Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

I feel like an ogre...

84 replies

TheBlackDaliah · 24/03/2019 14:53

I shower and shave legs and underarms daily, wax undercarriage as and when it needs it. I wash my hair daily and wear makeup. I look after my nails.
I wear okay clothes (inexpensive but they suit me) so why do I still look crap?
My skin is horrible even though I cleanse, scrub etc to within an inch of it's life! I've lost lots of weight but I am not toned and genuinely zero time for excercise. Two children means my stomach is just horrific.
I am pale skinned so every mark on my body shows (I scratched my leg last August and the red line is still there!)
I look at other women who seemingly put less 'effort' into looking good than I do and they look bloody amazing.
What am I doing wrong?

OP posts:
Prettyvase · 24/03/2019 19:47

What about your diet and exercise?

I would give it an overhaul as a diet based on fresh fruit and veg, nuts, seeds and fish with limited processed foods/ dairy/ meat is better for your health, skin and feeling of wellbeing.

If you have no time to exercise then roll out of bed and do one plank and one child pose and then build up from that.

Good luck.

TheBlackDaliah · 24/03/2019 20:03

Hmm I am listening honest, skin care wise my point is I pretty much am doing as much as I can afford without seeing the results I want (dermatologist etc out of the question I'm afraid) I haven't tried changing my diet so maybe that's something I can try!

OP posts:
Terriergrrrrrrrr · 24/03/2019 20:13

Re skin, stop overwashing and ditch the scrubs. Use a liquid exfoliant with bha/salicylic acid to unclog without drying. I use Paula's Choice extra strength exfoliant 2% bha and it's unclogged my pores and fades post-spot red marks. Spotty skin made me sad for 30 years but this stuff has given me good skin - happy days. Give it a go.

PinkLipsDontLie · 24/03/2019 20:21

May I ask how much it costs to visit a dermatologist in Britain? Here it would be around 50e, so that's the kind of price point I had in mind but I realise it might be different.

user1457017537 · 24/03/2019 20:26

I like Paula’s Choice exfoliant as well it really is excellent. I wax, colour hair and have a mani/pedi at the beginning of each month. I also do one thing a day beautywise, for today I plucked my eyebrows. I also washed and deep conditioned my hair. I have hair Botox.

EngagedAgain · 24/03/2019 21:12

I think for some reason you are being too hard on yourself. Even most people who are attractive when young, their looks fade or figure changes as they age. Show off your best features and minimise what you feel is the worst, most of us have them. Most of all, remember beauty really is only skin deep.

RuggyPeg · 24/03/2019 21:59

What's your current skincare regime? You can get great results now using products with active ingredients for not much money. The ordinary started it all off but I personally don't rate them. The Inkey List, INDEED Labs, QRXLABS and GOW are much better. Basic regime is:

A.m - vit c and SPF
P.m - retinol
Acid tone twice a week
Dermarolling once a week.

SurgeHopper · 25/03/2019 00:15

Definitely look at your diet. Makes a massive difference

MollyYouInDangerGirl · 25/03/2019 00:20

I'm sure you dont look bad at all OP, but I also feel let down by my appearance a lot of the time and it really knocks your confidence so I really sympathise.

I am currently seeing an NHS dermatologist and interestingly the skin care brand that the NHS recommend is La Roche Posay which is available in boots.

Hope you find something that can boost your confidence Flowers

TheBlackDaliah · 25/03/2019 07:44

Okay thanks everyone, I am going to give your suggestions a try and see how I get on 😊

OP posts:
DerbyRacer · 25/03/2019 07:55

I paid £250 to see a dermatologist. The only thing she suggested was to wash my face with Dermol 500 and try anti biotics or roaccutane. She said it is just the kind of skin I have and is nothing I am doing to cause it. It was a waste of £250 because I am not wanting to do antibiotics or roaccutane. My skin has really affected my confidence. I am in my 40s and still have crap skin.

Swiftier · 25/03/2019 08:00

@PinkLipsDontLie - I’m in London and it would be about £250 for a consultation. So not cheap. OP hopefully you can see some results with what people on here have suggested, otherwise a visit to the GP might be worth it.

user1457017537 · 25/03/2019 08:03

Good luck you just need to get your mojo back Flowers

user1457017537 · 25/03/2019 08:05

DerbyRacer why don’t you look into lasers. My son had treatment for acne in Harley Street and it was extremely successful. I think it’s blue light laser but can’t really remember. His skin is beautiful now and acne free 12 years later. It is expensive but well worth it.

