If you're size 16+, how do you look stylish?

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

I turned 40 last year and I'm trying to have a bit of a style rethink. What I want is to look stylish and not fussy, but I am a bottom-heavy size 16, and I'm really conscious of staying away from "quirky" and "fun" things. Don't flame me, but I really think that once you're no longer young and slim, those sorts of styles can be a lot harder to pull off. I really don't want to be the fat, jolly one in White Stuff prints and brightly coloured tights - which is probably what my natural inclination would be, tbh.

I don't wear black because it doesn't look well on me, but navy, grey and brown are fine. I look best in pale pastels but I avoid pale pink because I look like a marshmallow in it.

How do you "do" simple elegance if you don't have a tall, slim frame to work with? I like the French look but I don't think it's for me with my very un-French fat arse...

Watching this with interest as I would also like to know! I find a lot of plus-size inspo on social media etc tends to lean towards the quirky vintage-y look which can look lovely, but isn't really me. I'm quite a reserved person and just want to look smart, well put together and give off an air of confidence above my natural personality! I like Meghan Markle's white shirt and jeans type looks but not sure if a size 18 can do it.

Watching with interest. I'm in my fifties and also size 16 ish. I wear a lot of leggings or thick tights with grey jersey dresses that finish above the knee mainly from H&M and ankle boots. Very boring, but I feel comfortable. I also like above the knee jersey pull on skirts with jumpers and thick tights. At home I just wear leggings and long jumpers. I don't like patterns, mainly wear solid colours.

I think there are two rules to dressing well.

1. dress for your shape

2. choose clothes that suit your skin tone.

3. is probably more important than 2).

I’m pear-shaped so suit higher-neck tops, brighter/patterned tops, dark trousers etc, and should avoid v-necks.

I also try to chose colours that suit my skin tone.

Ps, also wrong size of 40 and 16+ trousers.

I'm size 26. I only wear dresses, mainly Lindy Bop.

Size 16 with a caboose! Small waist. Love 50s style clothing.

See, the whole 50s Lindy Bop style is exactly what I don't want. It looks great on people with the right sort of attitude, but on me (short hair, quite conservative with make up, flat shoes) it would look ludicrous and try-hard. Not stylish and veering dangerously close to quirky. I don't really have boobs, either, which I do think you need for that look.

Yes, I like the look of a simple shirt with sleek trousers but like a pp, don't feel like it's for my shape. Not feeling like I have the figure for the look I aspire to

The world wouldn't go round, would it if we all like d and suited the same things.
What looks good on the goose doesn't necessarily look good gander.

I think you need to spend a lot of time trying things on. Anything that bunches, sags etc isn't right.
Aim for an hourglass shape, looking to level or balance out anything out of proportion, pull in your waist etc.
Look for good quality fabrics; too thick and you'll look bulky, too thin and the fabrics will cling.
Make sure everything fits impeccably, getting items tailored if need be.
I like trousers, simple tops and blazers. Midi skirts with a fitted top and trainers is another look I like.
I like a bit of colour but not too loud. You could 'get your colours done' to find out what suits you best, maybe. Tiu could also try a personal shopper at your local department store. It can help to have someone suggest things that you might ordinarily ignore, or just show you what you're doing right!
I avoid trends as they're unlikely to work for me now. I stick with variants on what suits me and then accessorise with statement costume necklaces to change the look a bit.
Look after what you have, getting repairs done etc as I always think well cared for clothes look better.

For me, I think trying to not look too casual works, if that makes sense. My favourite piece is a fab denim blazer I got on eBay.

I think you can do the blazer and jeans if you find the right shape of both, but a v-neck t-shirt looks smarter on me than a shirt (smoother line, more forgiving than a shirt which doesn't sit brilliantly over my lumpier bits!)

