Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

No head wear for a wedding?

56 replies

AsherDsNeverFading · 02/08/2018 14:29

I've never been to a wedding as an adult so I need a bit of help!

I've looked at wedding outfits and they all have some kind of hear gear like fascinators or hats. I don't want to buy one and I think I'd look a bit of a prick in one.

Is it alright to go to a wedding without some kind of head gear on?

I mean is it a massive etiquette fail? I've just learned about the no white rule Confused

OP posts:
TheVeryThing · 03/08/2018 12:29

I didn't even wear something on my head for my own wedding, let alone someone else's.
Hats are awful on me and I think fascinators look ridiculous. They have definitely gone out of fashion.
I think the best advice is to look like a more glamorous version of yourself (rather than someone completely different).

DontCallMeCharlotte · 03/08/2018 12:35

I always wear a hat or something on my head to weddings, I just don't feel "finished off" otherwise (I also love wearing hats), but I know I'm in the minority these days.

Incidentally, while I would never wear white/cream to a wedding, I'm not sure I hold with no black/green/red/pearls etc. but I might have to take that back as, I was on the bus a couple of Saturdays ago and there was a woman and her be-suited partner at the opposite bus stop. She was wearing a blush pink full length dress and had a very elaborate updo. For a split second I honestly thought a bride and groom were getting the 64 bus to Church. So I would add blush maxi dress to the list of what not to wear to a wedding as a guest. (She looked sensational by the way)

bellinisurge · 03/08/2018 12:40

At my wedding, I insisted no hats unless you want to.

specialsubject · 03/08/2018 12:57

many years ago I went to a wedding where hats were mandated. Possiby to give the bride a good laugh as we all looked ridiculous.

frumpy headgear went out in the fifties unless you are the queen. fascinators are also a joke.

Racecardriver · 03/08/2018 13:34

What kind of wedding is this? If it is in a church you should wear a hat or hat like fascinator and cover your shoulders if they are bare although its not a huge deal if you don't but it us customary. If it us not a church wedding them it doesn't really matter.

BackforGood · 03/08/2018 13:50

It's quite normal to have one outfit for the ceremony, and another for the reception

In just over 40 years of attending weddings, I can safely say I have NEVER changed between the cerrmony and the Reception, shows excepted and I can't remember anyone else ever doing so either.
So, whereas the Royals and their guests might have at Harry and Meghan's wedding, I think that is the exception rather than the rule.

What kind of wedding is this? If it is in a church you should wear a hat or hat like fascinator and cover your shoulders if they are bare although its not a huge deal if you don't but it us customary.

Whereas I agree with covering your shoulders/chest / back etc., hats are no longer customary in Church. Not for quite some time.

Teaformeplz · 03/08/2018 13:55

I have always worn one outfit for the day and another for the reception 🤷 although I understand this is probably more of a 'posh wedding' thing

ImogenTubbs · 03/08/2018 14:04

It's totally fine not to wear anything on your head. If it's a really formal wedding it will specify in the dress code. Even then I doubt anyone will care unless it's a royal wedding!

ohnothanks · 03/08/2018 21:10

Do churches in most of the UK really care about modest dress for women these days?

The idea of having two different outfits for daytime and evening... mmm no not for me. What a bloody performance, I can think of a million and one things I'd Å•ather spend my time and effort on.

ohnothanks · 03/08/2018 21:11

And money! How could I forget that.wwddings are expensive enough without the additional costs of multiple outfits for everyone. The last one we attended cost in the region of £500 in hotel bill, petrol, food. Utter madness.

Paintbox · 03/08/2018 21:57

2 outfits?! It ISNT quite normal to have two outfits for one wedding. Maybe if you’re royal.

DuchessThingy · 03/08/2018 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohnothanks · 03/08/2018 22:12

I just hate the stupid roolz. So utterly pointless and if people had real stuff to concern themselves about.... yeah,.fewer pointless rules.
Seŕious q. Do men speak to all their mates about appropriate wedding attire or do they just not fucking care?!?!

AuntieStella · 04/08/2018 08:03

Men don't need to. Because there isn't so much to discuss about a suit. Though they will want to know if ordinary or morning suit, and if uniform is being worn (if so, whether blues).

As men remove headwear indoors, there's no need to discuss at all, really. Because even when they shouid have a topper, for arriving/hanging round, in practice you can get away without.

bellinisurge · 04/08/2018 08:23

Married in church. I'm a Catholic. The "rule" was: Wear what you like and that makes you feel fab - hat or not is entirely your call.
No idea where this "you must wear a hat in Church" thing is. Is it aCofE thing? Doubt it.

Paintbox · 04/08/2018 09:00

I’m not sure a lot of this is wet helpful for op who hasn’t been to a wedding before. She wanted to know about hats and is being told about 2 outfits, black tie, morning suits or top hats for men, uniform, and if so, blues(?!) Gilded invited being a clue to the dress codes! Bloody hell its all so over the top and very pretentious in my view.
Op, normal weddings aren’t like this. Just wear a nice dress that doesn’t look bridal and you will be fine. Hats aren’t obligatory. I hope all this hasn’t put you off and you have a lovely time.

Paintbox · 04/08/2018 09:01

very helpful obviously. Not wet

Teaformeplz · 04/08/2018 10:11

Was simply stating that it is quite normal to change outfits. OP hasn't been to a wedding and therefore didn't know what to expect. If it is a fancy wedding and everyone else changed outfits she would wish she had known this was likely to happen

Paintbox · 04/08/2018 11:09

Yes but op has said it isn’t super posh. There won’t be people in 2 outfits.

Teaformeplz · 04/08/2018 12:01

I wear two outfits to any and all weddings. She may prefer this as she stated she prefers to be in comfortable clothing and she could dress formally for the day and wear something she feels more comfortable in for the evening.

MadMaryBoddington · 04/08/2018 12:09

I’ve never known anyone wear two outfits to a wedding. I’ve been to a lot of weddings - fancy ones, budget ones, big ones, small ones, glamorous ones, hippy ones. I’m quite prepared to believe there are some people who do it, but I wouldn’t describe it as normal.

Teaformeplz · 04/08/2018 12:18

Okay well I'm guessing it's not normal in all walks of life, but each have their own traditions. I wouldn't be seen in the same outfit for the whole event and I'm well aware there are people who would never change outfits. I was simply sharing my personal views with someone who asked for advice as she's new to weddings. Some people on here are so unopen to people doing things differently

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 04/08/2018 12:24

Was simply stating that it is quite normal to change outfits.

and others have pointed out that it isn't usual to change in between the wedding and the reception at 'normal' weddings - are you just trying to show off that you go to society weddings and that's what happens there?
OP, at most weddings you attend the wedding ceremony at the church/venue, hang around for ages getting hungry whilst photos are taken and then everyone makes their way to the reception.
If the couple are having an evening do later and there is a break in between, then it is quite common to change into something more suited to going out at night.

Notevilstepmother · 04/08/2018 12:29

Historically women wore hats in church. Not recently.

I’ve never been to a (British) wedding where it was 2 outfits.

OlennasWimple · 04/08/2018 12:31

I always wear a hat to weddings because I love hats and rarely have the opportunity otherwise. I don't care if I'm one of the very few women wearing a hat.

I have never worn two outfits to a wedding, other than my own (I had a "going away" outfit)

Swipe left for the next trending thread