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Original poster

So I'm 40, and attending a grad ball full of Millennials...what do I wear?!

71 replies

Nenuco · 18/04/2019 14:01

I retrained and am now in a graduate role. I know you might think I'm delusional, but most people in my cohort don't think I'm 40. (I'm also Asian, so that helps)

Now we have a grad ball, and I really don't know what to wear. What do people wear to balls these days? What colour? It's going to be a winter ball. I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb.

I'm cool-toned, top-heavy, 5'8", size 14, with a round face, chubby cheeks, fair skin, and typical Asian features.

Suggestions please?

I actually like what she's wearing -- is this black tie appropriate? Maybe in a different colour- will black be too heavy?

www.notdressedaslamb.com/2016/05/dressed-like-fairy-princess-in-sparkly-crop-top-maxi-tulle-skirt.html

HELP!!!

OP posts:
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18
Weathergirl1 · 18/04/2019 14:24

I'd go for long length for a 'ball'. Any colour as long as it suits you (black is 'safe' and there will be lots of others wearing black). I wouldn't worry to much about a style as long as it suits/flatters your figure. You're probably going to have to try some on and see what they look like.

PS: the dress in the link is pretty!

thedevilinablackdress · 18/04/2019 15:51

Something you'd wear to a wedding or fancy party? You're not aiming to fit in with the youths, but to be 'fancy' you.

chemenger · 18/04/2019 15:56

I’ve been to student balls and I’m way older than you. They wear a huge range of dresses from the sublime to the silly! Usually a mix of long and short but mostly long. Just get something that you like and that suits you. There will be every colour being worn. I normally wear a long sleeved high necked one because I don’t want to get caught out exposing flesh in their millions of pictures (I’m an academic with dignity to preserve).

chemenger · 18/04/2019 15:59

Can you find any pictures from previous balls? I had to go to an event with s slightly vague dress code, everybody I knew who had been previously was a male engineer so could not describe what the scattering of women wore. Eventually I found some pictures and worked out what the norm was.

GemmeFatale · 18/04/2019 16:08

Love the skirt in the link you provided.

If you’re 40 and most of the grad ball attendees are early 20’s you’re as close to being a millennial as they are. If you mean actual millennials you’re only a few years older than the top of that age bracket (oldest millennials are late 30’s now).

whymewhynow · 18/04/2019 17:09

I'd wear something a little less formal that shows you are sophisticated and not doing prom queen dress-up, perhaps a female version of a tux with cigarette trousers or a backless jumpsuit? You say that you are Asian - could you wear something really amazing from your cultural background?

Original poster
Nenuco · 19/04/2019 05:19

I've tried to find pictures from previous events but weirdly can't find any.

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Original poster
Nenuco · 19/04/2019 08:13

Is it necessary to be long or can I wear a cocktail dress?

I actually have this dress:

www.nordstromrack.com/shop/product/1492710/carmen-marc-valvo-infusion-sequin-cutaway-fit-flare-dress?color=BLACK

OP posts:
thedevilinablackdress · 19/04/2019 08:22

Yes, that'd be great.

bingohandjob · 19/04/2019 08:45

I think I'd really lean into it and wear a tux.

Brittanyspears · 19/04/2019 08:59

That dress is beautiful!
Don’t know if this will make you feel better but some millenials are pushing 40. 21 year olds are gen z!

Original poster
Nenuco · 19/04/2019 09:01

Maybe i can rent a suit and wear something inside?

www.glamcorner.com.au/designers/elliatt/ceremony-jacket-and-pant-set

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Original poster
Nenuco · 19/04/2019 09:02

Don’t know if this will make you feel better but some millenials are pushing 40. 21 year olds are gen z!

I think the cohort is majority in their 20s, but there are some are in their 30s and I know one who is 46.

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chemenger · 19/04/2019 12:57

The dress is perfect.

beachyhead · 19/04/2019 12:59

I like the dress you already have and it's suitable as well.

TheGodmother · 19/04/2019 13:04

I love your black dress. Love it love it! But this is your Graduation Ball, straighten that crown up princess and wear the sparkly ball gown! Too right!!!

When are you ever gonna have a chance to wear a dress like that again???

Original poster
Nenuco · 19/04/2019 13:48

wear the sparkly ball gown! Too right!!!

The black dress or the princess-y one from the blogger?

OP posts:
TheGodmother · 19/04/2019 14:12

The princess one!! Sorry was too excited about the dress! Hahahaha

Original poster
Nenuco · 20/04/2019 06:09

The princess one!! Sorry was too excited about the dress! Hahahaha

Love it too, but having a hard time finding similar items! I have never dressed up like a princess. Maybe it's time to. :P

OP posts:
Original poster
Nenuco · 20/04/2019 10:12

Is this (in black) a bad idea?

So I'm 40, and attending a grad ball full of Millennials...what do I wear?!
OP posts:
Trills · 20/04/2019 10:18

Thank you for that clarification on ages @GemmeFatale - people so often say "millennials" in sentences that would sound very weird if they said "adults under 40".

Elllllle · 20/04/2019 10:27

The grad/student balls Ive been to are all cocktail dress type affairs. As much as I love the tulle skirt and crop top, you would have to be seriously confident to carry it off.

Eviecee · 20/04/2019 10:31

If you want to merge into the crowd a bit then wear the black dress you already have; its a lovely dress but isn't making a big statement.

TantricTwist · 21/04/2019 14:52

I went to a Uni ball the other week and they were all wearing normal long dresses from the high street in every colour and pattern imaginable only the over 30's wore black so steer clear of black I guess.

Easterhunny · 21/04/2019 21:17

What previous posters said - dont try to out youth the 23 year olds but look like a great looking 40 year old. The princess dress looks nice in principle but I think it wouldn't look as flattering in person.

With your colouring (assume it's dark hair and eyes im similar ) you can work red (dark burgundy red not cheap club wear) or dark green (the shade the Duchess of Sussex wears a lot ) Maybe a more classic style - figure hugging but not too much visible flesh, really good eye make up and a little bit of sparkly jewellery for the photos . White is always striking but you need to make sure The cut is right

The vibe i would be trying to give is more " Joan Holloway dropped in for cocktails " than competing to be prom queen