Please, please help a nerd glam up/pretty up a bit. Pic and everything.

[BohemianLikeMe]

So, in a month or so my DP and I are going out for a nice dinner. Nowhere overly smart, but smarter than normal. And romance and stuff. We don't go out a lot, and frankly I just want to take the opportunity to pretty myself up a bit for a change. I live in vest tops and jeans outside of work and skater style casual dresses when it's hot. Frankly, I'd like to look nice, and, ahem, attempt for a bit glam, though not too OTT. I tend to automatically pick up anything that comes in black, but I'm not wedded to it as a colour choice.

I'm not keen on my upper arms. I've lost 5 stone in the last year, and still have a way to go, so they are still kinda flabby. I tend towards lower cut tops, not super low cut, but I have reasonable boobage that I think means anything too high cut makes me look, um, matronly.

Can't see my legs in the photo, but they are probably my best feature. I carry most of my weight around my middle, so I avoid things that are tight around the waist. I'm a size 18/20 depending on fit and 5'8" when not slouching.

I'm 40, but probably don't act it.

I tried to be useful and look online and give examples of what I liked and ask if they would work, but frankly, I have no idea what I am doing which is why I need help.

By the way, I feel quite shaky even asking this question, I've not got a very positive relationship with my body, and I feel nervous about asking people's opinions. But I need to start to get better at living with myself, and I think making an effort to look nice for a nice evening out might do me some good.

I know this seems a small thing, but it's a huge thing for me to start seeing myself as something other than someone who should be hidden away for the sake of other people not being forced to look at me. So any advice would be so appreciated.

Hi There - I think Mint Velvet do very flattering clothes for your shape. Nice soft fabric, flowy. Well done on that amazing weight loss, you must feel proud of yourself! If you're still loosing weight I wouldn't spend a fortune ...get the Mint Velvet look but at TK Maxx?

Ooo. Thank you. I've had a look. That's the sort of thing I need to be pointed at, I looked at the site and went, 'Oh, look that's the sort of thing grown up women wear'(!). That's what I need to understand, where to buy such things. I just want to look stylish for once I think. I've been buying things from New Look and Peacocks and Primark for so long I've forgotten there are other options.

(Thanks for the weight loss compliment. I don't really deserve the praise though. I had a massive mental breakdown, think gibbering wreck on the floor, and lost most of that weight effortlessly, if very unhealthily. It's also had a weird side-effect of resetting my relationship with food, so my eating habits have just naturally altered.)

Another favourite of mine is Onjenu ....look online. The dresses are all stretchy and the wrap styles are very sexy. They are forgiving too...if you carry on losing weight they should be fine. Also comfy post meal....not strangled! I love them. Archipel is a nice shape and they've one left on offer in a 16.

Have a look at Phase Eight for dresses (and jump suits), they will suit your shape and can be very reasonable in the sale.

Have you got some decent make up? A good foundation, bit of lippy and mascara can make the world of difference whilst still looking natural.

The Becca dress is a classic.

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/phase-eight-lace-becca-dress/d836242.pd#271146635,q=becca%26view_all

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/phase-eight-becca-batwing-dress/d727074.pd#241997585

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/phase-eight-colour-block-becca-dress/d839500.pd#272329951

Thank you.
It sounds daft but this conversation is making me feel quite teary. I don't think I've ever had a conversation about clothes with other women in my life.

I've always had a problem with wrap dresses. They seem to gape around my boobs where ever I buy them from.

I like that Becca dress very much.

I have a sort of capsule make up kit that my sister put together for me a few years ago. She knows about that sort of thing. I just replace the stuff when it runs out. It's basically a green tinted colour corrector, a decent foundation and decent mascara and a very slightly coloured lip gloss. Occasionally, a neutralish eye shadow.

I like this

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.2/5435100951

About as far away from black as can be though?

Have you tried the magic dress OP. Flattering for all sizes 10-18. Hides the tummy but shows off neckline legs and upper body. Maybe worth a try.

I have to say, I really like the dress you are wearing in the photo. Its pretty. I would say a pair of heels and nice long necklace would look really nice.

Also, big well done on the weight loss. 5 stone is a massive loss. Good luck with your goals. Well done you!

Sorry, mean to include link for the magic dress, which come sin various sizes. www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00GHNT2MQ/ref=twister_B00GHNN6IW?psc=1&th=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforum-21

Honestly? I think you look lovely as you are. The dress you're wearing suits you, I really like it. Have you been to one of the beauty counters in Debenhams or similar? New makeup is always good to make you feel more glamorous

Loving the idea of a magic dress. Please to tell me it gives me three wishes as well.

Thank you both Tee and Easy. I like this dress, but it's cotton and a few years old, so in person, kind of, not shabby, but not smart either. Also, if I take off the cardigan, it's loose and gappy around the underarms, because it's really a size too big now. Most of my dresses are cotton and sort of day feeling.

