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Original poster

Looking old beyond her years

64 replies

Toooldat19 · 01/12/2019 11:19

NC for this as I am looking for advice for Dd.

Dd is only 19 but looks a lot older.

Everyone she meets thinks she is nearer 35.

She has always looked older.

Even as a 6 month old, facially she looked like she was ready for school.
Since leaving school she now looks at least 10 years older than her classmates.

It is giving her a complex and she is now worried that at 22 she could end up looking like a 45 year old.

She doesn’t smoke or drink

Is there anything that makes you look younger. She doesn’t have any wrinkles she just looks like a well preserved woman in her mid 30s

OP posts:
MoltonSilver · 01/12/2019 20:34

I have school friend like that - always looked about 35. Now we're all closer to 50 she still looks 35.

Original poster
Toooldat19 · 01/12/2019 20:51

Her hair was definitely shoulder length at 6 months.
Very long, thick and very dark hair.

She does have a very thin face. She always has done and she is quite slim.

I have tried to tell her that usually the ones that look older at her age just seem to stay the same and everyone else ages around them.

It is just knocking her confidence when someone says to her “when you get to our age” or looks at her funnily when she says she is going to Ibiza with her friend and someone said “aren’t you passed that stage”

She looks a lot like a certain relative of mine and she too looked old beyond her years at 25 then seemed to look younger than her years well onto her 40s

We are a mix of varying nationalities and I think there must be a genetic factor in there.

Her sibling is only 2 years younger and has a real baby face. Looks about 12.

I was hoping to get some tips on how to look a little younger when she is out.

She does dress like a teen outside of work suits.
I was wondering if dyeing her hair blond would knock a few years off.

OP posts:
Ellapaella · 01/12/2019 21:12

Has there been a name change? Hmm this thread is very confusing. A 6 month old with shoulder length hair? Any chance we could see a photo as I'm quite intrigued.

JumpyLiz · 01/12/2019 21:18

I think strong bone structure can make you appear older when you're young.

The flip side is strong bone structure can make you appear younger when you're old.

Northernsoullover · 01/12/2019 21:18

This thread does seem strange but bizarrely I have met two people in RL who I thought were a decade older than they were. It wasn't their skin or hair though. I'm guessing it must have been their general demeanor.

PippiDeLena · 01/12/2019 21:38

Does she wear teenage style make up, or more older style? Maybe a more youthful haircut would suit her, or dying her hair?

Maybe she just has a lot of gravitas so people assume she's older. That's actually a gift, even though it mightn't feel like it now!

shitpark · 01/12/2019 22:04

Does she use very harsh products on her skin? I ask because I knew someone once who suffered with acne in early teens and used products to dry the spots out, but they dried out her skin and she looked older as a result. As soon as she changed this, her skin improved

gypsywater · 01/12/2019 22:06

What is a thin face? Thin as in thin skin or thin as in narrow?

Butterymuffin · 01/12/2019 22:36

I also think she'll be one of those people who don't look youthful but also won't age. She'll have the last laugh in 30 years' time, though I appreciate that doesn't help right now..

Does she drink enough water? Sleep well? Looking tired is ageing and those two things might just exacerbate her mature look.

cerios156 · 02/12/2019 01:24

@Toooldat19 (and I absolutely don't mean any offense by this) I'm wondering if maybe you and she both don't have a really accurate idea of teenage dressing? Like, sometimes the differences between an outfit that looks very young and one that looks slightly dated or more mature can be really subtle.

The fact that she wears suits to work at 19 feels a bit OTT, as when you say she's the manager of her department (which is awesome, btw) I have to assume you don't mean she's overseeing a bank or is head of sales at a major shipping firm. Could a more youthful jumper/blouse/collared shirt type outfit soften the look a little?

If she wears heavy makeup or a very elaborate, shorter hairstyle it might also be aging her.

