I don't look good without make up

[Immigrantsong]

Not sure if anyone can empathise, but I don't look good without make up. I take great care of my skin, but i suffer from hereditary dark circles that make me look unwell and way older than my age. My skin is also quite shallow and can also contribute to make me look sick.

I can afford good skincare and have seen the dermatologist. This isn't something I can fix with skincare.

With make up on I look great, but the disconnect of the 2 so different images is something I can't come to terms with.

I don't let people see me without makeup as they always ask if I am sick. Everyone is used seeing me all made up.

I just don't know what to do. I don't like my skin at all or how i feel ugly without make up. I need to wear it to look professional, it just wouldn't be appropriate for me to be without it. I look seriously unwell.

If you can identify with this, how do you deal with it? Do you dread summer holidays and the beach too?

I hate that I have to wear it but have become so used to my face with it that I just feel I like odd without it. My features disappear without it...no eyebrows, pale eye lashes, deathly pale skin and dark circles, I also get asked if I am ill or even anemic!

The one person I have known who didn't have to wear make up and looked no different without it had huge dark eyes, dark eyes lashes and eyebrows, she always looked good. I do admire people who feel no need to wear it though.

I also look much worse without makeup and yet I rarely wear it! Nobody sees me these days, apart from immediate family, except outdoors, when I wear sunglasses anyway, so it's fine.

I tell my dh when I'm doing my make up it takes a lot of effort to look normal!

Yep . Even when I was young I looked awful without makeup, and I wear it every day . I don’t have spots or blemishes so with makeup I think my skin looks ok. Without it I am extremely pale with dark under eye circles. I look much the same as friends with makeup on - but they all look better than me without it as they have more natural colour .

@Immigrantsong I am the same, I'm a raccoon. I have dreadful dark circles with a slight yellow tint as well in corners. I'm fair /medium not super pale. Someone asked me if I had black eyes once when they saw me without make up and a (male) colleague who saw me without make up for first time said "wow you look really different without your make up" and this was 25 years ago so it's not improved since then! Tiredness makes them worse but they are always there even if I've had 8 hours sleep. I do go out without make up to take dog for walk etc but wouldn't dream of going to shop without concealer under eyes. I agree with what another poster has said that people get used to seeing you with it on. When I was working I would never have gone in without make up. For holidays on beach(which I don't do now) I would wear lipstick and sunglasses.

Very pale skin and colourless eyelashes and eyebrows definitely seem like a theme here!

Just another thought as it can really affect how dark bags look etc. Have you had your colours done? Bouncing the right colour onto your face can make a huge difference

See this is why this post is interesting. I have dark features and with make up I look very exotic (Hayek, Bellucci). But without make up, my dark circles and any hormonal breakouts or irritations seem to leave pigmentation behind that takes a long time to subside.

Not all is perfect for us with dark features. Yes fair enough, I don't have to worry about eyebrows and eyelashes as they are almost made up even without make up, but the skin just like Mediterranean , Asian and Black skin suffers from pigmentation issues.

I don't like liquid anything: foundation or concealer. The best cover I have found has been Mineral foundation so powder.

@Immigrantsong I use a solid powder foundation Max Factor facefinity and that can be used for under eye circles as well. I get what you're saying about pigmentation I have brown marks as well from HRT and previously in pregnancy. I am not as dark skinned as you by sounds of it but I have very dark eyebrows that's not my problem, although my eyelashes are very sparse now I'm in my 50s. Black circles are main one. I use Maybelline under eye concealer it's in a roller type bottle. But I wish I could find something to get rid of circles so I didn't have to! I've given up now as tried everything. Black circles are apparently often hereditary and caused also by blood pooling around the eye area. I drink loads of water get enough sleep etc as I'm sure you do and they never go away. A friend told me about using pile cream to reduce bags and swelling which I have tried at times night before a big day or event and i think it makes a little bit of difference but temporary. I also think the social media posts of celebrities with "no make up"(yeah right) don't help with womens self esteem.

It's my skin and piggy eyes that are the issue with me. I am pale with red thread veins, blackheads, generally uneven tone & texture, dark circles under my eyes. As someone else said, a filter on my phone immediately makes me look 100 times better solely because of the skin tone.

Those who sneer at others who wear makeup maybe are blessed with skin that is clear, and have naturally large eyes. I do look startlingly different without makeup, to the extent that when I was in labour wtih DS2 I put makeup on at home before heading to the hospital. I knew the birth would be quick and I wanted to look normal on the photo not like some alky tramp! But typical - in the rush, DH forgot to grab the camera so it didn't matter in the end anyway!

people can think that's sad all they like, but I just remember one of the HCAs coming to find me in the X ray waiting room after having DS1. I'd put a bit of makeup on and my contact lenses before going down there, first time in a few days. I'd been staying in hospital post-birth and she'd seen me loads, and she came in the waiting room, peered all around, including looking straight at me, then went away again to the reception area through into the next room where I heard her ask the receptionist for me by name. She literally didn't recognise me with makeup on and no glasses.

