Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

"Nobody ever told me" thread

363 replies

littlecatfeet · 31/08/2020 22:13

I was wondering, do you have any personal style/beauty tips that you worked out all by yourself?

I have two:

  1. Never ever apply perfume when you're under stress - running late, or angry, or anxious - it seems to cause that horrible reaction that makes perfume unbearable.
  2. When you are carrying 'le flab' (as I call it) a silk slip looks a million times better under a dress than shapewear. It slides past your creases and moves naturally. And you're comfortable!

What hard-won or fluke inspirations do you have to share?

OP posts:
Youngatheart00 · 01/09/2020 22:28

Jeggings rather than skinnies are a lot more flattering (And comfy) then actual skinny jeans - I’ve been everything from an 8 to a 14 and that’s always been the case. And the best ones are River Island’s Molly jeggings, if anyone is interested (and no, I don’t shop at RI for anything else and haven’t for years - so don’t rule out just because of the brand!)

Horizontal stripes do not make you look bigger

Thick hair cut into layers can either be dreadful or a dream depending on how good the stylist is and how well they know your hair

Another vote for waterproof mascara all the way. I use the boots cheapie remover pads (oil based - basics range) to remove. Nothing else holds a curl on my straight lashes

Finally, always size up when buying a bikini.

eaglejulesk · 01/09/2020 22:30

What are you meant to do with your Converse when you turn 40? Can you give then away or do you have to burn them?

You have them placed in special urns so they can be reunited with you when you're interred.

Priceless! Grin Grin

ALLIS0N · 01/09/2020 22:33

I shall just post a quote from the article that I linked to, in case you didn’t read it

Women in today’s world are hit from all sides. Do this. Wear that. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Speak softly. Smile. Agree, agree, agree. Assimilate. Shut up. Stay down

The last thing we need is other women telling us what we should and shouldn’t do. Stand up, ladies, and stand together. Don’t be like [ Name of someone who opines on what women over 30 should wear]. (Especially don’t be like her.) Wear what you want, do what you want, and support one another! And like all of these fabulous ladies, don’t give a fuck

OneFootintheRave · 01/09/2020 22:41

@littlecatfeet

I was wondering, do you have any personal style/beauty tips that you worked out all by yourself?

I have two:

  1. Never ever apply perfume when you're under stress - running late, or angry, or anxious - it seems to cause that horrible reaction that makes perfume unbearable.
  2. When you are carrying 'le flab' (as I call it) a silk slip looks a million times better under a dress than shapewear. It slides past your creases and moves naturally. And you're comfortable!

What hard-won or fluke inspirations do you have to share?

The silk slip is a good tip. Anyone know where to buy one? They all seem to be synthetic these days.
Lozz22 · 01/09/2020 22:44

@VaggieMight

Oh yes, shapewear is awfully unflattering. I've seen it so often at events, the roll down ruins the outfit. A tubby tummy looks better than fat squished by shapewear. Shapewear only works if you're stood upright all day, it's only useful if you're a weather presenter.
Shape wear always seems to perfectly round my tummy into looking like I have a 6 month pregnancy bump. Plus the rolling down as soon as I sit down is mega irritating. Did try a full bodied one but trying to re fasten it after going to the toilet was an even bigger nightmare
littlecatfeet · 01/09/2020 22:57

Pure silk is costly. Most upmarket department stores will have them, and I scan the online sales constantly (it's my hobby).

I've had two lucky second hand finds - both at the same small charity shop that seems to have a collection base from wealthy elderly women.

When my current stock wears out I might price up buying fabric and getting a dressmaker to make some up for me - I can't sew to save myself.

OP posts:
Benjispruce2 · 01/09/2020 23:00

Over 40s CAN wear Converse and look good.My teens say they are for over 40s only!Grin
Get blazers into your wardrobe. I ha e a few, mostly quite casual but they really make a difference even just over a t-shirt and jeans with trainers.
A well cut warm coat and a trench are your friends too in the UK. I’m all about the outerwear!

