P lease help: need a whole new look in 2 weeks

[notatwork]

I am fat and 50: need something comfortable as I am midst hot-flushes.

Graduation in 2 weeks (attending). I usually wear trousers and shirts for work and Gudrun or festival clothing out of work. I'm a size 18 with historical hourglass figure now overlayed with big tuckable tum.

I need to blend in. It's my DSDs graduation and I am very much peripheral, but because I am a bit of a hippy I get noticed for the wrong reasons. I want to look like everyone else for one day.

Hence my plea. I don't usually wear skirts/dresses at all and am very self conscious about stubble/scars/bad skin so if I wear a skirt or dress it needs to be long. I need recommendations for not too hot smoothing underwear. DH will look lovely in a soft grey suit. DSD's DM will be glamourous and I am not going in that direction at all.

I need the works please: clothes and shoes and underwear and make up and everything to make me look like a normal person and fly under the radar.

I am very out of step with all this stuff: last time I wore a dress was DB's wedding where I opted for 50s frock with underskirt, felt self-conscious so bought a size too big and looked like a marshmallow with my bra showing in all the photos. Not the effect I was going for!

Budget isn't an issue if it's fabulous/perfect but it probably won't be worn again before it is long out of fashion so designer pieces probably a waste. Thanks in advance!

Oh, I'm an autumn so can't wear blue or black/cool colours very well.

Seeing a lot of printed dresses, some of which look a bit garish in my opinion, if you want to blend in why not go for a simple wrap dress in one colour?

Poetry has some really lovely stuff (can't do links). Well made, true to size and nice material. Their linen wear is classy and comfortable.

Why do you feel the need to blend in, Why don't you go as your glorious normal self? My DDs graduation is coming up soon and her god mother is attending with us. She is a larger lady who dresses in the most flamboyant way. My DD would be very disappointed if she turned up in ordinary clothing and tried to blend in. Her wacky style is what makes her unique and we lobe her for it. Surely your DSD loves you for who you are not what you wear?

Mind you, the Bombshell collection is fabulous!

I really love that kaftan dress from arket

OP I think that either of those dresses you have bought would look just fine with a co-ordinating jacket or cropped cardigan and some low wedge sandals. The khaki coloured dress is nicer but the other one may be easier to match up jacket wise.

Wide leg linen trousers and a tunic style top would also look fine if you already have these.

I admit I have never been to graduation and would have thought 'toned down wedding' but there have been a lot of threads on here recently and many posters have reported their experience that a very wide range of clothing styles/dress codes were seen so don't get too wound up and anxious over the perfect outfit and make sure you feel comfortable.

If it's in two weeks time it's likely to be hot so linen /wide leg jersey trousers or maxi dress covering bare legs would be perfect.

I have seen advice on wedges rather than heels in case you sink in grass, and knowing the British summer you may need a bag big enough for a very small folding umbrella!!

Oh - and shape wear wise - I have some similar shaped jersey maxi dresses and I tend to wear two pairs of normal cotton full size 'granny' pants so more tummy coverage but not as uncomfy as proper shape wear.

I'm a very similar shape, and often wear the following when I need to look smart- Linen or cotton dress, fatface cotton cardigan (thin but gives arm coverage) and flat shoes. Primark do thin comfortable cotton shorts to wear underneath for 2.50. marks do a cooling slip in various lengths that feels lovely if your dress isn't lined. Leg makeup works well and is cooler than tights.

If you get menopausal hot flushes you can use anti perspirant along hairline, under bust, on small of back etc, I feel much more confident if I'm not a sweaty mess! Use a primer under makeup (Rimmel is cheap and very good) to help it stay on. Definitely get a blow dry on the day!

I'd go for plain colours that you like, and wrap or skater styles if you are hourglass and conscious of your stomach. Dorothy Perkins have many dresses you can order, try on and return for free, and they go up to 18 in most. Good luck and remember everyone is thinking about themselves not looking at others!

Update: jersey maxi dresses came and have been returned. There isn't enough shapewear on the planet to make me comfortable in anything straight and jersey, I have found: they cling where they touch and I felt like an amateurly filled sausage; a result of a hilarious 'Generation Game' challenge, if you will.

So I have ordered this:
monsoon
and these leggings
and then this one as it was cheap snakey

and some woven leather flats.

If neither of those feel ok I'll revert to Gudrun with good grace (brown wide fishermans trousers with skinny print vest and dark red linen tie front cardigan with a lot of strings of beads ), and save a load of angst!

I have appointment for haircut with a view to colouring this weekend, 14YO DD going to sort eyebrows (!) and I am using handcream.

Love the first Monsoon dress!! I hope it works for you.

I have found something in Phase 8 that I think will be OK and not too hot (I'm revolting when I'm too hot)

OP, just wanted to add that you should take some comfy shoes with you. New shoes shredded my feet at my ds' graduation and I would killed for my fitflops.
Also, there were all sorts of different people at his graduation - the mum's didn't all look exactly the same and there's nothing wrong with looking like yourself.
I like the monsoon dress you ordered.