I like darker trousers inc v dark blue jeans, or knee length stretch skirts with black tights. Top half often a v-neck t shirt with fine knit cardigan (waist length, not long or drapey as that doesn't suit me). I like "clean" pattern sometimes, in muted colours, like I have some black and blue patterned marimekko tops that I really love because they don't overwhelm me.

@ChipsRoastOrBoiled's advice is excellent.

The particular look you want can't be done on the cheap, I don't think. You need good fabrics and tailoring. Everything needs to be ironed and in great condition. Nothing saggy, faded, bobbly, scuffed etc.

Do you have the basics right? Seriously good haircut to suit your face shape and lifestyle, good quality shoes, decent bag and a few bits of nice jewellery, well-fitting underwear that lifts and supports?

For the understated French/Meghan Markle type style you want I think a more covered-up look is best. Sleeve lengths, skirt lengths and neckline all fairly conservative. Navy is a brilliant basic for your wardrobe palette as you don't like black, as it works for both summer and winter and goes with quite a range of different colours. It's also less draining than black.

Give some thought to silhouette. Clothes should just skim your figure. Avoid anything shapeless (tends to look like a baggy tent if you're less than giraffe-like in figure) or overly clingy (shows all lumps and bumps). Totally agree that it's exasperating to see a rather caricatured "50s" look automatically pushed at anyone over a size 14 as if they were the default style option, though I do think there is something to be learned from 50s silhouettes. Some of the dresses MM wears look as if they're 50s-inspired in shape (nipped-in waist, collar bone length neckline, some kind of sleeve, calf length skirt), but they are usually very plain in colour and very tailored so they look sophisticated rather than fussy.

White Stuff can be frumpy not just because of the loud prints but because of the cut and fabric - too many droopy jersey dresses with waistlines under your armpits.

Hmm to come at it from a different angle I think confidence really makes a huge difference. You don’t like the way you look and that will show, whatever you wear. I think you need to focus on liking yourself and find clothes to reflect that. Not a particular “look” but clothes that make you feel good.

I’m 40 this year and a size 16/18. I’ve put on a lot of weight due to health conditions and steroids and have always been a size 10/12 previously so this is a new territory for me but I’m trying to embrace it - despite wishing I was still a size 10 and doing some attempts at exercising etc!

I spent my younger years working in senior management and was quite smart- pencil skirts, fitted trousers, shirts etc etc. Even out of work I was all skinny jeans, blazers and nice boots etc.

I’ve decided that isn’t really me. I am now really enjoying wearing doc martens, rolled up baggy / Mom jeans (rolled up to the top of the doc martens), oversized jumpers and I particularly like a fitted ish short khaki jacket I got from the sale in h and m with a huge scarf wrapped round me at the top...! I like myself in this kind of outfit. I’m dressing for myself. No one else. I have my hair short and choppy / messy and wear eyeliner and I feel more like I did as my younger self rather than falling into the white stuff / Boden / joules trap that so many people my age seem to fall into. I don’t want to look too sensible. That’s not me as a person.

I think you need to experiment more and try different looks.

I also think a lot of the reason white stuff etc can look frumpy is the cut - it’s very tailored around the waist and arms and tends to be quite tunic like which really isn’t flattering or fashionable. If you want to be fashionable, I guess not everyone is bothered...! If you look at sites like Topshop, asos and H and M for ideas most of the current styles for tops are oversized and almost square / box cut or the polar opposite and completely skin tight (like skin tight polo neck jumpers)! Clearly anyone size 16 plus probably isn’t going to feel comfortable wearing some of the skin tight stuff - if they are good luck to them! - but go for more of an oversized look, it’s much more stylish. I size up a lot with things too, I’m a size 16/18 and I always go for the largest size available or a 20/22 if there are actual sizes (most shops seem to go in l, xl now)!

Some good stuff here - thank you.

I did have one of those personal style sessions a couple of years ago, which was where I got the advice about colours from, but I have put on some weight since then, so it could be an idea to do it again to accommodate my current shape.

