Who do you follow for style advice?

[BizzzzyBee]

Now that I’m nearly 40 I have no idea what to wear! My wardrobe is really boring and has been the same for the past 20 years - tees, jumpers, jeans and trainers, occasionally a “nice” top or a maxi dress in summer. DH complains that I still dress like a student (some of my clothes are the same ones I wore as a student).

I just look really bland and frumpy. The clothes I have aren’t really “grown up” clothes. I have no idea what’s trendy or where to shop or how to put outfits together. Who do you follow for outfit ideas?

Had a look on Instagram but all the “mum style” people are a lot younger and slimmer than me!

I hate the 'mum style' people. I guess I just don't like that style as it's all just so sensible yet trying to show a hint of 'personality'. Bleurgh!

I follow Browns Fashion, Sunday Time Style, Guardian Fashion, Vogue and a couple of quite niche jewellery/shoe designers on Instagram. I get a lot of ideas for new designers from Browns (and from drooling over the Farfetch website - Farfetch own Browns). I'm lucky that where I live (in east London) there are lots of sample sales so I get to try out local designers for not huge money. I was at one today for Christopher Raeburn and there was a gilet that I have been coveting for months that was £40 instead of £275. Happy days!

Farfetch and Net-a-Porter etc have some lovely clothes and accessories but way outside my budget and I have no idea how to style an outfit by pulling items together. I just want to be inspired by someone who dresses well on an average budget that I can copy?

Really good question @BizzzzyBee!

If you're seriously interested in fashion, then it's a reflex to look at how people are wearing clothes. If you're not, you won't. I'm nearly 63, and not gorgeous, but I love watching folk wear clothes well and steal some of the tricks. If you are genuinely happy with your life and your clothes seem comfortable, stick. If you think you could be better, prepare to think about it and probably spend more money OR time getting it right. How important is it to you, really?

Completely agree with XingMing, people watching is great for style inspiration.

I used to use instagram but find it very samey now, it’s seems to kills trends before they start.

I don't follow anyone - don't really do Instagram at all. I observe real life people a lot - I pay a lot of attention to what people are wearing, how clothes hang on them, what looks good (or bad) etc. I am fascinated by what people wear - it's one of the things I notice first about a person.

Truthfully I feel frumpy and outdated. A lot of my clothes are 10+ years old and not suited to my current stage of life or my post-partum body. I do dress like a student because I wear what I always wore, I don’t know what else to buy. I still wear my maternity jumpers and DC is nearly two!

Since becoming a mum I feel unattractive and invisible. I want to reinvent myself, feel confident again and look nice. But I’m not good at picking items to make an outfit, I don’t know what “goes”. I’m not sure what’s fashionable nowadays either. I don’t see that many inspiring outfits on the street, especially not on 40+ women. There must be some older ladies with excellent style who I can copy?

Don’t worry so much about fashion initially work out what suits you and what you are comfortable wearing.

Do you like dresses or skirts?

It’s hard when you have small children, I used to work in fashion & have so many beautiful clothes that I can’t wear because of mucky hands etc so I have focused on accessories more, lots of little earrings, trainers as I’m a bit trainer obsessed. I’m into hair clips at the moment.

I’m going to watch this thread closely as I had been considering starting essentially the same one today. I don’t fit into anymore my student clothes, but if I did, I’d still be wearing them. I am also still wearing some maternity things with a nearly two year old.
On the plus side, you’re ages with me, and that means you’re fashionable again as the 90s have been back in lately....

I wear a uniform to work. I’d quite like a different job, but the idea of having to arrange a whole wardrobe of new clothes fills me with dread.

Perhaps I’m trying to say at least you’re not alone. I do think XingMing has a bit of a point though.

A lot of my clothes are 20 and 30 years old, or inherited for evening-y stuff, and still worn. Not every year or even every five years, but I'm more or less the same size as I was at 20. I spend way more on exercise classes than on clothes nowadays. I don't buy a lot most years, but what I buy I look after. But I buy very plain basics and add cheap fashionable accessories as and when something takes my fancy.

I would recommend the capsule wardrobe thing and adding interest with accessories to update.

I like the style of Unfancy, Seasons and Salt and Style this Life as casual ones that break it down into a simple approach.

I like Justine Lecomte on YouTube- so down to earth for any age group.

Justine is great, as you say Sgtmajormummy, she tells it straight.

Just remembered a blogger I like as she’s very casual (quite ££££ these days though) Sincerely Jules.

Gayle rinkoff (Instagram)

Also subscribe to Sheerluxe, they send daily style emails

this is one of my fave inspiration sites
www.intermixonline.com/style/style-trends/style-elevated-day/

Thanks @PaulHollywoodsleftbollockhair for those blog recommendations - they look really good!

I think the problem with following people on insta is that it's just a selling platform now. They're all currently gushing over an olive boiler suit from M&S.

The best thing I did was a personal shopping session.

Agree a lot of Instagram is really just advertising- they just wear what they've been paid/gifted to wear, mostly all the same stuff.
The Styled by Susie tribe Facebook site is great and you can get an analysis done from there - it's very popular,

Don't be too hard on yourself. I am obsessed with clothes and I was still in a style coma for a couple of years after having a baby.

I wouldn't try and change everything straight away. Start with what you wear at the moment and, if it's mostly jeans, then try hunting down a pair that feel modern. This is quite an unusual time in that there isn't really a single dominant style at the moment - the fashion bit is more about length - so you can buy pretty much any shape. I'd recommend going to real shops although I know that can be hard with a small child.

I would invest in underwear because your body has changed and I find that, if your underwear is right, you can often get away with cheaper fabrics.

As for getting ideas: I unfollowed everyone several years ago as I got fed up with all the undeclared marketing. But I'm another one who always watches what people wear - all ages, men as well as women
Occasionally I still like a magasine. (I know there's a lot of secretive marketing here too but at least they're shiny and smell nice.) I used to buy Vogue religiously but now I'm more random and, if I have a go-to, it's probably Grazia.
I get a lot of fashion catalogues, often unsolicited: Me and Em, Baukjen, Poetry, Wrap, Boden, Hush, Plumo, The Fold.... and I keep them to browse in the bath (one reason why I haven't switched to showering).
And every so often I go for a walk around H&M, even though I rarely buy these days, just to keep on top of what's current and how they're styling it.

Agree about instagram being just advertising now. I’ve actually started buying magazines again, although so many titles don’t exist anymore. If I’m going to be sold too I actually want a beautiful model in a beautiful ott outfit in a beautiful location! 🤣

OP you can’t become stylish overnight just by following people on Instagram.

It really depends on how much you’re prepared to open your mind. People have suggested keeping a close eye on Briwns and Net-a-Porter. Yes, they may be expensive (though the sales are on atm) but they stock a wide range of sophisticated, up to the minute designers - and if you took the time to browse their sites regularly you’d get to know which shapes and proportions look contemporary. You can use this knowledge when shopping at places closer to your own budget.

Describing women over 40 as ‘older ladies’ - with an implication that we must have some separate source of elderly fashion, is unhelpful (and, frankly, annoying). Some of the most talented, powerful and stylish women in the fashion world are over 40 - they lead rather than follow, embracing avant garde styles that would be wasted on the young.

My advice. Search carefully and splurge on one fantastic and extravagant accessory. A piece of jewellery or pair of shoes, say, that costs six months of your wardrobe budget. Then really think about what you might buy to show that thing to best advantage.

One other thing - really stylish people are not primarily interested in showing off their bodies. Don’t be afraid to look a little weird!