I often look scruffy. What easy steps can I take to look neater?

[Ferrisbuellersdayoff]

I'm often at the school gate with unkempt hair, a down-filled walking jacket, old, bobbled top, jeans that don't fit, amusing socks from accessorize and scuffed shoes. I work from home most of the time. When I have to go to see clients, I wear dresses and try to look tidy (but still end up with ladders in my tights and looking a state) but when I'm running errands and on the school run, I feel really awkward and messy. It doesn't help that I'm about a stone heavier than I like, and my hair is greying because I can't dye it at the moment. What can I do to smarten myself up and feel less dowdy? I'm 5ft 6 and a size 12, pear shaped with a massive mummy tummy that makes me want to cry, so I have to try to hide it.

I am a scruffy one too. Work from home. Slob around in tracky bottoms and sweatshirt or fleece. I dread someone knocking on the door. I could improve this by adopting a home work uniform.

If I go out, I put on a beanie hat that suits me, a waterproof coat that is a decent outdoorsy brand, wear jeans and smartish trainers and don't look too scary. Make-up is minimal - eyeliner or mascara, concealer, blusher and tinted lip balm.

Boots, a decent coat and smartish hat can cover a multitude of sins.

Tights. If the dress looks ok with them, wear opaques. Otherwise get ladder resist ones and carry a spare pair.

I change as soon as I get home, so my outdoor uniform is not worn around the house. This means that the jeans stay clean and don't need washing so often.

Borrowed the Marie Kondo book from the library again today and will try to shop my wardrobe for home uniform ideas. I have so many clothes but always wear the tatty old favourites.

MadameF... size 12 is a medium. I wear or choose clothes across the size range to fit close or loosely depending on their purpose. I can be anything from a 34 to 40 in Euro sizes depending on what I am buying and the fit I want. The UK retailers have normalised vanity sizing, but I also wear my great aunt's dresses from the 40s and 50s, and her 16s are now equivalent to a 12. Some of that is because people are bigger and taller, because they are better nourished (and over-nourished) some is because the sizing conventions have been tossed aside completely. Even within single stores, there's no consistency in sizing.

@MadameF I'm definitely bigger than I want to be, having piled on two stone after having my son but having only lost 1st. This is not from lack of exercise, though: I do plenty. I eat too much, and getting up at 5am won't help with that.

Xingming i have no wish to derail this thread, the OP said she wan a stone overweight and a size 12. I live in France and can assure you the a size 12 or 40 in the UK is 16 or 44 in European shops.

Ferris no getting up at 5am isn't easy! Can you do any sport later in the day?if you work from home can you manage your time differently to do exercise ?

Sorry Ferris just read your last post..can you change your diet if you already do lits of spot? Or just follow a French women's regime to always be immaculate ?

Yes, I do have to change my diet for various reasons. I'm not officially overweight (according to BMI charts, anyway) but I'm big for me and have a huge belly.

Thanks to everyone who suggested taking the naice clothes off when coming home - that's a highly achievable quick win in the style stakes. Next step is getting decent shoes and actually looking after the things.

UK size 12 is not slim

I think the French definition of slim isn't the same as the UK definition. I am slim in England, but middle-aged in France. I am nearly 64, TBF, so not really a contender.

"UK size 12 is not slim. It is the equivalent of 16 or more in European size. Get up 2 hours earlier, do some exercise and then get properly dressed. If you lose weight you can look good in jeans, no need for dresses."

There's always one.

Ferris I look overweight at 20 BMI
I think you need to love yourself more, find your 'good'size and try and look presentable when you leave the house. You don't need lots of make up and if you lose a little weight you could look good it d in a bin bag if you wanted too.

Xingming Carole Middleton is yore she and looks good!

Gel nails every 2 weeks
Simple earrings you don't have to change or remove for sport or sleep
Eyebrows done (threaded, and dyed if you can which is super low maintenance- I can never be bothered with pencil)
Tinted moisturiser and blusher at minimum
A decent coat (structured shape, wool)
Smart shoes (flat boots are fine)

I think grey hair looks cool

Slightly stale I'm sure you are perfect bit for most women to stay fit and slim exercise and self discipline is required.

@Laiste

Clean hair smartens you up 100%. It's a great starting point to aim at having clean hair either styled or put back in a nice ponytail/plait each day. Nice clean hair immediately makes you feel perked up.

This is certainly part of what makes me feel minging and untidy. I am trying to reduce my hair washing to help with my skin allergy (GP thinks I am allergic to my hair care but I'm not convinced, hence I'm playing hunt the allergen).