TableNiner · 01/09/2020 23:30

You don’t need to be able to do a blazer or cardigan up

Make up needs a very light touch if you are pale

Make sure you are wearing the right sized bra, especially back size

Buy clothes you can wear straight away. Also if you have to think about an item for longer than five minutes, it’s not for you

Do not strip or scrub your skin if you have spots

OhioOhioOhio · 01/09/2020 23:34

Sleep is underrated.

Spiderbaby8 · 01/09/2020 23:40

Haahaahaa! That's hilarious! I have huge boobs. I have since I was about 13. I'm 50 and they are now not pert. I haven't been able to wear a fucking bralette without possibly resulting in an obscenity charge in about 30 years. A properly fitting bar for someone with a big bust is a must if you want your torso to look like something besides one giant panel of boob, which is exactly what a bralette or bra top does for someone with huge tits.

I think it's obvious I was talking mainly for myself and not every woman on earth...jeez.

TinaTurnoff · 01/09/2020 23:43

I bought a silk nightie in Marks years ago which comes to mid thigh, and that’s my slip for wearing under dresses. It hangs in the wardrobe. Don’t think I’ve ever washed it!

Blueskysunsout · 01/09/2020 23:54

@MikeUniformMike

Converse look cool but not many look good in them. They are too flat. Stuff the ageism.
Exactly. The ankle boots are just about passable but the low trainer style is awful. I don’t think anyone looks good in that type regardless of their age. The only ones I’d wear are the boot platform style. I’m 45.
Member · 02/09/2020 00:02

Stick your tongue out when applying mascara and until it dries to prevent blinking smudges.

YouUnlockedTheGateAnd · 02/09/2020 00:17

No, no the converse thing is TRUE

I tripped —over my own fucking shadow— a few weeks beforehand my 40th. Bust my knee up very nicely. As well as the excruciating pain, the other legacy is even more excruciating pain if I wear overly flat shoes.

I had to give my gorgeous converse away (sob) and I live in bloody running shoes as that is the only thing that doesn’t hurt. I have one pair of hi tops I wear if i have plenty of ibuprofen in and it is a special occasion.

Ingridla · 02/09/2020 00:38

@PurpleDaisies

Who does make the rules? I certainly haven’t had anyone come to my door to warn me to hang up my trainers. I don’t seriously think anyone (I actually care about) is looking at them and thinking they’re bad.

GrinGrinGrinGrinWink

Graphista · 02/09/2020 01:21

It rains in the UK. Buy the best, most stylish, waterproof jacket/ coat you can afford, it will pay for itself many times over.

As I say I’m in west Scotland, rains pretty much constantly here, my 1st winter after moving back it drove me nuts that not one of the high street shops I could afford to shop in had a single coat that was waterproof with a zip and a hood! Even the staff were embarrassed and commented they’d had the same complaints from multiple customers fuck knows what the buyers were thinking that year!

Don’t even get me STARTED on the shoe retailer who tried to tell me the knee high BOOTS I bought weren’t “designed to be worn in heavy rain”

WHAT. THE. FUCK??

Things have slightly improved since then but it pisses me off that the chains stoc k stores in SCOTLAND with clothes suitable for the weather in LONDON 400 fucking miles away!!

MerchantOfVenom · 02/09/2020 01:32

Oh yes and agree short hair is sooooo unflattering

But it’s not though, is it? Not on everyone.

On me, yes. On you, clearly yes.

But it looks amazing on plenty of people. I have a late 40s friend with razor sharp cheekbones and bright blue eyes, and she looks incredible with a pixie cut. With longer hair, she’d just look same-same as every other 40-something.

Likewise Converse. I don’t wear them at mid-40s, but clearly they look great on some older people, just like they don’t work on some very young people.

Some people really have no imagination...

Aisforharlot · 02/09/2020 01:55

Muscular shoulders and back are an amazing confidence booster if, like me, you have no tits to speak of.

