Party outfit help for 47 yr old in a frump.

[Milicentbystander72]

I would love some help....

I've been invited to a work party. I've worked from home as a freelancer for 27 years, so don't really have smart work wear.

Next month I'm going to a big Publishing House party in London. I've been before but had a few close friends that were there too. This time those friends won't be there so even though they'll be people I'm acquainted with I'll be on my own a bit. I need to feel confident.

It's a fairly 'posh' do but not black tie. They'll be celebrities there as well as 'norms' who work in the sector. Lots of authors/artists/designers so a bit of quirkyness is often on show.

I'm peri-menopausal. I feel like shit about myself. I'm a size 18 with a barely defined waist. I also currently have a flare up psoriasis on my flabby arms and legs (don't I sound a beauty! 😂).
I think look awful in dresses and feel unconfident in them. I also have psoriasis on one foot which makes smart shoes extremely painful.

What the heck to I wear?

I want some kind of colour I think but also want to be realistic about what I'll feel good in. I just bought some black trousers and a yellow jumper from phase eight. The trousers look like shit on me. The jumper is nice, and I'll keep it but it's not smart enough.

I like these looks from Next but unsure about Red all over. I wear lots of Navy blue.

I have some new bright yellow converse that I was going to wear. Knowing the type of occasion I think I can get away with it.

Any got any better ideas than me? I like to hide in baggy dark clothes normally :/

White wide leg trousers , bright summer blouse , either kitten heels (m&s have ever so comfy , cute ) and a navy blazer.

A bright summer lippy.

If you're going for converse, either navy or white

Sorry, just seen you wanted colour and that second dress was black, although you could use it as a base, it's a great shape I think, and wear it with coloured leggings or tights and a coloured scarf or necklace. Forest green or plum coloured tights would look nice with the black.

Right ok - you need to look great - why don't you go to John Lewis or another department store (Selfridges?) and get a personal shopper?

Forgot to add, blouse top should be satin or silk, the brighter the colour the better!

I think wearing a crazy pattern, really bright uniform colours or designer shoes etc will help me feel confident.

Okay ... If this is your usual persona then all well and good. Otherwise (please don’t be offended) you will simply be communicating, visually, that you don’t think anyone will find you attractive in yourself.

And surely your work reflects your work? ‘Artiness’ is hugely subjective - as you won’t need to be told. I’m not sure you can guarantee that a huge statement necklace + glorified romper suit + big yellow plimsolls, worn together, will necessarily communicate creative genius to others.

Ok George, maybe I've over-described it or described it wrong. I don't want to be a walking canvas.

I just want to blend in, feel a bit dressed up and comfortable but not feel boring! I'm not a creative genius at all! I'm just a creative professional. I hope I've not given anyone the impression I'm Grayson Perry

I honestly wasn't thinking of a gold romper suit.

I really don't know now.....

Maybe I should just go for comfort? I need sleeves (which cuts out a lot of dresses) and get some nice ankle boots or something? I normally go with black so thought I'd try a colour but doubting myself now.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/251499150/new-aristocratic-dupioni-silk-swing?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=dupioni+silk+jacket&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1&pro=1 Better link. Dupioni silk swing jacket.

Grayson wears yellow crocs

Thanks Frondy. Not too sure about that one. Maybe too shiny and colourful? Sorry to be picky.

I think I'd need more tailored.

I don't know him personally, I've seen pictures.

I realise I’ve been nothing but unhelpful!

I’m posting three photos of a style icon of mine. They’re a bit wintery - and obviously dressing as someone else would be another sort of cliche ...

Personally, I wouldn't go with Next if you want to come across as creative and professional. Their stuff is not well cut or well designed, it's bog standard workwear IMO. If I were you, I'd go and have a look around Jigsaw, Whistles, Ghost and have a chat with their staff. Tell them what you are looking for. Discuss footwear options. The bold statement jewellery and 'fun' yellow shoes are a real cliche. You want to want to look well put together, so go into a decent shop and ask knowledgeable staff for their help. John Lewis is another one you could try - their personal shoppers are free and they have loads of brands you could try.

I think maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the Arty side of it. It's basically a corporate party celebrating themselves (of which us creatives are a part). I don't think I need to make a design statement.

I think maybe a coloured tailored jacket might be ok.

Perhaps yellow flats or with a slight heel instead of converse? Sorry, I am favouring the yellow with a navy blue or black jumpsuit etc.

For parties of this sort, in the days when I went to such things, I used to wear my thrift shop brocade tuxedo (red on black satin) over black jeans and t-shirt with boxfresh Stan Smiths (summer) or ankle boots in winter. Very rarely, I wore strappy sandals, if not walking far or using public transport. DS, who now owns the tux, wears it similarly but also has an Indian lightweight frockcoat alternative.

I’m hesitating to post again - but just in case Matches doesn’t inspire, have you ever shopped at Acne Studios? You would love their footwear (loads of sneaker type things) and the satin clothes from their new collection are tremendously party-worthy. (I’ve found their sizing very generous in the past.)

You absolutely don’t need to think about making a ‘designer statement’ (who ever does?) - wanting to look good at a party is the most natural thing in the world!

Apologies re broken link. Have a look anyway ...

Ok I'm not particularly stylish, but going with the yellow theme, I wore this on a cruise recently with white trousers and felt really good in it. I wore it with some (non statement!) silver jewellery and silver flat ballet pumps.

PS I am mid 40s and size 16

I am the same size as you.I think a jumpsuit, necklace and trainers sounds wonderful! If i saw you in that outfit i would make a beeline to say hello.
Hobbs have a couple of jumpsuits at the moment. Cos also has some dresses with sleeves. I personally hate converse and would wear a different sneaker though. I find them a bit clown like on me. That might be a personal preference.
People recommending whistles, jigsaw etc- these only go up to a 16. You would only get in them depending on the cut.

This is horribly expensive but very lovely and would be great with white trainers.

This is substantially cheaper and nearly as nice.

Have a look at "Helenwearsasize18" on Instagram, I really like a lot of her clothes and you get some good ideas.

Not sure what to suggest but following with interest as I’m a similar size and struggle with work outfits too - you’d think having the freedom that being a ‘creative’ offers would make it easier but in reality it doesn’t.

Just to say though OP you sound funny and lovely and good luck finding something you feel ‘right’ in - I know how hard that is but if you crack it you’ll look and feel great.

Thanks everyone so much for helping me think through this.

George I do like some of Acne's shoes however I think (even though I could afford it) it would be a shock to my system to spent £400 on shoes. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong in my fashion sense? Although I'm not a Primark woman I couldn't justify hundreds and hundreds on one piece. But I appreciate you showing me different stuff to the norm to make me think.

Allthebubbles I've had a look at Helenwearsasize18 and I love her confidence! I'll try and copy that.

SomewhereNow thanks for saying I sound fun/friendly etc. That's a huge compliment to me xx

I've ordered a jumpsuit and a navy blue Bardot party stress with a really wide Bardot panel that looks smart (I think). Fingers crossed. I'll re-look at shoes.

I’ll just leave this website here, in case you feel like more browsing. It’s a bit too late in the season for a good choice of summer clothes, but they’ll soon have their autumn stock (which is always wonderful).