Besides that, I think some people just have faces that look older than their years. Have her embrace the authority that comes with looking older while enjoying the energy of being young 😊

Nat6999 · 02/12/2019 02:16

One of the managers where I worked was a real bitch when I first started, I said to one of the other juniors when we had both had a telling off for talking, not to worry she would be retiring soon. Turned out she was only 40, I had her down for at least late 50's if not older. She is still there now & still looks exactly the same, I don't know if it is the clothes she wears, she looks like she is in a time warp that stuck at 1975, she wears A line skirts, american tan tights, sensible lace up shoes, a white blouse & tank top with Deirdre glasses. She was married to one of the inspectors but he ran off with someone else from the office, he was quite good looking & we could never see what he saw in her.

aveenos · 02/12/2019 06:28

does she need wear a lot of heavy make up? I find this is something which makes a lot of young woman look older?

Does she go to the tanning studio? Neighbour's DD does and she is only early 20s but it makes her look old too.

mousemousse · 02/12/2019 06:38

So mainly it's not being IDd, which I'd consider standard for a tall 19 yo, and a few creepy guys feigning ignorance. I don't think she has anything to worry about.

pictish · 02/12/2019 06:41

Some people just do have older looking faces. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what it is, but it’s definitely a thing.

I remember being followed round Tesco by a gang of silly teenage girls last year, the ringleader of which kept making puking noises beside me (don’t ask me why, idiotic high jinks I assume) and when I eventually turned to confront them, I was struck by how old the ‘leader’ looked. She was plastered in make up which didn’t help but though I knew her to be sixteen, facially she looked in her 30s.

I have seen her since a few times (she always scuttles away when she sees me because I gave them a blunt telling off) and it’s still the same...she looks 35. I can’t explain it.

I don’t know what to advise as your face is your face. Trowelled on make up doesn’t help any though.

pictish · 02/12/2019 06:44

Yes also the fake tan, which detracts from youthful, dewy skin and makes some women/girls look hard and lived-in. It’s a horrible look and I have no idea why so many subscribe to it.

JustaScratch · 02/12/2019 06:45

I looked a lot older than my age for a long time (people thinking I was mid-20s when i was 12-13). It's slowed down and now in my early 40s I'm looking pretty good for my age and people regularly assume I'm in my 30s. So the two don't necessarily follow. One thing is true though - worrying ages you!

pictish · 02/12/2019 06:46

So if she’s a fan of the orange face, thick make up look, maybe that doesn’t help?

AnyFucker · 02/12/2019 06:56

This thread is making me laugh, God knows why

QueenOfTheFae · 02/12/2019 08:46

What does your dd do? Shes done so well to be a manager at 19

Sparklyring · 02/12/2019 10:42

I have a friend like this, all through school when we were out people assumed she was a parent. Even early 30s she now looks a good 10 years older. It's her hair, the way she dresses combined with a very large bust makes her look very matronly

shinysinkredemption · 02/12/2019 10:46

I don't think there's much you can do about it ... but as she gets older it will matter less. I have a good friend whose forehead was massively prematurely lined by age 25 but otherwise seemed young - dress, hairstyle etc. She had some Spanish ancestry so perhaps they all got a bit too much sun! It didn't hold her back at all and she married a young looking guy the same age.

kjhkj · 02/12/2019 10:49

I don't think we can really advise without a photo.

Can we have a photo of her?

MarshaBradyo · 02/12/2019 10:50

Is it more her features than any signs of ageing?

In which case she’ll most likely find it will even out and she’ll look closer to her age as she gets older

maidenover · 02/12/2019 10:53

I met a 6 month old baby with shoulder length hair once, it was dark and curly, she looked adorable.

If she’s been this way all her life then I doubt there’s anything she can do.

ThinkIamflyingundertheradar · 02/12/2019 15:12

There are quite a few people I know who looked middle aged from their teen years onwards. The advantage is that now they are middle aged they look exactly the same as they did when they were teenagers.

I was baby faced until my late 30s and then suddenly life caught up with me and now I look the same age as them. ☹️

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