Can’t work out what my style is....!

[peanutfoldover]

My best friend is effortlessly stylish. She always looks smart but also trendy enough to look ‘current’ but like it’s totally effortless.

I, however, don’t! I’m a size 16/18 which doesn’t help but I see loads of women of my size who look great.

I’m 39 and a mum. I’m not really into celebrities/famous people etc so can’t tell you who I think looks good even.

I’ve been through a phase of buying loads of joules stuff (it fits well and looks smart) but now I’m a bit bored of it. And, actually, I don’t really like the middle class horsiness of it, as I’m not like that myself.

Where do you get your style inspiration from?

If all else fails, wear what you want to wear (within reason).

I think that if you want to look genuinely stylish (as opposed to simply "in fashion") then there are two key points to take into consideration which will be different for everyone: your actual looks (figure, colouring etc) and your actual lifestyle. If you start by really getting to grips with those then everything you buy will enhance your natural looks and be appropriate for your day-to-day activities, and you can then play around with working out what your own style is. It sounds like your friend has found a way to dress that is very much "herself", and that's why it looks effortless.

Agree @TheLightGetsIn.

Have a look at some fashion boards on Pinterest and maybe make your own board to get an idea of what you like.

Following with interest. I also have a best pal who always looks a million dollars. And she seems to always be ahead of fashion, so she's wearing X style before it occurs to anyone else.

I also agree with @TheLightGetsIn . I had so many clothes but they were all smart, heels etc which no longer suited my lifestyle when I had a baby and didn’t go out to fancy places anymore! I’m getting better but really have to resist the urge to buy a great dress.....

I spend a lot of time on muddy walks, so for me getting the “outdoorsy” style nailed was key, so nice boots, waterproof, gilet etc. Sure, it’s not what all the London fashionistas are wearing, but I’d look a fool going for a muddy hike in a maxi dress.

Likewise I have different styles for the office, work from home days.

So examine what suits your body and your lifestyle.

I’m not into celebrities at all, but I people watch loads and take note of what people are wearing. I particularly look at young people in my office to see what they wear, I don’t copy them but it gives me a feel for trends. When I was early 20s starting my career office dress was tight dresses, heels and nude tights and I had stuck with that look on auto-pilot, but when I started actually studying what people were wearing I realised none of the young crowd dressed like that - they all wear flat, chunky shoes or boots, opaque tights, cigarette pants etc. I realised I probably actually looked quite dated

I also follow the outfit of the day threads on here and a few (non celebrities) on Instagram

I also find planning my outfit in advance - and checking the weather forecast first - helps massively otherwise I don’t stand a chance!

Oh and your friend probably spends more time (and money) than you think, looking very stylish is very time consuming!

I totally agree with @KiteflyingKat

I'm trying to create a capsule wardrobe at the moment, in the hope that I will look 'effortlessly put together'. A lot of thought is going into it!

I'm got into dressing for the country since moving to Derbyshire. Outdoor clothes can be quite stylish in their own way.

@AdoptedBumpkin what I want to wear is pyjamas and no bra!

Ok thank you, I’ll get into Pinterest tonight for sure.

I’m a physio so spend my life in polo shirts and navy trousers and daps. I don’t get ANY style inspiration at work as everyone is in uniform. All the female doctors seem to wear boden dresses exclusively and they are all beautifully slim thanks to the amount of running around they do and no time for breaks!! I’m not really into boden either. The problem with joules/Boden/white stuff is that, on me, it just looks frumpy!

I’ve just remembered I really like what Lisa Faulkner wears on her cookery show. And I always loved Zooey’s style in New Girl.

Just googled their images and it’s nothing like I had in my mind!! Lol

Well, if you like pjs and no bra, start your stylish journey there perhaps? I’m also a 16, so not beautifully slim!

I’m currently in my lounging at home outfit: velvety yoga pants (blue), white cotton vest and a vintage kimono and obi (grey and white, blue obi). Just as comfy, but looks like I’ve made far more effort.

www.hush-uk.com/clothing/harems-joggers/amie-joggers_1-midnight.htm
These are lovely and comfy and pyjama-like.

I get complimented on my clothes and style quite a lot. I don't read magazines or have style icons and I buy all my clothes in charity shops (I am poor but if I wasn't, I'd still do this). I think I am quite good at knowing what suits me and putting outfits together. It's probably the only aspect of me that I have confidence in actually. There are people who look well groomed and polished, and I'm not one of those, but I look damn cool. Maybe confidence is really all you need. Find clothes you like, sod boden, and find your inner swagger.

I read about the Kibbe method for figuring out body type and it really helped me nail down what suited me and what didn't. Suddenly lots of my "but it looks so good on the hanger" outfit disasters made sense, and it helped me figure out what I actually felt like "me" in.

It's not about size but more about bone structure and shape.

Also helped me work out why certain haircuts suit/don't suit.

And the tips associated with whatever your "type" is apply to any kind of dressing: casual/weekend/going out. I even used to to figure out what wedding dress I wanted!

Google it, there's a few blogs and things about it. Also, a YouTuber called AlyArt who does loads of helpful videos too.

That’s great thank you!! Off to look now!!!

Good for you Harriet.

Justine Leconte has loads of tips in her videos.

@peanutfoldover, by uniform do you mean you wear an actual work-supplied polo shirt and navy trousers (not sure what daps are - like plimsolls?) Or do you mean that's the type of thing you need to wear to be practical? If the former, there's not much you can and I would just focus on clothes for outside work. If the latter though, I would try to find some tops and trousers that really work for you. Fabric is key... It sounds like you need some simple work trousers in good materials, but it would be worth hitting the higher end of the high street, gritting your teeth and trying on 20 pairs until you find the ones that look amazing. Likewise, does it absolutely have to be polo shirts or would long-sleeve T-shirts work as well? Hobbs is good for that sort of thing (trousers too, actually - so are Boden). Good cut and fabric plus some kind of subtle detailing like a boat neck rather than crew, a bit of ruching at the waist etc, can often lift a basic top into something more stylish.

And sort your underwear out, if you haven't already! Proper bras and well-fitting pants make every outfit hang differently. Go to Bravissimo or similar to get measured. If I could only spend on three things in my wardrobe it would probably be good bras, good coats and good shoes.

My polo shirt is mandatory NHS stock so no flexibility there sadly! Not unless I become a clinical specialist and then I can swan around in normal clothes!! Lol. Actually as long as the trousers are Navy and the shoes are black or navy shoes or trainers, that’s all ok. But the polo shirt has to be the one with our logo on, and for health and safety, sleeves must stop above the elbow.

I wear navy joules chino trousers but with black trainers it all looks a bit.... err..... butch???

Maybe some converse style shoes would look better? Or boat shoes??

I’ve been looking online at clothes and just trying to figure out what I like.

I really like skinny jeans with floaty blouses. And tea dresses with chunky boots. Is that ok? I LOVE dr martins and have a tan leather pair that are falling apart.

I really have no idea do I?!

Just gong to watch that you tube video

This

And this

And kind of this. But I’m a 16/18 so would wear opaque tights or leggings and the dress would need to be floatier and longer.