Party outfit help for 47 yr old in a frump.

[Milicentbystander72]

I would love some help....

I've been invited to a work party. I've worked from home as a freelancer for 27 years, so don't really have smart work wear.

Next month I'm going to a big Publishing House party in London. I've been before but had a few close friends that were there too. This time those friends won't be there so even though they'll be people I'm acquainted with I'll be on my own a bit. I need to feel confident.

It's a fairly 'posh' do but not black tie. They'll be celebrities there as well as 'norms' who work in the sector. Lots of authors/artists/designers so a bit of quirkyness is often on show.

I'm peri-menopausal. I feel like shit about myself. I'm a size 18 with a barely defined waist. I also currently have a flare up psoriasis on my flabby arms and legs (don't I sound a beauty! 😂).
I think look awful in dresses and feel unconfident in them. I also have psoriasis on one foot which makes smart shoes extremely painful.

What the heck to I wear?

I want some kind of colour I think but also want to be realistic about what I'll feel good in. I just bought some black trousers and a yellow jumper from phase eight. The trousers look like shit on me. The jumper is nice, and I'll keep it but it's not smart enough.

I like these looks from Next but unsure about Red all over. I wear lots of Navy blue.

I have some new bright yellow converse that I was going to wear. Knowing the type of occasion I think I can get away with it.

Any got any better ideas than me? I like to hide in baggy dark clothes normally :/

Ok, so ... I wouldn’t start from there.

Why on earth are you looking at Next? I am certain you can afford better quality clothes.

Spend your afternoon browsing through Matches website/app. (They have a sale on but also new season clothes.) You mentioned quirkyness - but from the photos you’ve posted I don’t think you’d struggle to find something suitable on the website mentioned. (And I think you’re correct to consider un-quirky clothing that can be individualised through grooming, jewellery accessories.) You’re probably aware that a size 18 in cheaper brands could well be a size 16 from more expensive brands so don’t assume you won’t find anything.

You sound a bit down about yourself. Why not get eyebrows, hair, nails done to give you a bit of a lift. Navy goes well with yellow if you were thinking yellow shoes.

Also psoriasis, have you seen a dr/dermatologist, steroid creams can really help.

What's the matter with Next?

Navy blue and Converse will be fine at a publishing party (I've been to loads in my time!). Could you get a jumpsuit?

I agree with pp you do sound down on yourself and getting pampered could really help. Hair nails facial.. maybe pro make up? And a revisit to gp 're skin

As for outfit... well fitting trouser suit funky relaxed fit shirt and your super sounding yellow converse will go great with a smattering of confidence. Even if it is fake it till you make it
Good luck. Have fun x

Browsing through Net-a-Porter I stumbled upon this website which may be worth a look.

OP I’m wondering about your footwear choice. Nothing wrong with Converse at any time of day - but (given that pp have noted your lack of confidence in your own attractiveness) I’d be concerned that bright yellow suggests you’re going for the ‘fun’ look. If that’s the persona that sells your professional brand - fine ...

Converse is fine at a publishing party.

I didn’t say they weren’t Cassian!

I think I know the "do" that you're talking about. I would definitely start from the feet up. Lots of standing around and chatting, and the last thing you need is for your feet to be killing you within the hour like I did.

There's some great funky footwear out there. Think big chunky platform trainers or sandals. (Joanna Lumley was rocking the trainers look on stage in her recent one woman show.) Then perhaps some linen layers, a really groovy big statement necklace or earrings. Go for that confident, creative, boldly-dressed fabulous woman look.

Definitely get the hair & nails done. And watch Diana Vreeland's film, They Eye Must Travel.

Wow thanks everyone.

I do normally have my hair done professionally (I'm due an appt and it will be done by then).

Out if interest I've just ordered a navy blue jumpsuit (sorry from Next!) and a mustard yellow kind chiffon scarf to drape! I thought it might go with the yellow converse.

I do have one or two completely nuts necklaces that I could wear as a statement

As for the psoriasis, I am under a dermatologist. I've had it all my life so have been through various treatments. I have two different types. At moment it's flared up due to a very stressful 6 months at the end of last year and my age! (Menopause can cause a flare-up too.

Im glad that people who know the party think converse would work ok. I hope I haven't outed myself! If you see anyone stood in the corner wearing yellow converse come and say hello!

Off to have a look at Matches website......

I am sorry to be argumentative, but.

Surely there are other ways to be dressed up, as a size 18 woman, than ‘statement necklace and bright yellow Converse’? It’s such a cliched look.

I’m engaged in a creative occupation and familiar with the milieu the OP describes. (I know that sounds ridiculous!)

And ... that was a reply to pp, not directly to you OP.

To fair I did suggest the bright yellow converse myself.

I need something comfortable mainly without the need to show off the huge angry sore massive patches of skin all over the side and front of my foot. It's hard to find smart footwear for that.

I have black ankle boots but maybe that would look too clunky for a summer party?

Even smart coloured flat shoes show the sore skin.

www.lagenlookboutique.com/product/anzio-layered-two-tone-waterfall-jacket-14-24/
I saw this the other day and liked it - you could wear it over, for example, black jeans and a skinny black layering-type top - uniqlo do 3/4 sleeve tops with a scoop neck. Flat sandles or trainers would work.

I do like that Frondy.

I don't know what the party is but I'm pretty sure most people there won't think 'wow, what a walking cliche that woman is'. IME most 'creatives' tend to end up looking exactly like one another anyway!

It was the colour that I questioned. For some reason - even at a summer party - bright yellow to me gives a different impression to, say, gold or silver.

I don't know what the party is but I'm pretty sure most people there won't think 'wow, what a walking cliche that woman is'.

I wasn’t answering as ‘most people’ but simply as myself. Not ashamed to say that, as a middle aged woman fairly obsessed with clothes, who enjoys getting dressed, I do notice walking cliches in human form.

Well I don't want to look like a walking cliche

What footwear would you suggest George. Converse ok but just not yellow?

Bloody psoraisis. I have it too. If you want to cover your legs you could go for some statement patterned tights. I got some great ones from Vivienne Westwood for a party once.

Walking cliché? How very dare you! :)

www.gudrunsjoden.com/en-gb/clothes/dresses-tunics-kaftans/knitted-organic-linen-dress-black-s I like the look of this dress too - you could wear it with leggings or cropped trousers.

How do you want to look?

I’m sure you’re well known in your profession so don’t need to worry about making an impression - and probably want any new people you meet at the party to be impressed primarily with your work - but, still ...

Some people veer towards a loud, clownish way of presenting themselves - not because it reflects their true personality but because they fear they’ll be laughed at if they dress as if they want to be thought attractive. Or simply in the hope of distracting the eye from their physical presence.

But there’s no need. Of all the people I’ve met in half a century some of the most attractive were very far from being young and thin. And it would be ridiculous if anyone who makes their living from the distinctiveness of their brain should feel compelled to hide behind a stereotypical way of dressing.

Personally I find Next to be bad quality - got a Next Directory work dress from there the other day and it's really badly finished and cheap material.

& other stories and Ted Baker do some nice 'stand out' clothes.

Well, I don't want to walk in and people think "look at her!"

I'd like to look fairly professional, approachable but with an 'arty edge' that reflects my work. That could be just a flash of colour or something unusual.

Unfortunately I do feel unconfident in how I look and I will feel extra unconfident because my usual friends aren't there to rely on. I think wearing a crazy pattern, really bright uniform colours or designer shoes etc will help me feel confident.

I have the added worry of needing to cover up pretty much all of one foot whilst being comfortable!