Need another funeral outfit

[namechangedyetagain]

But I'm too fat. I ordered this first dress with grey trim but even with shape underwear I look like a whale. I tried on the next size up but it was too big around the shoulders.

Second pic, where I'm feeling pissed off is what I wore to last funeral not so long ago. Feel huge in that as well.

It has to be a dress, and black. Smart but comfy fit getting in and out of cars etc.
I'm struggling a bit today and any pointers would be amazing. Thank you

It really is. Especially as it's only been 10 months since the first devastating loss.
You are all so kind.

So you think dress 3 best of a bad bunch? I feel huge and not nice in all of them so far. Nothing I've tried on has made me think 'i look ok in this'.

I do still have a week or so to look though I guess....

Oh lovely, you poor thing. I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to attend a the funeral of someone very close last summer and I became obsessed with what I would wear. I bought a lovely new dress but now I can't even look at it let alone think of wearing it again. The truth is nobody looking at the grieving family will give a damm about what they are wearing but I totally understand why you are stressing.
It was also absolutely baking all day. I thought I was going to faint in the back of the funeral car from heat as much as grief so you want something you will be comfortable in (ideally with or without a cardigan). If that dress doenst feel right I completely understand- although it does look lovely on you.
Have you looked in Next or marks and spencer? You could order a stash of dresses and arrange free returns.
I'm sorry I'm not much help but sending hugs x

I didn't realise there were three I like the last one best.

What about this, I think the shape would suit you and it's a linen mix so might be more comfortable if the weather is hot.

https://www.marksandspencer.com/3-4-sleeve-waisted-midi-dress/p/p60257811?image=SD011T535015SSY0XXEC90&color=BLACK&prevPage=srp

Oh I so need my grandpa. He was my go to for fashion advice. He would tell me if the colour / length / fit wasn't right. The only person. Maybe that's why I want to get so right for him.
I can't hear what he's saying to me though.
I miss him so much

Funerals are crap.

I think that this from M&S would look fantastic on your amazing figure and would be more comfortable than trussing yourself up in shapewear -

A bit expensive but probably worth it

and

But my figure is awful and just massive

Absolutely love the idea of silk though. May order and see. No harm in that is there

No, it isn't. You look gorgeous and you will do your Granddad proud.

x

The third one was absolutely fine. With a black cardigan over the top, it will be entirely appropriate and it looked way more comfortable than either of the first two.

I think I'm a pretty similar shape to you, and I would avoid bodycon like the plague - unless the material is very thick it's bound to make you feel self-conscious if you're already unhappy with your body. Fit and flare, like the third picture, is my go-to for dresses.

You are NOT massive! I so understand you wanting to get it right for your beloved grandpa. I was the same for my dad. Believe all of us saying you look lovely.

The third dress is lovely.

If you're still not sure, though, you could try a top/cardi and skirt combination?

Love the third dress on you and it looks right for being summer.

You are not huge! But you are sad and fragile and that affects everything. Have a hug lass.

So sorry for your loss OP. How about a wiggle dress? Fitted shape but less clingy than your first couple of pics.

www.asos.com/prd/10587813?acquisitionsource=pasteboard

Thank you

Love that last dress from Asos. Even better that it's inexpensive as it won't be worn again. Have also found another couple of black dresses on there - a black wrap midi and a black woven pencil dress.

What is the delivery like with them?

@namechangedyetagain Asos delivery is really good - last week I ordered a dress for a wedding in next day delivery (7 months pregnant and didn't feel happy in the dress I had originally picked). Ordered at 8pm, got a text early next morning with a 1 hour delivery slot, package arrived by 11.30am. I think their standard delivery is a window of a few days though.

That Asos dress is so elegant. I love it.

If returns are fine...order 2 sizes as brand you have not worn before might mean sizing is a bit variable.

I have, I've ordered my usual 14 and also a 16. Hopefully out of tbe 3 dresses and 2 sizes I'll find one suits and looks ok.

Fingers crossed🤞

I am very sorry for your loss.

But it is very sad that you feel you are ‘massive’ and ‘awful’ when you clearly have a very nice figure and loom lovely in all the dresses. I am size 18/20 and honestly don’t feel ‘massive’, I would try and work on your self esteem.

Second one fine, first one too low cut.

I don't have any confidence in myself. I'm so sad within that any niceness I had about me has been lost. You're all too kind

You are doing great, and you can handle this. We are all here to support you and build your confidence back up as well.

I'm not sure I can. Had very little sleep again last night worrying about the arrangements and have spent the morning in tears. I'm not sure I can keep on keeping on....

Anyway back to the dress dilemma, I'm waiting for the asos dresses to arrive this week and also a very long trouser jumpsuit from phase eight but I'm not too sure about that. Will update when it all arrives and have some pics.

I'm getting nails painted too this week. Usually would have a red or bright pink this time of year but I think I'll be going with my black plum winter colour.

I know what you mean, namechanged. The original pics could be of me, we have such similar body shapes, and I sometimes feel that despair when I'm trying on clothes and feel like nothing is made with me in mind. But I also know that nobody except me is thinking such unkind thoughts about me, and I try to wear things that I like and focus on the overall look rather than zooming in on individual parts! I really like the third dress on you and I am sure the one you've sent off for will work too. I'd personally advise against button-down shirt dresses, as I find they make me look very bottom-heavy and they don't flatter my boobs. The more buttons I have on me, the more opportunities there are for button gape, and I just can't be bothered with monitoring them all!

Sending you a hug and a handhold namechangedyetagain