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Original poster

Wedding dress doubts. Again!

33 replies

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:10

I’ve put my deposit down on my dress last month, almost ordered another two dresses but I am the most indecisive person in the world! I really liked it and was happy with my decision when I put the deposit down but I’ve been google searching it constantly and looking at it on real brides and I’m no longer sure it’s the one? I never had the ‘bridal’ feeli everyone talks about just thought it was the best of everything I tried and could really see anything I didn’t like about it (at the time) now I’m wondering if the lace looks a bit cheap, whether I like the slight plunging neckline etc etc. The dress I’m referring to is in the first pic.

So I was browsing stillwhite to try and find more pictures of real brides in my dress and came across a dress I tried last year and absolutely loved but vetoed as it was more than I wanted to pay (at that time) however fast forward to September this year and I ended up paying the exact amount for a dress I didn’t love as much. The dress on still white has been reduced from £1700 to £500, has never been worn and is near exactly my size. I’m getting married in Cyprus and I feel the crepe material is more appropriate for a destination wedding than the heavy lace on the dress if already paid for.

My wedding is in June so I don’t know if I just panic bought my dress because I was running out of time or if I will put it on again when it comes into the shop and remember why I loved it so much

I’ve already paid £830 for my dress and another £830 is due when it comes in. So I stand to lose a substantial amount of money if I change my mind, but then again with the second dress only being £500 it will cost me less overall. So I will have shelled out £1330 for a £1700 dress which isn’t all in all too bad. Plus I would be paying more in alterations as I was actually going to have off the shoulder straps custom made for my dress. The dress on still white comes with them

I’ve attached two pics. My dress I’ve ordered is the first pic, it’s a Stella york (mine is in Ivory, not in the blush pink on the pic). The one on still white is the second dress it as a san Patrick by pronovias

OP posts:

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:17

Am I gonna doubt just absolutely every dress I ever get? 😂

OP posts:

Apileofballyhoo · 09/10/2019 10:22

I like the second dress better.

MadisonAvenue · 09/10/2019 10:24

Both are lovely but I prefer the second one.
If you don't get it are you always going to regret it?

Spied · 09/10/2019 10:26

I think they are a very similar 'look'.
I do like the off the shoulder straps on 2 though.
You've already justified getting no.2 - go for it.

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:29

Thanks for your honesty. I don’t know if I will regret it forever? I go between loving my first dress and having doubts about it all the time. I’m worried if I get the second dress I’ll do the exact same thing, and I will kick myself about losing the £800. (However I will have saved money overall) and the resale value of both dresses will be roughly the same u would imagine as I intend to sell my dress after the wedding

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Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:31

Only thing about the second dress. I tried it in last year and the only fault I could find is it wasn’t all that forgiving around the tummy area, however I was roughly a size 12 back then, now I’m an 8 -10. Still have a slight mum pooch, would a pair of Spanx sort that out okay? Would I be roasting in huge knickers in the Cyprus sun?

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autumnautumn · 09/10/2019 10:32

I like them both and you should go with the one you love. But... I think the material on the skirt of the second one wouldn't be very forgiving, I think it would show every lump and bump. Somehow to me the first one looks more expensive but I do still like them both.

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:34

Here is a pic of a lady in my dress who has had the off the shoulder straps added to the dress as I intend to do

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PrincessHoneysuckle · 09/10/2019 10:35

They are both stunning

sweetheart · 09/10/2019 10:40

If I were you I'd phone around and find somewhere that has the dress in stock so you can try it on again. Sometimes when you remember things back you can romanticise things.

sweetheart · 09/10/2019 10:41

And yes - you will be roasting in the cyprus sun. We went to a hotel in Cyprus that had a liot of weddings when we were there - ever single day the bride looked like she was melting!

user1474894224 · 09/10/2019 10:43

Firstly the resale value of the dresses will not be the same. If your dress is now available at £500 - then the resale will be tiny. The dress which costs £1800 - if it is still priced at £1800 when you come to sell it will hold value better. (wedding dresses are very hard to sell - you can sell them best when they are current season, haven't had much if any alterations, and are in immaculate condition. Also i they are very expensive you may find a bride looking for a bargain.)

Both dresses are gorgeous. Are you expecting that you might need alterations? If so were they going to be done in house for the first dress? The convenience of this shouldn't be ignored.

Have you actually tried on the second dress in real life? Did you take pictures of yourself in it?

(Personally I prefer the lace one - and think the picture of the real bride in it is stunning. But it is your day and it's a shame to wonder 'what if'. For what it's worth I was married earlier this year - bought 3 different dresses - much much cheaper than yours as not wedding dresses.....I was happy in the one I wore, but really my memories are of the day, the people, the photos, the input from friends and family and my dress plays a tiny part in that.)

