Thinning hair is ruining everything!

[Kewqueue]

I have always quite liked dressing up, trying new styles etc but unfortunately I am now losing my hair - a lot. I already have a high forehead which suited a fringe but most of my hair loss is at the front so my fringe has just disappeared. I feel really down about it and feel like there is no point in even trying as a lot of the time my hair is bringing me down. I don't even know why I am posting this tbh, but I would love to know if anyone has overcome this problem (not the hairloss which is impossible but the fixation on it). I would like to try hair bands / scarves to cover up the front of my head but this is really hard to incorporate into the smart clothes I have to wear for work. Basically I don't know wear to start - a hijab would be perfect but it would be a bit strange to suddenly adopt! Any advice welcome.

I'm no expert but my hair has thinned considerably on top, and I'm ver conscious of it, I managed it buy keeping my hair in a short one length bob with no fringe (I used to love my heavy blunt fringe but it turned wispy and fly away and just utterly shit) and side part, I keep my hair close to my head as any kind of body or height just excentuates the sparseness, but it is depressing and bollocks and really knocks the confidence out of me, I look forward to winter when I can wear a bobble hat and not give a shiny shit as the top of my head is hidden away from prying eyes.

Yes Winter is definitely better! I look like a giant egg without a hat!

I have alopecia, and wear wigs most of the time, or rock a shaved head. It’s crap, I’ve had the problem for 40 years, but I’m more or less at peace with it now, and rarely have a bad hair day anymore. Thinning/balding in women is extremely common. My advice would be a) see your GP, get things like ferritin and thyroid checked in case it’s something easily treatable. You might also want to ask for a dermatology referral for a biopsy to check what type of alopecia you are developing. For some types, steroid treatments can help, for others, the only proven treatment is minoxidil. It messes badly with your hair texture, and it’s for life - stop it and any hair you’ve regrown will fall back out. NHS won’t pay for it, so you are looking at a monthly cost forever. For me - steroid treatment wasn’t offered in the 70s and I hated minoxidil with a passion, although it works for some, who are prepared to tolerate the side effects - which for me was horrible texture and a hairy face! Everyone will want to sell you supplements, potions, shampoos etc, but there is no evidence for any of them. I wish I’d spent the money I used to spend on snake oils on more wigs :)

Has anybody had positive experiences with minixol?

I've had all the tests and minoxidil is the o my answer but I don't like it either. Ilovecherries - I would love to hear more about wigs if you don't mind sharing. When did you decide to wear one? My hair loss is all in one area - do you shave the rest? I am a teacher and don't know how to juggle wigs and baldness - should I be honest or try to cover it up?

I had hair loss in 2010 & 2011 at the front mainly, due to an epilepsy medication I was taking.
I had to stop the medication but it took years for the front of my hair to grow back.
I kept the rest of my hair shoulder length & tied it up then wore a selection of wide hair bands, bandanas & scarves.
But I also bought 2 long glamorous fake hair wigs. People who hadn't seen me for a while thought I'd had extensions. I felt very confident wearing them. I would definitely recommend trying a wig.

My hair is still fine & some of the regrowth is greyish white but I now have a fringe & can safely highlight my hair blonde again.

It is horrible to lose your hair & you have my total sympathy, I hope it does regrow.

Ive started googling scalp microblading

I suffer with PCOS and my hair is thinning out on top and sides. I've got bald spots. My friend has recommended biotin , it helped her loads with really bad bald spots she had .

Second biotin and getting thyroid etc checked.

To try to camouflage have a look at Toppik (Amazon have it) which is a fine powder dusted onto the scalp. If nothing else it reduces the scalp shine, it is good to provide an illusion of thicker hair.

ilovecherries - would you mind posting some of the photos you shared on a previous thread. Your wigs are lovely.

Sure. On a train at the moment without WiFi but will do later.

kew I have totally bald patches with diffuse thinning over the rest. I have had total loss 3-4 times, starting at 19 and lasting anything from 6 months-2 years with each remission worse than the one before. I buzz it all to a number 1 every Sunday. My biggest regret is that I didn’t start to wear wigs sooner - at 19 they were hideous and I refused to wear them. I’ve been wearing them just under a year after a mumsnetter encouraged me to give them another go. It was a revelation. I wear synthetic and have a number, all different colours and styles. I decided I would be completely out - no one who knows me would not realise I was doing something radically different so decided I would have the fun I’ve never been able to have with my hair. Plus I’ve come to realise that it’s an incredibly common problem shrouded in grief, despair and shame for many women and I hope by talking openly about it it will help some other woman. Happy to answer any qus but I’m on holiday so may take me a good few hours to get back :).

