Bare down there......

[Bluewater1]

I am increasingly seeing articles about how women should wear their pubic hair, Brazilian, Hollywood etc etc and indicating that this is what most women do....then they cite that they got this information from asking beauty therapists....so a but skewed in my view.
As a mum to a daughter I don't want her growing up believing that us women should get rid of any hair basically below our eyebrows.....
Am I the only one wondering about the impact of these articles and pressure on our growing children?

So a bit skewed in my view

Not a big issue for me! Some people remove hair for a variety of reasons, (I do) including praticalities and sensitivity. Others choose not to.

Yet with underarms, it’s considered the norm.

In addition, most men shave their faces.

Surely, tge issue is what feels right for the individual.

I personally think it is gross to shave your pubic hair apart from a trim if you are wearing a swimming costume. But I've been shouted at on here so many times I've given up. Your choice. As I will say to my preteen daughter who has it if it comes up in conversation.

I agree @bellinisurge
I will be letting my daughter know it's her choice.
I spoke to someone recently who said every girlfriend he's had was completely shaved down there..... surprised me tbh but maybe I'm being naive?

These issues are so thorny. Yes it is personal choice but these choices aren't made in a vacuum. We live in a capitalist society that is always trying to sell us something. Hair removal costs money, no matter what method you choose. Being fed messages that hair is gross from a young age affects your personal choices. When I was growing up in the 80s it was leg hair and armpit hair. As the OP points out it's now all hair below the neck (and then exaggerating your head hair, eyelashes and eyebrows). And actually fine blonde hairs on the face used to be acceptable but now there is a lot around about removing them too. The rise in accessibility of porn has also been responsible for driving the fashion for removing all pubic hair. So yes it is all personal choice but what you see your choices as being is also significantly influenced by the cultural messages you are receiving. And for the record, I remove it all so I'm definitely not judging people's choices !

@BetterWithCheddar
Yes, this exactly the message seems to be that hair is gross.....over hair is perfectly natural. This must feed into people's feelings about whether to remove hair. And yes, the commercial industry will encourage us to do anything that means we spend.....

I've for to be honest OP I'm a tad over 30 and never see articles about this in anything I consume.

The place I mainly see it is on here and the endless stream of women worrying about what their partner will think if they don't remove exactly the right amount of hair .

I think it would be better to impart on your DD where the debate originates (misogyny, porn, mens entitlement) and reiterate to her that men who comment on women's body hair, express expectations about what they want done with it etc- are not men you would want to be around anyway.

Teaching her to value herself and have the confidence to make her own decisions and understanding red flags from men is a much more well rounded support method than boiling it down to pubic hair.

I rarely bother with mine other than to trim for personal convenience. DP doesn't care, and if he privately does has the understanding that to comment is inappropriate and I'd do what I want regardless so is moot. It isn't a conversation i would entertain, it's natural, I am clean, I am happy with it- end of. I won't be subject to insecurity, discussion or concern (let alone faff and discomfort) just because I am female and especially not when men have none of it.

I'm bare down there- its purely a personal preference, I have NOT been influence by porn (which is usually what people imply) and I am not trying to look like a child (another accusation thrown). To put it quite bluntly, oral feels way better like this and it means I can throw on a swimsuit and go swimming whenever I like.
I'm not being influenced or brainwashed by the patriarchy (or if I am- no more than people who shave their arm pits/legs) and i can make my own grown up decisions. This is one of mine.
I dont know why we cant just let people make their own grooming decisions and stop shaming people for either shaving or for choosing a full bush. Its down to personal choice.

I agree with you OP. I have a 12yo DD and I'm not so naive as to think she won't come across these pressures. My aim is to try and raise her with enough self esteem that she can make her own choices and not be pressured into anything. I agree with pp that 'these choices aren't made in a vacuum' but the main thing is that she believes it to be her own choice and is comfortable with it.

Yes it is personal choice but these choices aren't made in a vacuum. ... Being fed messages that hair is gross from a young age affects your personal choices.

Whether we like it or not we are all influenced by the culture we grew up in and live in. Pretending otherwise is disingenuous.

I think all you can do is tell your daughters that it’s entirely up to them some people prefer it others don’t but if a relationship finishes because they have decided to have pubic hair then it wasn’t a good relationship.

Personally I am bare down below but it’s totally because I prefer it, DH couldn’t care less and I feel the same about his hair choices.

I remember reading a dermatologist pleading with women to go easy on the hair removal. Especially if you have sensitive skin there isn't really an option that doesn't cause some irritation.
(Please don't tell me about waxing and rice bran scrub, heard it all before thanks).
The best thing about being single for a while was being able to 'rock a 70s vibe'.

So, yes I think you're right to be concerned that girls and young women are told that it is required or expected.

The worst thing in my view is the "I'll shave if he shaves". I find a hairless cock and balls really unappealing.

I'm currently having laser treatment to get rid of all mine. I hate it, always have. Not because I'm influenced by others. Because it's my personal choice.
I have 3 daughters and what they choose to do with their hair is their choice.

Yes it is personal choice but these choices aren't made in a vacuum

This is true. However, noone is ever shamed for wearing makeup are they? or dying their hair? or shaving their legs- these are ALL choices you could argue are also influenced by the patriarchy. So my question remains- why is the way a woman keeps her pubic hair always singled out? why that and not makeup? why is makeup (which is applying chemicals to the face) seen as normal yet trimming or shaving your hair seen as some kind of pitiful response to brainwashing? its completely hypocritical. If you are going to shame people for bowing to patriarchal ideals then it encompasses far more than whether you shave your minge or not.

I think its weird to be bare, too indicative of being a child.

I think its weird to be bare, too indicative of being a child

You could say the exact same thing about under arms and legs! Are people that shave their legs trying to look child like?

why the hypocrisy?

I have a permanent bald spot down there...it's never had a hair grow in it..if I don't get rid of the rest it ends up looking like Friar Tuck.

I think its weird to be bare, too indicative of being a child.

What a weird thing to say. I’m in my early 20s and can assure you that this isn’t a common perception within my generation at all. That wouldn’t even cross my mind.

Obviously the body that the vagina is attached to will be a clear indication that the person is an adult? Come on now. A 50 year old isn’t going to magically resemble a child in any way after a wax.

I think its weird to be bare, too indicative of being a child

If the only way you can identify a child or an adult is by the amount of hair they have down there then you have serious issues......

This is true. However, noone is ever shamed for wearing makeup are they? or dying their hair? or shaving their legs- these are ALL choices you could argue are also influenced by the patriarchy. So my question remains- why is the way a woman keeps her pubic hair always singled out? why that and not makeup? why is makeup (which is applying chemicals to the face) seen as normal yet trimming or shaving your hair seen as some kind of pitiful response to brainwashing? its completely hypocritical. If you are going to shame people for bowing to patriarchal ideals then it encompasses far more than whether you shave your minge or not.

I totally agree that all of those choices are also influenced in the same ways. And whether we like it or not, doing or not doing those things says something about us to others because we of what the dominant messages in our culture are - you are either adhering to norms or rejecting them. I think this is what makes personal choice difficult , it isn't always that the choice is about what you like for your body or life but about whether you are prepared to openly reject societal norms. And actually pubic hair choices are the least subject to this of the things you've mentioned as it is not as visible. I don't think women are brainwashed or stupid or don't know what they want, I'm saying that the cultural messages we receive, like the things we hear about women who don't conform, do affect what we see our choices as being. No one should be shamed for their choices but equally we need to be able to discuss the factors that affect those decisions because that is also important.

I remember reading a dermatologist pleading with women to go easy on the hair removal. Especially if you have sensitive skin there isn't really an option that doesn't cause some irritation.

I'm not a fan of hair removal on the genitals. It's a sensitive area and I'd never go out of my way to wax/shave again unless I wanted to.

No problem if others want to but I hate how it's not become the norm to be smooth, especially for my age group

No one would mistake my hoo ha for a young persons . That said I no longer partake in hair removal other than a thin out and bikini line. Its a choice I agree and while I did find some aspects of it good, the regrowth and ingrown hairs were too much.

I remember reading a dermatologist pleading with women to go easy on the hair removal. Especially if you have sensitive skin there isn't really an option that doesn't cause some irritation

Weirdly, shaving it all off causes least irritation for me. I shave it every time I shower and its fine. HOWEVER, if I wax just the sides I get a horrendous ingrown rash.

I read that the "hollywood" trend has virtually caused pubic lice to become almost extinct so there is an upside!

I actually think I see this message far less than early 00s when I was a teen. That was when all off hair removal was at its peak in my opinion. I think there's a lot more variety of choice now.

I just like the feel... I don't have a very hairy partner either so it just feels normal now. But I've had lots of phases of leaving it completely.

Where are you seeing these messages?

Do the people who take it all off only have a few wisps or are fair to start with?

I'm sure I could take all of mine off but it grows EVERYWHERE and is really thick and dark. I would have really dark 5'o Clock shadow by the end of the day.