Please help me stop being so frumpy!

[TeaByTheSeaside]

I'm 50 next year. I don't have a clue what suits me and I go around looking a total frump.

I'm size 16-18 and 1 1/2 stone overweight (currently doing slimming World so that will hopefully change) .

I'm an apple shape so big up top with a big tummy.

Can you offer me any advice at all?

I'll post some pictures of how I go around looking.

Both nice/stylish and not to put if comfort zone outfits.

*out of
Good point about cross body bag Cobrider I’m going to ditch mine, esp with big bust!

Agree re cross Odyssey bag, Ian.guilty of using them, a bit bigger than youop and I look like dumpling woman!

Hmm interested to see if the general consensus is that you look frumpy or not OP as I tend to wear similar clothing, and am similar age and size. Also a tendency to frumpiness - even though I mainly like my clothes!

I do agree with posters comments regarding bra and cross body bag as sometimes when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror I have thought the same about the bag I wear- so useful and comfortable though.

You shop in Boden and White Stuff, don’t ya?

You’re not frumpy but you have fallen into the ‘practical mummy wears easily washable clothes in girly patterns’ trap.

Agree with other posters: show your legs and bum off and don’t wear baggy things top and bottom. I put weight on my tum too, but if I do I wear a looser top and fitted bottom half.

You don’t have to do super skinny jeans. You’ve got the legs to carry off rolled up girlfriend jeans. That will update your look.

I’d look for some really good jackets if I were you. Not fussy & patterned, a plain dark-ish colour and a sharp, chic cut. M&S have a great short waterproof navy jacket with a funnel neck at the moment. A good jacket updates your look and makes you look more pulled together. Same goes for winter coats.

Your cross body bag looks a bit lumpen, get a different style.

Seconding the poster who said avoid fuss around your neckline (scarves, necklaces). I have broad shoulders and those things don’t suit me. Show off your wrists with bracelets instead. Good legs and good arms normally go together.

You’re tall and a good clothes horse shape, so it shouldn’t be hard to make changes. Your hair is nice too. Good luck.

You look great! You really do. Are you really near 50?

I recently had a free personal shopper with House of Fraser (be quick 😒) and I left feeling so much better about myself. I had been buying clothes 2 sizes too big and feeling frumpy. She, simply by bringing the correct sizes and challenging how I perceived myself helped me see my true self and restored my sense of self. She was great! Practically speaking I am wearing clothes that fit me better (baggy makes me look bigger) AND feel more confident.

I suspect you may also be hiding a great figure in baggy clothes. It's not 100% true however "it's all in the mind" carries a lot of weight #wondershowmanyclichescanfitinonepost

Good advice on here.

1. definitely a GOOD bra
2. your necklines are neither high nor low, I think you need to choose one an go with it. The necklines say to me 'I want a low neckline, but I don’t dare'. I think lower looks far better with bigger boobs than a high one (you don’t have to show cleavage, but a good scoop looks good.
3. definitely more fitted.

I wish I had the nerve to post here, it’s always easier to see it in others than yourself.

*Post photos

I also agree about the bra. I have quite a big bust and I have 1 very shitty bra that makes my entire torso look larger. The rest are balconette style and lift everything up and makes my stomach look slimmer

Don't wear those baggy trousers, go for more fitted jeans, maybe skinny without being too tight- team it with a chunky heel and it instantly makes you look taller, and makes your legs look slimmer. Don't wear those sandals your wearing in your last photo (I spotted them) I always try and wear some sort of heel to make my ankles and legs look slimmer even if its just a tiny block heel. If I can't then I wear cropped trousers with just the ankle out (not half my calf), this is also very slimming and flattering.

Avoid those awful cardigans. Absolutely nobody should wear them I think they're hideous and unflattering (sorry!). Wear more wrap around tops, a bit lower in the bust show a teeny weeny bit of cleavage. If you want to wear t-shirts do not team it with a cardigan it adds about 15 years to your age. Get a nice jacket/blazer. Even a nice parka coat that has those draw string things round the waist is more flattering. If your an apple shape you want to draw your waist in, so anything that comes in at the waist then out again will be flattering. Wearing a black top with a brighter or just lighter coloured jacket will also be slimming If you have any fleeces, throw them away. Nobody who has pride in how they look should be wearing them under the age of 65.

I think you have a beautiful figure and you should be proud of it. Your nearly 50, not 80. Just look at pinterest, even look at people on the street at outfits you think are gorgeous and take inspiration from that. You will feel like everyone is looking at you at first just because you are very conscious of what you are wearing but I promise nobody is looking or judging. If they look its because how wonderful you are dressed

Forgot to add: there isn't really an age limit on clothes. Unless its a crop top and mini skirt of course!

