Does this dress make me look 'a bit nineteenth century'?

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I need a dress for a wedding next month. I tried this one on (in M&S) and really liked the colour and the flouncy way it twirls when I do (I might be five). Both my DM and DH hated it, which surprised me as they both normally at least claim to like most things I buy - DM said it looked 'weirdly covered up' and unflattering, while DH said it looked 'a bit nineteenth century' and then that there was 'something a bit Pennsylvania Dutch about it' (?!). I thought it was elegant but am now doubting myself! Thoughts, oh wise mumsnetters?

I'm 31, 5'10 and the dress pictured is a 12 (in M&S generous sizing). I'd quite like to look nice for this wedding as it'll be the first time I've seen lots of the people there in years, but I'm still feeling a bit body unconfident after having DS nine months ago (don't think I'll lose any more weight before this wedding, though - seem to have plateaued)

You've got a lovely figure and the dress is ok but doesn't really do a lot for you and not very wedding like.

Have a look at Next online. I like this. Looks comfy enough to deal with a baby but flattering and different too.

They also sell Lipsy who have some nice wedding guest type dresses for around £60

Think you'd suit this from Next

Also these from Next?

Basically you need the Vampire's Wife red falconetti dress but without the £1595 price tag!! It would look glorious on you!

IMO it's not doing anything for you.

Just come back to the thread! Thanks again for giving me so much help. I think I'm realising I have quite weird taste, and in particular I dislike what most people seem to think of as 'wedding-y' clothes (I've been to lots of weddings before, but maybe those outfits wouldn't have passed MN muster either!). I agree that the original dress isn't quite right (as someone posted upthread that M&S were styling it almost as a maxi dress on their website, I'm now wondering if it's actually designed for someone shorter than me and so the proportions are off), but I'm struggling to find much else I like. I really don't want to look like I'm trying to look 'sexy', so I don't like tight/lace/short/low, but I also really don't want pretty/twee. I'm being an awkward bugger, I know!

Suki's is my favourite thing posted, so have high hopes for that when it arrives (in a week because I was too cheap to pay for quicker delivery). Will post when it arrives and I try it on!

I think it looks fab. Add a wide belt and a chunky necklace with a pair of great shoes and you will look stunning.

I really like the M&S dress. I think it was a bit hard to see in the orginal photos but the latest one is much clearer and I think it is a great color on you and I like the shape.

I really like the original one too. I love the colour and think it looks really good in the second photo. Did you order the regular or the long cause sometimes the alternative option works better. I'm tall but recently tried a petite version of a midi/maxi dress in M&S and it worked much better for some reason. Might just sit slightly differently.

I like the M&S dress and agree with Lgracejones about styling. Try it with the accessories she’s suggested

From reading your updates I think that you’re the sort of person who will pull off that look effortlessly. The right shoes, bag and accessories and you’ll be grand.

Yay, the tide of the thread is turning towards my Amish look! What sort of belt are the people recommending this imagining? Very open to this but can't imagine it with a belt because it has the ruched waist, so need some belt inspiration!

Belt ideas
www.krisp.co.uk/accessories-c23/belts-c27/krisp-tie-round-pu-leather-waist-cinch-belt-p8551/s61066?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=krisp-tie-round-pu-leather-waist-cinch-belt-size-one-size-colour-kh-size-one-size-colour-khaki-14987-kha-os&utm_campaign=product%2Blisting%2Bads&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6dGNq_Dc4QIVA7ftCh2hdgdxEAQYEyABEgKMEvD_BwE

www.ebay.co.uk/i/303010204792?chn=ps&ul_ref=https%253A%252F%252Frover.ebay.com%252Frover%252F1%252F710-134428-41853-0%252F2%253Fmpre%253Dhttps%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.ebay.co.uk%25252Fi%25252F303010204792%25253Fchn%25253Dps%2526itemid%253D303010204792%2526targetid%253D594652114680%2526device%253Dt%2526adtype%253Dpla%2526googleloc%253D9044965%2526poi%253D%2526campaignid%253D1700604175%2526adgroupid%253D66589446672%2526rlsatarget%253Dpla-594652114680%2526abcId%253D1140496%2526merchantid%253D110850726%2526gclid%253DEAIaIQobChMIg4GUifHc4QIV7pPtCh3hXAEYEAQYFSABEgLwmvD_BwE%2526srcrot%253D710-134428-41853-0%2526rvr_id%253D1940249810848%2526rvr_ts%253D370ec7ea16a0a9cc02b23c8bffd1c174

Ooh no, no belt! Keep it simple. Amaahazing shoes though.

I can’t find the dress on M&S!

I like those belts (especially the second), but I think with that dress it would look odd as the ruching would be visible around the edges. I'm not sure I would wear a belt at all with it.

Just realise first belt is either pink or Khaki so suggesting same Obi wrap style belt in black but they also do gold ones which would look spectacular with the red dress
second obi belt

Sort haven’t read the thread, but you have a lovely figure. I kind of like the dress, but not sure it’s weddingy.

Not getting it right tonight try again. loveyaayaa.com/collections/leather-obi-belts

So if I go for something v classic 'wedding-y' (prom dress style etc) from monsoon or whatever I think I'll feel more fuddy duddy and mumsy than in this which has a bit of a fashion edge to it, if that makes sense?

Yep. IMO most of the other dresses suggested are generally frumpier because they are more wedding-y. They might be pretty but I don’t think that’s what you’re going for.

Hobbs has a shoe sale on btw - their heels can be quite comfortable. The earlier suggestion of gold or navy is good. I know wedges are 70s but unless they are Terry de Havilland or similar please don’t, it would look apologetic.

www.terrydehavilland.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/MARGAUX-NEON.jpg currently reduced to £150

I don’t think you need a belt, it won’t flatter your bust or the dress.

here it is on the M and S website

I hadn't seen it on the website, I bought in store - it looks very different and very loose on the model. Seeing how they intended it to fit makes me feel a bit less pleased than I was about how easily the 12 fitted me!

OP, I think the dress is really nice but for dinner or the office not a wedding... the fact that you can see your fab figure better in your pjs tells you EVERYTHING you need to know. That jersey quite casual for a wedding.

I am similar size to you and LOVE a bit of Amish style (and loathe preppy middle class ‘neat’ style, it’s just not me)... I think a jumpsuit would answer all your needs and that floral one linked to would be gorgeous on you. Black scrappy sandals from asos and a black clutch, away you go.

Strappy! Not scrappy!

The thing is, I want to look a bit casual. I'm not thinking about turning up in my jeans, obviously, and I do want to look nice and attractive, but I'd a million times rather look a bit underdressed than a bit overdressed (especially for this crowd at the wedding). I know lots of women feel differently but that's just my own style - I don't like 'dressy' and have a bit of a horror of 'fussy' in clothing.

I know I'm being very awkward in rejecting lots of very helpful suggestions - I am grateful, honestly!

By the way, to the couple of people who were worried about me flashing my pants - don't worry, I know you can see them in the first photos but it's only if they're dark so I won't wear black knickers (or bra, you can also see that) if I do wear it!