Help me find my style

[ILike]

I’ve always played it safe/plain when it comes to my ‘look’ but following a serious illness, weight gain and the end of a LTR, I’m finally starting to get things back on track and have recently lost 2st. I feel now is the time to reinvent myself.

My problem is I don’t know how to dress or style my hair (I’m reasonably good at makeup however). I don’t enjoy shopping and I’m not sure which shops are for me. I live in tshirts and jeans.

Anybody got any advice on where to start please? I’m mid 30’s, 5’11, size 14 with an hourglass figure, wide hips, small bust, good legs, tummy bulge, waist length dark wavy hair which I wear down usually.

You could look at the John Lewis online personal style edit.
Or their free in-shop stylist service.

Hopefully others will be along with more useful advice! Wishing you well after having gone through so much.

A Pinterest board of things that catch your eye may help. Try and work out what colours suit you.

Only buy things that either go with everything e.g a black top or that you love and feel good putting on.

Accentuate you waist and legs.

I would start with a good haircut. Waist length hair is hard to dress or style as there is simply too much of it. Take it at least to bra strap length and with a good cut and shape you won't have to do much more than hang upside down and blow dry it. If you do want to put it up you have a lot more options to braid it or put it in a bun without an epic fuss.
Once you have your new look you'll be ready to match it with a new way of dressing.

If you're happy in jeans then stay in them, just team them with a shirt. Tuck in the front and blouse it a little to hide your tummy, I sometimes just tuck in only one side, make sure you wear a belt as it really finishes a look. At this time of year you can wear an ankle boot with a mid heel and when the weather is nicer you can cuff your jeans and wear either with a pump, sneakers or loafers. Top with a blazer for a smart finish or a crew neck jumper for a more casual look.

This is a good time of year to try out skirts as pairing them with tights means you feel less bare. You have the height to carry off any length of skirt. I love a retro high waisted slim skirt with boots or heeled pumps and a buttoned up blouse.

Book a session with a department store stylist. Do you have a favourite tv show that you like the style of? Or an actor or singer? give the stylist as much info as you can about what you like to see on others and she should be able to find something similar to work with your figure. You are under no obligation to buy what she chooses. Once you know what works for you then you can shop around. If you have a trusted friend take them with you but sometimes it's more empowering to do it by yourself.

Thanks so much for the advice all. I’m going to post a photo although I look hideous in it. Also realised my hair isn’t quite waist length (I don’t look in mirrors often ).

Even though I live in jeans/jeggings, I find it really hard to find ones that fit well so maybe I should start there? I like skinny jeans/jeggings but find if they fit my hips, they are baggy on my legs and I often get a ‘pouch’ of fabric. If they are structured, I get a muffin top or belly overhang. The ones I’m wearing here are ready for the bin but then most of my clothes are.

I’d be really grateful for some suggestions.

Is there someone you admire the style of?

Try dedicating a morning to being in a large department store and just trying anything and everything on...you might be surprised by what suits you

Or try a personal shopper or critical friend

I found my style by shopping in charity shops! The fab prices tempted me to try things on I would look twice at. It's taken a while to build my wardrobe up as everything is by chance but it's been worth it

This is going to sound so old fashioned but have you googled the Trinny and Suzanna body shape identifier thing? It could help a lot to learn what basic shapes suit you.
I think you definitely need well fitting jeans that are smooth on your tummy and are quite high waisted to hold you in. Tshirts that stop below your belly would help smooth it out too DO NOT wear square shaped tshirts as they will stop at your widest part. Shift dresses could be good as well. Get a bra that fits well and boosts your boobs to even you out a bit.

I think a long graduated bob would look good on you.

You have a great figure but those jeans are way too baggy.
Not keen on black with navy jeans either.

Sainsbury’s do good jeans, jeggings and jumpers.

Try a black pair.
Cosy grey jumper
Necklace
Black ankle boots

Job done.

I don’t really follow celebs so I couldn’t say if there’s a particular person. I really admire anyone who looks really well put together. My sister is really into clothes and fashion and always looks great but we have very different body shapes and she’s way more daring than me!

I think I’d like to look sophisticated at times and young/sporty/casual at others.

It’s really difficult to go shopping as I’m a lone parent and my asd DD doesn’t generally handle long shopping trips well. I’ll have to do most of it online.

Try looking on Very's website or ASOS. You can get an account for Very, get loads of things delivered and then send back what you don't like without having a huge initial cost!

I’m older than you and not as tall but my hips are exactly like yours. I get on very well with Next jeans, and have a pair on Boden black jeans which also work well. I like to layer a long top under a shorter v neck, crew neck. Long line jackets/blazers really pull things together for a smarter look. Have found nice longer length jackets in Mango.
quite a few here
Although people generally think hour glass figures should wear jackets with nipped in waists but they don’t work very well for me. Agree with PP above about belts on jeans being good to finish the look. Also about nice ankle boots and a turn up at the hem of the jeans. Recently bought maroon ankle boots from Clarks.
here

When I lost weight recently I really didn’t know how to dress myself. I ended up following advice given to me on here, and went shopping, trying on loads of things I’d never normally have tried on. Things I used to just avoid because ‘they don’t suit me’- I actually didn’t buy much that day, but it made me really rethink the way I viewed myself, particularly how I used to hide in baggy clothes and now suddenly I had a shape!
If you have a few hours free, I’d recommend doing that, either alone or with an honest friend.

