Quick fix to boost appearance and self esteem

[Tiredandgrumpytonight]

I’ve gained a fair bit of weight recently and have also been very tired, busy and skint. For these reasons my appearance and self esteem have gone dramatically downhill. To the point that apart from colleagues and family, I can barely look anyone in the eye and just have this constant feeling of shame for how terrible I look.

My hair is shoulderish length and I’m currently growing out colour which is obviously not a good look so I’m wearing it up a lot. I’ve got quite a few shorter bits round the front at my hairline so end up with that attractive devil horn look.

Make up is basic - foundation, eyebrows (badly done, I’m certain), blusher and mascara. My look doesn’t change from day to night. It’s my only look. My skin is relatively clear most of the month but is very pale and not in a pale and interesting way. It’s fairly red in areas and blotchy so when I do go without make up I just feel awful. I look like death warmed up.

Clothes - due to having gained a lot of weight and going up a couple of sizes I’m down to very much the bare minimum, especially with work clothes and am loathe to replace them because of course I’m convinced I’ll manage to lose the weight one day. So things are probably a bit more worn than I’d like them to be and I maybe only have 5 ‘outfits’ for work that I wear week on week. We’re also trying to be VERY careful with money in order to pay off some credit card so I feel really really guilty if I spend any money on myself.

So any wise words for me? I want to just feel more level with others and not ashamed to even look at people. I feel like people judge me for how bad I look and maybe even if affects my children.

I was thinking of maybe trying to get a couple of treatments done so that I feel and look more put together without having to load make up on every morning and without spending a fortune. Any suggestions?

Thanks!

This thread gave me an idea when the OP said she was skint. I know a few people on S&B have a “hoard” of products that they haven’t used yet and might never use. It would be great if we could do some kind of matching system to help people declutter as one woman’s clutter is another woman’s treasure. No idea how it could be implemented in practice though!

A haircut, a well-fitting bra and drinking lots of water and no alcohol - I find being really hydrated improves my skin hugely.

This thread is hilarious. The OP has posted that she is really short of money, but people have suggested spending £100 - £150 on a salon cut/colour, £20 bath oil and eyeshadow palettes from Lancombe!

I'd recommend l'oreal creme gloss in the colour of your roots (actually a shade or two lighter as lengths usually are). About £5 and makes hair lovely and shiny and isnt permanent so shouldn't change your growing out colour.
Then I'd recommend buying the vit e range from superdrug, maybe £15 to buy day and night cream and cleanser, perhaps a body butter too and spend some time using it - wash your face for at least 60 seconds and it will exfoliate and brighten skin with no extra product. Massage moisturiser in for a minute too.
Sugar scrub with olive oil is a good idea on body once a week.
Then as PP said water and fruit and veg, maybe a clear nail varnish, and read an article or watch a tutorial on eyebrows and pluck and dye them at home, another £5.

OP please don't scrub your face with salt and sugar. It may cause more damage. There's a really good value brand called The Ordinary where products are around £7 to £12 each. There are some guides on there depending on your skin type but using gentle acid serums will help your skin much more than salt. For make up I suggest you go to a dept store and get them to match you but don't just buy it then. Get three different sample pots from different counters so you can put it on normally then go out in day light to see which look right and not orange. It's really hard to see if foundation is right with those store lights.

Ok so I’m going to prioritise hair, eyebrows and painting my own nails. Then work on trying to improve my make up - I think even improving my application skills will make a difference. YouTube all the way for that I presume.

I used to get my eyebrows threaded and I still do but probably only 3 times a year at the very most and it’s just not enough.

Are HD/henna brows worth looking into? Or is a thread and tint just as good?

I think the weight gain has caused everything to spiral to the poster who asked. I’m so conscious of it all the time. I’m constantly thinking people are looking at me thinking wtf happened to her? All I feel is shame about it. And it’s not even my bloody fault! Thyroid.

Will also try to improve diet and water intake and get out walking more. So miserable at this time of year though.

Thanks everyone.

I've just discovered Suzie O'Neil on Instagram,she does really nice natural makeup and I like watching her as she's not all highlighter on the end of your nose and bizarre contouring.

Ha that made me snort, highlighter on the end of your nose. I didn’t even think to look on Instagram for make up stuff, stupidly. So I’ll check her out thanks!

The things that actually make a difference are free OP. Get outside, headphones in and walk. And drink heaps of water. In a month you'll notice a big difference and you'll feel amazing quickly. Vitamin tablets and something for gut health will help too (probiotic).

You’ve had a lot of good advice already. My biggest tip is a gel nail manicure. I get mine done every two weeks at a cost of £25 each time but it’s well worth it: they stay looking pristine the whole time until I get them done the next time - glossy, perfect and no hassle with fixing chipped varnish and/or stressing over keeping them looking good. It’s so nice to not have to worry about maintaining them, and it means the bare minimum is already done so I always look well put together even if I just throw on a tiny bit of make up.

Nails are a complete luxury and take a lot of up keep, if you do your own at home and use the No7 topcoat which is a fiver you can print on top of wet varnish and they go rock hard immediately and if you use a pale varnish it's more forgiving than a dark one.

Some good ideas on this thread. I would agree with a good hair cut but not a colour as you will be paying £100 which is just too much and will require upkeep. Look after your skin, hands and nails at home. Be kind to yourself and don't put yourself under too much pressure before Christmas but work to lose the excess weight in the new year. I started last February and have managed to get to a healthier weight. It has made me feel better about myself - so I now take more care of myself.

Start eating healthier. You’ll see that it also improves your mental wellbeing.

Look in the mirror and see what parts of your face are really beautiful (eyes for example or lips) and buy some budget makeup to emphasize them (Maybelline is good for lipsticks and you can find lovely eye make up from Revolution).