I am very high maintenance and just dont care what anyone thinks about it. I love wearing makeup, I love the entire artistic process of applying it, and being able to look glam. Yes, I do look different without it (I dont think i look bad per se but just different). Life is too short to worry about this in my opinion. I'm not affecting anyone else and I dont lecture others on how they should look so I figure if anyone dislikes my love of makeup then thats their problem, not mine. I'm not going to stop doing something i love just because some random stranger disapproves. I love the way I look with makeup so I will continue wearing it! I accept people the way they are and how they choose to dress etc so I expect the same respect back.

@Immigrantsong forgot to mention that if you look like Salma Hayek with a bit of make up you're doing better than most! Also you mentioned your eyelashes and eyebrows are dark and well defined. I totally understand what you're saying about uneven skin tone and dark circles but maybe it is about looking at the nice things about yourself as well. There are always things we like about ourselves. My skin although it is pigmented is not that wrinkled for my age and I try to think about that or I like my eyebrows. I guess we can't have everything, no one is perfect
I dont use a lot of make up, concealer is big one for me mascara and eyeliner as my lashes are awful and a bit of powder to even skin tone out. My husband tells me I look nice without it (my ex was not like that and always expected me to look perfect). I wonder if it is what our early experience is of make up. My mother always wore make up and looked very glamorous. You mentioned your hair being frizzy if you don't style it, I have dead straight hair that just doesn't do anything I spent most of my teens and 20s getting a perm so it would get a bit of body in it. I think we always want what we haven't got hair wise. I am totally shit at putting my hair up but I know friends who have curly or frizzy hair wear theirs up if they cant be bothered to straighten it or style it.

I completely agree. It makes me very sad that so many women feel they need to wear full make up

Oh and I forgot to say, I have never felt that I "need" makeup, I do it because I enjoy it and I like it. I dont understand why people would feel the need to judge others for that. I cant imagine being that judgemental or unkind.

It's a lose/lose situation for me. Without makeup my skin looks healthy, but I have rosacea so I'm blotchy. With makeup my skin looks even but less healthy.

Actually I think a lot of women really negatively judge women who wear a lot of make up...far more that the other way round.

Actually I think a lot of women really negatively judge women who wear a lot of make up...far more that the other way round

I agree.

I once read someone's description of themselves when wearing make as being "in colour" like if watching a black and white tv then swap to a colour one and the difference is evident.Thats how I feel without make up,not myself or "on" iykwim.

@Ihaventgottimeforthis I understand what you're saying and I agree there is so much pressure on women to look younger or more tanned or whatever and men can pretty much look as rough as they like! I really admire your attitude, but I wouldn't say it defines how I feel about myself that I dont look great without make up. It's easier said than done for women to "own their faces" if they have always had low self esteem. That doesn't just come from wearing or not wearing make up. Some people including myself have had abusive relationships. I suffer with a chronic illness but I dont always want to look ill or have anyone ask me if I'm ok. It has got better as I've got older i think you care less what people think. I would never think for a minute that I wouldn't have friends or a husband if I hadnt worn make up, how shallow would they be if it did matter? I think Mary Beard going on TV with no make up is the dogs b*llocks but it is clear she is a confident woman. If only you could buy that in a jar!

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

Actually I think a lot of women really negatively judge women who wear a lot of make up...far more that the other way round

I agree.

I agree as well

I am the opposite, I can't stand my face with make up on. I just look like a hideous clown, .

Same here.

I don't feel it's admirable that I don't feel pressured into wearing make-up, it's not something I give a second thought about often.
I don't judge women for wearing make-up either, its nothing to do with me.
I just feel sad I suppose that our culture (is that the right word) makes some women feel so bad about the way they look they feel they have to wear make-up all the time.
I get that most women wear it just because they like it, not because they have been taught to hate their natural face.

@formerbabe

Actually I think a lot of women really negatively judge women who wear a lot of make up...far more that the other way round.

I agree with this as well, I don't know if this comes from a very long time ago in the Victorian era where "respectable" women did not wear makeup other than a bit of powder if they were feeling really racy! I think maybe we still have that association of a woman wearing a lot of makeup is wearing it for men and is some sort of vamp, which in my experience is bollocks, I wear make up for myself, my husband is not bothered either way.

I have noticed that there is a trend now among some teenagers and young women in their 20s to wear a lot of makeup, thick drawn on eyebrows heavy full foundation, contouring, and fake lashes, even in daytime, which I think is a shame as most girls/young women of that age don't need that much makeup to look good and would look better with a lot less. I think that look has been really pushed out by social media that they don't look attractive without all this. I get this has been going on since before social media in girls and women's magazines etc. but I think it is more intense now there is no escaping it for young people.

Could you try a bit less makeup? Wear a less covering concealer or whatever to get yourself and other people used to it gradually?

Neither do I. I don't look great with loads of makeup either, but the difference a bit of green concealer, foundation and eyeliner makes is huge.

I have no time for anyone who pities me for this, save your energy for something that matters a little bit more than me preferring my face with makeup on!

People only think you look sick without make up because it's different to how you usually look. You don't actually look sick. If you never wore make up people wouldn't think anything of it. I agree with greyish. Gradually try wearing less make up so that the contrast isn't so great. It's ok to look like a person, and not look like perfection.