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Need another funeral outfit

74 replies

namechangedyetagain · 23/06/2019 12:49

But I'm too fat. I ordered this first dress with grey trim but even with shape underwear I look like a whale. I tried on the next size up but it was too big around the shoulders.

Second pic, where I'm feeling pissed off is what I wore to last funeral not so long ago. Feel huge in that as well.

It has to be a dress, and black. Smart but comfy fit getting in and out of cars etc.
I'm struggling a bit today and any pointers would be amazing. Thank you

Need another funeral outfit
Need another funeral outfit
OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
whitehalleve · 01/07/2019 15:36

I think the 3rd dress is much more flattering and more funeral like to be honest. But I'd just weAr whatever you're most comfortable in. No one else will notice I'm sure.

namechangedyetagain · 01/07/2019 18:09

Jumpsuit would need to get bigger size. But feels comfy with added bonus could wear again with silver bits for a wedding reception?
But not sure if really appropriate for a funeral (crem not church).

As I've spent most of the day sobbing maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind.

Need another funeral outfit
Need another funeral outfit
OP posts:
MitziK · 01/07/2019 20:33

It would be fine for a funeral.

I do think it needs subtle accessorising, though, to bring out the smartness.

If you were to wear it another time for a reception, maybe with strappy silver sandals/thin silver belt to accentuate your waist (which is very definitely something I don't have, but you do)?

For this day, the belt would work and maybe if you have dark plum/maroon coloured shoes (wedge heels are comfortable when you're feeling wobbly, at it can be a long walk from the car park if you aren't in one of the directors' cars), they could be worn? It's not the same as wearing scarlet, after all, if you're worried about that.

There's a good chance that whatever you pick, you will change your mind on the morning, so it's still good to have more than one outfit ready (don't forget to get a couple of packs of M&S tights in advance if you wear the things, just in case).

I don't suppose you've thought about your hair yet - that jumpsuit would look incredibly elegant with your hair up in a chignon/pleat for this time, for a wedding, I think that having it looser and tumbling would look great - I'm guessing that you have lovely, dark hair, going by what looks like a great tan.

By the way, being a nosy person, it looks like your bedroom is lovely, calm, crisp and cool - I love old fashioned bedsteads! So you've obviously got great taste when you feel able to let yourself decide - try and be confident that you will look the best you can.

namechangedyetagain · 02/07/2019 06:43

I have both maroon and scarlet shoes Smile. G always commented on my shoes - , usually that they were too high and bad for my feet (he's right). I will be in the car so not to much walking involved.

Still waiting for the asos dresses wish I'd got next day delivery but got the trouser suit down as a possible mainly because there's no faffing. Not sure about accessories? Only ever wear watch wedding ring and stud earrings.

OP posts:
stucknoue · 02/07/2019 07:11

I have a plain black dress from bravissimo that I wear (occupational hazard, I work for a church) so comfy and it holds everything in

MitziK · 02/07/2019 17:30

Handbag and sparkly hair clip?

namechangedyetagain · 02/07/2019 18:27

Got a black clutch already from September (or tan, or silver or leopard print!!!)

Emotionally I feel spent. I appreciate you all letting me witter on about something that really has no importance on the day.

As everything has been left to me to arrange I just want things to be as perfect as they can.

OP posts:
GemmeFatale · 03/07/2019 05:33

I really like the jumpsuit and it’s appropriate.

Sometimes we worry about minor details like what to wear to give our minds space to work on the bigger life stuff.

namechangedyetagain · 08/07/2019 19:43

Oh dear. The asos dresses arrived today. I look hideous. Tried the jumpsuit on again and I can't even zip it up today Blush. I must be piling the weight on.

If I'm feeling less hot and bothered tomorrow I'll share some pics for your opinions.