I suppose I want glam fabrics, something that feels a bit more elegant/luxurious. And something more, oh, I don't know, styled I guess.

Could you get to a branch of John Lewis? Is so, I throughly recommend making an appointment with a personal stylist. There is no charge, and no obligation or pressure to buy, and i can strongly recommend the experience. The only trouble is, that you might find more than one thing that you really, really want.

Enjoy, you look lovely.

You don't need 3 wishes; looks like you are beating your goals by yourself. Do you know any dressmakers? How about getting someone to make you something from a pattern, then they can tweak it as you lose weight and you can choose your own fabrics. No good for your date night, but maybe an idea going forward.

www.boohoo.com/plus-long-sleeve-lace-top-slinky-jumpsuit/PZZ90686.html

This is gorgeous

How about Joe browns? Maybe not "grown up" but slightly more fun and funky?
www.joebrowns.co.uk/sp+summer-sale-ladies-sale-dresses-cheeky-twist-dress+wd331

Oasis might be good too for a bit more glamorous.
If you're feelin gbrave, maybe TK maxx? I always have to take my mum, as she is really good at finding strange things and making me try them on!

I would second the personal shopper at JL. They are very good at pulling me out of a style rut (as are many of the S&B threads on here).

I have massive boobs out of all proportion to my height and weight so also find wrap dresses can be gapey, but they are flattering. I buy cotton/Lycra camisoles from Primark to go underneath the dress and preserve my modesty. They are very cheap (under £2 normally) and come in a huge range of colours so you can vary the look of a neutral
black/navy wrap dress by trying different colour camis underneath them.

If your legs are your best bit how about the old standby of white skinny jeans and heels worn with a floaty top? That can look very fresh and flattering

Have you thought about getting a colour and style consultation with one of the companies that do that sort of thing? I had one with House of Colour. The consultation isn't cheap (a couple of £100s I think - was a birthday present) but it has (a) helped me to go shopping as I now know what to look for, instead of standing in the middle of John Lewis not knowing where to start / just living in jeans like you and (b) saved me a fortune as I no longer buy clothes I never wear. You end up with a pallet of colours that make you look brighter and healthier, and a list for a reasonably sized capsule wardrobe in styles that will suit you. Now I buy stuff that suits me, rather than stuff that looks good on people I wish I looked like (but looked awful on me).

I was nervous about the style consultation, imagining a Gok Wan or Trinny and Susanna style boob-grabbing assessment. But it was nothing like that. They just measure your height ratios (leg length, back length, neck length) and assess your overall structural shape - angular, rounded etc, combined with your personality and lifestyle, so it's not cringey and has nothing to do with weight or wobbly bits being hidden away. It's given me loads of confidence choosing what to wear.

Sorry this sounds a bit like an advert but I do find that when I talk about this to other people they often imagine it being something that it's not so I'm trying to give you a full picture. I'm not affiliated to HoC, just found it life-affirming and a little bit transformational. Other companies are undoubtedly available.

I love that BooHoo jumpsuit but think my spare tyre would probably preclude me from wearing it.

Through HoF I have just discovered Studio 8. For some reason I am drawn to lots of their stuff. But I am not good at fashion. If you felt like critiquing these thoughts, I'd be very grateful.

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/studio-8-francesca-swing-dress/d885113.pd#281573745

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/studio-8-celeste-dress/d789308.pd#266499968

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/studio-8-sienna-dress/d780329.pd#263543556

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/studio-8-cecelia-dress/d781010.pd#256343945

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/studio-8-kelis-dress/d817068.pd#267792296

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/studio-8-tess-dress/d867100.pd#264264773

I think you are ding really ell alreadyy! You have obviously identified the shapes that suit and flatter you, and know which of your best bits to accentuate.

I agree that the dress you are wearing suits you, but what you probably need is that type of style glaming up a bit.

Are you specifically looking for one dress for this night out?
Do you wear heels? they always add glam.

And start experimenting with make up now, inadvance, so on the evening you want to create 'the look' you can do it with confidence.

Why don't you think about having your hair styled the day of the night out? talk to your hairdresser about doing a glam style. Maybe an updo or curls?

What about jewellery? that adds glam.

I'll have a look for dresses.

Oh and I like the idea of a style appointment with someone. Even if the thought of someone looking at me with their actual eyes makes me feel cringey. I think I might save it until I get to where I hope to get with my weight though.

Have you tried Bravissimo? I find their dresses are a bit hit and miss on me personally, but when they hit they really hit! Great for bugger busts.

Baby, I do wear heels. Not often, but I do like them.

Yes. That's kinda what I'm thinking, like an evening version of the stuff I wear during the day, but I don't know if that just makes me a bit conservative.

Curls might be fun. I always wanted to be curly!!

The green studio 8 Tess dress is absolutely gorgeous!

Studio 8 is Phase Eight's plus size range, so if you're in a crossover size also have a look at Phase Eight for similar style things but possibly more choice.