How to feel comfortable around wealthy / stylish?

[peeweehelp]

This is not just style and beauty but wasn't sure where to put it!

Due to my DP, in the last few years I have found myself in the company of some exceptionally wealthy, confident, well dressed and intelligent people. As lovely as they are, it's given me quite the confidence crisis. As well as being generally very well travelled / educated they all always look amazing - super groomed and all seem to know the exact thing to wear for each occasion.

I'm trying to be myself and generally increase my confidence. But does any one have any tips for feeling more groomed and I guess, expensive? I don't want to be something I'm not, but I'd love that easy confidence that comes with looking sleek and groomed!

Just be yourself and be comfortable and low key (IMO) in how you dress etc. They won't really care, too busy looking at themselves in the nearest mirror!

Thank you - I think you're right. I've just felt like there's an unsaid dress code / uniform I always get wrong!

No you won't get it wrong if you feel you are comfortable. A nice silk scarf and black all the way works wonders! The understated look really works.

I've done more of these gatherings than I care to remember. But the most important thing for me was feeling comfortable in my clothes. That gives you confidence! All the best.

Just keep it classic. Don't try too hard but make sure you look well groomed. No need to be anything but what your are happy with!

Shoes nails and hair all three clean and neatly polished, what ever you wear should be well ironed m, its more important that it looks well kept than expensive and pleasant perfume. Works wonders

Charity shops in upmarket areas are your friend OP as you can experiment cheaply. See also Ebay.

Best way is to give zero fucks and be yourself

Take a look at the school of affluence videos on YouTube.

Hold your head high, tell yourself you are as good as them (because you are) and accessorise that New Look top and Top Shop dress.

I remember a phase when I was always in the company of people who were going on holiday/had been on holiday to amazing places.

Person 1: Just got back from the Antartic, so amazing. Where are you going?
Person 2: We are going to Borneo this year. You have to go somewhere interesting or the teens just don't want to come.

Both of them: Where are you going AnnaMagnani

Me: Um, Weekend in Brighton. am fucking skint and you know it

Thing is, you have to make your weekend in Brighton sound like a trip to Borneo.

So: We're going to Sussex, can't wait to see the Brighton Pavilion and Charleston Farmhouse. The Bloomsbury Group are so fascinating and inspirational. Sometimes it's just lovely to explore what Britain has to offer don't you think?

Best way is to give zero fucks and be yourself

this ^ in a quiet, confident way rather than a brash, trying to cover nerves way.

Keep a few simple questions to ask which will get the conversation going. People love anyone who gets them to talk.

How did we get from the OP's first post saying they're lovely people to the very first reply being They won't really care, too busy looking at themselves in the nearest mirror!

I think a PP has nailed it, I've been in your position OP and it took me a few outings to twig that nice hair, manicured nails, clean shoes and well ironed clothes are key.

I've also noticed that minimal jewellery and very natural looking make up make people look expensive imo.

Keep it simple that’s my advice.

Simple clothing, jewellery and a healthy dose of self belief

I’d be one of those people you describe, OP. And I can tell you that I’d be focusing on your smile and conversation, rather than designer labels. Once you’re smartly dressed and well groomed, you have nothing to worry about.

How about getting a wardrobe consultant in to streamline your wardrobe.
Simple, groomed hair; regular facials and manicures. ( you could got to student nights, so it would cost you a fiver)

Can You afford to buy a few things that would make you feel more confident?

As for travelling and life experience you don’t need to go very far , lots of interesting places to visit in Europe that don’t cost much.
Most importantly it’s not about travelling per se, it’s more about life experiences and hobbies that you fulfil.

@queenofarles I can afford to buy things, I just don't know what!

I bought a lovely watch last year that I'd saved up for and I adore and I'd love to buy more things like that (read a great thread on here yesterday about buying strategically)! But I don't know what I don't know... and it's not until l've turned up somewhere I realise I might have got the dress code wrong!

I'd look on Pinterest and see what's the common theme of what people are wearing and invest in good pieces.

Eg expensive black trousers, silk day dress, good handbag, expensive wool coat

Browse sites like net a porter etc.

I watch Casualty. Yes, I know it's not real but the female consultant, Connie, always looks fabulous. Until recently, she always seemed to stick to black and white clothes, cigarette trousers etc. I think the lack of patterns made her look great, also well cut clothes.

Good neutrals and jackets so can mix and match - also just be you don’t change - very wealthy people often wear classics but have beautiful jewellery and simply also minimal makeup but beautifully done however I was at glynborne last year men in black tie women in hideous shoes and dresses but silk and taffeta and must have cost a fortune but looked a bit clumsy - however often high end is a bit 😮 just lol at Tatler and the society do’s weird!!

Sorry for typos 😬

Can you be more specific peeweehelp what sort of gatherings are you talking about?

Lots of good advice on S&B on building a capsule wardrobe that works well together.

@queenofarles just things like bbqs, country weekends, dinner parties etc but things I haven't had lots of experience of.

Something I've noticed with my DP is that although nothing he wears is branded - it's all very simple and classic but it all costs £££ and looks great and lasts so well! And he's so confident with it. It's like a club I didn't even know existed!

SIL is one of those wealthy stylish people. I don't look much different to her in terms of clothes, hair and make up. The difference is in the accessories. Her jewellery, shoes and bags are in a different league in terms of quality.

Are there any of these people that you get on particularly well with who you could have a chat with about fashion and dress codes?

I was one of those people growing up, and one of the easiest and fastest ways would be to have perfect, glowing skin, unless you already do in which case feel free to ignore .

Since I've sorted my skincare, every outfit looks infinitely better, even if its just jeans. There's something about perfect skin which really elevates your entire look, I think.
Its still quite a joy to me as it's the first time in my life that I've had beautiful, perfect skin, my skin had been awful for so long.

It's incredibly rude (of a PP) to suggest wealthy/well dressed people are always looking in the mirror, certainly never true in my case .