Beauty inequality?

[gaven]

I'm not really talking about plastic surgery or genetics here obviously people will always have different genetics and looks but what about the other things, the products, treatments and tweeks?

Take two women both 45, both have decent genes but one has had access to good skincare all her life, facials, baby botox not to mention good quality food, respite from stress hairdressers etc. The other has muddled by with what she can afford from superdrug or savers, no facials or tweekments, dox hair dye, perhaps not having access to info on sunscreen or retin a.

The chances are the first woman is going to look a bit better, have less lines and look fresher (younger).

I know it shouldn't matter but it does still to some extent. I am very much in the second catagory as I never had the money for good skincare or access to things like retin a. I have always tried to look after my skin, I wasn't out caining it in my 20's but I feel like i look bad, my face isn't my own anymore and my confidence and happiness has taken a direct hit as a result where other better off people can continue to look young and vibrent into their late 40's and 50's, they feel better about themselves, potientially have better oppertunities, are precieved more positively in the work place and in society at large.

I feel like I am already being disregarded based on my looks and my mental health has taken a huge hit in recent years coupled with perimenopause.

Its not just about me its about all the women and men who are getting put on the scrap heap in their 40's because they can't keep up with how your supposed to age! I know we should just accept it and age gracefully but its not easy to be graceful when the reality is that looking old means you get passed over for oppertunities and when that happens then life does feel over.

I don't mind my age, but I do mind my face racing ahead of me and not being able to do anything about it.

I think genetics have a great deal to do with it, sunscreen definitely makes a difference but I don’t think facials have that much impact.
However, money spent on clothes, jewellery, diet and makeup definitely shows.

I don't know I think a lifetime of good skincare makes a real difference especially if you have the money for a private prescription for retin a, have the low down 20 years ago on a high spf and perhaps cash for a touch of botox. Of course the clothes jewellery, make you is all part of it and of course hair (I've ruined mine with box dye). I don't have the money for that either. It wouldn't be an inequality issue if it didn't make any difference but it really does and as a result impacts massively on mental health and self esteem.

I know you get retin a subscriptions now which I've been doing for a year now and my results are pretty much maxed out now. They will never be as good as a friend of mine who was in the know about retin a 20 years ago.

Both these types are women are equally trapped in an unhealthy obsession with appearance. Be healthy, be happy, slap on a bit of lippy.... But stop wasting so much of your time, money and emotions on all this--and stop scrutinising others so you can compare yourself to them.

I understand where you're coming from, OP. The world is quite ageist, particularly so the job market. I have no doubt that appearance and looks do have an influence, so those who look younger will have an advantage.

I think I have clear skin but my face is starting to sag and it's very disheartening. I could never afford surgery, or even tweekments, so I just have to try my best with what I have. Thank goodness, though, I dont have to worry about finding jobs anymore. That would be awful.

@ArranBound Thanks for replying and understanding where I am coming from. I'd love not to be bothered with my appearance but it matters when you are looking for work, it matters a lot.

Money doesn't buy you happiness but it certainly buy you a lot less stress and a healthier lifestyle that shows and becomes all the more pronounced with age. Beyond beauty there's a huge discrepancy in health as well.

I do agree with PP that beauty is a terrible investment and we shouldn't allow it to be that important but the reality is that it can be an escape from poverty (especially for women) so for those who have grown up in lower economic circumstances that idea is a narrative that actually rings true and will often be the only sort of power they've had access to so it's not that easy to dismiss as just get over it.

Not sure what exactly you're asking though, OP, or were you just wanting to hash out your thoughts?

I get you too OP.

I'm in the first category, have been having botox for 10 years and started with the odd bit of filler here and there.

When I go visit my parents if I bump into old school friends I'm often shocked by how old they look.

There are things you can do but upkeep is expensive and it isn't fair. I would say if you can stretch to only one I would spend on botox rather than expensive creams as long as you use an oil, but I know that is out of reach for many.

I too get you op. I have treated my skin terribly but because I have money I definitely don't have the face I deserve.
Once you get older, it does take money to look youthful for most people. I certainly notice if you go to the poorer areas , both women and med do look a lot older.
Its not fair. I don't know what to say to you but I think simple and cheap things can make a difference. Retin A, lots of water, fresh food, exercise and pharmacy brand skincare which is not expensive

Just having a bit of a moan and seeing if anyone else agrees with me really which it seems they do! Of course I am not expecting a government beauty benefit payment with so many other pressing matters of inequality. I'm just pointing out it exists and has an effect.

I get it too. I am at a point where I am able to have a little tweak here and there, so long as I budget for it. The difference this has on my confidence, self esteem and mood is incredible. I have a history of mental illness, and I think I like to have a facade of looking like I’ve got my shit together, when behind the scenes I really do not.

I am not sure if I will ever be entirely satisfied with my appearance, post-children and in my 40s. It’s something I find conflicting. Why am I so vain? Why is the way I look so strongly linked to my ability to face the world? I don’t judge others on their appearance. I am not glamorous AT ALL. I am a single mum, working in the public sector. I have nobody to impress. I’m not looking for a partner. I’m not superficial in any other way. It’s for my own benefit but I still don’t really understand why.

I'm not sure, I only use box dye, rarely have a hair cut sometimes getting dh to trim it or will treat myself to a trim at a salon no more than two times a year for at least the last ten years, this year has been once earlier on in the year. I rarely buy new clothes but I then can feel immediately if I'm starting to put in weight so stop eating too much to ensure I don't have to buy new ones so in that regards it keeps me better than if I could just run out and buy new clothes.

I do wear makeup and have one nice foundation that I eek out by mixing with cheaper ones and most of my make up comes from Superdrug's own.
I think I look really nice. Obviously excuse the confidence but I actually think I look a lot better than some of my monied friends who go for Botox etc. That must be down to genetics and the fact that I wear a hat pretty much all summer to protect my skin. My diet is absolutely appalling but I suppose if I wan the d to sort it out I could although I don't eat a lot of fresh stuff due to lack of funds.

So I think genetics is way more unequal than a financial difference for me at least. Although quote me when im 60 maybe I'll be a haggard mess by then !!

I actually think it’s really easy to mess up your face by having too much money and constantly having tweaks. The best thing you can do to look good is stay a healthy weight, avoid alcohol, cigarettes, sugar and processed foods. Keep flexible, laugh often, do strength training. Stop comparing yourself.

I’ve never had Botox, used retin a and don’t use expensive skin care
The main difference for me compared to many people I grew up with is I don’t smoke, drink much, and have a very very healthy diet
If I had less stress in my life I would probably look younger
I don’t wear make up other than occasionally a tinted moisturiser but do use facial sunblock if needed
As I’ve got older I spend more on regular hair cuts and salon colour, have my brows and lashes done and nails
Some of it is also genetic - wish I’d got good body genetics too - I’ve been more or less permanently on some kind of diet since I was 13/14

I just feel its so easy to dismiss it as genetics when really money makes a huge difference to access to healthy food, exercise and even how much stress you are under. Some will be genetic outliers and look really good (or perhaps healthily delusional about their appearance) but money plays a real part in all this.

As someone who worked as a contractor for over ten years, well into my 60s, I think you’re wrong about looking young benefitting you in the job market. I was hired many times over younger women because I didn’t have childcare issues and wasn’t going to get pregnant, much as I’d like to believe it was for my superior skills and experience! My hair’s been grey since I was 43, incidentally.

I think women with limitless resources to spend can get sucked into a vicious circle of Botox and fillers and it can get quite addictive. They don’t necessarily look younger, they look like women who’ve had a lot of work.

I agree about the genetics. I know someone who was pretty plain in their youth, average looking. They became pretty wealthy and now look pretty stunning and all v natural. Its all v understated but best colour and cut for hair. Beautiful clothes, expensive skincare and treatments, facials. I look at photos and she looks better now than she did when she was 30 (15 years ago)

I think that you can look good and retain good skin if you start early in life to look after it, and with very simple products all along.. Obviously a good diet and exercise is needed too. Some people buy into this mass market of all sorts of beauty products, and use them, and still look a bit not so good. I don't think it is necessary to slap all these arrays of so called miracle creams and potions onto you skin, as some can be more harm than good, and just a skin overload of all weird and not so good ingredients.

Facial exercises are free, basic sunscreen, basic moisturizers, sun hats are dirt cheap, keeping your weight steady is free, exercising is free, meditating is free, early nights are free, abstaining from alcohol and cigarettes is free, drinking lots of water is free, information about aging is widely accessible, retin a prescriptions are now very cheap compared to what they were... I think hairdressing is the big expense which is tricky to get round but not impossible. Lots of hairdressing videos on YouTube and supplies readily available cheaply. Pampering costs. Good clothes cost. And dentistry. I don't think botox/fillers/surgeries do people any favours anyway.

God be surprised how many cheaper items win blind comparisons.

I agree, there are things you can do that are not expensive: retin A, facial exercises, exercise, eating week, getting enough sleep. Stress is my main problem at the moment, exercise and meditation helps, but excess cortisol reads havoc on your looks. I'm quite lucky to be in my 50s, having good bone structure and good hair, the rest I have to work at. I don't use Botox/fillers etc, but don't doubt I might look less tired if I did.
What I really want is to look sophisticated as images but that probably takes money, so I'll settle for eccentric

I think at 45 the main thing that will set 2 women apart is if 1 is still smoking. Or maybe very heavy drinking. I guess the former is largely socioeconomic but doubt money spent on products has much to do with anything.

I agree there's inequalities, but don't believe it's products, I think it's mostly lifestyle factors (things like not sleeping enough, crap food, stress, pollution, etc.)
E.g. whenever I go to London (before COVID) I am struck by how prematurely aged all the commuters look on the tube. I see young ladies who look (based on general demeanour and style, and also small details like the texture of the skin on their hands) in their late 20s, wearing nice looking professional clothes, nice make up, nice hair, nice nails, etc. (so they must have some money, and they obviously look after their appearance). But God, the lines on their faces! Under their eyes, on their foreheads... Unhealthy lifestyles, I'd say. But not necessarily by choice (I suspect, too much work stress, not enough time to feed themselves or sleep properly, and a generally not very pleasant living environment)

I’m just past 40, but still get picked for late twenties/ early thirties I don’t have a large skincare budget, don’t have an ideal diet but never smoked. I have a few lines under my eyes but nothing on my forehead or face. I’m the oldest of five girls but am usually picked as the youngest - and two of my sisters including the ‘baby’ have had nose jobs and chin implants plus Botox Wearing sunscreen for over 20 years helped me, but I heard that message as a child, so if you’re a similar age to me, I’m not sure why you weren’t wearing it?

Look at all the rich and famous people who still dont have great skin! I honestly believe it's more about water, fruit and veg and not eating rubbish all the time, also sleep, taking off your make up nightly and moisturising and using spf. I think there's enough good creams out there that dont cost the earth now especially. Tesco do half price sometimes on Olay or Loreal.