In just over a years time, I get married. And I look haggard

[SnipSnipMrBurgess]

I will be 39 and look twice as old.

I'm not putting myself down, it's being realistic. I'm approx 5 stone over weight and at 5ft2, am short and stocky.

My skin is grey and lumpy with deep wrinkles and bags round the eyes. My top lip disappears when I smile. I'm missing teeth due to an accident.

My hair is frizzy and dry and I have psoriasis so have bald patches at the hairline.

Despite all of this, he still wants to marry me which is great but how can I present myself like this? I'm not photogenic in the slightest.

Is there time? Can I reduce or reverse these wrinkles and bags? I've an appointment to get teeth sorted but it's all well and good to have nice teeth if I look a wreck.

Any recommendations, I'm open to, lasers, lotions, potions, the lot

When you're smiling and happy no one else will even notice any of these things. On your wedding day you will be glowing with joy and that's what will be evident to everyone there and in your photos.

Please don't stress yourself trying to become someone else. Your fiancé loves you because you are YOU! Just as you are!

If you did want to make some changes, I would just focus on the simpler things that will make the majority of difference - hair, skin and nails.

Congratulations by the way!!!

What Botanica says! But if it is for you, book a consultation with a Cosmetic Clinic and see what they recommend! Laser resurfacing or a peel could be an option maybe?

Just amending that I do NOT mean to have cosmetic surgery! Just a place where they do fillers, botox etc

Lol cosmetic surgery is not a bad idea!

Your wedding day is the start of what will, hopefully, be a long, happy marriage with the man you love and who loves you. That is all that ought to matter. I think there's far too much emphasis these days on the bride having to look like some kind of weird photoshopped version of herself as a minimum acceptable standard.

I would focus on looking after the bits that are direct health concerns, like the psoriasis and the missing teeth. Can you see your GP about getting some polytar shampoo and some topical cream to reduce the appearance of the scaly patches? Likewise, if you're registered with an NHS dentist they should be able to advise you on getting some replacement teeth for the missing ones. These are not exclusively aesthetic concerns and I think your general well-being would be improved by sorting them out.

Having said all that, if you are really unhappy with your appearance there are things you can change quite easily without resorting to surgery and/or fillers. For hair that is generally frizzy and dry (as mine is) I think the best thing to do with it is to get as short a cut as you can carry off, and then have weekly intensive conditioning treatments, such as Aussie 3-Minute Miracle. Your hair will never change its type but you can mitigate the effects somewhat.

As for skin, getting enough sleep and eating right will make the world of difference to your complexion. Could you try cutting out caffeine and alcohol for a month and keeping yourself topped up with water on a regular basis and see if it helps with the tone and plumpness of your skin? It is fairly pointless to get fillers and Botox if you're not doing the basics, after all.

I'd start with drinking lots of water every day which will improve your skin, and work on adding moisture and protein to your hair (this can be done cheaply). Both of those things will make you feel and look better and can't hurt you!

Oh and wear a good UVA and UVB sunscreen every day, all year around. There are light weight ones that aren't greasy, like la Roche posay.

Thanks all, I know you are right bit if you could see the state of me, you would agree!

I'll def have a look at how to improve things first. Knowing my luck I'd get botox and it would go wrong!

Start having regular facials. They made a lot of difference before my wedding.
I have had laser facials and they are expensive very but effective.

Good skincare routine. Serums? Vitamin c/A? SPF daily.

See a specialist about psoriasis. Hair appointment, good anti-Fritz products.

Lots of water, eat well; so good fats such as salmon, nuts, avocados etc.

A year is plenty of time and it sounds like you could make a few changes which would have a big impacts

I watched lots of YouTube videos of Dr Sam Bunting (Sam in the city) and gradually worked out what might help my skin type. I kept it simple and bought cheap products from Deciem. It made a huge difference and if your skin looks good people notice you glow, plus it makes you feel better.

Are you trying to lose weight?

Have a look at beauty pie. I know it seems far fetched but they have a few easy fix products that have a small but immediate effect at a very low price.

I am very sure that you do not look as bad as you think....

So I would work on two things

1. Start eating (very) clean. Vegetables, fruit, salad. maybe join slimming world or similar but only if you feel like it. Plenty of water, cut out alcohol.
2. Good skincare - get yourself to somewhere like clinique and buy the shop (I'm only half joking) then do the routine morning and evening, moisturizer, cleanser etc etc. You don't need make-up just some great cleansers and moisturizers with SPF in them.
3. Make sure you are getting enough sleep.
4. Get your hair done at a great salon, look for people who have good hair and get a recommendation.
5. Then go for a cosmetic place to get you eyebrows done beautifully.

Only then do you start looking at botox etc....or deciding whether to lose weight.

• Add to 4 - get a conditioning treatment....

I have very sensitive skin and everything I do shows. I look best when I don't smoke or drink, eat carrots and citrusfruit everyday and sleep before midnight. I only drink water except for one cheat a day, either diet come or a plain tea. I also slap on moisteriser the second I leave my shower in the morning. Maybe there is something in this comment that you can try?

If you're getting married next year/ he loves you, for you. Try taking a leaf from his book x

Drink lots of water, I swear it helps my skin. Have you booked your photographer yet? I'm not photogenic but my photographer made me feel beautiful. I am also hugely uncomfortable in front of a camera. I got my teeth done a few years before I got married but it really transformed my life, and my teeth weren't even that bad.

Congratulations OP!

This seems to be more about mindset. But anyway.
To address one of your issues, try mixing baking powder (not baking soda) into your shampoo and conditioner. I mix apple cider vinegar with water into the conditioner too. I did it after getting the tip on a MN thread. It appears to have changed my very hair type, from frizzy and unruly to silky, shiny and obedient. Costs pennies!

Getting married is the best incentive to get my looks sorted out i've ever found, a year is loads of time to make a big difference!
I think a lot of people are saying the same but eat healthier, drink lots of water and increase exercise. Over a year this will make a huge difference to your skin and your weight. I joined slimming world the year before my wedding and would highly recommend.
Get a good face moisturiser and good shampoo/conditioner.

Getting your teeth fixed will make a massive difference. Can you get them professionally whitened too?

When I got married I had my make up done and a spray tan (both first time ever) and both made a small difference to the overall effect. I had my hair curled too with a practice run. Every little bit helps!

I also lost ten pounds, not even particularly trying, just rushing around busy.

Oh and I can recommend this lovely fine-milled facial scrub powder. It's slowly but surely resurfacing and polishing my skin, erasing red patches and blemishes:

www.biore.com/en-us/dont-be-dirty/baking-soda-cleansing-scrub

I can recommend No7 protect & perfect for your skincare, really simple, eye cream, serum and day/night cream everyday. I have used this for years but had about 2 years of cost-cutting so didn't bother, when I got back into it it actually made a big big difference to my wrinkles, so there is still hope!

I got married 6 weeks ago and have recently got the photographs back. Beforehand I hated the fact my top lip disappeared when I smiled and practised a staged 'perfect' smile for all my formal wedding photos.
And you know what? My favourite picture is immediately after our first kiss where we both have huge natural grins and I forgot my stages smile and my lip had disappeared. But we look so happy!!

Also congratulations!