatment”, if I’m brave enough, is key.

Well done on the weight loss and running OP. I'm in my 50s and finds that make up has to be more subtle, or it can be really aging.

I use CC cream, pale pink cream blusher and a lip coloured lipstick. Clear mascara, just to lengthen and thicken lashes. No eye make up during daytime.

Eva Fraser (who wrote a book on facial exercises) suggests using Vaseline at night as an eye cream, which I find works well.

Op and @Benjispruce2, here are links: www.evafraser.com/
And www.agelessifyoudare.org/. Daily Mail etc have done articles on both, featuring sample exercises

DH says he’ll divorce me if I even consider going under the knife. He thinks vanity and self absorption are weaknesses.

So he snores, thereby destroying your rest, and then condemns you for worrying about looking exhausted?

Look, you know what to do ...

Move the snoring thought-policeman into another bedroom, permanently. Rest for a while. Then, if the face issues don't improve with facial exercise, consider your further options without domestic consultation. (I'm not at all keen on the idea of surgery myself, but I'd be damned if anyone else thought they had a right to decide for me what I do to my own face.)

Anyway, there are endless facial interventions available now that don't involve actual surgery. Probably a course of massage would be sufficient to make a discernible difference.

But first you need some sleep. Plenty of it.

The sudden weight loss ages us very badly. It will take time for you to 'fit' back into your face.

Hi @CharlottesComplicatedWeb the Rio face toner is great if you know what you are doing .
I highly recommend getting a course of CACI, you'll see noticeable differences after just one session but a course really is best. While you're having it don't drift off, pay attention to what the aesthetician is doing. When you are at home concentrate on replicating the moves with the Rio.
Personally I have a CACI every three weeks and use the Rio four or five times a week. That way I pretty much look like I've just had a salon treatment most of the time.
For the chin to neck hammock I definitely had good results from RF treatment, once a year.
Despite all that I am happy to investigate a lower face lift in the future if things get worse.
I'm 56, teenage children still living at home, busy social life, career blossoming, active sex life. I want what I see in the mirror to reflect what is in my head!

OP I'm the same age as you, and about 2 years ago I noticed I looked really OLD. Bags under the eyes, forehead so wrinkled, grooves either side of my nose etc - and this despite the good bone structure, and hyaluronic acid treatments. And then a friend suggested someone who did mini Botox injections to help lift the face, and eliminate the wrinkles. Game changer. I did try filler, but it's not necessary with carefully placed Botox.

So that was good, and I do that now twice a year. But about 2 months ago I saw that the condition of my skin looked irritated and not particularly healthy. So I went back to a beautician (I'd given up as I thought I could buy face cream and rub it in myself) and she tut-tutted, and gave me an amazing facial, using Environ products. I bought the toner, and moisturiser, used it twice daily and went back to her after a month. My skin genuinely looks so much better, to the extent that someone actually said I 'glowed'. I also use Estee Lauder Daywear Sheer Tint which evens out my skin colour without it being like a foundation. It's a light blue cream, that makes your skin look very lightly tanned when it's on. Best stuff, ever.

My advice would be to get a recommendation for someone who does Botox gently (you don't want the frozen-face look) and find a beautician who does more than smooth in face cream, and preferably uses Environ products in their treatments.

Thanks @ohee
OP don’t let one set of snaps get you down. We all take bf photos some if not all of the time. Sleep is major and it really shows if it’s lacking. Your weight loss will have benefited you in so many ways. I remember suddenly ageing more in my mid 40s but it plateaud so don’t panic. Keep up all your good work!

Bad not bf