Charity shops to find cheap, office appropriate clothes in your new, temporary size.

Wash and iron them with care - well kept clothes are key.

Keep your shoes well polished.

Even if you can't afford a 'big' session at the hairdressers, a good cut and a box colour a shade lighter than your own hair will liven you up.

Agree with other posters, there’s absolutely no need to spend ££££ on makeup if you’re skint. People suggesting high end makeup - why??
I used to buy expensive makeup all the time, but have switched to cheaper brands now - there are so many brands making brilliant cosmetics and skincare these days.
My favourite every day lipstick is by Primark - 99p. Their range of foundations is fantastic, and I’m sure they do really pale ones.
Revolution is also great, as is Collection and E.L.F.
@Splodgetastic that’s a great idea.
I started a thread on here a few years ago whereupon I sent out all of my beauty product hoard to different posters who needed various things.
I actually just did a clear out yesterday and have loads.
OP - let me know if there are specific things you’d like, I’d be more than happy to send them to you.

Primark make up is really really good.

I think Splodge has hit the nail on the head. Great idea!

OP, sorry to hear it's the thyroid that has caused weight gain. When I developed Grave's disease, I put on a good 10 kilos. Even though you are supposed to lose weight with an over-active thyroid, I was the rare exception who piled it on. Made me feel terrible. So I can sympathise. I assume you are being treated for your thyroid (underactive?) so as it kicks in, you should start to lose weight slowly especially if you eat well/are active.

Good luck. Sounds like you are in the right mindset and am sure you will start to feel better about yourself very soon.

Hair - check out whether there are any trainee sessions available as they will be much cheaper .

Would you feel confident enough to go and get a bit of a free make over at the beauty counters ? There is absolutely no need to buy anything . Or look at some of the You Tube tutorials .

Evening out your face tone really helps so get a CC foundation to start with . I believe the Wilko line of cosmetics is very good too .

As regards clothes , stick to self colours /no patterns unless it is a scarf or similar to pep up an outfit . I also believe people don't notice what others wear .

Have you tried Revolution foundation/concealer OP? I find most brands too orange in the palest shade but Revolution has a fab shade range and matches me better than any other foundation I've ever had! You can get it in Superdrug for under £10 (can't remember exact price but it's really affordable!)

Watch I followed it exactly and got loads of really enthusiastic compliments from friends who I see all the time and who never compliment me. They couldn't tell what was different as I always wear make up but all said how lovely I looked that day. Like you I'm overweight (my friends aren;t) exhausted and have been ill, so it was lovely to get compliments. I hadn't had any for ages.

Next, buy a capsule wardrobe of clothes you really like that fits you right now. M&S do great dark straightlegged jeans (not skinnies or boot cut) that are very comfortable and forgiving. They also do good smart work trousers with a bit of give in them. I feel so much better chcking these on every day instead of scruffy loungewear or jeans that cut into me and create a muffin top.

Add some long line tunics in colours you love, some soft cardigans or blazers, as layering helps break up the big wide look. And get yourself some gorgeous earrings or a pendant, as these send out the message that you are making an effort.

Get your brows shaped professionally and ask your hairdresser for an interim colour to help you blend out the old colour. If that's too pricey, there are good over-the counter colours. (I don't colour my hair so can't advise on these, but I have several friends who colour their own hair and it looks lovely.)

I'm similar to you op, but of self love goes a long way! Haircut & dye 100%, I felt like a new woman & it made me smile when I got mine done.

Get clothes that fit you now so you feel good, you don't need to spend a lot to get some basics and dress them up with a scarf or necklace as it's funny how they can transform your look. Use colour as well, so get black trousers or skirts and colourful tops to help brighten your look. If you're plus size have a look at yours as you don't need to spend a huge amount. Or Sainsburys have got sales on clothes that are nice!

I know people said treatments are a waste of money but a bit of pampering is good for you. I'd recommend a massage to help you have some me time, feeling pampered is worth the money. Treat well is good to look for deals & reviews.

By far the most important thing you need to sort out here is your self confidence! There are lots of books and websites out there about feeling great and deserving of nothing but the best as a woman regardless of weight, age or looks G L Lambert is one of my favourites. For weight loss I swear by intermittent fasting I find 16:8 easiest to stick to. So that's also worth reading up on. Hair you can colour yourself for an immediate boost to how you look and feel you can pick up box dye for under a tenner the best one I think is loreal preference. You don't need to wear lots of make up . Investing in a primer with added blur and/or radiance will make a big difference with or without makeup. And clothes wise I don't think there's anything wrong with rotating five outfits as long as they suit your body shape you'll look and feel great in them. I don't bother with nails but eyebrows I think do make a big difference to how 'put together' you look so I'd recommend getting those done threading is best. If money is tight you could ask for some of these things as Christmas presents maybe?

Just thought of a couple more things new bra, absolutely, makes a world of difference! Bravissimo are the best fitters out there! Also, probiotics either as capsules or in yoghurts like activia, actimel, kefir and so on to instantly flatten your stomach and a really good multivitamin will make a big difference too to your skin, hair, mood and general 'glowiness' good ones I've tried are menopace plus, seven seas perfect prime 7 and the perfectil ones

And new clothes, yes, try the supermarkets, Asda has some great stuff in at the moment, I'm curvy so I'm not really a fan of Primark for clothes but I find them great for cheap and cheerful shoes and bags

maybedoctor sneering, stupidly and inverse snobbery never pleasant traits in a person. I didn’t see you make one positive suggestion btw. The OP didn’t say she wanted to spend no money. Lots of people had different suggestions about where most effective. I don’t think £200 - £300 is excessive for a revamp push when felt utterly needed. The hair and make up would last 6 months.