Going into your average shop like Next, you could wear absolutely everything in there. My mum was the exact same as you, she thought she was limited to what she could wear and the colours she could pull off but she isn't. A light pink blazer, blue skinny jeans, denim jacket -what ever you want to wear you can pull it off so please don't be scared to try new things. Just go into a shop like Next/DP etc and pick up the outfits you WANT to wear the most, not what you feel like you should wear. You'll surprise yourself!

(disclaimer, I don't know the woman in the photo I posted above, she just kept cropping up in my search and was very stylish)

I would suggest the following:
Don't hide your figure under shapeless clothes. Totally agree that with your figure Boden dresses would be great for you.
Bra intervention - get fitted properly and it will make a massive difference to how your clothes look and hang.
Wrap tops, high waist jeans with a slim leg and wrap dresses would flatter you in all the right places.
A good coat/jacket and shoes makes an outfit. Get yourself some wedges and a well cut blazer and some nice jewellery to accessories and this could make all the difference.
You have lovely hair - I think it would be nice up in a messy bun with some nice earrings to emphasise your lovely face shape and jaw line.

I think your clothes and those sandals are far too old for you. The clothes look too big and shapeless and are hiding your figure. Ok so you want to lose weight but you will already have some good bits
(I bet your boobs and legs at the very least are really good?)
Your clothes are camouflaging them instead of accentuating them.
The patterned tops are busy.
Cardis and bags are straight from frumpsville.
That white striped top and white fleece(?) with the scarf does nothing for you.
It all looks drab and old fashioned.
I'll bet it's a long time that you really liked any of those clothes.
Start over with some new well fitting clothes, bag, shoes in styles/colours/materials you absolutely love.

I'm 30 and don't have children (yet - am pregnant) but last year I realised I was dressing like a frumpy mum several years my senior. I took advice from here and the biggest change I made was ditching patterns. I stick to block coloured tops and the difference it's made is astonishing. Doesn't have to be expensive, I got most of mine from oasis or Dorothy Perkins though the ones from more expensive stores do look better. Move away from White Stuff

Also agree that more fitted trousers would really help.

Patterns like that are very granny ish. Look at stripes if you do feel you need a pattern.

Dark tone slim fit jeans would be great on you with a blazer rather than a cardi. A leather bag, any style in tan would look lovely.

Look at creating a capsule wardrobe.

you look like a happy, relaxed person who is clearly loved

What a load of mawkish twaddle. The OP has posted pictures of her clothes because she feels frumpy and wants advice about clothes. She doesn't need therapy or trite platitudes.

Anyway - please get a few decent bras. Nothing makes a woman look more frumpy that boobs that need hoiking up. Get some well fitting clothes - I think you'd look good in tighter trousers. And loose the old lady accessories - the droopy bag and sandals.

I'd get some really well fitting jeans to start, I bet you'd look good in them and steer clear of flowery loose tops.

I’d say, get some new clothing that fits. I live in skinny jeans and soft knit tops with long t shirts underneath; ankle boots with a very slight heel in winter and deck shoes/espadrilles in summer. I do NOT care that I may not be fashionable but find that baggy clothes just make me look “bag lady”. Decent bras aspire a must. No droopy boobs 😉. Same goes for knickers. I’ve got nice lacy ones (only M&S); they’re like shorts, and come up to my waist so, no rolling down all the time.

I read yesterday that one length/coloured hair can be ageing so, maybe a few layers? And I rarely wear anything striped, patterned or frilly. I do beige chinos or 7/8 skinnies with plain shirt in nice pastel colours for summer.

'Mawkish twaddle'

That's my new username, right there!

Test

Damn!

Excellent!

I agree with the comments about jackets rather than cardis, they give you more shape, and you see the shape of the person with a jacket rather than the bumps you get with a cardi.

I think you need to rethink your necklines. The picture where you look the best is the last one, it's a narrow V shape. The blue top isn't so good. I would look at narrow V shapes, so perhaps shirts, and also Meghan style boat necks.

Blown away by the amazing advice here. I never knew pinterest had style ideas on it. I dress similarly to you op, just a few years younger. You have cracking legs. Get em out or show them off.

Hello mawkishtwadle!

Ditch the cardigans. Also get some more fitted clothes, especially jeans/trousers.

Is there someone who's style you like? Definitely have a look at pintrest for ideas. If you are a fan of patterns and colour, try plain coloured tops or stripes. I always think a striped Bretton top is a classic look while adding colour/detail.