I really hate myselfSad

OP posts:
TeaChocKitKat · 08/07/2019 21:09

I had been wondering how you were doing. When is the funeral? You have to wait so long these days for them. x

namechangedyetagain · 08/07/2019 21:32

Yes, it's on Friday. 3 weeks today he's been gone. It suddenly started to hit me at the weekend.

I'm just so horrified at what I've become, and yet I have no oomph to do anything to change it. I'm emotionally and physically spent. I just want to lock myself away and never come out.

Thank you for being kind. I'll try and do sone pictures tomorrow if I can lose a free stone overnight

OP posts:
drquin · 08/07/2019 21:39

I'm sure some of those ASOS dresses will turn out fine. The jumpsuit also looked lovely. But if you're feeling self-conscious about weight / figure ..... and I appreciate no amount of us telling you that you look lovely will help right now ..... would wearing a looser style, maybe a tunic top / dress help?

Either way, wear what works for you ...... what helps you feel confident. And if that's high, red shoes or an animal print bag, then go with it.

CheckingOutTheQuantocks · 08/07/2019 21:52

Could you go back to the third dress you posted on this thread? I personally thought it was absolutely fine, completely appropriate, and with enough room in it that you won't feel self-conscious. What was the issue with it - unsure about the fit, or not happy with the style?

I understand the frame of mind you can get into where you hate everything you try on and nothing matches the picture you have in your mind of how you want to look. But with the way you're feeling right now, are you likely to find a dress that makes you go "Yes!" or do you just feel too sad and down? I think settling for something that fits and is comfortable would be completely acceptable at this stage. Let yourself off the hook a little.

namechangedyetagain · 09/07/2019 16:27

Ok... dress 1 2 and 3. Think 2 is too low cut and 3 is see through / sheer on top so I'd need something underneath

Excuse the red shoes was just seeing how inappropriate I looked with them on.

No one will be the slightest bit bothered about all this I know. But I'll be seeing people I've not seen for years and then going out for a few drinks later on that evening.

So. Any of them any good? Or even just passable at this late stage.

Need another funeral outfit
Need another funeral outfit
Need another funeral outfit
OP posts:
CheckingOutTheQuantocks · 09/07/2019 16:58

Number 1 is the best. Think 2 is a bit low and will make you feel self-conscious, and 3 looks too big for you.

ElBandito · 09/07/2019 17:08

Dress 1 today. It fits well and looks v flattering on you.

drquin · 09/07/2019 17:48

Number 1, or 2 with a vest top or slip underneath so the V isn't so deep if you'd rather?

Apolloanddaphne · 09/07/2019 17:49

No 1 is good. It is both demure and flattering.

TeaChocKitKat · 09/07/2019 18:21

I vote for number 2 with a vest top or similar on underneath. Personally I'm not keen on the length of number 1 but wear whatever you feel most comfortable in as you look fab in them all x

namechangedyetagain · 09/07/2019 19:58

I think that I might go with dress 1 as thanks to my age I'll get way too hot with a vest underneath dress 2. Now shoes- I have black, nude, red or leopard🐆

Thank you so much for your help. I'm getting into such a tizzy about it all.

OP posts:
CheckingOutTheQuantocks · 09/07/2019 20:29

I reckon black or red. I wouldn't put nude shoes with black, and I'm not keen on leopard at the best of times. It could be a quirky touch, though, if you think it would fit the occasion. If it's going to be quite a formal funeral, plain colours are probably best.

Rarfy · 09/07/2019 20:31

www.next.co.uk/style/st307143#611820

I got this for the last funerals I went to. Im overweight, proper over weight (not like you, you look great) but felt like this looked lovely on. Better than on the model.

CheckingOutTheQuantocks · 09/07/2019 20:50

Just a thought re dress 2, you can get "modesty panels", which are basically a triangle of fabric that clips onto the front of your bra. It gives the impression of a vest but without the sweatiness of an extra layer (I know where you're coming from on that one). I think M&S have them.

TeaChocKitKat · 13/07/2019 20:51

How did it go yesterday OP? Hope you are ok x

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