Proposal!!! What is a big diamond?

[boobsboobsboobs]

My (soon to be) brother in law has asked for my help picking a ring for my sister for a post lock down proposal!

Obviously, we can only look online at the moment but it seems that some sites like blue nile offer quite good value and we hope to visit Hatton Garden when we can.

I know that she wants a big solitaire on a platinum band... but what is big?!

One carat? Two carats? Somewhere in between? Just looking for a general consensus.

I don't want to bring up rings now as it would be so out of the blue over the phone / FaceTime and I don't want to alert her

He has a decent budget so it would be balancing the size and the quality!

OP I'd strongly second previous posters' suggestions to consider secondhand. To get an idea of the sort of thing that's available, have a look at Berganza, mentioned above, or Carole Franks, just for example.
This sort of thing is not to my taste but might perhaps be what your sister is wanting:
carolefranks.com/view.php?prod_id=3786

www.berganza.com/Solitaire-diamond-ring-circa-1935.html?search_category_id%5B%5D=1&search_stonetype_id%5B%5D=1&page_num=3&page_size=18
www.berganza.com/diamond-solitaire-Edwardian-engagement-ring-circa-1905-.html?search_category_id%5B%5D=1&page_num=3&page_size=18

It is exciting! The idea to contact a jeweller and ask to get one made is good, and I bet they'd be glad of a commission just now?

@Mascotte I'm very excited for them and don't have much else to do so I'm very happy to help (without taking over of course...)!

From what I can gather, it's much better value to get it made than buy one from a 'brand name'. Plus it would be lovely that it would be totally unique to her!

It's ideal.. she gets a surprise but with the ring she'd like..!

£10k on a ring?????

From what I can gather, it's much better value to get it made than buy one from a 'brand name'. Plus it would be lovely that it would be totally unique to her!

Yup. My ring was valued at over 100% more than we paid for it.

The vintage rings are beautiful but you don’t know the history of them - ie if they’ve ever been knocked or had stones placed back in. Some rings of that age can be rather delicate.

@boobsboobsboobs I would certainly recommend getting one made/from an independent jewel rather than focusing on a brand name. For example a Tiffany ring will be priced up compared to the equivalent size and quality non-branded ring. It will drop value as soon as it’s
worn. A non-branded ring will hold value better.

My ring was about the same cost as what you’re BIL is looking at - it’s 1.3 carat. I’d say it’s a nice size - it looks on the ‘generous’ size but it’s not noticeably massive (which a 2/3 carat or more would be depending on hand size etc). I have compliments on it but you wouldn’t notice it across the room. I’d say best to look at some in person because then you can compare size and quality - some will want a bigger size and don’t mind compromising a bit on the quality but that’s a personal decision! But realistically for the budget you’re probably looking at between 1-1.5 carat.

Decisions on whether to go for the bigger size but less good quality or a smaller size and better quality - that’s something you/BIL can DJ or best to leave to your sister to decide you and BIL will have to think about! Nobody else knows. My DH chose mine but we’d talked a bit about it and I wanted a diamond solitaire so fairly easy for him to choose (might be different if I wanted something more unusual).

I’d highly recommend 77 Diamonds, when things are back to normal you/sister/BIL can look at the different options and compare size, cut, clarity etc. A lot of minor flaws or less than perfect colour for example can’t be seen with the naked eye so you/she might decide to go for one with flaws/slightly off colour but a bigger size etc.

Also I’d recommend platinum. It does require polishing here and there. But it lasts really well and doesn’t need re-plating. And you’d want to get the diamond cleaned regularly to keep its shine - I get mine cleaned and polished every few months and it’s not expensive at a local jeweller. Platinum is more expensive than white gold (despite what PPs have said) so something to factor in - but probably not an issue for the budget BIL has.

Also all the posts berating the cost are nuts. People have different budgets! It’s up to them what they spend their money on. £10k is obviously a lot of money but it’s not completely uncommon to spend that on an engagement ring. And some people will spend a lot more than that too. Some will spend a lot less. Personal choice and circumstances!

If you have a ring valued for insurance it is usually more than you paid for it (a lot more if you've had it for years) as its covering the cost if replacing like with like, made at todays full retail prices.
It bears no resemblance to what its "worth" if you tried to sell it.

@Swiftier thank you, that's very helpful!

1.3 looks good and the colour / quality etc can still be good and fit within his budget.

I think it looks like quite a big diamond but I wasn't sure how big it would look on a hand Her fingers are an L.

Once we can go out (and I'm not pregnant with giant hands), I might go with him and try some on to get an idea of size and then he can go off and get it made somewhere!

Thank everyone for so much good advice!

@RainbowMum11 what a couple of cunts they are then

Good for you.

@boobsboobsboobs I’ll try and post a picture of mine. I’m also L - I think L is pretty much the average size.

This is obvs just the engagement ring - it looks a bit different with the wedding ring.

I have a platinum band with 1.5c, the main stone is 1c. Cost about 6k ,11 yrs ago & I have it separately insured, It was revalued a few yrs ago & had gone up but can't remember by how much as it was grouped with my wedding ring.

I could have got a bigger diamond but the cut I wanted meant a better quality diamond was important & mine is very sparkly.

@Swiftier wow - it's beautiful!

It looks so white and flawless.

Does it change colour in different lights or does it always looks that white?

I might send this pic to my BIL if you don't mind - to me it looks like the perfect size.

Hi @boobsboobsboobs it does look different in different light. Also depending on how clean it is - I do try and get it cleaned now and then but sometimes need reminding

Like @oochie says it’s balancing the size against other factors - some will want a smaller but perfect cut or some will want bigger and can compromise a bit on cut or colour.

Yeah no worries sharing the picture. I think BIL would be looking at something similar size - big bigger or smaller depending on cut and colour

I agree with @bristolbitsandbobs that cut is really important. I have an emerald cut & lots are quite dull.

Also with the poster who said that Americans are better at it. My stone came from then & was then set separately. I have American family & my ring is quite small by the standards but I get lots of compliments.

I also have skinny fingers (I) the ring was far too big when DH got it because he told the man my size & he assumed DH was wrong as he asked my height (5ft10). I just don't really have knuckles if that makes so my ring look bigger on my finger.

If you have a ring valued for insurance it is usually more than you paid for it (a lot more if you've had it for years) as its covering the cost if replacing like with like, made at todays full retail prices.
It bears no resemblance to what its "worth" if you tried to sell it.

We had mine valued for insurance before paying the ring designer for the final instalment (to check that everything was authentic etc) and it was there that it was valued at over 100% what we paid for it. Designing your own and choosing the raw stones, setting etc is definitely worth it financially.

@boobsboobsboobs would she be happy with vintage? I got a gorgeous “big” diamond from the lanes in Brighton, got much more for my money with secondhand. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I love vintage and antique jewellery. Friar House in Battle has some fabulous stuff if she’s into antique jewellery - always seem to have some nice solitaires - I’ve bought from there before too and you can see everything online xx

I have 2.3 c, it is over the budget you suggested but just want to comment on the size. I have quite small hands, it doesn't look inappropriate or enormous. Some posters mentioned practicalities about washing dishes etc. With the diamond of any size you don't want to put i in a dishwater or a dough.. Just take the ring off.
10k is a perfectly respectable budget for a ring. Neither you nor your BIL shouldn't justify it to anyone. It is not just a piece of jewelry, it is something that your sister will wear every day potentially for the rest of her life.
Your sister mentioned she wants white metal and diamond solitaire. It is not a difficult combination to find or choose, it would spoil a wonderful surprise proposal to get her involved.
Don't go to Tiffany's, you pay extra for the brand. You and your future BIL can price it up with the respectable online retailers, like blue nile. Choose the best biggest size with the best combo of colour, cut and clarity you can find for the budget.

My is like this but smaller obvious

ly!

I love the cut @oochie! I really want to get similar but in a coloured gem to wear on my right hand.

@oochie that's really beautiful, I love it!

Thanks @Swiftier, I love actual emeralds & want a gobstopper one for the right hand.

I tried on one that was 50k, it was amazing!!!

@boobs thanks! I was told cut is really important with emerald cuts.