PinkLipsDontLie · 25/03/2019 08:26

@DerbyRacer and @Swiftier wow that's a lot of money to see a doctor! I mean just a consultation, no therapy or action on their part, it's ridiculous...

TheBlackDaliah · 25/03/2019 08:55

£250 is about what I thought a consultation would be 😕 well out of my price range unfortunately!
I just wanted a cheap and cheerful miracle I guess.... Never mind, some good suggestions on here for me to have a go at.

OP posts:
Ruby789 · 25/03/2019 10:06

Oh OP, I sympathise. I too have translucent skin that shows everything and heals slowly, I have dark sebaceous filaments all over my nose, I'm not prone to spots but do have facial eczema, redness, broken capillaries, very dark circles and freckles, with dark hair and lots of early greys which means dyeing it every 3 weeks. I have to battle my skin and hair (head and body) just to look like I haven't bothered.

The best thing I ever did was get my excess body hair lasered off. I know that's out of your budget for now, but try to save up and keep an eye out for deals. In the meantime I second switching to an epilator so you will spend less time dealing with excess body hair and associated issues.

I also strongly encourage you to embrace being pale. Look at Nicola Roberts, she looks amazing with her naturally pale skin. I think she looks better pale than she ever did tanned.

As odd as it sounds I think you'll like what you see in the mirror more, the less time you spend grooming. Find ways to make necessary grooming go further, so wash your hair every other day, epilate instead of shaving, embrace being pale, pare back to a more basic and super gentle routine and follow PP's advice about diet and exercise.

Ruby789 · 25/03/2019 10:22

That last bit, I mean to say that if you wake up each day with a list of things you have to fix just to be viewed by yourself as acceptable, your focus is feeding dissatisfaction. It's your mindset that needs addressing.

user1457017537 · 25/03/2019 10:30

I have translucent skin as well, but even at my advanced age I suit foundation which makes my skin look good. I don’t suit powdered foundation or blushers but really suit cream formulations.

Floisme · 25/03/2019 11:30

Another one with pale skin who disagrees about fake tanning. Admittedly I also have fair/greying hair so the contrast isn't as startling but I can honestly say my fake tan era was one of my worst ever looks (second only to the Sun-in years).

Pale skin can often be sensitive - not always but, as others have said, it's possible that you're doing too much and making things worse.

And I agree with everyone who says you sound unduly hard on yourself - and I'm as vain as they come. I like Ruby's comment: As odd as it sounds I think you'll like what you see in the mirror more, the less time you spend grooming.

O4FS · 25/03/2019 11:42

You could try Beauty Pie - it’s a subscription service which sells quality products at a reduced price. I don’t use it myself but a friend who is really into her lotions etc rates it highly.

PinkLipsDontLie · 25/03/2019 11:52

I have a suggestion that I think will help a lot. I found a Greek pharmacy web shop that sends in Europe, I have bought from them myself, although obv I event tried the EU service to know costs. Delivery costs are calculated at checkout so you can see if it's affordable. I suggest trying Froika products, which I also use myself.

bestpharmacy.gr/en/froika-ac-liquid-cleanser-sal-wash-200ml.html

Excellent salycilic acid face wash that you should use day and night religiously, to help clear the blackheads.

bestpharmacy.gr/en/froika-hyaluronic-face-serum-30ml.html

Weightless moisture serum, non-comedogenic, with hyaluronic acid, to restore hydration.

Anything I've tried from this company is very good and effective. I don't know if you can find them elsewhere in UK, in Amazon they are out of stock, bit didn't check or every single product.

TheBlackDaliah · 25/03/2019 13:23

PinkLipsDontLie I will look into that thanks! Sorry for not replying sooner, I am full of a cold/sickness bug today so you can imagine how lovely I look right now 😳
Typically being ill has made my skin flair up even more so I will definitely need some of the products you mentioned to get it better!

OP posts:
Floisme · 25/03/2019 13:31

Typically being ill has made my skin flair up even more so I will definitely need some of the products you mentioned to get it better!

Op I am no expert but this is setting off alarm bells for me. Trying out lots of new products was probably the most damaging thing I ever did to my face. If you do have sensitive skin then it won't improve things and it could even make matters worse.

Hope you feel better soon.

TheBlackDaliah · 25/03/2019 13:42

Oh I don't know, I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. It doesn't get better if I treat it delicately so I don't think trying things makes it any worse 😐

OP posts: