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I often look scruffy. What easy steps can I take to look neater?

619 replies

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 01/01/2020 18:46

I'm often at the school gate with unkempt hair, a down-filled walking jacket, old, bobbled top, jeans that don't fit, amusing socks from accessorize and scuffed shoes. I work from home most of the time. When I have to go to see clients, I wear dresses and try to look tidy (but still end up with ladders in my tights and looking a state) but when I'm running errands and on the school run, I feel really awkward and messy. It doesn't help that I'm about a stone heavier than I like, and my hair is greying because I can't dye it at the moment. What can I do to smarten myself up and feel less dowdy? I'm 5ft 6 and a size 12, pear shaped with a massive mummy tummy that makes me want to cry, so I have to try to hide it.

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Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 11/02/2020 08:31

My boobies and waist are 12 in most shops (14 in LK Bennett), my actual hips are 10, but then there's the infamous saddlebags. If I size down, I can't get trousers over my thighs, and my boobies try to escape.

OP posts:
GoldenCrunchMunch · 11/02/2020 09:48

What's the coat look like in a size down?

beenaharddaysnight · 11/02/2020 11:25

Where's the coat from??

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 11/02/2020 15:40

Hobbs Camellia coat in bubblegum pink. It doesn't do up in a 10. I've bought it. Will have it taken in at the back if necessary if I succeed in losing weight.

OP posts:
Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 12/02/2020 20:20

Pretty pink coat!

I often look scruffy. What easy steps can I take to look neater?
OP posts:
NiteFlights · 13/02/2020 09:49

Thrilled to see that this thread is still active!

FWIW here’s my take on things -
You’ve got a lovely figure, including excellent lower legs. Your saddlebags are your one problem area but they are really not bad - just avoid accentuating them.
You should take all your coats, especially the teal one, and eBay or donate them (or possibly burn them).
Do not buy the pink coat. Part of the reason I’m saying this is because you appear to have too many clothes. You’re paralysed with indecision partly because you just have too much choice. Also, it’s not great on you. You can look way better. Sorry if this is brutal but an item like that is going to paralyse you further.
Jumpsuits are amazing - AMAZING -on you.
If you like court shoes, get some new ones in slightly more current shapes. Your red pair look very dated. Chuck out any and all lace-up mid-heel Hobbs classic shoes. They are horribly dated.
The white trainers are excellent.
Eschew stretchy jersey tops.
Get rid of your chinos - at least put them away for winter.

I think you need:
To focus on one season at a time. Right now winter/early spring.
A very good quality coat in a ‘neutral’ colour eg navy, dark grey, camel, possibly black. Spend as much as you can afford. A good wool coat is surprisingly waterproof too.
Dark, skinny jeans.
White trainers (you already have)
Possibly coloured trainers. I like New Balance 574 which come in good colours.
A pair of flat chunky ankle boots in a current style. I like DM monkey boots but there are lots of options out there.
A few plain tops and knits that are lightweight and skimming.

I’m at work so will cease my blathering now but remember - less is more! You’re just starting this process so take it gently.

drina27 · 13/02/2020 11:04

@NiteFlights

The OP has bought the pink coat, already.

NiteFlights · 13/02/2020 11:21

Shit! Sorry, OP and thanks @drina27. I don’t know how I failed to notice that!

I stand by what I said in general though - with a coat like that the rest if your outfit needs to be relatively simple. It isn’t working too well with the spotty blouse. With blue jeans & trainers & a fairly simple top/jumper it will look effortlessly smart. It also just occurred to me that it would probably look good with grey/white hair. I know PP suggested a pixie cut - have you thought about going for the chop?

Also ... we haven’t seen any bags. What would you use with the pink coat?

Gannetseatfish · 13/02/2020 11:51

This thread is fantastic - so much good advice. Your brilliant op for letting everyone help you. You look so much more put together and stylish than before. If I saw you on the school run I’d be ashamed!

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 13/02/2020 14:24

Yay or nay?

I often look scruffy. What easy steps can I take to look neater?
OP posts:
GoldenCrunchMunch · 13/02/2020 14:26

I've got disproportionately big boobs and sometimes I buy jackets/coats/cardigans/etc that don't fasten over my boobs, because otherwise they just bag ridiculously on my shoulders back etc and I look like I'm playing dress up in my mum's clothes.

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 13/02/2020 14:37

I think this fits on the shoulders?

I often look scruffy. What easy steps can I take to look neater?
OP posts:
Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 13/02/2020 14:38

And I wore the coat to pick up yesterday and the teacher asked me if I'd lost weight and how I did it.

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Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 13/02/2020 14:40

The Duchess of Cambridge wears court shoes and is younger than I am, so I thought they might still be acceptable...Confused

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 13/02/2020 19:10

Nay to the blue shirt. It seems to be stretched too tightly over your boobs. Also, the buttons are gimmicky.
A problem with the tops you are choosing is that there is too much colour contrast with the trousers/jeans under them. This draws attention straight to the saddlebags.
www.style-makeover-hq.com/clothes-to-suit-sway-back-and-saddlebag-thighs.html
Some good advice here about saddlebags:
Your aim is to find pants, skirts and dresses that skim your thighs, then fall straight, to form a smooth silhouette...
Choose pants that are straight and avoid skinny and tapered styles

<span class="italic">Your best skirt shapes include straight and subtle A-line styles. This includes the bottom part of dresses too</span>

<span class="italic">For your bottom half choose fabrics of medium weight that provide coverage over your hips and thighs, and that flow over your body (that is, not too clingy or too stiff). For example, medium weight knit fabrics such as Ponte. Lined dresses, skirts and pants will also help skim this area</span>

<span class="italic">Avoid obvious pockets on your hips and thighs</span>

<span class="italic">Layer tops over your hip area. Choose tops in a similar color or color value (amount of lightness or darkness) as your bottoms and make sure the outer layer covers your saddlebags and bottom</span>

<span class="italic">Wear bottoms that are darker, or the same, color value (amount of lightness or darkness), as your tops</span>

<span class="italic">Create a high focal point -- a focal point is something that attracts attention. For example: an obvious design detail on the neckline of your top (a bow, a lighter or brighter color, or some ruching); a necklace; statement earrings; a bright lipstick</span>

Basically, you want to draw the eye up and away from your hips.

KM's court shoes are for ultra formal wear and very high heeled. (And she dresses in a style that is far older than she is).
Mid heel court shoes are a different kettle of fish. If you want a court style look I would opt for a nude wedge. The wedge has enough heft to balance the thighs, and nude is great for reducing visual impact (which emphasises the point of colour contrast).
I love the patent lace ups you have on in the photo on Mon 10-Feb-20 14:55:56. That entire look was nice.

I am not sure about that coat with the white trainers. The coat has a formal feel to it. It goes much better with the lace up shoes.

www2.hm.com/en_ca/productpage.0821673001.html
Nice skirt - shape would suit you, and the panels are arranged to form vertical lines, which would minimise the hip width.
The boots are nice too.

If you're going to wear skinny jeans you need to pay attention to the tops you put over them. You could do skinnies plus Breton top plus long, drapey cardigan/duster. Or skinnies plus a tunic top.

Skinnies plus a tailored, long lapel, one button (like the coat) long enough to easily cover your hips black jacket/blazer is a good look. The jacket should have a curved bottom to avoid emphasising the horizontal width. You need something to draw the eye up still - big scarf or pendant. Better still if you can roll/fold up the sleeves to 3/4 length as this will make your arms end visually at your waist.
www.anntaylor.com/the-tall-long-one-button-blazer-in-bi-stretch/495625?skuId=26974026&selectedColor=2222
Blazer ^^
If you take a look under the jacket you may see two 'Shop the Look' examples. The one on the right is worth considering. The low heeled animal print shoes are nice, and the trousers are too.
You could wear the animal print low heeled shoes with jeans too.
The jacket could be even longer.

www.zulily.com/p/black-longline-single-button-blazer-409341-71071711.html?tid=googpla_1851308333_70503804155_64593220_zcvp2_US&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7u2BvJnP5wIVAr7ACh2R_Q5-EAQYHyABEgKCz_D_BwE
This one is nice, though the button placement would be wrong for you and the right angle at the bottom centre isn't the kindest line. You could wear a blazer this length easily.

The beauty of a black blazer is that you can wear it with jeans and sneakers.

www.zulily.com/p/black-pocket-cropped-zip-blazer-5675-71071716.html?pos=ymal&origProduct=71071713
This cropped jacket would look nice with wide leg, high waist trousers under it and a short colourful top underneath with a horizontal or scoop neck at about 6 inches below your chin. You could wear it swinging open for best effect.

KiteflyingKat · 13/02/2020 19:10

The Dutchess wears court shoes because she probably has to have a certain, rather conservative, look for very formal occasions. I doubt she wears them in her spare time, besides, I often think the photos where she looks the best are in her more casual outfits.

One lesson I have learnt (and am still processing) during my ongoing wardrobe overhaul is to have a wardrobe fit for my lifestyle. I only need to be smart 1/2 days per week now and even then semi-smart will do, so I’m really working hard to let go of lots of clothes from my “old” life which are dated and no longer appropriate. I’m drawn towards dresses and high heels but I’m being really really firm with myself and not buying anything that can’t be worn on a regular weekend. I had found myself in the position of having a huge wardrobe but nothing to wear, simply because it was all formal or dressy stuff and after having DC I was a mum in Mat leave.....

I saw a woman the other day wearing high heeled boots at a muddy National Trust place and she just looked so out of place. Part of looking good is being dressed appropriately in my opinion. So unless you are a lawyer attending court every day or similar I’m not sure about court shoes Grin

mathanxiety · 13/02/2020 19:11

(which emphasises the point of colour contrast)

Should read - "best to avoid emphasising the point of colour contrast"

drina27 · 13/02/2020 19:49

So unless you are a lawyer attending court every day or similar I’m not sure about court shoes grin

Court shoes do not have towering heels to be acceptable. Flat pointed courts are very chic, for instance.

What strikes me on the “wearing our wardrobes” thread and its predecessors, is how utterly bland the “outfits” look and how one blends into the next. People should have their own style instead of trying to copy the herd. It seems to me that most posters are clones of one another wearing scruffy jeans and overly printed dresses etc.

drina27 · 13/02/2020 19:50

...have to be towering heels...

drina27 · 13/02/2020 19:54

@Ferrisbuellersdayoff

I think this fits on the shoulders?
Seems to. I actually think the mix of buttons and the white trainers add a bit of interest to the formality of the coat. In other words, the coat can be dressed down as well as up. Why stuck to stuffy, so called rules?

drina27 · 13/02/2020 19:56

The touches of pink in the button/s and socks is playful too. Sweet.

Creweneck · 13/02/2020 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NiteFlights · 14/02/2020 08:22

I actually think the mix of buttons and the white trainers add a bit of interest to the formality of the coat. In other words, the coat can be dressed down as well as up.

Yes. Plus, otherwise how will you get enough wear out of the coat? I don’t see the point of an expensive coat sitting in the wardrobe until it gets dated.

There’s nothing wrong with court shoes if they’re an up-to-date shape and styled well. Nude wedges - no! Mega dated and frumpy. I’m sorry, but they are.
IMO the D of C looks spectacular in evening wear and special occasion outfits (eg at Pippa’s wedding), an attractive jolly hockey posh girl in casual wear, and often quite frumpy (dressed way too old) in her day wear. Having said that, OP if you like her style, have a look at how she wears her casual clothes - she has a uniform that works for her.

I’m going to start reading ‘wearing our wardrobes’ - on that subject, OP, on Instagram there are loads of women doing ‘not buying new’ which show different ways to style the same items - might be worth a look.

Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 19/02/2020 20:52

Hello, everyone. @mathanxiety I've returned the shirt as it was definitely too small across the boobies. Thanks for the links - I can't get onto Zulily without giving them my email address, but the ones I could look at were excellent shapes.

@kiteflyingkat I often have to be very formal, think along the lines of a conference speaker, so I do have a few crepe dresses and court shoes, but don't wear these casually, which is what I'm trying to nail.

@Creweneck I think you're right - t-rex arms Shock I'll have to pay attention to sleeves.

@NiteFlights I own nude wedges. From M&S Blush. I have never worn them outside but thought they went with a wedding outfit I never ended up wearing.

OP posts:
Ferrisbuellersdayoff · 19/02/2020 20:52

Ooh, and @NiteFlights I dunno about bags. I have lots of bags, but they are not trendy.

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