If you're size 16+, how do you look stylish?

[EoinMcLovesCakeJumper]

I turned 40 last year and I'm trying to have a bit of a style rethink. What I want is to look stylish and not fussy, but I am a bottom-heavy size 16, and I'm really conscious of staying away from "quirky" and "fun" things. Don't flame me, but I really think that once you're no longer young and slim, those sorts of styles can be a lot harder to pull off. I really don't want to be the fat, jolly one in White Stuff prints and brightly coloured tights - which is probably what my natural inclination would be, tbh.

I don't wear black because it doesn't look well on me, but navy, grey and brown are fine. I look best in pale pastels but I avoid pale pink because I look like a marshmallow in it.

How do you "do" simple elegance if you don't have a tall, slim frame to work with? I like the French look but I don't think it's for me with my very un-French fat arse...

I make sure my hair is nice, simple jewellery and makeup. Decent glasses. Clothes wise, good topshop jeans and blouse, short skirt, ankle boots, showing off my silhouette. I found it useful to initially do a mass cull of clothes so I could pick stuff I felt good in from what I had left. I always have a nice coat/blazer/bag.

I know the skirt you mean - I actually tried that on in the shop. It's long and loose with a fitted waist, isn't it, in a nice fabric, so I think it could totally work for the look you want as long as the rest of your outfit is very plain and "expensive", to use the S&B term. Let the flamingoes be the only eyecatching part of the outfit. Flat shoes, plain navy top with no fussy detailing. You obviously suit it or you wouldn't enjoy wearing it so much.

Could I suggest you signing up for a personal shopping session at a good department store? After my mat leave I threw most of my clothes out and was bamboozled by trying to build it up again.
There's no obligation to buy and it might push you out of your comfort zone? I found it really useful and the clothes really went together.

I really recommend this black skirt (you can wear a different colour top with it). I am bottom heavy and it is so flattering. I am a 14 and have the large but it comes in extra large too. The waistband is stretchy. I wear it with thick black tights and boots and various jumpers on top. Lots of compliments. www.oasis-stores.com/gb/occasion/workwear/knitted-midi-skirt/073026.html?cgid=workwear&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjOPGrcGQ5wIVCbLtCh0qJgV_EAQYBSABEgJXOvD_BwE&position=50&dwvar_073026_color=01

Definitely ether try and get a style analysis or work out what shape/style you are, I used styled by susie and like above recommend it to everyone but if you didn't want to pay I'm sure there will be a website you could figure out if you're a pear or an hourglass. If you are a pear I wouldn't be wearing patterns on your bottom half but I could be wrong there.

The main reason why I like susie is that she's a 16 so gets it, if never be able to get bottoms at H&M do shops like new look and next is where I got my personalised recommendations and a lot of the clothes she shares with outfit inspiration are from places like Sainsbury's which have the tailored look but don't cost an absolute fortune. Definitely read the blogs or listen to the podcasts for some inspiration even if you don't want to purchase anything

Is size 16 'plus size'? I thought it was average these days?

I would try and find a few plain trousers and tops in navy and your other staple colours that are decent quality fabric, some killer boots and then some eye catching accessories and good make up.

Mummadeeze I do like that skirt. I don't wear black next to my face, but it's fine for a skirt or trousers. I might check it out.

TheLightGetsIn yes, it's that one. I usually wear it with a navy cardigan and a pink silk top, or a fuschia jumper. But a plain navy jumper would also work.

Amara123 I did have a session about two years ago, in John Lewis. I don't know how well it would work now, as not all the brands they stock go up to a 16.

How much does this Styled by Susie cost? I keep hearing about it but if it involves having to post pictures of myself anywhere I don't think I'd be into it.

There's different levels of analysis I got gold I think it was about £60 but I'd have to check you can gets bronze or silver instead which are cheaper with less info or pay more for a video call/glasses/hair analysis

You only send a couple photos privately over email which even that I was nervous getting down to a vest and leggings and standing there like a numpty for my husband to take photos but I bet some people do it themselves with a big mirror I just couldn't do my figure justice like that 😭

It saved me a heap of money on clothes that won't suit me and now I can get the best out of stuff that I already had so even though I don't like splashing out on these things I knew it would be worth it and it has, but even before I got it done I got enough tips from following on Instagram/Facebook and the blogs so I got myself half way there before I even had confirmation about my colours and shape. I really thought I was a pear or an apple so having a stranger tell me I'm actually an hourglass and show off my waist was the boost I needed to get out of huge bag shaped clothes that were four sizes too big and making me looking like the side of a house...

I also needed someone to tell me I could wear a leather/Denim jacket because I thought I wasn't cool enough/would do it wrong....you sound more confident than that though

One is a navy knee length with a pattern of flamingos on it, which I got in the Hobbs sale and have worn loads. It survived the purge but I don't know if it fits with what I'm trying to do. Is it too frivolous and quirky-looking?

As someone who bought that Boden Union Jack skirt, I say go for it

@ChipsRoastOrBoiled and @TheLightGetsIn have nailed it

I am also a size 18 and the biggest thing for me was saying goodbye to cheap, thin fabrics that cling to the wrong bits and hello to heavier fabrics and good quality tailoring so the fit and drape flatter you.

Unfortunately, this does cost a bit more money so invest in some key pieces like trousers or a blazer. I love shirts that can be worn with nice jeans and a blazer at the weekend and then with smart trousers or tucked into a skirt with the same blazer for work.

Where does one buy clothes in quality fabrics that are cut well for the size 16+ professionalnomad/anyone. Whenever I see quality/well cut it's in places that don't cater for bigger sizes, for example Massimo dutti and Arket (yes they do an XL but I find if it's a fitted item it's more of a 16 than an 18).

@SunshineAvenue are you an 18? A lot of high end high street shops do go up to an 18, e.g. Hobbs and LK Bennett. Marina Rinaldi is Max Mara's plus size line, and I think go up to around the equivalent of a UK 28 (though being more designer they are not cheap).

@EoinMcLovesCakeJumper I think now that you've culled your wardrobe, waiting to see what you actually feel you're missing day to day is a very good idea. You'll soon notice what you really don't have. There is another thread running atm with "pursuit of elegance" in the title where OP is talking about how she built up a pared back wardrobe of quality basics that really worked together, fitted her lifestyle etc - I think her style might not be a million miles off what you want, so maybe worth a look?
Re the flamingo skirt, see while I can see how it could work with pink, I probably wouldn't wear it with a pink top simply because pink is quite an eye-catching colour in itself, and not the most "sophisticated" (for want of a better word) - I totally would wear a pink top, or the flamingo skirt, but I think putting them both together is more of a fun/quirky look and less of the understated style you're trying to move towards.

Yes, an 18 (currently). I haven't been in Hobbs (office wear?) or LK Bennett (too pricey) for years. Might be time to revisit. I will look at the Max Mara spinoff.

@SunshineAvenue
I have a lot of John Lewis own range (Kun and Modern Rarity especially) and I like Damsel in a dress. Their 18s are a good size 18.

LilySilk shirts fit me beautifully (and I'm 38FF as well as being an 18). I have a black, a white and a nude. They go with everything.

For trousers I actually got a couple of pairs made by a lady that I found on Etsy after buying the material myself. I'm overjoyed with them!

I like Banana Republic (2XL) as well