If i go out in smart clothes i'll change out of them and put my 'slobby stuff' (usually yoga pants and a vest top or cozy jumper) when i'm home and wash the good stuff if necessary or hang it up again if not. It reduces wear and tear on your good things and makes you more aware of dress up/dress down looks.

I'm definitely going to do this.

Keep your nails nice. A short french gel polish lasts a good 4 weeks and looks lovely 24/7 with no effort. If you dont want to do that then just keep them neat and clean and a swipe of clear gloss on them.

Can't do varnish for the time being, but I could look after my hands and nails better (they are a dry and uneven state).

If you can afford to get your eyebrows dyed and plucked at a salon this lasts ages while you forget all about them on a daily basis. It frames your face and makes you look more 'done'.

Completely agree, and having been getting my white blonde eyebrows tinted and shaped for over twenty years. I'm off the tint for now, though, because of the dermatitis.

A pair of little stud earings which are comfy enough to sleep in and go with everything (plain diamond like stone or plain silver/gold for eg) which you can leave in and forget about is another zero effort thing which makes you look like you made an effort on the day, but didn't smile

Solid gold advice. Definitely doing this.

"Find a pair of jeans or jeggings which fit you well and are comfy. Get them in different colours and it forces you out of your usual colour pallet a bit. M&S do ones which look like uncomfy trendy jeans (in lots of different shapes for different bodies) but are stretchy and soft."

I have never, ever found the perfect jeans. Always feel like an utter mess whilst wearing them.

"Slightly stale I'm sure you are perfect bit for most women to stay fit and slim exercise and self discipline is required."

And your "advice" about how OP needs to lose weight doesn't help them NOW, does it? Maybe when OP starts to feel a bit happier with themselves they may feel motivated to lose weight IF they want to.

I have total sympathy with you reacting to something OP, especially as you don't know what it is.

I react to lots of random things. One thing that can make me feel better is buffing my nails instead of painting them.

@Mumblechum0
1. Get your hair cut into a style which doesn't need more than a brush through in the morning to look tidy.

Hair is cut well, and frequently, and I've never styled it beyond parting and combing.

2. Don't understand w,hy you can't get your grey covered? Couldn't you just bung a home box colour on it?

Avoiding likely allergens whilst I sort out an allergic reaction on my face :(

3. Bin all worn out/bobbled/mismatched clothes and buy 10 pairs of opaque tights, keep a spare pair in your briefcase/car in case you need to change them before a meeting.

Good tip. Am heading to my tights drawer asap.

4. Buy some nice jewellery eg unusual silver pendant or something to look like you're "together"

Adding earrings to shopping list.

The limited colour palette advice is good. As is buying a JML ‘bobble off’ for your jumpers!

Also, ditch the bloody down jacket. Nobody, nobody, looks chic in them. Now is the perfect time to look for a well-tailored wool coat in a dark colour, in the sales. I bought this full price about a year ago but it’s now in the sale, and it’s gorgeous.

www.winserlondon.com/shop/clothing/coats-and-jackets/wool-tailored-coat

get a really smart coat

Department stores such as John Lewis do complimentary stylist sessions. It's worth booking to get an external opinion on what suits your needs

@StrawberryPi

Get a good smart but warm coat, something like a trench coat or tailored wool coat.

Adding trench coat to shopping list - this is a good idea, thank you.

Make sure you always carry spare tights. The aforementioned good coat also helps with this, as well as a smart handbag (doesn't meed to be expensive) and good, clean and well looked after shoes.

I'm so, so bad with shoes. I can never find any I really like, so I just get ones I don't mind and then run them into the ground! I have a couple of good bags I should dust off and use instead of the battered Cath Kidston thing I usually carry

I know plenty of "overweight" women who look elegant, smart and well put together. The trick is dressing in smart (tailored rather than stretchy), well fitting clothes that suit your shape and colouring e.g. a well fitting pair of jeans and soft cotton (ironed!) shirt or blouse.

I tend to avoid shirts as I have large boobies. I think I may have to save up for a personal shopper visit to a department store.

Grey hair can look great as long as you have a good cut. What length is your hair, perhaps we could give you some style ideas?

It's in a chin length bob. I looked exhausted with whitening hair before I started dyeing it in my early thirties.

As a size 12 you really aren't big! I bet noone else would even notice your tummy but if you feel self conscious of it there are a lot of tummy minimising styles out there. Try tops and dresses that are fitted around the waist but then flare over the tummy and hips for example.

I occasionally get asked when I'm due.

I actually look better since i stopped brushing my hair.

Gives it a bit of shape and volume if i just tip my head upside down, massage the roots to get rid of any clumps and then boof it a bit for some shape.