Over the last couple of years I have drifted a bit too far into wearing colours and prints that I think are more whimsical and "fun" than professional-looking. It's not really the image I want to project any more.

First thing to do will be a wardrobe clear-out to get rid of the stuff I don't want to wear any more. Then I'll have a look in the local charity shops for plain basics in decent brands (I would like to be able to spend the money to get it new but alas for budgeting issues...)

Do people rate H&M for stuff that wears well? I haven't ventured in there for a while because I'm at the upper end of their size range and I find it hit and miss as to whether I'll be able to get their trousers over my thighs!

I can highly recommend the Styled By Susie Tribe page on FB. I have found the site invaluable over the last 2 years and learnt loads of tricks, techniques, ideas and suggestions on how to dress for my shape, style and colours.

It was recommended to me by another MNer and I've subsequently recommended it to every woman I meet who is interested in rejuvenating themselves :)

All very interesting. I think what has stood out for me recently is how shapes can change the way we look so much. The lady who was posting pics of different tops the other day got some really good advice and the pictures were very revealing (not in terms of skin of course) about how certain shapes really change the way we look.

Have a look at asos curve and the outfits the ladies are wearing. It’s good for style inspiration.

I'm not too keen on the general style of asos curve - it all looks a tiny bit cheap to me. Hemlines too short, necklines too low, too much clingy fabric. I think it's too young for me. The jeans are ok for everyday wear, though.

I've been inspired to tear through my wardrobe and be absolutely brutal about what I do and don't wear or like any more. I now have six bin bags full of clothes that are too small, or have fussy details on them, or are too luridly patterned or bright. Five will go to the charity shop, the other is only fit for recycling. I've got nothing much to wear now! Off to the shops later...

I love the sound of your style @Fairylea

Me too @Fairylea - I'd love to be able to find my own sense of style. My problem is what I want to look like and how I actually look aren't the same thing.

I had a personal styling session. What I realised was I was "hiding" in dark clothes. So I've started buying brighter stuff.

V necks.

I always have good styled hair and good make up.

Dresses made of jersey.

I generally don't like restrictive feeling clothes.

Nothing too baggy.

I agree with the Styled by Suzie Facebook page. Also, her online sessions go on sale tonight. Simply submit some photos and answer a questionairre. They do sell out quickly though.

I’m similar size wise (just recovering from a SW adventure that saw me lose 3 1/2 stone then gain 5 stone back!). I’ve had my colours and styling done with House of colour. Now I know what colours and style clothes suit me. I think it’s partly colours, partly style and partly cost. So for example I could wear a really expensive black, full length dress and it might look nice, but actually I could pull off a cheaper dress in a different style and colour.

I’m an Autumn with a ‘classic Gamine’ personality (which means overall I like to have fun with my clothes but have a classic style too). For every day in winter, I like boot cut or flares, I find them more comfortable than skinny jeans. I wear nice tops with a pattern or plain, I tend to choose v-neck because they flatter me more (my boobs are an asset!). I usually wear trainers or boots. I like t-shirt dresses in the summer, I wear cropped leggings underneath because I’m self-conscious about my legs. I love ballet flats in summer because they feel smart but comfortable. I’m on the hunt for a nice blazer to wear to smarten up casual outfits. I have more of a challenge with clothes than most because I’m Autistic and have sensory issues but I like to think I look smart without looking like I’ve tried too hard.

Even after getting rid of approximately 70% of my stuff, I do still have enough basics to get by. I think I might leave it for a bit and see what I feel like I'm missing, if that makes sense.

I have a couple of skirts that I'm not too sure about. One is a navy knee length with a pattern of flamingos on it, which I got in the Hobbs sale and have worn loads. It survived the purge but I don't know if it fits with what I'm trying to do. Is it too frivolous and quirky-looking?

If you love it, and it suits you, it doesn’t matter if it’s quirky looking. Wear what you want to wear, not what others dictate.