Give me your thoughts on what to do with my hair

[thelilachen]

I'm 46 with greying, thick, coarse dry hair.

I dye it at home every 3 weeks.

I've had the same home hairdresser for years. I tried a salon a few years ago and they have me a wonky cut which put me off trying again.

I used to love my thick hair and got lots of compliments when I was in my twenties and thirties.

Now I hate it. I scrape it back and it's just a frizzy mess no matter how hard I try with it.

Please give me your thoughts on what I could do with it!

I used to do home dyes every 6 weeks though, as I got older my hair just stopped being able to cope with it.
Get your hair properly coloured and cut at a good salon, the colour will last for months. Your hair will have a chance to recover and it will be in much better condition.
I also have thick coarse hair but if I didn’t get it cut regularly at a decent salon it would be impossible to do anything with it.

Thanks.

The roots come through really quickly so I would need to get it done in a salon every 3-4 weeks and I'm not sure I can afford the time of money for that!

Seriously considering letting the grey grow out.

No you wouldn’t need to get it done that often at a salon their colours last much much longer. I’ve gone from colouring mine at home every 6 weeks, to twice a year at the salon - and I’m 52 so have plenty of grey hairs!

I’m the same, think the years of home dying doesn’t do it any favours. I’m going to just try and do the roots, and go a shade lighter so the greys blend better

Overnight conditioning treatments, olaplex is nice

Genuine question - how can salon colour last longer if it's the roots coming through quickly as OP says? I can believe the actual dyed hair stays coloured longer without fading, but surely both processes mean you can only dye the hair that is there, not what hasn't yet broken through the skin?

First cut 4-5 inches off the bottom, then have your hairdresser put grey highlights through the top/parting whilst you’re growing out the grey. Ditch the dye.

I wouldn't have grey highlights, but maybe try go lighter some fairer blonde highlights to blend in the grey as it grows through ? You might want a full head to start with ( costs time and money ) then can go for half head on maintenance maybe even a T section if they offer it. You can go to a place just for colour. Or find a mobile person often a lot cheaper.

I think all over colour can be a bit heavy. Then you shouldn't need it doing as often. Normal root growth is 6 weeks, but I can see mine when coloured in 3.

Thanks. I may well go and talk to a salon about what I could do. In my experience though, you have to give them exact instructions because whenever I've asked them for advice they seem to just ask me what I want!

The ends are layered and although it helps with taking weight out, they kick out like mad. This photo is actually my hair after straightening!

I’d cut it all to a similar length bob. It would start as quite a short bob, but then you could grow it out to a longer one. Get ‘hidden highlights’ done at a salon so that when they grey comes though it will be less noticeable (could be passed off as blonde iyswim?)

Alternatively, look at Curly Girl and see if you can tame ‘frizz’ into curls.

I would grow it out - those layers at the end are giving it a cut off look and making it stick out at wierd angles, I don't think a bob is the answer, Grow, grow and get olaplex 3 treatment. Only make sure you dye the tiny roots every 3 weeks, never bring the dye through the lengths of the hair.

Have you thought about getting a Keratin treatment? My hair is very thick and wavy and it takes the bulk/frizz out it and smooths it so it’s much smoother and easier to manage. It also cuts the drying time in half which is amazing.
And I agree with the PP that the layers are not working.

I started going grey at 21.
I went blonde at 25 as I was having to dye it brunette every 2 weeks. I never felt comfortable being blonde.
At 33 I have used lockdown to go to my natural colour. The photo is me on Saturday.
If you are thinking of transitioning to your natural colour I follow on Facebook a group called Silver Sisters and Grombre and they are so positive and uplifting on the transition.

I’d grow it out, I don’t think any dye process helps hair.

I find the argan oil range at superdrug effective for frizz.

Get a few inches chopped off the bottom where it's a bit wispy, and get a few longer layers put in the rest.

For frizz, I've just bought some Secret Agent by John Frieda, and it's made a big difference.

Olaplex is brilliant, my hairdresser uses it on my hair, but you can buy it online. Looking closer at your picture I think I would definitely get it cut into a one length bob, and then concentrate on keeping it in good condition. I use Redken mega soft shampoo and conditioner and use either Argon oil or John Frieda serum to style it.

I think you still have fantastic hair.

I'd be tempted to take it up to shoulder length and get loads of the weight/bulk taken out rather than obvious layers. What's it like if you dry it without straightening it?
I bet you have lovely wavy/curls. I have started rough drying mine and then running serum through it. The straight/blow dry look wasn't working anymore. Much less maintenance now.

I like grey hair.

Go soft beige blonde in an ombre where you can colour the roots yourself.
Wear a side parting.
Only comb when wet, never brush when wet or dry.
Use a frizz reducing conditioner and serum.
Curl the ends under with a straightener.
Wear amazing big earrings.

Lots of suggestions. Thank you.

I do only dye the roots with majirel hair dye but the rest is just faded and horrible.

It's just a big, huge, wiry, wavy mess without straightening or blow drying.

I think I might try and grow out the grey and ditch the dye but also look at chemical straightening. Lose the layers but grow it so it's less "wide".

Funnily enough I have bought a home straightening kit (owow) and just haven't got round to trying it out.

I had it done in a salon years ago and it didn't really work.

There's a bit of theme here on why I don't like salons isn't there? 🤔

@LittleGungHo your hair looks lovely!

Honestly, chemical straightening will not help your hair. Try a keratin treatment (eg Kerastraight). Look it up on Instagram, it would transform your hair and not damage it in the way that straightening would.

Start deep conditioning your hair ASAP. I recommend Kerastase Reflection Masque Chromatique (Thick Hair) hair mask.

Disagree that you should cut 5 inches off/get a bob. Instead get a slight trim but try to grow out those awful dodgy layers - don’t get them re-cut.

A salon keratin smoothing treatment would be suitable for your hair type, you’re actually a perfect candidate. It won’t straighten it but will eliminate frizz, add shine, make it easier to style, halve the drying time etc. It is around £150 but lasts for 3 months so will be useful when growing out the layers. It will transform your hair.

Salon colour looks so much better than box dye. Your hair looks dull and your colour looks flat and a bit warm toned in areas. A salon colour would uplift your hair and last for months. Maybe retouch your greys at home but use a salon branded colourant instead.

Also I think you need better straighteners as frankly, your hair doesn’t look freshly straightened in your photo! It’s not your hair, it’s the straightener. You can actually buy hair straighteners more suitable for thick hair.

Don’t use the at home straightening thing, I think it would unnecessarily damage your hair.

I've never used a box colour but fail to see how a salon colour will keep the roots darker for longer. Hair grows! Unfortunately, salon colour barely covers my 'stubborn' greys, and within a few weeks, the new growth is showing as well, so quite high maintenance. I'm still not ready to embrace the grey though. 😉

Do you like this style OP?