I don't look good without make up

[Immigrantsong]

Not sure if anyone can empathise, but I don't look good without make up. I take great care of my skin, but i suffer from hereditary dark circles that make me look unwell and way older than my age. My skin is also quite shallow and can also contribute to make me look sick.

I can afford good skincare and have seen the dermatologist. This isn't something I can fix with skincare.

With make up on I look great, but the disconnect of the 2 so different images is something I can't come to terms with.

I don't let people see me without makeup as they always ask if I am sick. Everyone is used seeing me all made up.

I just don't know what to do. I don't like my skin at all or how i feel ugly without make up. I need to wear it to look professional, it just wouldn't be appropriate for me to be without it. I look seriously unwell.

If you can identify with this, how do you deal with it? Do you dread summer holidays and the beach too?

Does make* 🙄

I have patches of vitiligo and patches of freckles. And a wonky face.

I also look shit without makeup but I look alright with a light fake tan!

I think

Also me. I look very bad. I have very uneven skin tone, a birthmark and a scar on my face. My eyes get lost without some definition. It's very hard work having to wear makeup all the time

I can empathize, last week I put full make up on as a school mum friend dropped something off for me. The strange thing is with make up on even being overweight and wearing hideous fashion clothes I feel like I could give most women a run for their money - when dolled up. It's a delusion I keep to myself.

I have this issue, skin tone not so bad but eyebrows and eyelashes are white blonde so without eyebrows filled in and mascara I look awful and ill. I’m just about comfortable around my partner but no one else will see my face unmade up! To answer your question about summer holidays and beaches, I go for a BB cream (usually have added SPF which is a bonus) to even out skin tone with a setting spray over the top, usually stays put. If I plan on staying dry, I’ll then fill in eyebrows and mascara as usual. If not, big sunglasses that don’t come off my face! If I’m going on holiday I also stop using any skincare products that increase your sensitivity to the sun (any AHAs for example) about a week before sun because even with sunscreen you can end up blotchy and uneven.

Looking into microblading for my eyebrows but such a big commitment when it’s on your face!! I’m scared!!

The fact that society has pushed women to a state where people genuinely do not feel they can be seen in public without cosmetics on, is infuriating. Men don't feel like that, do they.
I fully accept for some women it is 'art' and 'empowering', but for the majority it's the fear they will look 'ill' or 'scare the children' or look 'unprofessional'.
Fuck that shit. Own your face. You look how you look, and it's no criticism of your professionalism, your health, your confidence or anything. We don't look down on women who DON'T wear make-up - well, I don't wear make-up and my friends and my employer and colleagues do not look down on me, or pity me - so why do other women perceive it that way?
Of course I look different wearing make-up, I just don't think it changes my actual worth or value or contribution to society.

I'm mid 40s. I have large melasma patches on my face but aside from that it's OK. It's smooth enough with very minimal lines, only 2 properly visible ones next to my eyes. I have well cared for my skin since I was 15/16. Now I use retinol etc but I always put factor 50 on under my make up and cover up as much as I can (I'm goth and not a tanning fan). I don't like myself without makeup but others who have seen me without on rare occasions have said I am beautiful without it! I have low self esteem because of my ex husbands and it doesn't matter what you say I struggle to believe it. I wear makeup most days. I don't go out without it

Op I don’t know what you mean when you say you don’t know what to do. Just wear the make up if not wearing it gets you down.

I look awful without foundation on, I have sallow skin with broken veins across my nose and cheeks and a generally an uneven skin tone, It does not look nice so I cover it up with foundation and the transformation is miraculous, I look airbrushed! If I had lovely skin I would happily go without.

A bit of fake tan helps a lot!

I don't look good with make-up. I look ok in the dark with the light off.

Another member of the dark eye circle club here 😁 I have always looked after my skin but definitely still have a very sallow skin tone and the circles never budge. I have found the only thing that makes them less noticeable is when I have a tan, so I fake it always. It's the only time I really feel comfortable or go without make up x

I look absolutely horrendous without make up.
What’s worse is that even with primer and powder and all that jazz make up just slides off me after about half an hour.

I can never do beach effortless .

Yep me! 🙋🏻‍♀️
Purple under-eye bags, lots of redness and crap skin texture....even with 2L water a day and otherwise healthy.

Without makeup people ask if I’m ill or if I have been crying...no, I just look shit, thanks!

I’d love to pop on a bit of tinted moisturiser and be good to go. I need quite a bit of makeup, and a heavy foundation.

People who look down on those who wear makeup are always those who have good skin and non-deathly complexion!

Twilight I don't look down on people who wear make-up, I just wish women didn't feel they can't look other people in the face without cosmetics, whereas in reality most other people don't give two hoots.

My skin is v poor, eyebags, blackheads, rosacea, you name it. I've lived with bad skin since my early teens. I'm not pretty, or fresh-faced, or glowing, but I still have the ability to leave my house without putting cosmetics on.
The chronic lack of confidence and self-love in women and girls is what drives me mad. Amazing women who have such low self-esteem they don't think other people could bear to look them in the face, does not make for a healthy society. How can we crush gender stereotyping if we can't live without makeup?

I don't feel I can't be seen without it, I'm just delighted it exists.

I have dark circles and uneven
Skin tone. I do look better with a tan . I wear make up all the time . I feel your pain .

@Ihaventgottimeforthis

Twilight I don't look down on people who wear make-up, I just wish women didn't feel they can't look other people in the face without cosmetics, whereas in reality most other people don't give two hoots.