How about asking your sister to help? Even though you have different body types, she may have a good eye for shapes, styles and colours that will work for you.

I think your hair is lovely actually.
I think you need to start with a really good well fitting bra. John Lewis are usually good at measuring you up.
Then some shape wear/control knickers to hold you in.
M&S have excellent jeggings for £15 which are nice and high waisted and very flattering. Just get a few pairs of those in dark colours.
Then all you need are a nice pair of Chelsea boots or other ankle boots and a few nice winter woolies. Sizing up will help to hide your midriff. eBay is a good place to pick up nice cashmere sweaters. Or Uniqlo etc.

Definitely ask your sister.

You've got great legs, accentuate them.

Your picture shows you are great raw material! You look great and have the height to pull off many looks others couldn't achieve. As you like jeans, start with those. Go to a department store that has lots of brands and start there. Expect it to take some time. Try Gap, H&M, Uniqlo and Topshop for inexpensive but great jeans. Zara maybe too but they ofter come up small. Lucky for you, slightly too short jeans are very on trend so you will have less worry about not finding them long enough. Try on styles you may have rejected before - flares, straight, skinny - just try them all. If you have any loose tummy flesh, try higher waisted. They hold it all in and are very comfy. Once you have the jeans sorted, build from there....some good footwear - stylish low ankle boots and maybe a heeled boot.

Thanks so much everyone - the suggestions are great and giving me a good idea of where to start. I will ask my sister if she will come shopping with me. She does get frustrated with me though

I had a spare hour whilst in a nearby city today so took advantage of different shops and tried a few things on. However, it just reminded me of why I hate shopping. I looked so awful in the mirrors and it dashed my emerging confidence

I’ve realised I’m inbetween sizes so I’m going to buy a few cheaper bits to tide me over and have a proper shopping trip once I’ve lost the rest of my excess weight. I tried on some high waisted jeans in next and they looked so much better but just a touch off being able to do them up comfortably so didn’t buy.

I did find myself reaching for baggy tops/jumpers so I’m going to have to try harder to move out of my comfort zone.

I ordered some ‘interim’ stuff from DPs as I know their tall range is a little more generous in the fit. The jeans look sooo much better than the overstretched 16s I’ve been wearing.

I also ordered this dress and coat but not sure about them? What do you think? (Please excuse messy room )

I love the coat! It's gorgeous on you. I love your hair having seen a photo of it. Not so keen on the dress.

I love the dress and the coat. Both really suit your figure.

For jeans I would go for a jegging/skinny type with some stretch in, then they will be tight in legs and hold tummy in to

Today I brought 5 pairs for Matalan April jeans and there brill, high waist so no muffin top and tight in legs... im a size 8 with long thin legs so struggle to get so alway go for super skinny jeans oh and they are only £16 a pair

I almost commented yesterday but thought better of it - I'm at a very different life stage so my suggestions are highly unlikely to seem helpful!

But - please don't cut your hair! It's perfect as it is and only needs maintenance. And - you already have a style: 5:11, hourglass figure and long hair. Really don't see why you need more than that.

As regards your interim buys - you seem to be hiding behind dark colours! The dress would be great in a different colour with either no sleeves or long sleeves. The belt on the coat is nice.

I think you indicated you wanted to move away from 'safe' dressing? How much time do you have for browsing? I'd suggest spending some time on the websites of Zara and & Other Stories - the actual quality of items is ... uneven, but their styling is beautiful - particularly in the editorial sections.

Another site worth a look (irrespective of whether you would consider buy from them!) is <a class="break-all" href="//evwww.marquesalmeida.com/shop.html?limit=aller" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Marques Almeida - just to embrace the unsafe! Their quality is outstanding, too.

Also - I honestly think you'd do as well to take yourself off to some portrait galleries and absorb all the various ways of presenting oneself to the world. It doesn't all have to be sensible.

Better link!

The coat is fabulous and really suits you. Not so keen on the dress. I think it's the length of the sleeves. Your hair is wonderful, really no need to cut it, just enjoy it. I think you would suit some different colours - red, teal, burnt orange maybe - and maybe a different style of dress. Bodycon but with better sleeves and a lower neckline, or fit and flare type dresses would be flattering for your shape. I'm tall and hourglass and they are the shapes I generally find look the best.

Hair
Skin
Weight/ Health/ Fitness
Nails
Accessories (decent shoes, coat, bag and a nice pair of earrings)

Get these right and you will look good in anything and won't need to drop loads of money on clothes.

Op have you ever tried tall jeans/trousers? I had a similar issue with fit - either they fit in the hips with gaping crotch/waist/legs or they fit on the legs and crotch/waist is digging in. Tall trousers were a revelation. I don't have legs a mile long, more's the pity, so they always need taking up, but a lot of tall trousers have the hem left down. The main thing is that they fit the rest of me.
Asos do some nice tall trousers. I just bought these and I love them.