Proposal!!! What is a big diamond?

[boobsboobsboobs]

My (soon to be) brother in law has asked for my help picking a ring for my sister for a post lock down proposal!

Obviously, we can only look online at the moment but it seems that some sites like blue nile offer quite good value and we hope to visit Hatton Garden when we can.

I know that she wants a big solitaire on a platinum band... but what is big?!

One carat? Two carats? Somewhere in between? Just looking for a general consensus.

I don't want to bring up rings now as it would be so out of the blue over the phone / FaceTime and I don't want to alert her

He has a decent budget so it would be balancing the size and the quality!

A “big” diamond if you’re working in the City is 1.5 - 2 carats which is doable for £10k including the setting.

Focus on ideal or super ideal cut, G-J colour, VS2 or SI1 clarity. Brits really like very colourless diamonds but the rest of the world excepting Japan knows that G-J is white to the eye. Pricescope is a useful website for learning how to buy a diamond.

Americans are much better than Brits at diamonds and cheaper. They know a very well cut diamond is extra sparkly and looks bigger. James Allen is an excellent online broker.

A simple platinum solitaire setting in Hatton Garden is c. £800-1,000. If she wants a diamond that looks big, there are ways to set it to maximise the look.

IMO a stone bigger than 1ct gets in the way somewhat. presumably she is not a woman who washes up, grooms horses, does carpentry, makes bread.

Jesus Yes, women can’t have pretty things AND be practical.

Anything over 2 looks like it’s trying too hard. I think 1.6 with really good cut and clarity is a must. Colour for me isn’t such a big deal.

Also go conflict free.

Diamond are terrible at retaining their value, sure she doesn’t want something a bit different?

White gold yellows over time. Platinum might dull a bit but it keeps it colour. I didn’t think mine had faded but after a polish it looked like new. I only had the polish done as it was offered for free otherwise I hadn’t thought it needed it. A friend has to regularly get her white gold ring replated and regrets not getting platinum.

An engagement ring is such a significant and personal purchase, your BIL should choose something with your sister, a surprise is v risky. Ideal size would be 1.2-1.5, over 2 can start to get a bit Xmas baubly. Best value is to get one made and get inspiration from different jewellers. Tiffany do a beautiful square cut solitaire. For £10k should be possible to pick out a decent stone and then ask the jeweller to set it in the preferred style. Very exciting, hopefully you can join in the fun of choosing too!

www.tiffany.co.uk/engagement/engagement-rings/tiffany-true-engagement-ring-with-a-tiffany-true-diamond-in-platinum-GRP10878/tiffany-true-engagement-ring-with-a-tiffany-true-diamond-in-platinum-66863778/

My dd and her fiancé made an appointment at Tiffany’s.
You tell them the style and what metal you want. Then you give them a price range.
They bring out about 5 rings and keep moving them around . My dd said she always went back to the same ring so it was obviously the one she liked best.

I worked with someone who had a 4 carat solitaire diamond - think it had been inherited from nan. She wore it, unironically, all the time. To be frank, it looked fake. A round one as well.

I really,really think you should encourage him to not buy the ring without her. £10,000 is a hell of a lot of money to risk buying the wrong thing.
Also, she's not greedy for saying what she would like. She'll hopefully be wearing it forever and she's marrying s man with a 10k budget - why shouldn't she have what she would prefer?

IMO a stone bigger than 1ct gets in the way somewhat

I never take mine off and I’ve helped refurb an entire house. It never bothers me!

I would encourage him to choose it with her, it’s a lot of money on something she may not like

I can’t tell you much about diamonds or jewellery, however what I would suggest- is letting her chose it herself.

Do the whole proposal and buy the box etc.... but tell her to chose a day and for them to go and look together and she can chose the perfect one for her.

It’s one of those situations where you don’t want to say ‘hmm that’s not what I would have chosen’, as you don’t want to sound ungrateful. The problem is though, it’s her that has to wear it forever more. I’ve known several women that wouldn’t have picked the rings their DH chose for them, but as it’s sentimental value they’ve kept them.

I thunk as her sister OP, you could encourage him to let her pick it.

And £10k OMG that’s amazing!

Look at vintage diamonds possibly at auction and get the stone reset- much better value imho
Also agree entirely about proposing with a fake and then choosing it together- otherwise it could get awkward and he’ll be having to upgrade it earlier than average!

Please encourage him to buy a cheap, fake diamond ring to propose with, and for her to be there when he buys the ring. If it’s going to be on her hand forever, she should get a say!

Mine is a classic Tiffany engagement ring. I love it. It’s a generous size

@ItsMsActually And the rest! A girl I worked with had a 4.2 carat diamond engagement ring. It was gorgeous. I'm not really into jewelry but I was fascinated by it. I asked her once jokingly why she had such an expensive ring when she was really careful with her money ordinarily, and she told me it was because the value would never go down. It's a wise investment.

I would not go pre owned in this case, lots of people have superstitions regarding this. Yes cut and clarity is very important to take in to consideration, a better quality diamond could actually be smaller.
Regarding a trilogy dimond ring - it tells a story, past, present and future.
Interestingly when I once decided to sell mine a jewller told me that a single stone held its value much better as it was one large stone, rather than 23 smaller ones. Something to possibly consider.

@Bristolbitsandbobs that is completely untrue. £10k could get a very good diamond. My engagement ring from memory is 0.9 carat, F, VVS1, assher cut. My wedding ring has two D, IF, brilliant cut small diamonds, they were both considerably less than £10k.

@Elsiebear90
@boobsboobsboobs

Well it depends what you call decent. My SIL and I bought my stone as an ideal cut, excellent polish, excellent symmetry, 1.56c, no fluorescence, E, VS1. It’s certificated and that does add to the cost too. It was graded outstanding by the diamond dealer.

The key is that it’s cut and symmetry bounces the light around and you can tell. It adds £1000’s to the cost but IMO it’s worth it. My friend has a diamond that’s bigger and still E colour but it just doesn’t sparkle in the same way.

If you buy the best you can, I’d definitely go for quality over size. I have honestly had people come up to me and comment on my ring. No it not big by US standards, but it is really a beautiful stone.

That’s twice the price and not a big stone, but excellent quality.

Not quite sure why the pic didn’t attach

Definitely go for platinum, white gold will need redipping, plus the current prices makes platinum a really good option at the moment.

1ct is a decent size, the cut will have a lot to say, some cuts look bigger than others. Do you know what styles she likes? They’re so many options!

Personally I’d look at antique, Instagram has some many knowledgeable people (And proper jewellery shops) on there happy to help.

Can he work out what her ring size is?

Op, the only bit of advice I would give is get her the ring she wants, not what some random on here would like.

She wants a solitaire on a platinum band. Get her that. No quibbles. It’s her ring. If she wants a big diamond Ie bling, then see what he can get within budget that’s as big as possible. She’s not going to give a shit about clarity that you need to magnify to see.

“£10k won’t get you a good diamond of any size.”

This is really not true.

Also the mark up on Tiffany jewellery is immense. You could probably get the same size and spec of diamond from Hatton Garden for 30-40% less, maybe even half the price.
Platinum is a more dense metal than white gold and keeps its whiteness without needing to be replated, and would probably be a cheaper option.

Please encourage him to buy a cheap, fake diamond ring to propose with, and for her to be there when he buys the ring. If it’s going to be on her hand forever, she should get a say!

I would have HATED this.

Part of what makes my engagement ring so special for me is the fact that dh chose it.

Buying your own gifts just isn’t the same.

You can get a solitaire with good colour and quality at about 1.5 ct for £10k. My engagement ring was this size and I did get occasional comments from random strangers in the supermarket that it was a nice ring.

The other advantage at buying at around £10k is that, at that purchase price, the ring can still be put on your home insurance rather than needing to be insured as an extra which could add several hundred pounds a year.