My skin is v poor, eyebags, blackheads, rosacea, you name it. I've lived with bad skin since my early teens. I'm not pretty, or fresh-faced, or glowing, but I still have the ability to leave my house without putting cosmetics on.
The chronic lack of confidence and self-love in women and girls is what drives me mad. Amazing women who have such low self-esteem they don't think other people could bear to look them in the face, does not make for a healthy society. How can we crush gender stereotyping if we can't live without makeup?

I completely agree. It makes me very sad that so many women feel they need to wear full make up.

I'm sure I would probably look better with full make up but I don't intend to find out. I want to look like me - warts and all. I'm 59 and have never worn foundation/blusher/contouring type stuff. Or lipstick. Just a bit of eye liner, powder if necessary to stop looking too shiny, and for special occasions a little eyeshadow and mascara. Vaseline or lip balm on lips.

I think if people usually present a perfectly made up face, there is bound to be a big contrast if occasionally they don't. I never receive 'are you feeling ok?' comments because people are used to seeing the real me. On the other hand If I've made more of an effort for a special occasion I do sometimes get 'you look nice' comments.

I do also get the 'gosh you look nice' comments the once in a blue moon I put on a face of make-up.
DH's ex once said to a friend' oh she does look pretty when she makes an effort'

But plenty of people are still happy to be my friend, or my work colleague, or my husband even though I have bad skin and eye bags. Children have not yet run screaming from me in the street. People do ask me if I am tired - my answer is always why thank you yes I AM tired and have been thus for the last decade.
If people do look down on me because of my unappealing face, then that's their problem not mine, basically. I don't think that is a completely unusual opinion to have. Not many of my friends are that dependent on make up that their self esteem suffers as a result.

I used to be like this until March due to covid. I had cured my 3 decade long acne and rosacea around 18 months ago but still clung onto my foundation/concealer. Then covid struck and had to wear fit tested critical care masks so no point wearing face makeup. I remember the first day i went in to work with a naked face bar mascara and lip balm. I was soooo nervous but no one commented at all. I stepped up my skincare and now use a highlighter on cheeks too and I've had loads of you look glowy and fresh compliments. It's all in the skincare and also your own perception of how you look. It took me a couple of weeks to get used to no base makeup but now I couldn't imagine putting it on.
Maybe use fake tan drops mixed into your night moisturiser to give you a glow then get MAC strobe cream mixed into your spf/day moisturiser to give your skin a luminous finish. I bet you will look then better without makeup. Give it a few days and let your eyes and perception adjust. Best thing to do first thing is exercise to get a natural flush, drink a litre of water and give yourself a facial massage to get the blood flowing - pinch your cheeks to get a natural flush at the same time.
Use Dyebrow for brows and lashes and maybe something like revitalash to stimulate growth or good old castor oil.

I look like I’ve been exhumed without makeup. But once I’ve covered my under eye circles, defined my eyes and used a dab of blusher, I’m very happy with my appearance. I don’t use a lot of makeup, but the items I use make a huge difference. I apply this every morning, 365 days per year, including lockdown. It makes me feel like me.

Thank you all for your replies. It was really helpful to hear from others that feel similarly.

I know it shouldn't bother me this much and I think the reason why it does, is because I do take care of my skin and have an excellent dermatologist prescribed skincare. However that is not enough to make me look good enough with no make up.

I despair when my husband does nothing to care for his skin and looks absolutely wonderful. So I am not sure about how effective skincare is when clearly genetics seem to play a big role in looking naturally good.

Thank you to those who tried to make me feel better by saying I may think things are worse than they are. They unfortunately aren't. I do look horrid without make up. But it's more than that. It's the whole eff6needed to look good, as hair is frizzy too if not styled daily.

It gets on my nerves that I have to do all this effort for me to feel good about myself as I would love to just do my skin care and go. But I can't. I need to take my time.

If anyone has any suggestions, let's share. How do you manage to look good without having to be a completely different person?

I’ve worn make up every day of my life from age 13. I’ve got piggy eyes, rosacea and lips that match my skin. I wore make up when giving birth and every day throughout lockdown because I hated seeing myself in the mirror without it. Sad but true.

As I said, I could habe written your post 18 months ago.
For me it was all about the right diet, fluids, exercise and supplements - I think I thought that all I had to do was have a good skincsre regime and that would be enough but it just wasn't.
One thing you could look at is an LED mask - I have a 7 colour one but I mainly use red for plumping and anti aging but I thjnk the green and purple lights can help with under dark eyes and sallowness.
Do you use a good vitamin c product? TO ascorbic acid powder is brilliant at brightening.
My lips are also very pale and I use a lip tint lip balm from Amazon at night that's really moisturising and changes colour to a good natural pink for each person. It leaves a stain tbe following morning so I look more alive first thing.
I kniw what you mean about husbands - effortless! It's because they have much thicker collagen rich skin tban women and so you don't see their capillaries/veins as much as in women.
I too often despair at the amount of effort involved - in order not to have to wear makeup, my skincare prep regime is insane

This is me too. I wear it every day, though some days more than others. I can wear less on lazy days, but the basics are the same. I have poker straight blonde eyelashes, huge dark circles and no eyebrows. I have to wear mascara, concealer and draw on my brows before I could even think about ever leaving the house. I wouldn’t even sit in the garden without it. And generally I need some blusher to make me look alive too.
I’d love to be ones of these natural people who can go without totally some days. But I wasn’t born with lovely eyelashes and nice skin.