Oh - one final point. If you are in uk all you need is a ‘to whom it may concern’ letter from your GP confirming your hair loss and you will be able to buy wigs vat free.

ilovecherries - did your gorgeous wigs feel uncomfortable when it was boiling hot?

My neighbour recently admitted to wearing a topper. I have lived next door to her for ten years and would never ever have guessed. She said she has bought real hair ones in the past but now buys synthetic. They blend in perfectly with her real hair, can be cut and styled (not all of them are ok with tongs and straighteners but hers are). She is a teacher too and goes to work looking professional and smart, her hair always looks fabulous. I hope it's ok to comment as I don't have personal experience but just wanted to share it as an option if it's not something you'd thought about.

ilovecherries - thanks for sharing, that's really interesting. I think what has upset me the most is how ashamed I am of losing my hair - which I know is ridiculous. Hope you are having a lovely holiday!

RainySept - interesting! Something I will have to look into, thanks.

Hair clip in extensions. You can buy some lovely Brazilian real hair ones from Amazon, or from afro-carribean beauty stores - and ask your hairdresser to style them.
Just don't panic and have your hair cut really short - as it can make it more noticeable.

Just to give you some idea of what is possible

And a few more. I don’t expect them to be to everyone’s taste, but I like them. I’m completely bald under there.

You look great! I wouldn't know what to do with that amount of hair! I don't think even at its thickest mine looked like that.

If you can't clip the hair pieces to your own hair - how do they stay on?

Shame is a common experience, but you need to find a way to reframe it. You wouldn’t be ashamed of a broken leg, you wouldn’t be ashamed of a wanting to wear a padded bra etc etc. Hair loss and wig wearing is similar - you didn’t ask for it, you did nothing to cause it, and it’s ok to do whatever you need to do to feel ok about it. It’s just bad genetic luck really. I obviously don’t know how advanced your is, and extensions might be the answer for a while, but they just made my scalp sore. Cutting mine really short actually improved the look, and with it buzzed, it actually looks intentional now rather than ‘shit, I didn’t realise it was so bad’. Once you are tuned into wig wearing, you realise there are an awful lot of women wearing them. I find mine comfy - I don’t need any glue, clips, adhesives. One brand I just plop straight on, another is slightly loser and I wear a velvet hair band underneath which acts like Velcro. Once I got used to putting them on properly, they have never slipped.

Everyone is overwhelmed by the volume initially. You get lower density ones - eg the one I’m wearing with the burgundy tee in the coffee shop. You can also have them thinned.

Cutting mine really short actually improved the look, and with it buzzed, it actually looks intentional now rather than ‘shit, I didn’t realise it was so bad’

I am considering this at the moment. Luckily I am quite tall so not everyone can see my bald patch but I do wonder if people think I haven't noticed it! DH is just pretending it is all my imagination.... In some ways I wish it would all just bloody fall out and I could give up trying!

Cherries - they look really good. I would never give them a second glance. I see quite a few women around here with religious hairpieces and for some reason they look very obviously fake (unless that's the point).

I once hopped off the busy next to a woman with an amazing hairdo. It was very elaborately braided and dyed and as I got off the bus with her I told her how brilliant her hair looked. She looked a bit shocked (I thought she was going to punch me actally) then smiled at me (obviously decided I wasn't a loon), winked and said 'it's a wig!'.

I hope you can find a solution you can make peace with. It’s a rubbish problem and you don’t need to rush into anything. What I will say though is I’ve never met a woman who says ‘I wish I hadn’t starting wearing wigs so soon’. Without exception, they all say they wish they’d done it sooner. I would underplay the shock it is to first see yourself with a wig, and until you get used to placing and adjusting it properly you feel a bit insecure. And if you keep your bio hair underneath, it looks hellish when you take the wig off. But it very quickly becomes normal.