Every time I buy super cheap clothes or something I don't love just because I'm shopping, I regret it.

Your body wont be made for every style and that's ok.

Almost nobody gives a shit if you're wearing high heels at an event; may as well be comfortable (saying that, I love heels).

Spending on lingerie and nightwear generally is worth it.

Aisforharlot · 02/09/2020 01:56

( and I haven't worn a short since school as they all look terrible on me, whereas converse look fab)

Geppili · 02/09/2020 02:14

Moisturise you legs to prevent static cling!

LemonDrizzles · 02/09/2020 02:43

That long or medium hair does not suit my face

That bangs do not suit my face

That trendy high street shops styles do not always suit my body type. But more so, what looks good on others/ shop mannequins may not look good on me

Ditto to pp re dresses.but I have large calves ( no welly or knee high boots ever fit). I can actually look ok in dresses....

I have wide feet. (Didn't realise this until I was in my 30s)

I have a big bum and high waisted jeans are the only trousers that prevent them from popping out

How comfy breastfeeding bras are

Make up - you have to find what works for you

Fashion trends come and go. The minute things I like go on sale, get it. Might be years years before similar style makes reappearance again!

LemonDrizzles · 02/09/2020 02:44

That long or medium hair does not suit my face

That bangs do not suit my face

That trendy high street shops styles do not always suit my body type. But more so, what looks good on others/ shop mannequins may not look good on me

Ditto to pp re dresses.but I have large calves ( no welly or knee high boots ever fit). I can actually look ok in dresses....

I have wide feet. (Didn't realise this until I was in my 30s)

I have a big bum and high waisted jeans are the only trousers that prevent them from popping out

How comfy breastfeeding bras are

Make up - you have to find what works for you

Fashion trends come and go. The minute things I like go on sale, get it. Might be years years before similar style makes reappearance again!

medusawashere · 02/09/2020 05:35

I think that being yourself and feeling good will negate most "negative" associations with what you're wearing. The only tips I have are ones that suit me specifically BUT I swear by the following:

I never wear eyeliner under the eye, only on top.

Converse are my favourite shoes - I'm in a band (yes, EVEN at 35 to the PP who thinks that your 20's is the only time you can wear Converse - we also, shock horror, played some major festivals last year - oh, the CRINGE) and they're perfect for jumping about on stage.

Colours are sort of important. I know that red suits me because I'm dark haired but like to experiment outside of that.

The biggest game changer for me is giving up foundation and spending whole weeks wearing no makeup. My skin has never ever been better. Past Medusa would be very jealous.

Wear clothes that fit you and feel good, rather than obsessing about what size you are. As a former anorexic who wasted five years of my twenties worrying about being a size six, it's the biggest regret I have. Thirties me has so much more fun.

It's OK to look in the mirror and see a shape that isn't reflected in "celebrity culture". I wanted to be a lithe, long legged model type with boobs but sort of got stuck at five four with a definite pear shape that not even Anorexia completely got rid of. My much longed for boobs are A cups. It's who we are, it's OK. Way more fun to be yourself.

Smile. Find the fun things in the everyday. That keeps most people looking and feeling younger and happier.

A good pair of dark coloured bootcut jeans will go a long way.

Style hack: I bought a "blazer dress" from Primark that I use as a long open blazer jacket. Looks great and it gets a lot of nice comments.

Jodie Whittaker is my "late thirties" style inspiraton.

readingismycardio · 02/09/2020 06:06
  • Nude underwear! I only recently discovered itBlush
  • have a great skincare routine but keep it SIMPLE!
  • wear spf everyday
  • build a wardrobe of basics rather than statement
  • i don't need a lot of cheap jewelery
IdblowJonSnow · 02/09/2020 06:29

Go easy on prints. They make me look larger than I am.
Heels (sadly) are more flattering. On me anyway, I'm really short.

Swipe left for the next trending thread