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:46

That’s exactly what I’m doing @sweetheart the shop i tried it on in last year still has it in stock so I’m going to give it a try on. Think when it boils down to it I would be happy to walk down the aisle in either of them, but there’s just this huge pressure to look absolutely perfect on your big day that you could find fault in every dress you look at no matter how beautiful it is.

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Whatstodo2019 · 09/10/2019 10:46

They are both of the brands I have been following and love the most!
I really like them both but prefer the Pronovias one.

Ilikewinter · 09/10/2019 10:50

Both look nice however I hope you are getting married indoors. I was a bridesmaid last Spetember for a wedding in Cyprus and it was all outdoors - but under a gazebo type structure and OMG we all melted. The bride wore a loose style tea length style dress and even she was sweating all day......I cant imagine those dresses - whilst georgous - will be at all comfortable in the heat.

lookingatthings · 09/10/2019 10:53

Going against the grain here to say I think the first one is beautiful, especially with the straps added, and the second looks cheap.
The material might be better for Cyprus (home country!) but that depends on how much of your reception and celebrations will be outside. If you're inside for a lot then you'll be in air conditioning so it won't make a difference.
I'd stick with the first. The blush colour is fabulous as well.

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:56

@user1474894224 I agree the real bride looks amazing in it, I do think it is far nicer in the Ivory and the off the shoulder straps look like they were always meant to be on the dress. The second dress is valued at £1700 when bought new, other sellers on stillwhite are selling it at around £800 - £900. I am a bit dubious as to why the seller is selling it for only £500 which puts me off slightly tbh, wondering if it could be too good to be true? The seller tells me she also had a last minute change of heart and that’s why she’s selling the dress the price is low as she wants a quick sale. It would only need minor alterations as it is in my exact size around the waist and hips and just slightly larger around the bust.

My first dress would almost certainly need taken in around the top and obviously I am having the straps custom made aswell.

My dress is the latest collection from Stella york so will probably hold its value better, however although the second dress is from an older collection it is pronovias which is a more expensive brand is it not? The wear and tear should be similar on either of them since the second dress has never been worn, only tried on.

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popehilarious · 09/10/2019 10:56

I really really dislike the falling down straps. Looks like something from New Look. First one is far better!

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 10:58

@Ilikewinter yes we are getting married in a church and it until 5pm the reception is outdoors but we won’t be sitting down for the wedding breakfast until roughly 7:30ish so it will have hopefully have cooled down by then and I won’t melt! 😂

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Yukka · 09/10/2019 11:04

The one you've ordered is the best in my opinion. Quality looks significantly better and it will have more weight with the layers to create the right shape. I had the same dilemma with mine, bought the second dress, but stuck to my guns and went with the first dress which was the right decision.

It's not as easy to sell dresses as you might think... 2.5 yrs on I still have it.

They are both so similar in style you need to go for quality here. The straps I'm a bit mixed- as it depends what you're doing with your hair and veil or no veil.

You've no reason to doubt your first decision honestly, and if you're not sure, going and try it on again, it can make all the difference.

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 11:19

@Yukka I have a plain single layer cathedral length ‘barely there’ veil undecided what I’m doing with my hair yet. Not sure if the picture of the second dress makes it look cheaper here is a pic of it on the model although I would definitely wear the white panel under the sheer section

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Chillisauceboss · 09/10/2019 11:22

Just add straps to your dress it's lovely!!

For what it's worth I think everyone has a wobble about their dress!!

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 12:10

I’ve just made an appoint at my local bridal boutique that stocks the dress to go try it on. They’re selling it at £1770! £500 is such a bargain.

Hope I’m not making a huge mistake and just confusing myself even further. Maybe I will try it on and hate it and it won’t be anything like I remember (secretly hoping that’s the case because although I will save money overall, I will kick myself for losing the deposit on my first dress)

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LittleSweet · 09/10/2019 13:06

I like the dress you ordered better. The fabric drapes better. It looks more expensive than the second one. Also now you've ordered the dress, stop looking at other dresses. The other thing is to buy both, change into the second dress for the evening do. The second one looks more like an evening dress because of the skirt part. You can't go wrong with either, tbh.

Original poster

Mumtobe193 · 09/10/2019 13:30

I think although on paper they’re quite similar dresses I think they have totally different vibes to them. The first dress is very feminine and romantic the second is probably more sleek and sophisticated. Not sure how I want to feel on my big day and which is more me?

Also have slight concerns about the bra situation with the dress I’ve ordered. The back has a sheer panel so couldn’t really wear a bra and of course there’s a slight plunge in the front. As far as I can remember when I tried it on it looked okay without a bra, but I would rather wear one if possible. Any recommendations for a strapless backless bra that actually provides decent’ish support?

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