The flared dresses & leggings you've ordered look gorgeous. A simple one colour jacket or shawl would be perfect with them, as would a cardigan.
I'm never comfortable in a straight dress I'm way too busty & look grossly mis-proportioned in them. I'm 63 this month & put on a lot of weight over the past few years & am now a size14/16 when I used to be a size 8/10. At 4' 10" I'm less hourglass more blob.
The main problem with adults clothes is they don't put ages on them like they do with children's clothing & I've difficulty interpreting what I see if I happen to glance in a mirror. Currently I'm in a pair of Danish army surplus combat trousers & a new but old stock Next tee shirt I got for 50p in one of the bargain shops near me. I like ankle length skirts, mainly gypsy style & usually a full length black cardigan type thing over tops as I hate bare arms if I have to go outside.
Whatever you wear you'll be drop dead gorgeous & your DSD will be proud of you.

Could you not just wear black or navy wide leg trousers with a long white linen shirt? Classical.

Are you planning on wearing the khaki leggings under the bright, printed dresses? In the OP you say that you want to blend in and look like everyone else as you have a ‘hippy’ aesthetic. Sorry but I think the current outfit plan doesn’t sound like it fits your brief, but rather suits your ‘hippy’ style instead.

Could you not just wear black or navy wide leg trousers with a long white linen shirt? Classical. Or office wear. I think I need to be a bit more dressy.

Sorry but I think the current outfit plan doesn’t sound like it fits your brief, but rather suits your ‘hippy’ style instead. You are probably right. After the maxi dress/sausage disaster I think I'm aiming at high street but not so far outside my comfort zone.... I'm out of touch with high street shopping (today's top is 17 years old for example) so everything high street looks slightly odd to me. Does no-one but me wear legging any more? I might wear tights then. I can wear the leggings again (lots) after the graduation.

OP honestly the outfit you just described sounds lovely! I'd go for that and concentrate on grooming, book a blow dry for the morning and as a pp said go to bobbi brown for make up if you can. Nails / eyebrows etc all smart and you'll look fab.

I normally wear leggings with any dress that's knee length or above, although if I wanted to be formal I would wear tights (e.g. I recently bought some 15 denier tights for a funeral and I don't think I'd worn any non-opaque tights for around 20 years!)

Yes I wear leggings all the time, unless it's really hot.

With the heat the way it is OP being a bigger lady myself I'd wear a nice pair of tights rather than leggings.

All of the dresses you have picked out look really lovely,you honestly shouldn't need a jacket or a cardigan if the weather is nice where you are but if your worried a light shawl would go lovely with any of those dresses also have you sorted a handbag or purse,jewellry if your going to wear any and with regards to make up pop in to your local boots(the larger one's that have the make up counters)or Debenhams or John lewis and ask about having your make up done for you,it's usually free and if you buy any products whilst there they'll usually throw in some free samples or find you some vouchers to knock some of the money off(I'm friends with a few different ladys that work on the make up counters in all 3 stores I mentioned)they're usually really helpful and are happy to give some easy to follow tips.

I’m in Canada, so will suggest styles.

Undergarments-good bra and spanx.

Dresses-look more polished than skirts. I would not choose black, but I think a dress is the way to go.

Style-As you’re an hourglass with bigger hips, draw attention to your upper body and waist. A V-neck would be ideal, with a chunky necklace to draw attention to your face. Something like these styles -

m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/city-chic-cute-girl-dress-plus-size/5059787?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=navy

m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/city-chic-floral-print-fit-flare-dress-plus-size/5363376?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=abstract%20floral

m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/rachel-rachel-roy-easy-floral-faux-wrap-dress-plus-size/5352480?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=black%20mystery%20combo

Buy the proper size. The dress should hug your curves. Clothing that is too large makes you look bigger.

Get a good haircut ASAP. Haircuts look best after about two weeks after the cut. Bobs look good on most women.

Get a makeover for makeup ideas.

For shoes, I suggest a 2 inch heel, but something with substance in the heel, like this -

m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/toms-poppy-sandal-women/5372953?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results%2FWomen%27s%20Shoes%2FHeels&color=honey%20leather

or this-

m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/marc-fisher-ltd-zala-pump-women/4334360?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results%2FWomen%27s%20Shoes%2FHeels&color=brown%20crock%20embossed%20leather
as they’re comfortable but not matronly.

How about a smart longline M&S linen blazer?
www.marksandspencer.com/open-front-blazer/p/p60220682?prevPage=srp
Worn with an ivory silk v neck vest from Autograph, currently in sale, or any other plain ivory/white top in breathable fabric.

With wide or straight leg linen trousers.
Pretty low/flat sandals and a large envelope style natural raffia clutch.
If you get the jacket and trousers first, the accessories will be easy.

www.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/dresses-5699972/womens-dresses-5686813/billie-blossom-navy-floral-print-maxi-dress-8921652
classic and would camouflage most perceived inperfections

OP, I love the sound of your trousers, vest and cardigan. That sounds much more appropriate. If you do go for the dress, don't wear leggings, get some opaque nude tights. I have terrible legs and just ordered some of Amazon and they are perfect for summer.

No to those Canadian shoes

Lol. They’re not Canadian. I don’t like the second pair, however, they were mostly to illustrate a sturdy heel. If you’re not used to heels, a sturdy heel gives you both height and stability, so you can walk around all night.

I used to wear 3 inch heels routinely. Now, in my mid fifties, even a 2 inch pointy heel has me holding on to my husband at functions. With pants, I always wear boots. Far more comfortable.

A blazer is a good idea. I have an m&s one (not the one in the link although that is nice) and I always get compliments when I wear it.